i was talking to my "broken-hearted" bandmate (not me) who was just been dumped by his girlfriend and started talking about his "metaphor" of what he see things last night.
after that, i was awake all night writting this one. linking all those things he said like "drowning"

left

trapped in a room filled with silence.
the only thing i hear is my pencil, and pen running through this white piece of paper.
every line i make, recalls a memory. a memory of happy things. things that happened not long ago.

those're the most wonderful day of my life.

calm and serene

once more, i was counting the ants passing by. the last time i did that was.... like 10 years ago. i know, seems like a looney or something.
well, every person have their own way of expressing their lonelyness in some way.
i wonder. i always wonder why?
maybe because i was alone all the time.
i was searching everywhere.
i was running away from something i am really afraid of.....
....but keep on searching for it.

now, that i found it. i decided to accept it with arms wide open. then feel the truth that it is there all the time that i will never run anymore and will never leave.
it was LOVE i am looking for. the one that i love, miles away from me, over the seas, and mountains, and desert, and cities.
only time can tell when we can be together.

hope almost abandoned me...... again. it was like hanging on the tip of it's finger struggling to return within me and tell that "it will be okay, Jon".

my promises. this things that i will NEVER ever break.
happiness, the thing i want to share with the only woman that i love.
and all the love that i will give and share with her forevermore.

I LOVE YOU

1,2 all i got is a semi-automatic smile
oh shit i gotta get high
act now if you know who you are
you'll be lookin' at the picture
just to see you're a star
the invisible! the great! the incredible!
you talk too much
you talk about unspeakable
stop the lies, never act surprised, "what?!"
you run away never pay the price

so, you pull me down to get you high
'cause the sun won't shine for you to fly
'cause i don't know now so don't you try
so, hide yourself and you deny

come on, got to get it on
i'm steppin' on the zone, i don't want to be alone
and i exercise my right to not give up the fight
tonight is the night i wanna bring you to the light


so speaking kinda easy
losing your mind, you're goin' crazy
i'm bringing it back, holding it back
all you need is to react
do you really wanna feel me
everytime you try to hurt me
i'm walking away, flying away
find myself another day
so, tell me what you feel
tell me what is real
tell me what's the deal
with the pain you try to heal
so, do you really care?
is this really fair?
better beware
throw your hands in the air

One! maybe you can shine like the sun
Two! take everything that is for you
Three! open your eyes if you wanna see
Four! check the mic and check the score
Five! use your heart and try to survive
Six! do you wanna die with crucifix
Seven! your sins will be unforgiven
even if you know how to stop from breathing

3,4 i better get some more
my house is your house, never shut the door
and all the people in the place
who really want to rock with me
we will never ever stop until the next century
i'm free, and don't you wanna stay with me
i'll be the worst thing that you'll ever see
so, let it be, and let me see the real me
i will try to take you if you wanna bounce with me

you crucify and then you lie
'cause you don't see the crime, you testify
i talk to you, you don't reply
stop dreaming now, open your eyes

i never wanna take it, all i wanna do is break it
i'm so sick of you, all i wanna do is fake it
so, forget it, i never wanna think about it
i spit. i quit. i never wanna hear it.

i feel like the arrow is wearing off.

depression makes it worst... but inspiring at the same time.

just wrote another song and maybe after teaching tonight i'll just hop by the studio to do some recordings.

yes! i'll make it another song for the homogoblins.
gotta see if all of them can attend to the jam session.

right now, i'm preapring all the music notes and the drum beat so that we can finish it as soon as possible.
let's hope it will not take long like the You Are My Bliss song.

let's hope for a good result.

i'm not feeling well.

it's been about a week that i have this frickin head-ache.
the medication (i HATE meds) taht my doctor gave doesn't work anymore.

i need an axe to open up this skull to figure out what's wrong...or cutting it should be the best idea.

*hits head on the keyboard* there it goes again. >.<

i can't stand it. gotta kill the pain!

is it unfair
would you be aware
if i might
catch you in a stare

now tell me if it's okay
if i walk past your door today
i'm runnin out of happy things to say

but i don't need a funny line
'coz nobody laughs at a castle
that's crawling down
with ev'ry word you
ev'ry game you
ev'ry hate

come on now tell me
would it be a better day for you
if you bring me down?

you got your coat and tie
and you're lookin so cool
in front of the tv camera
all that just to tell us we'll be gone

now tell me is it all okay
if i tell you you're fuckin gay
don't anyone have a happy thing to say

but i don't need a funny line
'coz nobody laughs at a castle
that's crumbling down
with ev'ry word you
ev'ry game you
ev'ry hate

come on now tell me
would it be a better day for you
if you bring me down?

kill me a little
kill me a little every day
is it unfair (is it unfair)
to be aware (come on kill me)
if i might ever catch you in a stare

but i don't need a funny line
'coz nobody laughs at my castle
that crumbles down
with ev'ry word you
ev'ry game you
ev'ry hate

come on now tell me
would it be a better day for you
if you bring me down

why don't you tell me
would it be a better day for you
if you bring me down

A fatal attraction in ravenous pursuit
With unlimited and boundless goals


Passionately luring to gravely imprison
Trusting and virtuous souls


Seeking gullible, needy and reckless desire
Rebounding oblivious love


Promising to cherish, hold close and take care of
True love, it will surely be void of


Defiled distortions and witting betrayal
Intentions designed for misleading


It seeks not your looks but a beauty within
It’s your soul that it craves for the feeding


It bleeds your life fluids it thrives a slow death
A bloodcurdling sick Valentine


Just before taking your very last breath
A voice softly whispers “Be Mine”

A house in the back of a deep eerie shallow
Is distilling a horror on the eve of the Hallow

A place in which a death warrant is born
Sent to all and to all they will mourn

An annual messenger of tormenting pain
The young and the old it entertains

Their helpless souls are forever taken
And their bodies will be left, cold and vacant

For all who succumb to Its bloody arrest
A power grows from within Its nest

A sight so gruesome and beyond belief
The moon will darken and reflect its grief

Inevitably the terror returns to its source
It takes all the souls and shows no remorse

When it closes its doors it’s said to be known
A faint, eerie voice whispers,
“Home Sweet Home”

today....
is one hell of a shit and stressful day.
i just ....
i just want to be with her. i can feel peace. calm. quite. serene. everytime i'm with her. my one and only. the one i gave my heart for. *sigh* yeah, there will be a lot of sighs whenever i'm alone.
right now. what is right now? EMPTY! that is it. it is EMPTY

E-M-P-T-Y!!!