[Evil Ducky]'s diary
for those of you wanting to know
I'm probably actually going to end it
my life my problems EVERYTHING
I can't take it
I got raped over the weekend and didn't tell anyone
I might be pregnant
I told my bf because I want to stay true to him
I told him now he broke up with me and had this other girl say stuff like he loves HER not ME and shit like that
well I'm done
FINISHED
I'm tired of all the shit so many people give me
he was the only to keep me here
I would do ANYTHING for him
I would gladly take as many bullets and more
I would rather be stabbed a gazillion times before I'd break up with him
I love him so so much
and now he's gone I have nothing left
[not more 2007]
I hope you're damn well happy
If you ever regret doing this and you ever want ME back
remember it's your fault you can't
SOOOOOO this has been a week and a half since I've been taking my medication
friends been telling me I seem easily pissed more and more quiet
1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex on a piece of paper.
2. Which color is your favorite out of red, black, blue, green and yellow?
3. Your first initial
4. Your month of birth
5. Which color do you like most? Black or white?
6. Name of a person of the same gender as you.
7. Do you like California or Florida more?
8. Do you like the lake or the ocean more?
9. Write down a realistic wish.
ARE YOU DONE? IF SO, SCROLL DOWN..
.....
.......
..........
.............
..............
..............
..............
..............
..............
..............
..............
..............
..............
..............
..............
..............
..............
..............
..............
..............
..............
..............
........
.....
THE ANSWERS
1. You are completely in love with this person
2. If you choose: RED - You are alert and your life is full of love. BLACK - You are conservative and aggressive GREEN - Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back BLUE - You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the one you love YELLOW - You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are down
3. If your initial is: A-K - You have a lot of love and friendship in your life L-R - You try to enjoy life to the maximum and your love life is soon to blossom S-Z - You like to help others and your future love life looks very good
4. If you were born in: JAN.-MAR. - The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected APR.-JUNE - You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but with memories that will last forever JULY-SEPT. - You will have a great year and experience a major life changing experience for the good OCT.-DEC. - Your love life will not be too great, but eventually, you will find your soul mate
5. If you chose: BLACK - Your life will take on a different direction, it will seem hard for you at the time but it will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change. WHITE - You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do anything for you, but you may not realize it.
6. This person is your best friend.
7. If you chose: CALIFORNIA - You like adventure FLORIDA - You are laid back
8. If you chose: LAKE - You are loyal to your friends and your love. And you are very reserved. OCEAN - You are spontaneous and like to please people.
9. This wish will only come true if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN on your house within the next hour and it will come true before your next birthday!!!!!!
@$#^*)%%^*(&*)%*##$%&$*$&(#$^*(_)+$@$%^*#$%*(#%
Since I can't explain what I'm feeling in words there you go.
Written about Tuesday 2006-11-28
Written: (6569 days ago)
In the Papers
15-year-old found dead of gunshot wound
The body of a 15-year-old boy was discovered in an alley in the 3900 block of Ambler Avenue Sunday Afternoon. The boy died of an apparent self-inflicted gunshot wound, police said.
The teenagers body was found when a neighbor entered the alley to put his trash in one of the bins there. Abilene Police dispatchers recieved the call shrotly before noon.
The boys name was not available Sunday.
Yellow police tape secured the area Sunday afternoon while investigators combed the scene. About a dozen people gathered near the site.
Abilene Police Department Detective David Atkins said he suspects the gunshot wound was self-inflicted
"He had talked about killing himself before," said the victim's 15-year-old friend, who did not wast to be identified. "I didn't think he was actually going to do it."
The Abilene High School freshman was pronounced dead by Precint 2 Justice of the Peace Ronny Doan at about 2:12 p.m.
Angel Navarrette said he and his wife, Sara, have lived across the street for more than 20 years. He said they never have witnessed such a trgedy in that area.
"When I saw him, he had his right hand over his heart," he said. "And you could see that's where he was shot ... in the heart area."
Navarrette said the teenager's body was discovered lying face up, but he didn't see a gun anywhere arounf.
The victim's friends said the boy did not live in the neighborhood.
All I know is that my friend Chantelle posted this up and I asked her what happened. She told me that He was shot in the heart and was found in the alley. Some people think that he was shot by someone else and had threw his body in the alley. And others say it was suicide but there was not gun found. One thing I don't understand is why everyone is dying.
2 Abilenians killed in wreck near Lampasas
By LLuvia MaresTwo Abilene residents died Sunday evening after the car they were traveling in Collided head on with another vehicle north of Lampasas.
Ricky Anthony Rodriguez, 36, was traveling north on U.S. 183 when a southbound vehicle driven by Micheal Burke, 19, of Georgetown, veered into Rodriguez's lane.
The Vehicles collided about 6 p.m. Sunday three miles from North Lampasas.
A department of Transportation dispatcher in Waco said Rodriguez and his 14-year-old step daughter, Justeen Rodriguez, were Pronounced dead at the scene by Lampasas Justice of Peace Francis Porter.
Rodriguez's wife Patricia Monreal, 36, and their other daughter, 5-year-old Jillian, were taken to hospitals.
Burke was taken to a hospital in Temple with serious injuries.
DPS Trooper Shannon Simpson said investigators do not know yet whether alcohol was a factor in the accident.
"We are just waiting for the(toxicolgy) results to come back to see what's going to happen next," he said
Death Notices
Ricky Rodriguez
Ricky Rodriguez, 36, died Sunday, November 5, 2006. Services are pending with Abilene Funeral Home.
Justeen Marie Smith
Justeen Marie Smith, 14, died Sunday, November 5, 2006. Services are pending with Abilene Funeral Home.
Justeen Smith
October 29 1992 to November 5 2006
Today at school In first period everyone was happy and joyful like there was no more troubles
Mrs. Rainy (our principal) came in and she started talking
She said that she has worked both as a teacher and Principal for 22 years and she has never come upon this.
She told us to brace ourselves and told us that Justeen died in a car wreck on her way home from Austin Texas.
She died and so did her step dad, Her mom and step sister are still alive but her mom had to get surgery and has no clue that Justeen is dead. I miss her and I wish I could've seen her one more time to tell her how much of a great friend she was to me and everyone else.
Justeen Marie Smith... You will be missed
Hey peoples I'm doing an essay on endangered tigers tell me what you think and I'm free to any suggestions to make better
Siberian (Amurian) Tiger - Panthera Tigris Altaic a
Status: Endangered
Tigers, like most cats are solitary, however, they are not anti-social. Males not only come together with females for breeding, but will feed with or rest with females and cubs. There have actually been reports of some tigers socializing and traveling in groups. Females with cubs have also been seen coming together to share meals. Most likely, in all of these cases they are somehow related. Males will kill cubs from other males, so it is likely that the offspring in question is his own. The females most likely are mother and daughter with overlapping home ranges
The decline in the number of tigers caused concern in the late 20th century. Gradually all countries took measures to protect the animal. India, which holds half the world population of tigers, declared the tiger as the national animal and launched "Project Tiger" in 1973. Under the program, selected tiger reserves receive special conservation efforts. Nepal, Malaysia, Indonesia, Thailand, Cambodia, and Vietnam have set up national parks and sanctuaries where the animal is protected. China is also giving special attention to the conservation of tigers, as is Russia
How rare is this cat ? The largest wild population of tigers are in India. According to statistics released in 2004 there are 1576 tigers left on 27 wildlife reserves in 11 states in India. Tigers are no longer "burning bright" in our world's most famous tiger preserves. Tiger numbers in the wild are thought to have plunged from 100,000 at the beginning of the 20th century to between 5000 and 7000 in 2001 and less than 1000 today. A century ago, India had some 40,000 tigers. Now, officials estimate they number about 3700, although some environment groups put the number at less than 2000. The Bali, Javan, and Caspian subspecies, have become extinct in the past 70 years. The South China tiger is on the verge of extinction, with just 20 to 30 remaining in the wild.
Tigers are still widely hunted throughout its range for sport, for the fur trade, and for the traditional Asian medicine market. For the medicine trade - no part of the Tiger's body goes unused. The tiger is one of the best known mammals, and has become a symbol everywhere for conservation. Today, sadly, there are more tigers in captivity then exist in the wild. There are only 500 Siberian tigers left in the wild and less than 400 Sumatran Tigers as of 2006. There are more than 15,000 in cages and 90% of them are in miserable roadside zoos, backyard breeder facilities, circus wagons and pet homes.
Most captive tigers of any color do not participate in any organized conservation-b
Everyone knows this is me
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.
FRIENDS: Calls your parents by Mr. and Mrs.
BEST FRIENDS: Calls your parents DAD and MOM
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin
"We fucked up ... but that shit was fun!"
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your shit and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME!"
FRIENDS: Are only through highschool.
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.
FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Bitch drink the rest of that you know we don't waste."
FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter
BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this shit
**Send this to everyone you consider a BEST friend, including the person who sent it to you. If you get this, it means you are my best friend**
Written about Friday 2006-07-14
Written: (6706 days ago)
girl meets a boy on her yahoo messenger.
crazy1 86:hey baby!!!
h0tNsPiCy91: who is this???
crazy1 86:ur secret admirer!!!!!
h0tNsPiCy91: o really.... quite lyin! who is this???
crazy1 86:i loved u the first time a stared in your eyes...
crazy1 86:i think about u everyday... you are my dream come true.
crazy1 86: we met once! i dont think u remember tho.
crazy1 86: i cut myself because the pain takes away my feelings of u.
crazy1 86: tonight u will see me some time tonight....
h0tNsPiCy91: ..WHO IS THIS!?!?!?
crazy1 86:dont worry.... ill take very good care of you...
crazy1 86 had signed off.
the girl was so scared she locked all her doors and windows. She made sure her room was secured. She was so scared if it was a joke or for real. She didnt know when he was going to come. The girl was frighten so she decided to sleep with her little sister. The girl dozed off quickly.
Then she heard a knock on the window. The girl slowly walked to the window. It started knocking louder. The girl looked through the windows and saw nothing... just some of the tree branches. The girl went back to bed with her sister. The bed was wet and a pretty smells horrid. Maybe her sister wet the bed... the girl checked and found blood everywhere. the girl panicked. She didn't know what to do. She ran and hid in the closet in case the guy was there for her. While looking through the cracks of the closet the girl saw a shadow. It was dark so she couldnt figure out who it was. She started to get more frighten. The man crept closer to the closet. The girl closed her eyes as if it was a dream. Then suddenly he open the closet door and pulled her out. Her parents found her dead. She was skinned all the way and was hanged in her sisters closet.
PART 2...
Two years after the the sisters deaths, the her parents got pregnant with a baby boy the girls room became a guest bedroom and the little sisters room where the murder took place became the babys room. The baby grew up to be a secessful kid.
One night he was on the computer and got a instant messege.
h0tNsPiCy91:he
2seXay4u: Who the eff is this?
h0tNsPiCy91: its your big sis.
2seXay4u: I never had a sister. I'm an only child.
2seXay4u: This is some kinda joke, huh?
h0tNsPiCy91: mom and dad never told you?
h0tNsPiCy91: i died 15 years ago with your other older sister.
h0tNsPiCy91:we were murdered in your room which was once my little sisters room. she was killed in bed when i was sleeping and i was killed in the closet and skinned to death.
2seXay4u: quite lying. I never had a sister. if i did my parents would tell me. Whatever. Your stupid.
h0tNsPiCy91: you dont believe me? well if you wanna look in your closet floor.
h0tNsPiCy91: i carved my name, time and date i was being murdered. then i carved my little sister name.
h0tNsPiCy91: if you dont believe me little brother check the internet. type in ''smith sisters murdered anonymously''.
h0tNsPiCy91: i gtg little brother. i love you. and mom and dad soo much. i cant believe they kept us a secret from you. they should burn in hell.
the boy checked the closet. he saw the carvings. was it true? he surfed the internet and everything was their about the anonymous murder in the house. the next morning the boy went downstairs. it was so queit. maybe mom and dad was sleeping.. hours later the boy found his parents in their closets skinned and hanged. then he found more carvings on the ground. it says '' I TOLD YOU I WASNT LYING. LITTLE BROTHER, I LOVED MOM AND DAD.... BUT THEY KEPT ME A SECRET. I CANT BELIVE IT. WELL IM FREE FROM THIS COLD WORLD. I WONT HURT YOU LIKE HOW THEY DIED. I LOVE YOU!
- LISA SMITH ''
this is a death chain. if you dont repost this in the next hour the parents will kill you at night. they will kill you
DONT BELEIVE ME? LOOK IT UP N GOOGLE
LOAD
It's ok I know what you mean THANKS a lot for listening.
TTYL
BBye
--------------
From: __Mr.A__
Date: Jul 12, 2006 8:21 PM
Hey, yeah i sorta saw that tonight and i didnt know how to addrress it. I'm sorry if I helped in any part of the her not talking to you thing. But yeah, she knows I'm here for her and that i care about her so much. But yeah, don't worry about it next time, know that u can talk to me. Laterrs
--------------
From: xXEvil_DuckyXx
Date: Jul 12, 2006 10:14 PM
Um ok sorry if you don't understand what I say but I'm sorta confused on how to say it.
Um Ever since Autumn has been bf gf with you. She won't listen. You guys talk and then when I try to talk to her, she'll listen for about 5 seconds then turn to you and start talking with you again.
(oh and I'm not trying to pull you guys apart or anything)
Anyways, when I do get to talk to her when you're not around, I understand her having problems, but she keeps going on about it, I can't help her, I really want to but I can't, and when she's not talking about problems and Dying and stuff like that, She talks about you and never stops.
I tell her that if she wants someone to talk to that she should talk to you because that's hat bf's and gf's are for. Right??? But she complains about that she never sees you. I tell her to call you but she said she can't and for me not to ask why.
All of this I don't want you to tell her I said this, but all I ask of you is if you talk to her, tell her you're always there and if she wants to talk to just messege you on here or where ever else. You know??? First comes family, then comes the ones their in love with, last comes friends.
Since she can't go to her family she has to go to you.
--------------
From: __Mr.A__
Date: Jul 12, 2006 8:05 PM
Yeah, u can talk to me
--------------
From: xXEvil_DuckyXx
Date: Jul 12, 2006 10:03 PM
I need to talk to you about something about Autumn
it's nothing bad about her it's just she sorta changed.
I want to know if I can talk to you about it without telling her
WHAT IS GOTH???
From: http://www.got
This is probably the hardest question any goth could try and answer, one may as well ask 'what is society?' as it has so many facets it defies any definitive explanation.
Goth in its simplest form, is a subculture. A group of people who feel comfortable within each others company. There is no specific thing that defines what you need to do or be to fit into the goth scene (except of course the implied black clothing). People in the goth scene all have different musical tastes, follow different religions, have different occupations, hobbies, and fashion sense.
Why do people become goths?
Most goths become goths because they have been spurned by 'normal' society because the way they want to live their lives does not fit in with how most people are told to live theirs. Goths are free thinkers, people who do not accept the moral rules of society because they're told 'This is just how it is' or 'This is what God says!'. Rather goths tend to listen to what you have to say, and make up their own mind. This kind of free thinking and rejection of dogma earns only rejection in todays society.
However because of this rejection from 'normal' society, goths have banded together to associate with other free thinkers. This has a beneficial effect on both the individual and society as a whole. For the individual they have a sense of belonging, and friends they can associate with. For society it removes one more misfit filled with rage from society's streets.
This of course is not the case for all goths. Many goths today are goths for a variety of other reasons. They like the music, or the clubs are better, they have goth friends and joined in with them, or they just like staying up late nights and goths are the only ones awake to talk to.
The gothic stereotype
Many stereotypes of goths exist these days. It seems everyone has their own way to define 'what is goth'. From the stereotypes based on clothing to music right up to the stereotypes of all goths being satanists or part of some kind of cult. Categorically, all of these are false.
The goth scene is just as widely varied as society in general. There are many different professions represented in the scene, from highly skilled professionals like doctors and lawyers, to tradesman, to technically minded people to clerical workers. Many different musical tastes exist (and not all of them goth, there is a HUGE 80's following in the goth scene for some reason). The fashion varies vastly from goth to goth from the traditional flowing victorian style garments to the buckled and studded style regalia (also called industrial style, which is often closely related with goths, and have come to an understanding of co-existance, if uneasily at times).
How do I get into goth?
This is the simplest part of the page. Go check out our Community section over on the left, and use it to find out whats going on in your local area. Goths tend to be accepting and open minded. Just turn up to a club or event wearing all black and your already in the goth scene. You'll pick it up as you go along (just a hint though, lay off the vampire comments!).
The gothic sense of humour is highly developed, and often leans toward the satirical. Quietly laughing at the more idiotic and less tolerant factions of society that seem to think yelling out of cars at us makes them cooler. Goths have learned to laugh at themselves and see society in a much different light. They have had to, and it is a trait most would not give up.
Goths have for the most part (not unanimously of course, but mostly) dropped all forms of prejudice. Noone is afraid within the goth scene to come out as being gay, and noone has to hide their religion for fear of scorn from their peers or zealots wanting to convert them from the arms of Satan. In fact because of these facts (and the general lack of prejudice) the goth scene has a large proportion of gays/bisexuals
But they think weird!
Ah, but this is the beauty of goths. Most subjects that are taboo in 'normal' society are freely discussed and debated about. Death, religion, magick, mysticism, and many other topics that are only roached carefully outside of the gothic community. Most goths have realised that fear is only a reaction instilled in us by dogmatic propaganda, and once you realise there is nothing to fear from the topic, whats to stop you discussing it?
Goths often revel in the fear given to them by society as a whole. Often the behavior exhibited by society to them based on society's perception of them from stereotypes, rumour, etc are a constant source of entertainment. Of course, most of the rumours are totally unfounded, goths are people like everyone else, however when you already have a reputation, going for the shock factor is often far too tempting to see how much society at large is willing to believe (or deduce) with only a little encouragement.
This does not totally fall away once you get inside the scene unfortunately, and goths are all too often tempted to try for the shock factor within the scene (which turns out more tacky than shocking). Goths when you get down to it can be a rather pretentious bunch, trying for those extra 'goth points' on the gothier than thou scale, but it adds to the enjoyment.
History of Goth
Modern goth (ignoring where the name itself originally comes from) started in the early 80's as part of the punk subculture (which is itself was a rejection of most societal values, and anything considered part of the 'norm'). The phrase was coined by the band manager of Joy Division, Anthony H. Wilson, who described the band as 'Gothic compared with the pop mainstream'. The term stuck, and as punk eventually died, Goth survived and became its own subculture. The punk clothing and hairstyles mellowed, and the core 'rejection of society' attitude alone lived on in the gothic subculture. Over time this itself has been modified to be more of a 'no more blind acceptance of society's values' as opposed to rejection because it was there to be rejected (and because you could get away with it!).
Movies such as The Crow, and bands such as the Bauhaus helped establish the gothic image as dark, depressing, and even evil. As more and more 'dark' movies came out, numbers in the gothic subculture expanded, and there is now a gothic community in almost every major city around the world, and quite a number of towns have their own representative contingent. Nowdays there are more goth bands around than ever, and it has turned from an 80's phenomenon into a 90's way of life for many people. Unlike the punk subculture that it spawned from, there even exists a class of mature goths, still following the scene around even past their 20's and into their 30's and beyond.
-- PreZ
Please note that the above is the opinion of the author, and that there is no definitive answer to the question "What is Goth?", so opinions and answers will vary.
© 2000,2001 Preston A. Elder
Written about Tuesday 2006-04-11
Written: (6800 days ago)
Eyes of hatred,
Staring at you from behind the darkness.
People with minds alike,
Minds like the Devil.
Events that happen over and over,
Just to be meant as jokes.
Using my weaknesses against me,
Just to hurt me and make me cry.
A pain that throbs inside,
Impatiently waiting to be let out.
In my room,
I light the candles and the incense,
Turn the lights off and close the shutters,
Play soft music and sit with a bowl and razor.
Slowly inhaling the scented fumes,
Listening to the soft music,
Thinking of what is not to live for,
Cutting and slowly letting the pain out.
Letting the blood flow and turn into drips,
Letting it drip into the bowl,
Watching the flames dance,
And drifting into a long sleep,
Never to be awaken.
Beautiful
How can I show you
that you are beautiful
when you always look the other way
Finding imperfections
with every living breath
feeding yourself deceit
every night as you lie in bed
How can I show you
that you are beautiful
when you see only flaws in the diamond
and not the sparkle that it holds
You judge yourself with consequence
tearing down what nature built
and turning it into darkness cold
How can I show you
that you are beautiful
when you don't look into the mirror
save with tear-streaked eyes
How can you see yourself as I do
when you're peering through a looking glass
warped by doubt and loathing
brewed within your mind
How can I show you
that you are beautiful
when your beauty is just too much
and leaves me lost for words
choking on every thought
while trying to explain something so clear
that it is written all over your face
How can I show you
that you're beautiful
when the world is not enough
and a million voices
fail to change your song
unable to silence
the doubt that beats away
No I can't show you
that you're beautiful
No matter how hard I try
But I'll whisper it to you every night
as you drift off to sleep
and hope that one morning
you'll wake up with eyes wide open
and see yourself as I do
A perfect diamond
A stunning reflection
and a ray of sun
piercing my own darkness
taking the clouds away
This really happened
If you can understnd
(Bloody Tears)
A night alone,
As I walk the streets.
Wondering, About . . .Him
A friend for a day,
And I start to feel for him.
His eyes, so deep and black.
His lips, so soft against mine.
His soul, with me when he's not here.
A tear down my face that
He would happily wipe away,
And tell me that's it's going to be alright.
I love him . . .But does he love me???
No. He does not.
Eleven months of happiness
Almost A Year
Falls to the ground, month by month.
May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December, January, February, all the way to march 21st.
When he said he was in love with another.
Night by night from now on,
In my dreams I will be drowned by the tears he made me cry.
And I will cry so long and hard that I will make it possible to cry tears of blood.
Cry tears of blood for the rest of my life and remember that he was the one that made it possible.
I'm really starting to get sick
a lot of things have happened
I have no more friends at school but I have a lot more enemies
I'm not eating enough and I've lost 23 pounds
My grandma and uncle died and everyone thinks I'm a suck-up for attention and that i don't deserve anything and that I'm a waist of air
and everytime I try to talk to someone about it
they end up saying that I made all this up and that I AM a suck-up for attention
and now things is just getting worse and wosre by the day
*KISSES TO MY BITCHES
HUGS TO MY THUGS*
and if you are not one of my bitches or one of my thugs then
*HUGS AND KISSES TO EVERYONE LEFT OVER*
[If you REALLY LIKE SOMEONE right now AND MISS THEM and can't get them out of your head then re-post this within 1 mintute and whoever you are missing will surprise you.]
uh GRRRRRR
i'm bored
well actually i'm high
but that doesn't matter