"The most damaging aspect of abuse is the trauma to our hearts and souls from being betrayed by the people that we love and trust."

Sooo true! It's one thing to be hurt by one who is an acquaintance or one who has little influence or impact on our lives. BUT... it's an entirely different and more devastating situation when we are hurt and betrayed by those we bring "into" our hearts, where we care deeply for them, and so trust and love them. ...And abuse has many faces!

..And so, once again, a quote of mine applies: "We can only be hurt as deeply as we love and care... and trust."

Is this right? There is no grey background showing both in the news' and other boxes on Mainstuff nor in the badge or description areas in my house. But the grey background is showing in my diaries. When I first started using the Dynamic Stylesheet, both the MS boxes and my house had grey backgrounds, but not now. Why is this? Anyone know why?

Thank you [Stephen] and [sammie h!]! I appreciate your complimentary comments very much on Redesigning Elfpack. :) Since this is a bit long for a comment on the wiki-page, I'm placing it here in my diary instead.

I love both being creative, including making computer graphics, and being helpful/useful. ..And I also do networking, which could be beneficial to promote Elfpack. ..And my time is my own to do with it pretty much as I want to. However, there's a 'but', and this but is, I'm afraid that in regards to Hedda and what he's doing to me now, history will repeat itself. ..And I'm not willing to lay my head once more on the chopping block so he can chop it off yet again. Many people have been made to believe that it's all my fault, when in fact, it is all just a cover so his "extra curricular activities" won't be known and "I" must be punished for revealing his 'secret activity', which he has threatened me with if I told what I know, he would have me thrown off the Internet. So, in a nutshell, he expects me to go along with his privacy invasion, but I'm supposed to keep my mouth shut about it. Well, no, when another invades my privacy, I don't just shut up about it and I highly doubt anyone else in my position would either.

In spite of everything I have been put through and am still being put through, I am willing to work things out "with him" AND in such a way that would be mutually beneficial for us both and with as little damage to 'his' reputation as possible, regardless of what he's doing to mine, because I would just rather put the whole fiasco behind not only us, but everyone else involved that has been pulled into this mess, because Hedda refused to deal with things right from the get go, for I did go to him with my concerns FIRST. Please note that I say this 'publicly' and with purpose, the purpose being, so that I may be held to what I say. I am a person of my word.

If he is as innocent as he claims, then perhaps, he'd care to explain why he hid this wiki-page from public view: http://elftown.eu/_Calls_To_Myself ? Perhaps, it's because on it there's data that implicates him with the tampering of my phone? A person doesn't conceal evidence unless they are guilty. Perhaps, he would also care to explain why he believes he needs "diplomatic immunity" to enter the United States, because as he stated, he's just one crazy sheriff away from being thrown into jail in the US because of some American moralist law... "his own words". ..And he does, after all, have immediate family living in the US, including a sister-in-law who is a member of Missouri's state representatives.

..And I'm NOT writing this to stir up trouble here. But people do need to KNOW the truth, not just one sided innuendo, designed to make me look like I'm the bad person and everyone else involved is blameless. The data I've collected and documented says otherwise. One can't have as much data as I have collected, saved, and logged, pointing to "one" person, for that "one" person to not be involved.

But... I do believe in second chances, even third or fourth or as many as it takes if a person is trying to get it right and especially if it's a person I have admired and held in high regard, because we all make mistakes, myself included, but it is through our mistakes we learn the most important lessons. However, in order to learn from them, we must first be accountable. ..And I'm not asking or expecting "public accountability" because I'm not after Hedda to bring him down. Just accountability with me is all I ask and then he and I can work things out amicably and mutually beneficial for us both. I, the person being violated, AM willing, but apparently, he, the person doing the violating, is not. One can lead a horse to water, but one cannot make that horse drink. Hedda has a way out, but he refuses to take it, even though the way out would serve "HIS BEST INTERESTS"! ...Because he would then gain back my respect and with this respect, my support as well. So who is the one acting immaturely and bullheaded here? It certainly isn't I!

Because of other data I've collected and also provided to me by a few others, I believe there are also extenuating circumstances, which preempted the start of this, but then got out of hand. But if the person refuses to talk reasonably and civilly and with maturity, a situation cannot be resolved, and if it can't get resolved, then I am left with only one recourse and this is to defend myself, which I WILL do. This can be taken to the bank!

Am I aware that defending myself will be detrimental to Hedda's sites, his endeavors? I am. ..And I am truly sorry about this, because no one loved his sites more than I, which I have proved profoundly so, through the MEGA work, time, and devotion I've given to his sites, not to mention I've donated over $1000.00 as well. If I didn't believe in and have faith in the value of his sites, I wouldn't have bothered. Along with this devotion and faith, I also developed one and the same for Hedda, himself. So in the beginning when I first began with my suspicions about things that were happening that were strange and seemingly unexplainable, the LAST person I wanted to suspect was Hedda. ..And so, I made countless excuses for him and I even opted to use my "secret diary" to communicate with him, because I KNEW that he was reading my 'secret diary entries'. He does so from the database. He does NOT have to be seen visibly as 'active', but be sure, he can be present nonetheless.

I have been accused of being consumed with hatred. THIS couldn't BE farther from the truth. I do NOT hate Hedda or anyone! I hate what has and is being done to me, but I do NOT hate those involved, but ESPECIALLY Hedda. I just want this all to stop! I would like to be able to restore my faith in him and his sites, but I will NOT accept blame for anything I am not guilty of nor will I accept blame for what someone else is doing that they shouldn't BE doing. ..And I think it's pretty safe to say that others wouldn't either.

This invading my privacy started about six years ago and it's still going on. I was told by Elftowners that if I would just leave Elftown, THIS would all stop, but it has NOT stopped and it's not going to stop until an amicable resolution can be derived or if I pursue avenues until I get it stopped. I would much prefer the fore rather than the latter, but if the fore is made to be undo-able, then the only other alternative I have left is the latter. I want to be afforded the opportunity to understand why it started in the first place, but the only person who can do this, is Hedda, himself, since he knows why, and no one else does. Once I can understand the why, then I can be afforded also the ability to forgive him so he can be freed of the guilt he's harbouring. Agreement is not necessary for understanding to take place. ..And then I could finally put this behind me. Something that is still going on in the present cannot be placed in the past.

Also, if anyone is wondering still why I am willing to work things out amicably with Hedda, take a look at <diary:135588>. Reciprocation is NOT necessary. So enough said. :'(

Oh, don't I know this! If one wants to know who their REAL and TRUE friends are, one will find out when they are going through some hard times in their life. Those who stick by/with a person are REAL and TRUE. Those who don't and/or turn against a person struggling, are FAKE.

*no comment*

http://blog.kaspersky.com/signs-of-compromised-site/

http://blog.kaspersky.com/keylogger/

Included here is the link to an image containing two screengrabs combined into one image "of my desktop". The first one (top) shows I was finishing the Dell Stage install and the time showing in the lower right hand corner of my desktop image is "8:45 pm" (my time EST). The second one (bottom) shows Dell Stage is back and is displaying across the lower half of my desktop and the time also displayed is "8:46 pm" (my time EST). BUT... also in the second (bottom) image of my desktop, you can see at the top, just a little left of the center, the "temperature, date, and time" thingy showing data, but for NOT FOR MY AREA, but for "Linkoping, Ostergotland", which is Sweden, which is where a certain "person of interest" lives.

Now here's the accounting of...

On March 14th my computer installed updates and so, I needed to restart my computer for them to take effect. When my computer came back up from the restart, there was a prompt telling me that Dell Stage had an upgrade available. So I went online and proceeded to download it and then I installed it of course. But.. get this, once installed, I suddenly had something "NEW AND DIFFERENT" on my desktop telling me the temperature, date, and time, which had not been there previously, as can be seen also in the top image grabbed BEFORE the installation of the newer Dell Stage was completed. (Witnessed, screengrabbed, documented, and saved with the rest of the data I've collected.)

But... the real kicker? It doesn't show for "my" area or "my" time zone, which is EST (NY). It provides the data for... Linkoping, Ostergotland in "Sweden"!!!

"I" didn't put it there. So, doesn't it seem that there was some kind of intervention? Divine? lol ..And ESPECIALLY since it gives data for Linkoping, Sweden, doesn't it seem fitting to assume that a certain "person of interest" (umm.. divine person of interest... lol) who also, it just so happens, lives in Linkoping, Sweden, could very well have had a hand in its appearing? Am I to begin singing praises for this "person of interest"? lol (Am trying to maintain a sense of humour here. It isn't easy!)

I contemplated looking into its removal, but then I thought, "Eh, I'll just leave it on my desktop for now. I guess it can't hurt to know what time it is in Linkoping and what the temperature is." ...And I'm also a person who believes that some things can be beneficial in disguise if we just kinda' leave them be and just observe. We can learn much from "observation".

So, for about two weeks, it remained on my desktop, although I did need to move it over to the right, so when I displayed my desktop icons, I could see them without this temperature, date, and time thingy interfering. ..And since I screengrab EVERY time I connect and disconnect from the Internet, as well as anything else that may prove beneficial for future reference, I have a full and complete record of this date, time, and temperature thingy remaining on my desktop during a timeframe period of two weeks.

Apparently, however, I was only supposed to have it there for two weeks, because....

On the 27th of March, again, I needed to restart my computer for the same reason.. to install computer updates, but just having to do with my computer, nothing to do with Dell Stage this time. BUT... when I brought my computer back up from the restart, however, the temperature, time, and date thingy was GONE!!! Why, it left just as mysteriously as it came AND it left AFTER I shared this little story with others IN PRIVATE "on MY phone" in what were "supposed to be" PRIVATE CONVERSATIONS!! (Witnessed, screengrabbed, documented, and saved.)

Addressing "person of interest":

"So, you see, dear sweet, brilliant, resourceful, ingenious, clever man.... give one enough rope, and they will hang themselves. ..ESPECIALLY when the person also sees themselves as "invincible" and "infallible". When an individual deludes themselves, foolishly and fallaciously, into thinking they are "infallible", they then open wide the door and establish the prerequisite to the eventual and ominous fruition of their own "fallibility".

I have offered to you a way out that would not be harmful in any way to you, and in spite of everything, in spite of your childish and immature behaviour, but your stubborn pride and arrogance supersedes your intelligence, and so, therefore, erodes it. What a shame! What a waste!

For a person who advocates for rights and freedoms and resents greed as much as I do, you fail to see how you imprison yourself, all the while trying so diligently to control me, but yet, I'm the one who is free. Lies imprison, truth frees. Brilliance can only shine when practiced for good. ..And only a person who stands accountable for their actions, can expect and deserve respect. My forgiveness awaits, but it's you that has to accept and THIS I cannot do "for" you. Only you can remove the tarnish and allow your brilliance to shine, for it is you that has this choice, this power, and no one else.

I once had a great admiration and respect for you. You amazed me in many ways. ..And it's not that I have lost this sight, it's just that you allow this situation to discolour my sight and leave me with no recourse than to defend myself ..and I really would rather not defend myself against a person who still holds a very special place in my heart. ♥"

..And for ANYONE who can't understand what and or why I'm saying what I am, it's because you aren't in the same place and therefore, the essence of, is beyond your comprehension. We can't speak with conviction and have it hold any strength, if we aren't willing to back it up, especially when we are being put through the test of verification of that which we say. ♥

Here are the screengrabs of my desktop from 2013-03-14, which I first addressed in <diary:135556> about a "temperature, date, and time" thingy appearing on my desktop immediately following a Dell Stage upgrade and installation. In the first screengrab one can see the installation is complete and the time showing in the lower right hand corner is "8:45 pm". My time is EST. In the second screengrab is immediately following and one can see Dell Stage is displayed across and in the lower half of my desktop window and up at the top, just to the left of the center, is the temperature, date, and time for "Linkoping, Ostergotland", which is Sweden. Please note the time displayed on my computer's desktop of "8:46 pm".

First screengrab:


Second screengrab:


So, I ask, WHY would "temperature, date, and time" data for "Linkoping, Ostergotland, Sweden" be placed on "my" desktop? Ring any bells!? O.O

More screwiness with my house! Take a look! I just edited my house to add an Easter image and not only was 'new' text added to the bottom of my house, but then there's this! ...Which I didn't catch in the preview because I scrolled to the top quickly to preview it, but didn't pay any specific attention to the rest, except for the bottom, which I couldn't miss since it's displayed just over the edit area.

Here's what I'm referring to:


SO, HOW OR WHY EXACTLY IS THIS HAPPENING!!!!????

There's something weird going on in my EP house and on my wiki-pages.

When I go to "edit" either, there is either the text area itself that's being messed with or there's text and/or links being added at the very bottom of the editing box. But... these 'newly' made, strange appearances and text disturbances aren't visible until I go to make an edit of the page/house. If I "back up" using my browser, making no new edits, everything is as it was before I hit edit or change personal data. If I re-hit to edit or change personal data, then the strange aforementioned appears once again. ..A few times with a 'different' messing with the text area.

I've been screengrabbing them as they have occurred and for the peculiar added texts and/or links placed in at the very bottom after the [#], I decided to just leave them there. When I first started experiencing this weird behaviour, I was just fixing or hiding it on the editing side.

Here's the latest episode taking place in my house (The highlighted is what's NOT supposed to be there):
1) <img:https://sites.google.com/a/artsieladiegraphics.com/www/_/rsrc/1315271091886/home/2-MetallicButton10x10.png> ~ “An idea ~ http://artsieladie.wordpress.com
img250:https://sites.google.com/a/artsieladiegraphics.com/www/_/rsrc/1363734206492/home/FlyingCupidByArtsieladie2013-02-14_500x613.pngimg:https://sites.google.com/a/artsieladiegraphics.com/www/_/rsrc/1315271091886/home/2-MetallicButton10x10.png held prisoner in the shadow of silence can never shine in the light of day.”

It's supposed to read like this:
2) <img:https://sites.google.com/a/artsieladiegraphics.com/www/_/rsrc/1315271091886/home/2-MetallicButton10x10.png> ~ “An idea held prisoner in the shadow of silence can never shine in the light of day.”

This is what was thrown into the exampled text, which is highlighted in example #1:
~ http://artsieladie.wordpress.com img250:https://sites.google.com/a/artsieladiegraphics.com/www/_/rsrc/1363734206492/home/FlyingCupidByArtsieladie2013-02-14_500x613.pngimg:https://sites.google.com/a/artsieladiegraphics.com/www/_/rsrc/1315271091886/home/2-MetallicButton10x10.png

Next, I will upload screengrabs to show more of what I'm trying to explain... brb

Here are the screengrabs depicting what I'm talking about.

This is how example #1 is displaying. As can be clearly seen, it IS MESSED UP!!!!!


Now this is how it's SUPPOSED to look, as in example #2:


As can be CLEARLY seen, the text in the first image is definitely MESSED UP!!! grrrr

Here's something really weird. On the evening of March 14th my computer installed updates and so, I needed to restart my computer for them to take effect. When my computer came back up, there was a prompt telling me that Dell Stage had an upgrade available. So I went online and proceeded to download it and then I installed it of course. But.. get this, once installed, I suddenly had something on my desk top telling me the "temperature, date, and time", which had not been there previously. (screengrabbed and witnessed)

But... wanna' know the real kicker? It didn't show for "my" area or "my" time zone. It provided the data for... Linkoping, Ostergotland in "Sweden"!!!

Now, on the 27th, again, I needed to restart my computer for the same reason.. to install computer updates, but only having to do with my computer, nothing to do with Dell Stage. When I brought my computer back up, however, the "temperature, time, and date" thingy was gone. (screengrabbed and witnessed)

So "I" didn't put it there AND "I" didn't remove it. So, doesn't it seem that there was some kind of "outside" intervention? ..And WHY would it be necessary for the "temperature, date, and time" to be placed on "my" computer and for Linkoping, Ostergotland, Sweden!!??

*sigh* I can remember when the Heddate sites were busy and bustling. Now they are virtually dead. But then, Karma does circle back around, doesn't it?

There's nothing to do here, nothing to get interested in to get involved with and even if there was, there isn't anyone here to speak of to spark interest with. :(

Now this is an excellent example of some REAL "eye candy"! LOVE horses! --> http://tinyurl.com/FriesianStallion-EyeCandy

Something weird is going on. When I look at my house, the quotes under my Galadriel's Castle Grand work and before the Elftown Crest/Seal work, are just fine. But yet, when I go in to update my house, the text for this same area reads like this:

<img1350*:http://i1.minus.com/ibaOSbSSqxsupM.png>
_{http://i1.minus.com/ibaOSbSSqxsupM.png}

<img:https://sites.google.com/a/artsieladiegraphics.com/www/_/rsrc/1315271083749/home/2-MetallicButton15x15.png> <img:https://sites.google.com/a/artsieladiegraphics.com/www/_/rsrc/1315271042471/home/2-MetallicDividerThin750x8.png> <img:https://sites.google.com/a/artsieladiegraphics.com/www/_/rsrc/1315271083749/home/2-MetallicButton15x15.png>

<h3><blue>Some more quotes I have written:</blue></h3>
<table><img:https://sites.google.com/a/artsieladiegraphics.com/www/_/rsrc/1315271091886/home/2-MetallicButton10x10.png> ~ “An idea held prisoner in the shadow of silence can never shine in the light of day.”
<img:https://sites.google.com/a/artsieladiegraphics.com/www/_/rsrc/1315271091886/home/2-MetallicButton10x10.png> ~ “Undermining the earned integrity of another... verifies the offender’s lack thereof.”
<img:https://sites.google.com/a/artsieladiegraphics.com/www/_/rsrc/1315271091886/home/2-MetallicButton10x10.png> ~ “The true worth of a person is measured by the size of their heart, not the size of their wallet.”
<img:https://sites.google.com/a/artsieladiegraphics.com/www/_/rsrc/1315271091886/home/2-MetallicButton10x10.png> ~ “Unspoken words of today can become regrets of tomorrow.”
<img:https://sites.google.com/a/artsieladiegraphics.com/www/_/rsrc/1315271091886/home/2-MetallicButton10x10.png> ~ “Suppression of evidence is admittance of guilt.”
<img:https://sites.google.com/a/artsieladiegraphics.com/www/_/rsrc/1315271091886/home/2-MetallicButton10x10.png> ~ “One can only be hurt as deep as they love and care.”
<img:https://sites.google.com/a/artsieladiegraphics.com/www/_/rsrc/1315271091886/hoDreams can hold the key to the true desire of one me/2-MetallicButton10x10.png> ~ "Self perceived infallibility is the prerequisite of fallibility."
<img:https://sites.google.com/a/artsieladiegraphics.com/www/_/rsrc/1315271091886/home/2-MetallicButton10x10.png> ~ "When one's ego supersedes one's intelligence, erosion of one's intelligence results." </table>

<img:https://sites.google.com/a/artsieladiegraphics.com/www/_/rsrc/1315271083749/home/2-MetallicButton15x15.png> <img:https://sites.google.com/a/artsieladiegraphics.com/www/_/rsrc/1315271042471/home/2-MetallicDividerThin750x8.png> <img:https://sites.google.com/a/artsieladiegraphics.com/www/_/rsrc/1315271083749/home/2-MetallicButton15x15.png>

<h2>"Elftown Crest/Seal"</h2>
>Designed/created by Artsieladie, aka Sharon Donnelly ©2011 All rights reserved.

There's something screwy going on. However, if I back out of my house using the browser "back", then my house displays just fine. Since I still have my house also still open "in editing mode" in another tab, this is what it loaded as a little before midnight, my time:

<img1350*:http://i1.minus.com/ibaOSbSSqxsupM.png>
_{http://i1.minus.com/ibaOSbSSqxsupM.png}

<img:https://sites.google.com/a/artsieladiegraphics.com/www/_/rsrc/1315271083749/home/2-MetallicButton15x15.png> <img:https://sites.google.com/a/artsieladiegraphics.com/www/_/rsrc/1315271042471/home/2-MetallicDividerThin750x8.png> <img:https://sites.google.com/a/artsieladiegraphics.com/www/_/rsrc/1315271083749/home/2-MetallicButton15x15.png>

<h3><blue>Some more quotes I have written:</blue></h3>
<table><img:https://sites.google.com/a/artsieladiegraphics.com/www/_/rsrc/1315271091886/home/2-MetallicButton10x10.png> ~ “An idea held prisoner in the shadow of silence can never shine in the light of day.”
<img:https://sites.google.com/a/artsieladiegraphics.com/www/_/rsrc/1315271091886/home/2-MetallicButton10x10.png> ~ “Undermining the earned integrity of another... verifies the offender’s lack thereof.”
<img:https://sites.google.com/a/artsieladiegraphics.com/www/_/rsrc/1315271091886/home/2-MetallicButton10x10.png> ~ “The true worth of a person is measured by the size of their heart, not the size of their wallet.”
<img:https://sites.google.com/a/artsieladiegraphics.com/www/_/rsrc/1315271091886/home/2-MetallicButton10x10.png> ~ “Unspoken words of today can become regrets of tomorrow.”
<img:https://sites.google.com/a/artsieladiegraphics.com/www/_/rsrc/1315271091886/home/2-MetallicButton10x10.png> ~ “Suppression of evidence is admittance of guilt.”
<img:https://sites.google.com/a/artsieladiegraphics.com/www/_/rsrc/1315271091886/home/2-MetallicButton10x10.png> ~ “One can only be hurt as deep as they love and care.”
<img:https://sites.google.com/a/artsieladiegraphics.com/www/_/rsrc/1315271091886/home/2-MetallicButton10x10.png> ~ "Self perceived infallibility is the prerequisite of fallibility."
<img:https://sites.google.com/a/artsieladiegraphics.com/www/_/rsrc/1315271091886/home/2-MetallicButton10x10.png> ~ "When one's ego supersedes one's intelligence, erosion of one's intelligence results." </table>

<img:https://sites.google.com/a/artsieladiegraphics.com/www/_/rsrc/1315271083749/home/2-MetallicButton15x15.png> <img:https://sites.google.com/a/artsieladiegraphics.com/www/_/rsrc/1315271042471/home/2-MetallicDividerThin750x8.png> <img:https://sites.google.com/a/artsieladiegraphics.com/www/_/rsrc/1315271083749/home/2-MetallicButton15x15.png>

<h2>"Elftown Crest/Seal"</h2>
>Designed/created by Artsieladie, aka Sharon Donnelly ©2011 All rights reserved.

Basically, from my first batch of quotes, part of or almost all of the quote: "Dreams can hold the key to the true desire of one's heart." -> Dreams can hold the key to the true desire of one -> was inserted into the blue button link, in the middle of the word "home", like so: <img:https://sites.google.com/a/artsieladiegraphics.com/www/_/rsrc/1315271091886/hoDreams can hold the key to the true desire of one me/2-MetallicButton10x10.png>

Like I said previously, I backed out of editing using the browser, so nothing would be disturbed. Then looked at my house and there's no such thing going on. So, I again hit the "change personal data" and when I again arrived at the edit box, again, the text was messed up just as it was the first time I was going to edit, but when I refreshed my house's appearance in another tab, everything was still just fine.

I have also taken screen grabs of this strange goings on.

Now: 5:57 am (my time)

The Stalkers' page isn't even remotely funny and the REAL LIFE and most invasive stalker isn't even mentioned. Guess who? :(

No Helkern Worms now, eh? Ooops! Did I say something wrong? Oh... shucks! The truth!