Well, I'm not going to lie about it, it hurt a lot. It's been such a long time since I've been really 'active' on this website, and coming back, hearing from him, was kind of a refreshment. It's been a really long time since I talked to Dillon, I mean, he was one of my main reasons for even coming back on here. I missed his friendship a lot, and he is/was one of the most influential people in my life. I mean, he helped me grow SOOOOO much, and I'm so thankful for that. I guess things between us got a bit personal, which I can understand. I mean, I put him through so much shit, and he didn't deserve it. Apologizing doesn't take that away, no matter how much I wish it did. When he said that he didn't want to talk to me though, man. It was like a million bricks being thrown at me. I even feel like I'm gonna cry, but idk. I guess its his decision, you know? If he doesn't want to talk to me, for whatever reasons, then I suppose I can't force him to. I wouldn't want him to either, especially if it was something he didn't want to do. I can't say it doesn't hurt though.

I guess there are still feelings there, you know? I mean he was someone I looked up to quite a bit, loved in a way, more than I should have I would like to think. I put him on such a high pedestal that it wasn't a surprise that he fell from it. I do that too much I think, but I'm learning from it. I guess its all for the best.

I just realized that no one ever really writes journals on here anymore. It's all quizzes or something. I guess its weird to write a blog on a journal page too though...heh. Oh well.

This has been blog entry number 2.

Alright, well Its been such a very long time. OH SO LONG, since I've been on here. I just realized the other day, I don't remember any of the people in my relations. O.O oops! lol. I don't know what to do now. Should I message them, or delete them all? omgz! I just don't know what to do now.

I just found out that one of my friends has been drinking. I don't know if any of you know me, but I'm against drinking and drugs and stuff. Now don't get me wrong, I don't care if you're 21, and drink socially. That doesn't bother me, BUT I hate when people my age (17 or so) drink. I mean, its so stupid. Most of the people here do it cause they want to be "cool" I mean fuck, why the hell is that cool? So you get wasted and can't remember it. Thats so fucking amazing! Lets do this every night! *looks excited!* -sighs-. I mean...why not do something more fun? like go to a concert? or go into a grocery store and dance in some random isle? Isn't that fun!?!?. No wonder I have no friends. XD

I have a burrito, and no batteries for my remote. I should get off my fat ass and go get some. I'm too lazy.

This has been blog entry number 1.