Why do I hurt so much...
Can you tell when the day I don't have to wake up again. or ever..

My mom gave me wrinkles in my forhead *Rubs it* She has the same ones.. *Pokes them a bit * Damn my mommy and her big forhead wrinkles..
<3

You make my heart skip a beat
when i See you sign on it beats faster..
You are my world, you are my everything
even though I have not known you for so it feels like I have known you forever..

I AM M E L T I N G in your eyes..
But on a serious note..

yOu do make me melt so badly.. You are soo adorable and just sooo mine *Clings* MINNNEEE

GUESS WHAT???

PEOPLE CALL ME F L A W L E S S

Don't worry
Nothing can hurt me now..
Just the pain is soo deep you can reach in and grab it any more..
But hey ! It's okay now..
The razor will never run aginst the wrist ..
My crimson will never spill for you..
My heart is in my chest.. Is that okay?
It inches it's way into my throat..
Maybe its better..
Words can't describe How I feel right now..
Half is just pure joy.. The other half.. I feel kinda empty like a part of you is gone?

But the one thing that I am sure about is tha I love you.. You are the one that has helped me through this..
You are the light at the end of my tunnel and all i can say is thank you..
I love you more then i love anybody or anything..
I adore you ..

ps.. My bf owns yours.. ! <3

TALKING TO YOU MAKES MY HEAT SKIP A BEAT
YOU SEEM TO FIND A WAY TO MAKE EVERYTHING BETTER..
ALL I CAN DO IS JUST THANK YOU ...
<3

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YEW <3

I am in soooo much pain right now..
My teeth are killing me which makes my head just throb..
I am ready to curl in a ball and just throw up... *rubs my eyes* It hurts a bunch and everytime I bend over it makes it feel worse.. >.<

Hey guess what... YOU .. YES YOU..
I <3 YOU LYKE WOAH <3

I thought pain was the nature of the beast..
Maybe it is Maybe its not.. You have shown me its not..
The rain outside pours from the skys..
Something so pure will wash anything away..

Okay so I woke up this morn and the only thing i could think of was..
TO HOT TO TROT.. *scratches my head as my cat ears go back* WTF.. where did that even come from..

I HATE MYSELF..
More then I will ever know..
I WILL NEVER FORGIVE MYSELF..
I WANT TO END THIS SHIT..
I HATE THIS FEELING.. My heart is in my throat..
CAN I GIVE UP YET?
IS IT MY TIME..

i <3 you [mfdspanky]
I just wanted to tell you so you will know..

Why am I so confused...
I think i just pissed you off..
Maybe I should pop some pills and just stop it all..
I care for you.. i don't know if you do me like we used to be..
I am confused. I want to fix it..

Dear world,
Is it okay if i give up PLEASE.. I hurt the one person I never wanted to hurt.. Sometimes I want to wave the white flag and say STOP WORLD.. I GIVE UP.. NO MORE PLEASE .. NO MORE PAIN FOR OTHERS.. I am sorry.. World.. I AM SORRY.. I will never heal the wounds I have created.. I am sorry.. i wish to take them away and put them on myself.. Put THE HURT ON ME TAKE IT AWAY FROM YOU.. you said you have become so cold.. Look what I have created.. I HATE Myself for it..

You are the LAST person I wanted to hurt..
Trust me on this one..
I rather Put pain upon myself then EVER EVER HURT YOU..
I have hurt you in so many ways then one.. It kills me everynight to know this..
I have to live with my mistakes and the major one is hurting you..
I can't Live withmyself for doing such a horrible thing to such a sweet person.. i am sorry..
I am sorry ... These words will never mend what I did to you.. NEVER..

One last diary thing.. Guess what i <3 Dustin ..i don't care anymore

The rain will NEVER wash away this pain I am feeling..
For its not MY pain.. But the pain of others..
I hate myself for doing this..
This is already my 3 journal post..
I can't stand it anylonger..
I want to throw up..
I want to go to sleep and never wake up.. Just not right now..
I hurt yall.. i am sorry.. I am through.. I am happy with him but that is not good enough anymore.. I can't STAND IT ANYMORE.. This game I don't wanna play .. I wanna raise my white flag in defeat

I have hurt so many people.. i feel like I am going to throw up.. I wanna run away and hide and never come out.. the tears I shed WILL NEVER BE ENOUGH.. NEVER.. i am happy.. But I am losing sooo much.. I hate myself because of the fact I am hurting my friends..

I am with somebody now..
But I hurt the people that in one time meant so much..
For all of you i am sorry.. I am happy now.. He makes me happy.. *sighs* I Don't wanna let go of my friends that ment so much.. Please don't make me let you go..