I'm so pathetic.. I can't believe I actually did that..

Why won't you listen?

Memories... *sighs*

I need to stop thinking about these sort of things..

08:43:37 Alphonse Elric: Hmm..it's back..wierd..YEA MARYLIN MANSON SUCKS!!!

08:51:40 kittykittykitty: *pets* There, there Al. MM serves his purpose. He's the scapegoat for the world's problems :)

08:54:15 Alphonse Elric: *Sniffles* ...You've..got a point there..

09:01:12 kittykittykitty: It's so dumb when that happens. I like his music :) He has a song that goes "I'm not a slave to a gun that doesn't exist". Of course, he meant the proverbial, metaphorical gun that represented religion. I take it that he was mocking dependance on guns like he was mocking religion, but I've heard that song used against him claiming he was glorifying usage of guns. Soooooo dumb x_x </rant>

09:03:35 Alphonse Elric: Hmm...The only song I've heard.....of his ...is one about him having a little monkey....that he fed with gingerbread... *Shakes head all confuzzled.* Does..that song have a deep meaning?

09:44:28 kittykittykitty: Oh I loooove that song! My Monkey :D That one has a great line: "We are all wicked gods with little 'g's and big dicks" XD I haven't found meaning to that song yet, though. From my fave MM album ^__^

09:48:43 Alphonse Elric: I see!! So you actually like MM? Hmmm...I don't know..He just kinda scares me...I mean, Kyo seems like he's not truely insane from other stuff about him..but I don't know as much abou MM other than he's scary on stage..

10:42:49 kittykittykitty: I like his first albums better. He actually had more to say when he made those, even if they're not as shiney and well-produced as his newer ones. I think he really is a weird guy, but weird is always better than normal in my book ^_^ Lots of visual kei influence I imagine

10:44:00 Alphonse Elric: Hmmm......I can't start likin' him though..Cus my madre would freak out on me! Yes she would!

10:59:41 kittykittykitty: Oh noes!! :( Can't you just tell her it's somebody else you're listening to? Or listen through some earphones?

11:01:04 Alphonse Elric: I'd....prolly...tell her anyways. I always tell my parents stuff...Im a stupid child.heh

12:51:17 kittykittykitty: It's OK *petpet* They'll get used to it eventually and allow you to make your own decisions :)

20:29:40 Alphonse Elric: Yea right! They still haven't gotten used ta me liking Dir En Grey...

20:58:17 kittykittykitty: My parents have their minds closed all the time. They won't even listen before they condemn my music as horrible. Not that I want them to like it, but they don't even listen...

21:03:42 Alphonse Elric: ...Yea...It's really quite upsetting right? My mother sees them as plain disgusting. She said that they have to be the scum of the earth to be on tour with Korn..

21:08:33 lucifer's fallen angel: aww that is soooooo not nice to say!!!!

21:13:29 Alphonse Elric: I knooow! An mah dad just gets irritated whenever I try to talk to him about them....

22:35:36 kittykittykitty: So stop trying to tell him ;) I know the feeling: if your mother listened to them, read their lyric translations, watched the videos she would have ground to stand on when she calls them didgusting, and it wouldn't matter so much :) One time, I borrowed a friend's Greenday CD. My Dad heard it briefly and made some comment about it being not nice music to listen to. A few days later, I heard Greenday come on the radio and he sat there and listened to the whole song as if he was enjoying it, just because it was on the radio station that he likes

22:36:32 kittykittykitty: It bugs me soooo much. I like to have an open mind toward everything, and base my opinions on what I actually experience, rather than some predetermined train of thought

00:47:09 lucifer's fallen angel: yeah i told my mom today that i was going to start dressing visual kei fro school this year and she totally fliped out. on all my jrock pics she sits there and says transvestite again and agian and every thing i show here she says is ugly and im not walking out of the house cause the way i dress reflects how my parents raised me...bullshit i think

01:18:05 kittykittykitty: Hahaha. Yeah, that's dumb. Go out looking how the hell you want to look, regardless of what they say :) You need a cache of good comebacks for those situations. Stuff like: "restricting my actions is a much bigger sign of bad parenting than allowing me to express myself" .... or something :P Attack can be the best form of defence



 I just had to. ^_^ this is Awesome

I'm a pervert. >_>

An anonymous reader writes "Good news for those who like both coffee
and alcohol. In a recent study of more than 125,000 people an Oakland,
CA medical team found that consuming coffee seems to help [1]protect
against alcoholic cirrhosis. The study was done based on people
enrolled in a private northern California health care plan between
1978 and 1985." From the article: "People drinking one cup of coffee
per day were, on average, 20% less likely to develop alcoholic
cirrhosis. For people drinking two or three cups the reduction was
40%, and for those drinking four or more cups of coffee a day the
reduction in risk was 80%."


taken from Are you a coffee addict?

so i'm at Viimsi, Estonia now...


i first tried to log onto to et but there were some problems.. 0.o

well anyway. i can't stay here for long.

Just came to let you know that i'm alive.


yep. i'll write more to my et diary when i get back...

Chuck Norris is god oh my... XD

I cleaned my room yesterday. so I thought about taking pictures to have some evidence of it... since i'm bound to mess my room again.. :P so...Enjoy!

My room :D




My dear guitar :D

I'm having some sleeping problems.

I try to get rid of them but it's no good.



I just go to bed at 10 pm, and try to sleep, but then i have lots of thoughts just going through my mind and i can't sleep.
and i try to listen to Nick Cave's Into my arms since it's such a calm song... it used to work, but it doesn't now.


and then i just turn around in my bed for 9 hours....
and then sleep late, and miss school.

that goes on every night. :P

i don't know what to do. *confused*

When I said those words...



*looks down, closes eyes, sighs* I thought I saw a smile.




But I guess not then. Just my imagination. *sighs sadly*

I wish I was a cheerful little seahorse on the bottom of the ocean...

Drowning, I mean...

    Don't tell me truth hurts, little girl
    'Cause it hurts like hell...

So I just kept rolling around in my bed... and just try to fall asleep. But it was useless.
Eventually I managed to fall asleep around 8 am. After trying to fall asleep for the last 9 hours...
And then when I did fall asleep, well... I had another nightmare.
It wasn't a spider dream. But yes, it was a nightmare...
And my hair's all messy again. I need to go take a shower. And then I need to go walk Pete, and then study some history and perhaps play my guitar a bit. since mari's coming here wednesday so i need to practice...

I keep having this dream where Shelob is eating my left foot and then these really really tiny black spiders are eating my left foot.

So I can't sleep.
Hmphh.

*sigh*

I just ate a piece of bread.
I don't know what to do.


I've been repeating Nine Inch Nails' Somewhat damaged song in my head for the past 2 hours... Maybe that's why I can't sleep.


I'll try to go back to sleep then.

So i talked with her. I'm happy about that.
We cleared some things that have been weighing on my mind for the past 2 or more days...


But do I feel better? Not really.
Apperently it's just not the same anymore. And it makes me mad.
But I'll accept it.

But I need to stop being such a brat and just get over this feeling....

Oh and I would like to make a special moment of saying
a big big thank you to [Aes Sedai] for yesterday.

And I would like to apologize to these persons.

Tonight when i was out with pete.. And then that one song came from my disc player and the cold wind kept blowing right to my eyes... And then tears just came rolling from my eyes. that song always makes me cry... and just everything, i just... couldn't bare it any longer.. keeping them inside me... I just started crying...

I don't know what to say.
I'm just... *sigh*



so...

argh. forget what i said.


*leaves, not knowing what to say*