[Syn Serafim]'s diary

102656  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2007-07-19
Written: (5087 days ago)

Has it been to long that i can only rest without resting?
Would my eyes lay upon a sight that my heart breaks?
Can this be really the lost hopes of so many now dead lay?
Could I simply snatch it back for those broken promises towards the damned?

Can heaven and hell really exist for my eyes now lay upon it
The cursed and the saved in war around it
The damned and the deemed slain below it
The heart and the soul fighting over it

I wish not to believe and instead return to my days
laying helplessly upon the sand in the shade
reading of my poetry with a heart of her flutter
but all dreams lost when I remember where I lay

My soul damned to the torment alone
My heart broken with nothing to hold
My eyes weeping because my soul
Lives deep in this hell below

Alone in my room for so many year
that I cannot tell if I am really here
Daydream and night terrors all seem alike
I guess all that's left is what, in my eyes a fright

Had I only listened and done as told
maybe my world would be with you to hold
having not money but you as my gold
being not rich but priceless in your soul

Nevermore says thy raven who torments my door
No longer says the demons who beat against my floors
Never again I say without forgetting my past
I lost her and not I've alive but dead at last

Bombard my way the journey is long
is it really worth the risk
you're mine I know it in my mind heart and soul
and because I'll risk it

battle off the hatred and lies
deflect the horror and the cries
forget the tears shed between you and I
just grab you and never let you out of my sight

"PUSH ASIDE!" MUST I? This journey cannot be done
only a few hours and already I'm done
my arms heavy and my head light
I cannot continue this horrible fight

I cannot finish what i did not start
you were taken from me I did not let you be take
How come my heart burns for what cannot be mine?
Why oh why can i not relieve you from my mind?

Beat me senceless and throw me to the wolves
tear off my limbs and drown me
let me bleed internally
burn me and let me scream

I'd rather die then allow you to storm my mind
you're simply too far for me to be cryin'
The tears I shed cannot be shed no more
just take my life and end my terror

I have never felt such pain until I lost you
until the day God stole you
our lives together and now apart
my love travels through worlds to your heart

I pray god take me from the hell you put me in
allow me and my love to be together again
Lucifer and I cannot be friends
and you and I will never end

Take my soul as I drive so fast
release me of my fear and of my past
I will not stop I will not break
Never so alone as when I died on this day...

Nuckles (7/17/07) In honor of my loves long past...

93011  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2007-01-21
Written: (5266 days ago)

Please allow me to cry...
Okay I think I am done
Had there been a better time
This may have not begun

I love you, yes think it's true
You're only a second month within me
but that doesn't me much
I still believe we could be

loneliness is lonely and it's lonely to be alone
and I felt like God belssed me the first day I met you
Even if the world continued turning
my night would last forever with you

I feel like we have something but I don't know what
Oh please I wish not to break it up
just let me tell you how much I feel for you
and maybe that would help

I am me for a reason and why I do not know...
But at least It has to be a good one
Allow me a few more days to prove my worth and you're worth to me
and I promise you don't be disappointed.

Had life gone different
I would be dead by now
but the Gods blessed me with your presance
and I thank them everyday I am alive somehow

I may be alseep but I am still thinking of you
I may not be awake but you is what my mind is going through
Had I not become so obssesed over you I'd probably be dead
you're worth waking up to

I shall sleep now cause God knows I need it
but don't think I love you any less
I feel terrible everyday we don't talk or we fight
I just love you completly.


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