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[today is so fucking boring , is raining like hell is been raining since last night , i wish i was 21 to be in a bar drinking and having fun and not stuck in my house doing nothing much chating with people . yey in the other hand am happy cause my b-day is 9 days away and am going to be 18 am so happy ].[Dirty Lil Juggalette][ b-day is 8 days from now she will b 19 yey i hope she has a very good day and that she will have many many many more b-days ]

today is my big sis b-day merlin i lova yah alot , u might think i dont cause we r so far away but our lifes didnt turn out the way we planned , my life is messed up too and i wish that i can change it but i can . i want to wish u the best on this special day , i mean ur 20 today wow thats a big thing

[<3umm today is sunday and it is so boring , and am sick of course . i wish i wasent , i need someone to love me , no one loves me :(. i wish that i will have good friends that will care 4 me and a family that will love me and take me for who i am . the only one that loves me is my mom and my mom .ina way am happy that she cares for me , but there are times when i feel like she dosent cause of the way she treats me . my life is crazy and sometimes i wish i can change it but hey i cant . i need someone to talk to o that will understand me . but there is no one in this earth that will . i cant forget mark , he is in my head but i need to forget him .my life is so conplicated ,lol but there is much more to come and i will get throw it i will .]

[umm am so so sick and at the same time sad , i found out that u cant trust no one and i mean no one , everyone is a back staber . the people that i though were my friends all they do is talk shit about me , and all i have done is to be nice and treat them right and help them out even buying them shit . is just funny that when to of ur friends stop talking how u find out things that will hurt u .eva dammm i never though that she will talk behind mu back and act like nothing is going on , all i have to say to her is that yea i am a dog with clothes and i am like my father is thats wat she thinks .so far the only one that i think that hassent spoke behing my back is ana and her sister ,i really hope that they havent spoke behing my back cause i will really be surprised . umm zazha i found her talking about me with lenett , she was talking about me for something that dosent even have to do with her is not even her bussiness. damm i wish that i will move so far away and there will be no one to hurt me .oh god i wish that i had my old best friends that i use to talk too , they were my bitches and my homies i still love them but am sure they r mad at me . i wish there were things that i did that i can change but that can happend unless i can turn time back . ummm i just wish that my future will get brigther and not darker . ]

i woke up so sick today, i didnt go to school,i cant wait for satrday after i come from school, am going to dyed my hair yey 4 me. ey tom is friday but am sick, i am going to do my hair for tom

umm i know that zazha is mad at me cause she found out that ray likes me and not her . well if he does like me thats his problem cause i dont like him , but zazha likes him and he dosent like her . life is so complicated and confusing lol

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yey i fixed my page it looks so cute , damm its 1:40 am and am still awake and i have to wake up early 4 school lol

<d>umm i have a big fucking headche and there is nothing to do , i will do my ahir later so i cant look cute for school , i want to kill someone </d>

um today is my lil sis b-day she is 6 yey happy birthday baby gurl , i love you . today school was crazy and i had alot of homework 

well its 11:34 pm here , i went to school and i had fun and i hate my second period teacher she gets on my nerves . i got another school id ,i saw some of my others friends that i didnt see the first day of school and they havent been to school , everyone look ok and good , and i cant wait for my b-day to get here, i want it to so bad

~ well its officially sept 14 cause is 12:09am and today is my bitch b-day , i lov u evey , wow i cant believe she is 17 today, yey happy birthday too u , happy birthday to u , happy birthday dear evey happy birthday to u .~

i guess i had fun , i have a cut in my foot n it boders ,am tired a sleepy it's 11:44pm , i woke up a few minutes ago but have to go back to bed cause i have to wake up early forschool

umm its 12:38 am , i have to wake up at 7 or 8 am to get readu for school .i hate school just cause i have to wake up early .but am sure i will have fun at school today with my bitches . i cant wait to start being bad and mean

damm today is sept 11 i remmeber this day like it was yesterday , i was in the 8th grade it was a very sad day my thoughts goes to those who lost their families and friends , may god b with yah . this is a very sad day it really is , but in the other hand yey i got my hair done and its very pretty

BEHIND THESE HAZEL EYES
by Kelly Clarkson


Seems like just yesterday
You were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight
Everything, it felt so right
Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong
Now I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on



Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes



I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright
For once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
Sewn together, but so broken up inside
'Cause I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hangin' on



Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes



Swallow me then spit me out
For hating you, I blame myself
Seeing you it kills me now
No, I don't cry on the outside
Anymore...



Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes



Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
i really like this song cause it talk about how i feel and i just hope that some day my heart will be fixed

umm am going to my grandmad house i got a new friends and am happy cause i gave her advice [Lips Of Deceit]. am gonna wear my dont judje me based on ur ignorance tee yey

yey i didnt go to school today and i woke up at 3:30 pm damm and a sleepy head . junior i miss u alot , yo life is a bitch a big bitch ,

I WENT TO SCHOOL TODAY AND I GUESS IT WAS OK . AM SO BORED AND I HAVE A HEADCHE . AM NOT GOING TO SCHOOL TOM YEY

YEY I BOUGHT MY BLACK TIMS AND I RECEIVED MY TWO BIG ORDERS FROM WWW.HOTTOPIC.COM . AM SO HAPPY BUT SCHOOL STARTS TOM SO AM NOT THAT HAPPY .AM STOMACH HURTS ALOT AND MY HEAD IS KILLING ME . HEY I SPOKE TO A NEW PERSON TODAY [Scatterheart]SHE SEEMS COOL .[Tehrror] IS VERY COOL, I WANT TO THANK HER FOR HELPING ME