[ritsuka.]'s diary
when something good happens..why does it always turn out bad?
for fuck sake..
ARRRRRRRGHH!!!
.. >_<Written about Saturday 2006-07-29
Written: (6690 days ago)
I am the [ pain ].
I am the love♥.
I am /broken\.
I am that boy in the »corner cutting himself.
I am the one you -_-hate-_- but love♥ anyway.
I am
all of this,
Yet, I am ▒N▒O▒T▒H▒I▒N▒G
Hahah when I was little, ma mum and dad used to get on great, kissing hugging laughing together, i remember when I was a certain age around 6 or 7 sum1 said to me "it takes alot 2 get like them" and i thought what "she said it was scary" i didnt beleive her but now. love never seemed so scary
Oh and Diary!
Maybe I'm sick of everything...
Did you ever think of that?
Maybe I'm so caught up in everything and I just can't take it anymore...
No, that would never cross your mind would it?
You'd never take your time to notice pointless things like that. Well did you...Meya, Lora, Tyler Kai?!Eryn? well?! you people who think you "know" me so god damn well
Hey Diary! I ain't wrote in you for a while.
Tyler, [TeejayTERROR.] Asked me the other day when we where walking home from school. "Do I "know" you, like proper know you?" And like a million memories flashed through my mind, I remembered whispering "not anymore". No one knows the real Max. I have upset Tyler, I hardly see Luke [Edward Cullen.], Kai is in her own world, with her family and friends. Gary and stuff. <3Kai and Gary!<3
I found this on a website the other day. . . .
"Oh boo hoo.
You have a sob story.
We all have a sob story.
Don't think you're so special or different just because you're hurting.
Here's a secret...we're all hurting. " </3 </3 </3
Everytime I think I am secure, settled in life... it has to muddle me up again to the point when I dont know what I am doing. I dont know what I feel, I hate sounding all emo depressed! >_< But thats how I feel, I mean. People say there life is so shit, they slit there wrists, they scream and shout, lose the ones they love, blame everything on someone else. But if they stopped and thought about it, they should blame there mom, for giving birth to them, thats what I think. . . </3
Love Max.
I feel like I'm falling and there is no-one there to catch me.... - A mate said that to me once and I remember a couple of days after, we where walking down the road, she tripped up and I caught her. <3
<3 Edward Sissorhands rocks!
I hope things turn out okay for Meg and Eryn, I really do... They will always be in my thoughts now, I worry for them and there safety.... seeing Eryn like this is torture...awfu
![<img:http://i1.tinypic.com/nqbb42.jpg"%20border="0"%20alt="Image%20hosting%20by%20TinyPic">](http://i1.tinypic.com/nqbb42.jpg"%20border="0"%20alt="Image%20hosting%20by%20TinyPic")
Thanks Holly [::HOLLY WOOD::]
YAAAAAAA!!
HAH HAH!
MY GOD!
hehehe so true!
LMFAO!
Seems like just yesterday
You were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight
Everything felt so right
Unbreakable like nothing could go wrong
Now I can't breathe
No I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on
Here I am
Once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it
Can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright
For once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together but so broken up inside
Cause I can't breathe
No I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on
Here I am
Once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it
Can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
Swollow me then spit me out
For hating you I blame myself
Seeing you it kills me now
No I don't cry on the outside
ANYMORE!
Here I am
Once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it
Can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
Here I am
Once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it
Can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
By Kelly Clarkson - Behind these Hazel Eyes!
I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did,
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid
Because of you
Because of you
By Kelly Clarkson - Because of you! :'(
Both of them is how I feel About Eryn, I still love her... I dont want her to be in pain no more... she deserves so much better in her life....
www.darrenshan.com
New demon book soon! the demon theif! [TeejayTERROR.] is ovaaaaaaaaaaa ze moon! XD
*Drools* WOW!
EMO4
LIFE!!
ALL EMOS
R IN IT
2GETHA!!
Do you still love me?
Do you even care?
Would you care if i disappeared?
Would you know if i weren't there?
I love you.
You don't care.
You don't believe me.
You still aren't there.
*Stares at the eye, dazed* I WANT EYES LIKE THAT!!! *Goes to by HIM contacts*.
hmmmm....meh!