[plethora of dreams]'s diary

96132  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2007-03-08
Written: (4612 days ago)

Is to love to yearn?
I have felt that before
Is to love to need?
I have needed before
And yet here I am, alone in my wilderness
Will no one ever come to truly love me?

95767  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2007-03-03
Written: (4617 days ago)

I believe I've been tamed by the Little Prince, and even by the Pilot also. I just reread the book for the first time in almost five years and oh....*sigh* It's such a lovely book. Tomorrow, if I feel like it, I'll return with the book and share some of the quotes, none of the least of which are a few of my favorites...:

"One day I saw the sun set forty-four times!" And a little later you added, "You know, when you're feeling very sad sunsets are wonderful.."

"On the day of the forty-four times, were you feeling very sad?"

But the little prince didn't answer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You risk tears if you let yourself be tamed

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"It's the same as for the flower. If you love a flower that lives on a star, then it's good, at night, to look up at the sky. All the stars are blossoming."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Everyone is consoled eventually.

95512  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2007-02-27
Written: (4621 days ago)

Hic incepit pestis "Here begins the plague"

94911  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2007-02-17
Written: (4631 days ago)

Blue October- X Amount of Words

Relapse
Prevent trigger intent
Now drown
High strung
Say X amount of words

You're solar, bipolar
Panic disorder
Seems harder and harder and harder
Still you try to control it

You mold, you mold
Yeah you shape to mold
Oh you're bold you're bold
But your shape is bold

You're a symptom superficial
To what they call knowing you
Minus the speed,
Could you imagine the phobia?

Your brain is faulty wiring
the reason for tiring
Keep treating the curse,
Imagine the worst
Systematic, sympathetic
Quite pathetic, apologetic, paramedic
Your heart is prosthetic

A plate of quite peculiar
On a dish of my own
A tablespoon of feather
tickle me to the bone
Give me recipes for happy
with the chemicals gone
Drinking freedom from a bottle
to the tune of belong

I'm sick of shaking
never waking
from the hell I achieve
I never knew you till you left me
with the crying disease

Another curing, reassuring
way to buckle the knees
So mistreated, I repeated
Never blessing your sneeze

Now deleted and defeated
I will stand on my own
Yeah your memory that punches me
has broken the bone

Give me recipes for sorry
I'm admitting I'm wrong
Still your memory that punches me
has broken the bone

94477  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2007-02-14
Written: (4634 days ago)

I hate who I am
I hate myself
Why can't you?

93973  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2007-02-06
Written: (4642 days ago)

I'll save it all for nightfall
the tears, the pain, the hurt
You walked out that door and you took it all
leaving me wondering what I'm worth

If I could write music, blood would be my ink
If I could write poetry I'd try not to think
This song, is for you dear mother
Because this hurt right now is like no other
And I'm mourning you, and you're not dead
and it's wrong that it's like this instead

93968  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2007-02-06
Written: (4642 days ago)

More angry red glaring up from pale flesh
more blood...this time, with a scent almost edible.
Bigger risks now, for bigger injuries
And yes, she was worth it

93553  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2007-01-31
Written: (4648 days ago)

So I've found a way to solve world peace. I've figured out that the entire human race would be at peace with one another, if only a bunch of aliens came and attacked us. Then we'd ban together and fight as one, and it'd be us against them and there'd be no more of this racial, political turmoil that we see now. I hear some people believe that we've communicated with aliens before, in ancient times, and if you translate the messages that they leave in the sand it's a reply to one we sent out. Which led me to this idea...

Interstellar Messaging! as provided by your local Yahoo carrier.

Us: (3 thousand years ago) Hey, what's up? ASL? I'm 14/f/Fl

Them:(3 thousand years later, which is about now) Oh. Sorry, AFK. I'm 15/m/Mars. What's Florida like?

years go by...and we never respond...

Them: BUZZ! Are you there? Hello? BUZZ!

more time passes...

Them: Hellooooo is anybody out there? Want to cyber? hehe.

A century flies by...

Them: That's it! You're being rude! Now I'm going to put you on ignore and tell all my friends to block you! *chain messages his friends that if you want to be cool, don't talk to the Earthlings. Immediately everyone puts them on the ignore list*

Us:...What's going on? Hello? Anyone? *sees their message* Crap.

a few more years later...

Us: *has changed screen names to Omicrons* Hey, what's up? We're from Omicron perceide 8, how ya doin'?

Them: Hey, what's up? This noobie called Earthlings is way uncool, put her on your blocked list.

Us: WTF?! That's way uncool, man. I mean, what did we do?

Them: What? Oh crap! *blocks*

Us: The user you are talking to has blocked you....crap

Us: Now what?

Earthlings 2: Now we go download some alien porn and jackoff in their faces.

The End. XD

92877  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2007-01-20
Written: (4659 days ago)

*sigh* Another loss. I hate myself for the things I so easily let go. My reluctance, why can't I for once just have something and enjoy it? I'm too easily influenced, and by influenced I mean hurt, by myself...my peers...my everything. Technically, I should be insane right now. I do hate myself...like nothing else on this earth, Why can't people see that? See that and stay away, before they've gotten close enough to cut me with their contact. I do after all have very fragile skin. I wish someone would save me from myself but I'm afraid to let anyone near enough for that. I hurt, and there's nothing your absence will eer do to cure it.

92819  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2007-01-19
Written: (4660 days ago)

Sometimes I feel that you are laughing at me
Sometimes I fear you laugh sadly
Is every breath you draw for me?
Master or slave, which would you be?

92816  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2007-01-19
Written: (4660 days ago)

I think the time is coming...that I shall slowly detach myself from the internet. I don't know that I belong here anymore, or that I'm even wanted. Now if only I could find the courage...

91971  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2007-01-09
Written: (4669 days ago)

Don't ask of me
What you do not know
Don't ask of me
So unaware
To reveal my secrets
one by one
til you're finished and
I've come undone
Don't ask of me
and well beware
You don't know my darkness
Or what's hidden there

91970  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2007-01-09
Written: (4669 days ago)

I'll never meet my match, a mirror to mirror reflection.
My heart is there but it beats so slow it gives off no detection.
Fine, then dig in your hands as deep as you please
But don't blame me when you finally learn that I'm naught but dust upon the breeze

49141  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-01-06
Written: (5038 days ago)

Alice Cooper
This House Is Haunted


I was sitting in my room, dark and gray and crying
Someone in my life I fear was at the point of dying
A cold wind blew right up my spine, it was the break of dawn
A little voice went deep inside told me she was gone

Oh...This house is haunted
Oh...That's how I want it to be
Oh...This house is haunted
You can always stay here with me...

No more singing, no more laughing, no more sunny days
She left and took the colors with her, buried in her grave
This is where we climbed the tower, this is where she fell
Then when her young heart stopped beating, I went to hell

Oh...This house is haunted
Oh...Ha....
Oh...This house is haunted
Ho...Oh...

You float through the living room, I watch my TV
I feel you sit down on the couch right here next to me
Then I feel your lips touch mine just like we used to do
I'm so happy all alone being here with you...



49140  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-01-06
Written: (5038 days ago)

I love my family. One day me and my younger brother and sisters were sitting around just giggling about how the bubbles woul pop on the sofa and how pretty they looked in the sunlight, like glittering explosions and for some reason we all found it funny when my dad walks in, sees us, shakes his head smiling and heads to his room. My sister follows him and comes back saying "Daddy says we're all fat special children." And I automatically say "No, we're especially fat children" and we all laugh at that. Then I go into his room and he's about to leave and I say "Where you going" and he says "I'm running away from you guys" and so I say "Fine, but we're coming with you." and then we laughed at that. The afternoon proceeded like that all through getting into the car (we had to go around to get Jenna) the car dealership, and then me getting two teeth pulled out. A family that can keep you laughing through all that is surely worth something, no?

45899  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2005-12-14
Written: (5061 days ago)

"Dance, Dance"

She says she's no good with words but I'm worse
Barely stuttered out
"A joke of a romantic" or stuck to my tongue
Weighed down with words too over-dramatic
Tonight it's "it can't get much worse"
Vs. "no one should ever feel like.."

I'm two quarters and a heart down
And I don't want to forget how your voice sounds
These words are all I have so I'll write them
So you need them just to get by

Dance, Dance
We're falling apart to half time
Dance, Dance
And these are the lives you'd love to lead
Dance, this is the way they'd love
If they knew how misery loved me

You always fold just before you're found out
Drink up its last call
Last resort
But only the first mistake and I...

I'm two quarters and a heart down
And I don't want to forget how your voice sounds
These words are all I have so I'll write them
So you need them just to get by

Why don't you show me the little bit of spine
You've been saving for his mattress, love

Dance, Dance
We're falling apart to half time
Dance, Dance
And these are the lives you'd love to lead
Dance, this is the way they'd love
If they knew how misery loved me

Why don't you show me the little bit of spine
You've been saving for his mattress (mattress, mattress)
I only want sympathy in the form of you crawling into bed with me

Dance, Dance
We're falling apart to half time
Dance, Dance
And these are the lives you'd love to lead

Dance this is the way they'd love (way they'd love)
Dance this is the way they'd love (way they'd love)
Dance this is the way they'd love
If they knew how misery loved me

Dance, Dance
Dance, Dance
Dance, Dance
Dance, Dance

42791  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-11-19
Written: (5086 days ago)

With the venemous kiss you gave me I'm killing loneliness

Napolean XIV they're coming to take me away haha
http://www.gaiaonline.com/gaia/redirect.php?r=http://blogfiles.wfmu.org%2FKF%2F0509%2Fnap%2F01_-_Napoleon_XIV_-_Theyre_coming_to_take_me_away_ha-haaa.mp3

41109  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-11-05
Written: (5100 days ago)

Your Master is everything, he is your life, your dream, what you need and want. You obey him, and ONLY him, unless told otherwise. When you are spoken to, look to your Master, when questioned, look to your Master, when addressed in any way, verbal or otherwise, look to your Master. When going into public with your Master, keep your eyes on him at all times, noone is more important than your Master, not even yourself. Never resist your Master, or immediate punishment will ensue. Never protest or question your Master, trust that he will take care of you. He knows best.


A slave does not think. A slave lives only to please her master, should he be displeased in any way he has the right to dispose of her. A slave should only be seen if her Master wishes her for that purpose. A slave should never speak, unless commanded to by her Master. She shall not complain, and will appreciate how well her Master takes care of her. The actions of the slave reflect upon the Master, and so punishment for any embarassments a slave may have caused her Master is appropriate.


A slave is made when a powerful vampire, werewolf, or witch gains possession of a mortal, shape shifter, elf, or low level vampire, witch, or werewolf. They must be defeated first in combat, and kept free of as much permanent damage as possible, otherwise value decreases. Creatures within high power of their society are forbidden, human or otherwise, go against this rule and you will have the Clans after you.


Trainers are for those who can't quite manage their slaves. If a master has an unruly slave he can send her to a trainer for a fee, decided by the trainer. Trainers are mind readers and also skilled in the arts of torture. Pay will be deducted for any permanent mental or physical damage caused while under the Trainer's care. When a slave is with a Trainer then the Trainer is her new master. She is to obey all his commands once her contract of enthrallment has been drawn and signed by her Master. Not much is known about their techniques, but they are known to be effective and quick.


Now that you have read these descriptions, welcome to Thorn Heart Manor, where the ties of ownership are lost in our knots of thorns...do as you will, but beware, we are not liable for your safety. Take what you can handle, and leave it at that.


37173  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2005-09-27
Written: (5139 days ago)

im tired but im sick of sleeping, if i go to bed ill hurt instead of the way i do while thinking so if you give me one pill i ask for 69 more, cause thats what it takes for the kind of rest im looking for

34766  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2005-08-31
Written: (5166 days ago)

"ohana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind but if you want, you can go. i'll remember you though, i remember everyone that leaves."

"god made all of us, and he doesnt make mistakes."
from the movie door to door

33707  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-08-20
Written: (5177 days ago)

shadows flitting screening covering im found lost and scared and often in tears and thats when the doors banged wide open leaving me in pure destruction momentary pleasure ceases ever lasting lover pieces keeping me from faint reality keeping me in dim cordiality bury me just one foot deeper write me a kerchief keeper and shed it gently that shimmering tear above my grave cause ill wait for you here

 The logged in version 

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