HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!! ALL U SMHEXY PEOPLE OUT THERE! ! !

theres was a family of 5 mum,dad,brother,sister and a babe on a plane but ta plane was gng to crash but there was a problem there was only 4 purshiut so ta mum wnt 2 ta baby n said u will hve to stay opn here


they jumped out of the plane n after they heard a baby cired they looked all round them n it was the baby the mother went 2 ta baby "how ta fuck did u get dwn ere" the baby said "im nt stupid im not dum but me hold on 2 daddys willy"

cezzy joke to me lol *shakes head*


three men were walking ta streets on a really hot summer day. they turned ta corner n there was a pub but none of them had any money on them so any way ta first man walked in n said 2 ta pub owner n said tat they gt no money can we do anything 4 u


the pub owner said that his daughter is lking 4 a man but they no1 out there so any way the first man wlked upstairs lking at her n said tat im nt desperated


the second man cam in n said actually ta sme thing as ta fist man n ta pub owner said actually ta same thing so he went upstais n cme bk dwn n said tat i gt a gf


ta third man came in ask ta same thing n ta pub owner said actually ta same thing as early so the third man wnt upstairs took her 2 ta bedroom found an empty packet of cheese n onion raper and pulled ta scaps of ur fanny n through th out of the window 10 min l8r he cme bk dwn n tld ta pub owner n he gt a free bottle of water


he en wlked out of ta pub saying tat he gt a free bottle of water n ta other 2 said tat they had a free packet of scraps

ewo did ya know [boyfriends are like furbys. you always want one, then when you get it you want to kill it.]
hee hee hee

A boy and a girl,
the best of friends.
From elementary to high school
from beginning to end.








Through all those years
their friendship grew.
They both felt the same,
but neither knew.








Each waking moment
since the day they met.
They both loved each other
sunrise to sunset.








He was all she had
in her terrible life.
He was the one
who kept her from her knife.








She was his angel,
she made him smile.
Though life threw him curves,
she made it all worth while.








Then one day
things went terribly wrong.
The next few weeks
were like a very sad song.








He made her jealous
on purpose he tried.
When the girl asked, "Do you love her?"
on purpose he lied.








He played with jealousy
like it was a game.
Little did he know
Things would never be the same.








His plan was working
but he had no clue.
How wrong things would go,
the damage he would do.








One night she broke down,
feeling very alone.
Just her and the blade,
no one else home.








She dialed his number,
he answered, "Hello"
She told him she loved him
and hung up the phone.








He raced to her house
just a minute too late.
Found her lying in blood,
her heart had no rate.








Beside her was a note,
in it her confession.
Her love for this boy,
her only obsession.








As he read the note,
he knelt down and cried.
Grabbed her knife,
that night they both died.








She was found in his arms,
both of them dead.
Under her note
his handwriting said:








"I loved her so,
she never knew.
All this time
I loved her too."

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.



He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:



"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."



To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

helo agen im bored bored bored bored i aint got ne thing to deo if ne1 has ne ideas let me no coz im a misery guts lol

hey this is me pd well wat is up wid life ill tell u i hate it n i hate myself my mate so called mate (2fast2race) hates me for no apparent reason so i say f*** him coz i aint gonna let it ruin my day oh n james if ur readin this then i wanna tel ya tha i no n tha i canhate u too but ppl think ur jealous dunno wat of