[superego]'s diary

74700  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2006-07-06
Written: (6529 days ago)

Memories... *sighs*

I need to stop thinking about these sort of things..

74698  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2006-07-06
Written: (6529 days ago)

08:43:37 Alphonse Elric: Hmm..it's back..wierd..YEA MARYLIN MANSON SUCKS!!!

08:51:40 kittykittykitty: *pets* There, there Al. MM serves his purpose. He's the scapegoat for the world's problems :)

08:54:15 Alphonse Elric: *Sniffles* ...You've..got a point there..

09:01:12 kittykittykitty: It's so dumb when that happens. I like his music :) He has a song that goes "I'm not a slave to a gun that doesn't exist". Of course, he meant the proverbial, metaphorical gun that represented religion. I take it that he was mocking dependance on guns like he was mocking religion, but I've heard that song used against him claiming he was glorifying usage of guns. Soooooo dumb x_x </rant>

09:03:35 Alphonse Elric: Hmm...The only song I've heard.....of his ...is one about him having a little monkey....that he fed with gingerbread... *Shakes head all confuzzled.* Does..that song have a deep meaning?

09:44:28 kittykittykitty: Oh I loooove that song! My Monkey :D That one has a great line: "We are all wicked gods with little 'g's and big dicks" XD I haven't found meaning to that song yet, though. From my fave MM album ^__^

09:48:43 Alphonse Elric: I see!! So you actually like MM? Hmmm...I don't know..He just kinda scares me...I mean, Kyo seems like he's not truely insane from other stuff about him..but I don't know as much abou MM other than he's scary on stage..

10:42:49 kittykittykitty: I like his first albums better. He actually had more to say when he made those, even if they're not as shiney and well-produced as his newer ones. I think he really is a weird guy, but weird is always better than normal in my book ^_^ Lots of visual kei influence I imagine

10:44:00 Alphonse Elric: Hmmm......I can't start likin' him though..Cus my madre would freak out on me! Yes she would!

10:59:41 kittykittykitty: Oh noes!! :( Can't you just tell her it's somebody else you're listening to? Or listen through some earphones?

11:01:04 Alphonse Elric: I'd....prolly...tell her anyways. I always tell my parents stuff...Im a stupid child.heh

12:51:17 kittykittykitty: It's OK *petpet* They'll get used to it eventually and allow you to make your own decisions :)

20:29:40 Alphonse Elric: Yea right! They still haven't gotten used ta me liking Dir En Grey...

20:58:17 kittykittykitty: My parents have their minds closed all the time. They won't even listen before they condemn my music as horrible. Not that I want them to like it, but they don't even listen...

21:03:42 Alphonse Elric: ...Yea...It's really quite upsetting right? My mother sees them as plain disgusting. She said that they have to be the scum of the earth to be on tour with Korn..

21:08:33 lucifer's fallen angel: aww that is soooooo not nice to say!!!!

21:13:29 Alphonse Elric: I knooow! An mah dad just gets irritated whenever I try to talk to him about them....

22:35:36 kittykittykitty: So stop trying to tell him ;) I know the feeling: if your mother listened to them, read their lyric translations, watched the videos she would have ground to stand on when she calls them didgusting, and it wouldn't matter so much :) One time, I borrowed a friend's Greenday CD. My Dad heard it briefly and made some comment about it being not nice music to listen to. A few days later, I heard Greenday come on the radio and he sat there and listened to the whole song as if he was enjoying it, just because it was on the radio station that he likes

22:36:32 kittykittykitty: It bugs me soooo much. I like to have an open mind toward everything, and base my opinions on what I actually experience, rather than some predetermined train of thought

00:47:09 lucifer's fallen angel: yeah i told my mom today that i was going to start dressing visual kei fro school this year and she totally fliped out. on all my jrock pics she sits there and says transvestite again and agian and every thing i show here she says is ugly and im not walking out of the house cause the way i dress reflects how my parents raised me...bullshit i think

01:18:05 kittykittykitty: Hahaha. Yeah, that's dumb. Go out looking how the hell you want to look, regardless of what they say :) You need a cache of good comebacks for those situations. Stuff like: "restricting my actions is a much bigger sign of bad parenting than allowing me to express myself" .... or something :P Attack can be the best form of defence

 I just had to. ^_^ this is Awesome

72927  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2006-06-24
Written: (6541 days ago)
Next in thread: 73009

I'm a pervert. >_>

72926  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2006-06-24
Written: (6541 days ago)
Next in thread: 72996

An anonymous reader writes "Good news for those who like both coffee
and alcohol. In a recent study of more than 125,000 people an Oakland,
CA medical team found that consuming coffee seems to help [1]protect
against alcoholic cirrhosis. The study was done based on people
enrolled in a private northern California health care plan between
1978 and 1985." From the article: "People drinking one cup of coffee
per day were, on average, 20% less likely to develop alcoholic
cirrhosis. For people drinking two or three cups the reduction was
40%, and for those drinking four or more cups of coffee a day the
reduction in risk was 80%."

taken from Are you a coffee addict?

72759  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-06-23
Written: (6542 days ago)
Next in thread: 72826

so i'm at Viimsi, Estonia now...

i first tried to log onto to et but there were some problems.. 0.o

well anyway. i can't stay here for long.

Just came to let you know that i'm alive.

yep. i'll write more to my et diary when i get back...

71675  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2006-06-14
Written: (6551 days ago)
Next in thread: 71743, 73949

Chuck Norris is god oh my... XD

68862  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2006-05-23
Written: (6573 days ago)


62530  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2006-04-04
Written: (6622 days ago)
Next in thread: 65532

I cleaned my room yesterday. so I thought about taking pictures to have some evidence of it... since i'm bound to mess my room again.. :P so...Enjoy!

My room :D

My dear guitar :D

60998  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2006-03-25
Written: (6632 days ago)
Next in thread: 61006

I'm having some sleeping problems.

I try to get rid of them but it's no good.

I just go to bed at 10 pm, and try to sleep, but then i have lots of thoughts just going through my mind and i can't sleep.
and i try to listen to Nick Cave's Into my arms since it's such a calm song... it used to work, but it doesn't now.

and then i just turn around in my bed for 9 hours....
and then sleep late, and miss school.

that goes on every night. :P

i don't know what to do. *confused*

60291  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2006-03-20
Written: (6637 days ago)

When I said those words...

*looks down, closes eyes, sighs* I thought I saw a smile.

But I guess not then. Just my imagination. *sighs sadly*

60290  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2006-03-20
Written: (6637 days ago)

I wish I was a cheerful little seahorse on the bottom of the ocean...

Drowning, I mean...

60225  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2006-03-20
Written: (6637 days ago)

    Don't tell me truth hurts, little girl
    'Cause it hurts like hell...


                                          -  Jareth the Goblin King, Labyrinth

60211  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2006-03-20
Written: (6637 days ago)

So I just kept rolling around in my bed... and just try to fall asleep. But it was useless.
Eventually I managed to fall asleep around 8 am. After trying to fall asleep for the last 9 hours...
And then when I did fall asleep, well... I had another nightmare.
It wasn't a spider dream. But yes, it was a nightmare...
And my hair's all messy again. I need to go take a shower. And then I need to go walk Pete, and then study some history and perhaps play my guitar a bit. since mari's coming here wednesday so i need to practice...

60143  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2006-03-19
Written: (6638 days ago)

I keep having this dream where Shelob is eating my left foot and then these really really tiny black spiders are eating my left foot.

So I can't sleep.


I just ate a piece of bread.
I don't know what to do.

I've been repeating Nine Inch Nails' Somewhat damaged song in my head for the past 2 hours... Maybe that's why I can't sleep.

I'll try to go back to sleep then.

Update edit:
few minutes later...


No difference.

59981  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2006-03-18
Written: (6639 days ago)
Next in thread: 60003, 60009

So i talked with her. I'm happy about that.
We cleared some things that have been weighing on my mind for the past 2 or more days...

But do I feel better? Not really.
Apperently it's just not the same anymore. And it makes me mad.
But I'll accept it.

But I need to stop being such a brat and just get over this feeling....

And I need to balance my life, somewhat... With school and everything.
Random kicks in my butt are more than welcome!

Oh and I would like to make a special moment of saying
a big big thank you to [Aes Sedai] for yesterday.

I don't know what i'd have done if I hadn't had someone like you to talk to last night. It really meant a lot to me. So thank you.
Even though you were depressed too, still I told you my own baggage. I'm sorry about that. Even though you said I have no reason to be sorry about. But I think the whole "I'll go drown myself in the shower" was a little too much for me to say to you. I'm sorry if I scared you. I just wrote what I felt like wanting to do... that was all.
In return, I'll help you get rid of YOUR depression and try to be the best friend that's possible.

And I look forward reading your story.

And I would like to apologize to these persons.

[stephie k] I'm sorry if I've taken a lot of time to read your story. When i said I loved it, I meant it. Still, I have delayed reading it to the end for some reason. I will read it. And thank you for even letting me read it, and thank you for even the chance you gave to me, yet I have acted wrongly. I'm sorry.

[00000000000] I'm sorry I've been such an idiot. You've been an excellent friend and I just let my mouth go wild... and babble about everything. Yet you stay and listen. You have no idea how much that means to me.

[Panda-monium] I'm sorry for everything.

[Xxlove_alonexX] Oh how I wish that you were here right now. You always know what to say to cheer me up.
*sigh* well i'll wait...

[Shatureel] I'm sorry I haven't told you everything that I have wanted to tell you. But I will update you on everything the next time we talk.

[DRACE] I'm sorry I was such an idiot. I just ended our relation, and then blocked you. I was on a bad mood and then you were being not the most nicest person. I really meant it when I said that I do wait for you to come online... and then you sent me that certain message, and I just reacted. I know I shouldn't have, but you should've known by now how I feel about those things...

[RIFT KEEPER] yep, those "I want to fuck you hard" messages of yours really made me mad. And I just got sick of them. If you think it was wrong of me to react like that, I'm sorry. But you should know that I feel negative about those sort of things... and I had already warned you about not doing it again. So... I reacted. Maybe rudely, but I'm sorry anyway.

And finally, I would like to apologize for everyone I have acted badly towards... I know I can't possibly name you all. I have been acting unlike me and I promise to make it up to you all. You've all supported me... yet what have I done to repay that kindness? Nothing. I've kept on being an idiot. And I know you dislike me calling myself idiotic, but it is the best and the only word that can truely even descibe how I feel. I don't know any other word to define all my thoughts and apologies that I want to say...

And I know that I can't just like that stop myself from not acting this way -because I will- But there's a slight chance that I won't be as bad as I was before...

May you all have a good rest of the night.

                                                  - (still hopefully) your friend Heidi
59854  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2006-03-18
Written: (6639 days ago)
Next in thread:

Tonight when i was out with pete.. And then that one song came from my disc player and the cold wind kept blowing right to my eyes... And then tears just came rolling from my eyes. that song always makes me cry... and just everything, i just... couldn't bare it any longer.. keeping them inside me... I just started crying...

Though my views may be wrong,   
they may even be perverted,   
she will hear me out    
and won't easily be converted    
to my way of thinking.   
In fact she'll often disagree.   
But at the end of it all   
she will understand me.   

59719  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-03-17
Written: (6640 days ago)

I don't know what to say.
I'm just... *sigh*


argh. forget what i said.

*leaves, not knowing what to say*

59707  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-03-17
Written: (6640 days ago)

I had a weird dream. I guess it was a nightmare.
I don't remember much from it.

it was... sad.
well i only slept for 2 hours so i didn't have that much time to dream.

*stops writing*

59156  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2006-03-15
Written: (6642 days ago)

so it's now 3:21 pm. I just woke up.
I went to bed around 5 or 6 am... I think. You see, I'm not that sure.
I remember talking with Amanda and then going to bed...
I think we talked for like 6 hours.

and my dream was at the beginning something worderful. But at the end it was something weird.

 The logged in version 

News about Elfpack
Help - How does Elfpack work?

Get $10 worth of Bitcoin/Ethereum for free (you have to buy cryptos for $100 to get it) and support Elfpack!