*sighs and fumbles with loading the new picture*



I WISH I was that relaxed >< Between my partner for physics all but cutting 2 of his fingers clean off, not having any of the numbers of anyone I needed to work with, my dad getting called down to Louisiana for emergency help, and a billion other things, I just want to sleep... Sorry if I'm never on.

Taking as long as I can spare of my free time today to apologize for the fact that at this rate, i wont have ANY time on until some time on monday.

I got woken up to day to find out that I have to do chores nonstop until its time for me to leave for the friends house, and have to do anything left after I get back. WTF. Just because I want to hang out with friends, which I FINALLY have IRL, all of a sudden I no longer get any free time to myself.

Taking as long as I can spare of my free time today to apologize for the fact that at this rate, i wont have ANY time on until some time on monday.

I got woken up to day to find out that I have to do chores nonstop until its time for me to leave for the friends house, and have to do anything left after I get back. WTF. Just because I want to hang out with friends, which I FINALLY have IRL, all of a sudden I no longer get any free time to myself.

*sigh* great. Abso-effing-lutely great. But Ill get to why that is later; hint, it means that I either wont be on today, or I for sure wont get ANY time on friday, in addition to the fact I wont be going to my friends house. Oh wait I just told ya. Anyhow, the reason why Im writing this...

I dont let this side out of me much. its small, quiet, and usually doesnt exist, but it does now. Its the side that found me (at least in my dream) still the same old crazy, joke-prone guy as always. But no one liked my jokes. I was almost always finding myself on the floor after someone had kicked my legs out from under me. I felt teeth loosten and my nose threaten to break as I was kicked in the head after every dangerously soft-spoken sentance of menace spat in my face. All I could do was lay there and take it, appologizing and being kind; At least then they'd only kick me once or twice more.

I feel like curling up now... I need breakfast.

Damnit T_T Ive got to do an INSANE ammount of crap. I wont be able to enjoy my fall break at all! I have to do college crap and job search shyte on friday! that was supposed to be the day i got to hang out at a friends house all day! W-T-F! v.v

I miss yew already. Yew know who you are.

Ive got new art! Now; Why is everyone gone the moment I get on here x.x

At an indirect request from Kara, I'm gonna try to be on more often; but with the Legacy Project starting in my AP English class combined with Latin Club, our Physics catapult project, and hanging around with Nathan and my other new friends like Jarod and Ed, I'll be cramped for comp time as is, let alone time spent on WoW.

"Okay I Believe You, But My Tommy Gun Don't"


i am heaven sent,
don't you dare forget.
i am all you've ever wanted,
what all the other boys all promised.
sorry i told. i just needed you to know.
i think in decimals and dollars.
i am the cause to all your problems,
shelter from cold. we are never alone.
coordinate brain and mouth.
then ask me whats it like to have
myself so figured out.
i wish i knew..


i hope this song starts a craze.
the kind of song that ignites the airwaves.
the kind of song that makes people glad
to be where they are,
with whoever they're there with.
this is war.
every line is about,
who i don't wanna write about anymore.
hope you come down with something
they can't diagnose, don't have the cure for.
holding on to your grudge.
oh its so hard to have someone to love.
and keeping quiet is hard.
cuz you cant keep a secret
if it never was a secret to start.
at least pretend you didn't wanna get caught..


we're concentrating on falling apart.
we were contenders, we're throwing the fight
but i just wanna believe, i just wanna believe,
i just wanna believe, in us.


Oh, we're so c-c-c-c-c-controversial.
we are entirely smooth.
we admit to the truth,
we are the best at what we do.
and these are the words you wish you wrote down.
this is the way you wish your voice sounds,
handsome and smart.
oh my tongue's the only muscle on my body
that works harder than my heart.
and its all from watching tv,
and from speeding up my breathing.
wouldnt stop if i could.
oh it hurts to be this good.
you're holding on to your grudge.
oh it hurts to always have to be honest
with the one that you love.
oh, so let it go..


we're concentrating on falling apart.
we were contenders, we're throwing the fight
but i just wanna believe, i just wanna believe,
i just wanna believe.
we're concentrating on falling apart.
we were contenders, we're throwing the fight
but i just wanna believe, i just wanna believe,
i just wanna believe, in us.


this is the grace that only we can bestow.
this is the price you pay for loss of control.
this is the break in the bend,
this is the closest of calls.
this is the reason your alone,
this is the rise and the fall.


we're concentrating on falling apart.
we were contenders, we're throwing the fight
but i just wanna believe, i just wanna believe,
i just wanna believe.
we're concentrating on falling apart.
we were contenders, we're throwing the fight
but i just wanna believe, i just wanna believe,
i just wanna believe, in us.

New style of diary entry. A collection of random crap.

-Today was the homecoming rally. about 5 people avoided from going deaf.
-My bro and I were offered someone's car for free when we start driving. And yet, I dont give a crap o.o
-The drivers-ed-in-a-box thing is nothing but blatant logic and giving everything names.
-Jess ish a dude. Gasp.
-WoW has consumed my soul.
-Blue is a color!
-I'm going to die due to the fact I've done no work on my AP English journal, and ive got till friday to do 6 weeks worth of work.

More stuff.

-I've been using up nice printer paper to do a comic with all my Inari characters, except with Wes instead of Inari. Its an actual comic-comic, not a story comic.
-X-play has made me giggle many times today, due to its funny shyte.
-"Eat the kitten, soldier. Eat the kitten. ... *mew* Oh my god, he ate the kitten o.O"

I cant stop o.O Level 16 Human Mage, Level 9 Human Warrior, Level 10 Night Elf Druid and a level 6 Undead Warlock, Tauren Hunter, and Dwarf Paladin. I seem to have a block at leveling characters over 6 o.O But since I have so many alts, I can just switch them out and get the benefit of Rested state. That means I level up twice as fast for one and a half levels after a week of being offline.

O_O World of Warcraft. Its SO DAMN ADDICTING!
I can't stop killing and skinning innocent little rabbits and cows for their leather X.x 7+ hours always fly by at double speed. I do a happy dance whenever I find a rare or enchanted item.

I'm SUCH a goddamn nerd, and I fucking love it <3

Ima Psycho
Youra Psycho
We're all Psychos
And We're all damned happy, sad, or however the hell we want to feel.

And by the way...
My laptops back o.o; lets see if anyone notices ^^

Then lets see if anyone still cares.

I'll be too busy playing WoW =P

Peoples are getting seriously angry now o.o If JLVK (Jess/Lilly/Vixy/Kitten) actually still read my page, I'd give her a warning that she's about to have stuff crashing down hard around her o.o
feel free to hang around until it does. *cough* >>

So now Jess has ANOTHER nickname?
[Ayame Whitepaws]
Teh gawdess's scathing satire picture had a point. Way too many nicknames and disguises.

Too much angst. Must counter this with a random thing a friend of mine sent me while ive been offline, a German version of the Numa Numa song. 'tis weird. http://fchan.hentaiplanet.net/flash/src/gorigori.swf

Ego Unum Ne Habeo Unam ... Sola Ego Vivo...
-I'm the one who has no one. I live for myself alone.-

*sighs thoughtfully*
I really should thank Mrs Ciochina (cha-ki-na) for assigning us this book, Tuesdays with Morrie. Its about a guy with Lou Gerrigs (your body slowly shuts down until you die) and an old college student of his, doing one last project together, a final thesis on life and death.

Its making me think in deep, profound ways. I can't tell if its good or bad, sad or content, its something I haven't felt since I said goodbye to my grandpa a year and a half ago.

It makes me regret that I no longer have the time to talk to my friends or share my stories with them. It also makes me appreciate [how much my being here or sharing my writing may mean to someone, even if sometimes it feels like no one cares and no one listens.]

[Yes, I admit it, this is a cry for help...]

I can feel it.

Its coming again. The point at which I either break, collapse, sink into a massive ocean of angst and struggle, or stand firm, try to find a friend to help me find the strength to overcome.

I'm in a sad condition. I have many friends to lean on: I just wish one of them was a friend I didn't have to make up...

*sighs*

I wish I could talk to my friends online...

but I don't have a laptop.

I wish I could write my story and share it with everyone...

but I don't have a laptop.

I wish I could bring you the wonderfully drawn pictures I've done for my stories...

but I don't have a laptop.

I wish I could get back to the way things were, hang around, chat, draw, comment, and be there for people...

but I don't have a laptop.
And fate hates me.

Just another day in my life.
Just another bump in my road.
Just another knife in the back.
Just another cut through the heart.
Just another song left unsung.
Story unwritten.
Image undrawn.
Server not found.

Its all so depressing
Its all a soap opera
Its all going to happen again
And again
Even when I can't feel the pain anymore
Even when I'm soldiering on when all others fell away
Leave me behind
It will all just happen again.

Its the way things are. And its only going to grow.

*insert constant, vehement profanity throughout*
Great. We just got a call today from the company.

it would cost almost A THOUSAND DOLLARS to get it fixed. It took them two weeks to tell us this. Its not covered by warrenty because its physical damage that this bottom-of-the-line laptop, ive found out from friends, I should have expected for a cheap-ass $600 from Compaq. Because the power thing is messed up, I can't just not have it fixed. We're going to take it to a local repair guy and basically beg him to do it at a sane price. If not, we've spent a total of almost 1,200 on a piece of total shyte. A piece of shyte that has every bit of music, writing and artwork I've ever amassed, not to mention an installed and registered copy of WoW, which I might not be able to use if I can't just upload to a different computer. Providing I get one anytime soon. If the one guy can't fix it, my dad will try to. And you know what that means. He'll be able to do it in about 5 minutes, for absolutely no cost.