Too much angst. Must counter this with a random thing a friend of mine sent me while ive been offline, a German version of the Numa Numa song. 'tis weird. http://fchan.hentaiplanet.net/flash/src/gorigori.swf

Ego Unum Ne Habeo Unam ... Sola Ego Vivo...
-I'm the one who has no one. I live for myself alone.-

*sighs thoughtfully*
I really should thank Mrs Ciochina (cha-ki-na) for assigning us this book, Tuesdays with Morrie. Its about a guy with Lou Gerrigs (your body slowly shuts down until you die) and an old college student of his, doing one last project together, a final thesis on life and death.

Its making me think in deep, profound ways. I can't tell if its good or bad, sad or content, its something I haven't felt since I said goodbye to my grandpa a year and a half ago.

It makes me regret that I no longer have the time to talk to my friends or share my stories with them. It also makes me appreciate [how much my being here or sharing my writing may mean to someone, even if sometimes it feels like no one cares and no one listens.]

[Yes, I admit it, this is a cry for help...]

I can feel it.

Its coming again. The point at which I either break, collapse, sink into a massive ocean of angst and struggle, or stand firm, try to find a friend to help me find the strength to overcome.

I'm in a sad condition. I have many friends to lean on: I just wish one of them was a friend I didn't have to make up...

*sighs*

I wish I could talk to my friends online...

but I don't have a laptop.

I wish I could write my story and share it with everyone...

but I don't have a laptop.

I wish I could bring you the wonderfully drawn pictures I've done for my stories...

but I don't have a laptop.

I wish I could get back to the way things were, hang around, chat, draw, comment, and be there for people...

but I don't have a laptop.
And fate hates me.

Just another day in my life.
Just another bump in my road.
Just another knife in the back.
Just another cut through the heart.
Just another song left unsung.
Story unwritten.
Image undrawn.
Server not found.

Its all so depressing
Its all a soap opera
Its all going to happen again
And again
Even when I can't feel the pain anymore
Even when I'm soldiering on when all others fell away
Leave me behind
It will all just happen again.

Its the way things are. And its only going to grow.

*insert constant, vehement profanity throughout*
Great. We just got a call today from the company.

it would cost almost A THOUSAND DOLLARS to get it fixed. It took them two weeks to tell us this. Its not covered by warrenty because its physical damage that this bottom-of-the-line laptop, ive found out from friends, I should have expected for a cheap-ass $600 from Compaq. Because the power thing is messed up, I can't just not have it fixed. We're going to take it to a local repair guy and basically beg him to do it at a sane price. If not, we've spent a total of almost 1,200 on a piece of total shyte. A piece of shyte that has every bit of music, writing and artwork I've ever amassed, not to mention an installed and registered copy of WoW, which I might not be able to use if I can't just upload to a different computer. Providing I get one anytime soon. If the one guy can't fix it, my dad will try to. And you know what that means. He'll be able to do it in about 5 minutes, for absolutely no cost.

The log-into-messages-page thing reminds me.

Kusu is apparently possessed by demons now?

meh.

T.T a day and a half. Thats all it takes for me to be hit with another WTF-ism. Meh, I'm becoming jaded to that kind of shock. Yay for the Generation Without Hope.

Spent the entire car ride home scrambling to finish reading and taking notes on The Odysee. The light faded too soon so now I've been scrambling all night to finish it up.

While on the road, I charted out the entire Legend of Inari series all the way through Act 8, and have begun preliminary work on the second series. Yep, you heard it here first. A second set of them =D I'm never going to be able to finish all of this.

God damnit, I want my laptop back already T_T

Why is it that whenever I go to school, I'm reminded that there only seem to be three kinds of teenagers in general nowadays.

1. people who hate themselves.
2. people who hate everyone else.
3. people who are too depressed to care.

23 new pictures! I already uploaded them all once to ET, I'm not doing it again here. You'll just have to use your ET name or give any comments directly to me on here in an Elfmail ^^

http://elftown.lysator.liu.se/_Foxx%20Galary%20V
http://elftown.lysator.liu.se/_Foxx%20Galary%20VI

Whootness.


Parents and bro gone off to Indiana Beach all day to make themselves sick and woozy from roller coasters and waterparks. I on the other hand, "dont get to go" =P riiiiight. *cough*


This means, not only do I not have to pay people to scare the crap out of me (Which is why I don't get coasters, horror movies, etc) but I get the house, and the computer, to myself for several hours =D


I'm gonna grab the scanner at some point and go nuts with the uploads. And since my bro never used the puter yet today, that means I can easily cover up my tracks. I've learned its just too weird to know your sibling online. Still, I did decide to leave him the link to http://www.dominic-deegan.com =)

Oh, naturally. Drama with the computer. Somehow, I just knew.

We get there and take it back, smile and walk over to have the memory upgraded. no problemo. Then while the guys going to get the new processer, I decide to take a look to see if the new audeo port plastic would be a different color. Guess what I see.

Yep, still broken.

I shrug it off, and assume that, you know, at least they'll have fixed the charge-up problem. Again, you know where I'm going with this. The guy goes to run the processor to see if its working. It turns on.

Then it turns off 5 seconds later. Its working; but the whole problem was it doesn't recharge.

You'd think the manufacturer (it was less than a year old, so we had to send it to them instead of them just doing it at Circuit City) would at least have recharged the battery, since they could surely charge the battery itself. Nope.

So we get charged &72 for them to do nothing but put a plastic sleeve over it and ship it back, after several weeks of doing nothing and several more of doing nothing but claiming they're doing something.

So now, I get to wait even longer for it to be fixed. <3 techknowledgy.

Today during Visual Com I got to scan in a picture I did at school, then touch it up in Photoshop. What I learned is, with photoshop, I can make my stuff look like I have a clue when it comes to inking. anyhow, we got a call saying my laptop is fixed, but since 'rents arent home, i'll have to wait a while longer.

dah. I just did a double take. I'm turning into an angsty little emo whore like my brother. Someone toss me some New Age music and the first comedy DVD in reach! Okay for serious now, that means I'm gonna take some time off to find reasons to smile. Like GETTING MY FREKAING LAPTOP BACK, DAMN YOU CIRCUIT CITY!!! T_T

wow, my life's gotten boring. I was almost looking forwards to my bro kicking me off the computer before remembering he's not home. I don't even know why I was looking forward to it. Maybe its because I know that very, very soon, all my boredome will be replaced with work and study.

T_T Gaaaah... I want my laptop back. If the fact that the laptop is fixed and ready to be picked up has not been made true in the next day or two, I shall...

meh, who am I kidding, if its not done for another week, it wont change much. Just another week before I'm on regularly, and a ton more pictures to be scanned in.

I can't wait until we learn animations in Visual Com. By then, I should be a better artist, and able to put some of these things in my head into motion.

My english teacher is totally insane o_o she's like, an english nazi, but in a good way. She's basically PREACHING all, Heil active reading! *thrusts arm in the air*.

Turns out I did get birthday presents today ^^

1.) A printer from the parents, for schoolwork, yes, but like the laptop, probably going to get lots of home-computer use.
2.) Another awesome music CD, FLCL Vol 2 - King Of Pirates, not as good as Vol 1 - Addict was (there are some audeo tracks from the show, but they're in Japanese ><) ie, you can't just listen through the entire cd and not want to skip a few tracks like Addict.
Still, now I've got the last few songs I wanted, like Crazy Sunshine, Blues Drive Monster, Funny Bunny and I Think I Can

@_@ Yhis new music has sent me into a frenzy of art. Now I've got almost 30 pictures to scan in, whenever the hell my laptop is FINALLY done. *grunble*

Anyhow, while some drawings are turning out awesome recently, others, half of them in fact, just crash and burn. =/ theres no pattern to it. I'll just pause, look at it, and go 'oh my god' because I never draw that bad that often X.x

rantings... merf @_@ I need my laptop

*yawn* Still bored, no one to talk to, laptop gone for a long time, school monotony. No one talks to me, so I talk to no one.

My teeth get better, I don't get to see my only IRL friend Nathan at school this year at all, bla bla bla, dads officially going to be an overbearing hawk and make sure I'm 'a good student' bla bla bla.

Everything has been beaten over the head with the "suck" stuck.

Ah, the first day of school, and routines are already settling in. Like the 15 minutes or so I have left over after getting ready to go, then leaving at 6:45 my time. (tis 6:35 as I write this)

Great, school starts tommorow and my face is swollen out like a freakin' chipmunk. At least it doesnt hurt anymore, though I'm not even gonna try to eat anything solid until after the stitches in my gums dissolve.

Last night I had a kickass dream. I landed in a place where there are 10 floors, #10 being the entrance/exit. All other 9 were games and shyt you can program, but with your mind and a little hand work. Naturally, I restyled myself as Wes. Any dream where thats the end result rocks in my opinion.

Well tommorows the first day of school; I get to be a 16 year old senior because they keep pushing back the first day of school. Someone asked when I get my presents. A while ago. Thats what WoW was. But now, my laptop's outta commission even LONGER, because they didnt even start working on it until yesterday. e_e That means it won't be fixed until sometime around the end of the month T_T