[Morningstar Rising]'s diary
Because I love you, but I can't be with you.
Because I love you, I know that it will never be.
Because I love you, You are a good soul you see.
Because I love you, I've broken your heart it bleeds.
Because I love you, I don't ever want to leave.
Because I love you, I'm dying ever day you see.
Because I love you, This great burden I must carry on my own
Because I love you, For my sin is loving you.
Because I love you, In my next life I dream of you.
Because I love you, It's the only dream I dream.
Because I love you, When my life is done I'll wait.
Because I love you, I will search until you come.
Because You love me, Holding hands as one we will walk.
Because You love me, The smiles upon our face,
Will tell a story that's so great,
Of two lovers who fell from grace,
Of a love that could not be,
That now has a chance to breath.
Second chances are always free.
Written about Tuesday 2007-09-18
Written: (6276 days ago)
Friends, what are they really. I thought I knew a friend who turned on me cause he did not like what I had to say. I thought that I could say anything to him, and that we would argue about it, and then move on. But I was wrong, that did not happen. Instead a friendship was lost, a voice that meant a lot is gone now from my life. I cried about it, I won't lie. I cried cause it hurt and cause I really cared about this friend. I cared about him like family, boy what a fool I was. Friends come and friends go, Guess thats the story of my life.
I stood in a crowded airport
The silence was so loud
Your back it was turned to me
Yet I knew you without a doubt
I reached out and touched you
My hands and voice they trembled
As I whispered your name
You turned to me, you smiled
My heart it leaped with joy
Into your arms I fell
Your lips devoured mine
Your kiss was deep, was hungry
Full of passion running wild
My tears they flowed freely
My heart was filled with glee
For in your arms was I
At long last I was with you
If only for that night
In dreams you're always with me
We love, we laugh, we dance
Our night is filled with passion
Our love it shines real bright
In dreams I'll always love you
Until the morning light.
It flows on the wind, far away from my sight
Empty inside........
They drifted away on the wind one late night
I search and I search........
But they are nowhere to be found
They play hide-n-seek, behind all the gray clouds
My muse has vanished, evaporating like smoke
Drifting endlessly up, far away from my soul
I search and I search........
But the words they don't come
They elude me each time, hiding far from my sight
My inspiration is gone, it floats on the wind
Far away to a land, that my mind cannot gleem
My muse has vanished, far from my sight
It grew wings... It took flight....
Now I'm empty inside
ONE AS WEAK AS I
Afraid to say my name
Like thunder roaring loud
Silence binds me down
The weight upon my chest
Crashes me to the ground
I try to rise in vain
My legs they let me down
I lay back on the ground
My eyes casted to the sky
I pray for help to come
But no one hears my silent cries
My tears they roll down free
As my life seeps out of me
The world it grows so dark
And yet a light I see
I wonder where I'm bound
If God still loves me so
If the gates of heaven will open
For one as weak as I
My life is full of regrets
Of things unsaid and done
Of yesterdays that are gone
Of tomorrows that will never come
Today is almost done
And with it is my life
Darkness fills my eyes
No more sunrises will I see
I wonder if God still loves me
If the gates of heaven will open
For one as weak as I
Today is a sad day for me, it is the first year that I will spend without my mom, she passed away last New Year's Eve.
I can celebrate the passing of the old year into the new year, but it will never be the same for me.
I will always recall the found memories I have of mom.
Every New Year's Eve she had to have 12 grapes and we all had to have them cause it was tradition.
She use to say, 'One grape, sweet and ripe, picked from the earth, to give you life. One grape for every month of the New Year to fill you with sweetness and full of cheer.'
Her name was Josepha Sanchez, she was the light that held my family together.
Since she has been gone, the family that she so loved has drifted far apart.
For her I shead the tears that I do not normally shead for others when they pass.
She bore nine children into this world.
Married when she was only 13 (a child herself), to a man 10 years her senior.
There marriage lasted a life time, he was the love of her life.
After his death, Mom was never the same.
Though she went on with her life from day to day, she missed him more then life itself
If she could have died when dad did, Mom would have, but she out lived him by 11 years and died at the same age as he did, 71.
Mom I really miss you very much. The long conversations we use to have on the telephone.
The late night calls when you could not sleep and needed just to hear one of your childrens voice
The chinese dinners that you loved so much, even though I did not care for chinese food that much.
The spanish concerts that you use to drag us to, even though we protested that it was not our type of music, we still had a great time
Your laughter and the smile that use to light up your face and make your dark brown eyes glow with life.
The bingo nights that you so loved to go to, even though you hardly ever won.
I miss you Mom, more then I can put into words.
More then I ever thought that I would.
My heart cries for my loss and leaps with joy because I had you in my life.
I look at your picture and smile, remembering the good and the bad times we shared.
I hope to see you again one day Mom, but not to soon cause I still have a lot of living to do.
I hope that you are happy were ever you are.
I love you Mom, now and always, from here to the end of time.
Till we meet again Mom, know that you were loved,
that you are still loved and that you will live forever in my heart.
Hugs and Kisses Mom, and a pinch or two here and there. LOL
Love Always YOur Daughter
Shay
Festering from childhood through out the years
It's funny how that came to be
To many tales to tell you see
A bond of trust there is no more
Broken by the many lies one told
A bad word here, a hushed up lie
The hurt to deep cuts like a knife
One took and took, the other gave
It hurts like hell to learn the truth
Of hate so raw it cannot hide
Blinded are her eyes no more
She's seen the light, how sad she feels
Her love was true all through the years
The needs, the wants, that we all have
To share true love is joy untold
When blood feuds blood the tears they flow
The price is great, so much is lost
Each and every passing day
We welcome you with open arms
Snowville is the place to be
To run, to play all through the day
Come watch a snow storm, build a snowman or two
Watch them come to life just to play with you
Have a snowball fight that you never lose
Where we welcome you all through the night
Make snowangels that will last for days
Take a raindeer drive on an open sled
Sing some songs of joy with your family and friends
Watch the snowpeople dance trying to catch snowflakes
Watch them melt in your in your hands as they turn to rain
All are welcomed here all through out the year
Where the snow never stops and the snowpeople laugh
Where there are songs to be sung and loads of fun to be had
Where a blanket of white covers all the land
Where the snowpeople wait for your magical touch
To come to life each day and each night
Where we greet you all with pure delight.
As we dance in the snow all through out the night.
Singing songs of merry, making lasting friends
As we drink hot chocolate by the fireplace
Have the time of your life that you'll never forget
Here in Snowville Land with your family and friends.
Secret lovers hiding from prying eyes
Stealing forbidden kisses till the morning light
I wake alone, smiling everyday
Counting the seconds till I'm in your arms again
Meeting every Wednesday at noon for lunch
In dark lit corners hidden from curious minds
Your deep dark eyes, your skin of bronze
You smell so good all of the time
Your arms so strong they hold me tight
The world slips away when I'm with you
We chat, we laugh, the world is new
If only just for an hour that day in time
The world fades back, our hour is done
Our time is short, but be both know
Our love must never, ever see the light
We must let go, our love must die
To many lifes our love will shatter
To many broken hearts for me, for you
I have new goals, I've changed my name
I've left my job, I've packed my bags
To start my life a new, I've moved far away
I hope things work, I wish you well
Forever in my dreams secret lover will you live
Its the only place that's safe you see
Our journeys done, our lives move on
Headed towards different paths that take us far apart
Our memories stored for our golden years
When we are old we'll smile as we recall
Secret lovers thats what we once were, once upon a time long ago
Secret lover in your arms every night in my dreams forever I lay
Our love lives on still to this day, every night in my dreams I wait.
I wrote this poem for the Christmas Poetry Competition on Elftown.
A full moon passes bringing winter at its heels
The days grow short as the nights grow long
The clouds grow gray with the promise of rain
The land grows cold bringing forth the first snowflakes
The streets turn white as the storm passes by
Tiny stars glisten bright on the snow covered ground
Snowflakes melt breathing their last breath of life
There mission is done the snowflakes one by one
Become part of the whole to create this christmas wonderland
HER LIFE
Its not what it was meant to be
She got married, had a child plus two
A cat, a dog and a gray bunny too
Her sadness overwhelms her
She doesn't know what to do
The road stands before her divided in two
The left path will take her
To a life that is new
The right path swings back
To the place that she knew
Her burden is great
Her soul is to heavy
Her mind it is clouded
She doesn't know what to do
For her husband there is no love
Their time has come and gone
Its her children that keep her rooted
To the place that she once knew
Still her life is filled with sadness
Even when the day is done
And her dreams of happy endings
Their time has come and gone.
My Brothers Bed
[A Halloween Story]
Devoted to his country and his family
Yes ma'am, no sir, polite as can be
A credit to his country is he
He volunteered for war
To keep his country safe
He left the home he knew
His family and his friends
The comfort of his bed
To sleep in distant lands
He tried to keep the peace
In a land where he is hated
But tall and proud he stood
A credit to his country
He came home with scar's
Unseen by human eyes
He's shed a tear or two
For those he left behind
He tosses and turns
He has sleepless nights
The memories of war
Crowd his helpless mind
Carefree as a lark was he
Devoted to his country and family
A credit to his country is he.
MEMORIES
Memories of you keep me awake
Turning, tossing, screaming out your name
My room is bathed in darkness
Shadows dance on the walls
A nightbird calls for its mate
The moon shines through my windowpane
Like eyes peering in through smokey haze
I see you walking towards me
Your arms outstreatched to hold me
I rise to meet your warm embrace
Longing to hold you close to my aching heart
But you desolve into the night
Like a spidery mist caught in the rain
I fall down to my knees
I cry out loud to you
Why my love did you leave me
Alone in this world filled with painful thoughts
Memories of you they are killing me
Slowly each day as darkness fades away
One more day without your warm embrace
Filled with memories of yesterday
Written about Tuesday 2006-08-22
Written: (6668 days ago)
MY LISA
My Lisa she is a living doll
Her voice is soft, like a ringing melody
Her green eyes sparkle brightly
When she says she that she loves me
Her smile touches her eyes
Giving her face a beautiful glow
I long for the touch of her hands to caress me
I long for her lips to press gently against mine
I long for her arms to enfold me
To hold me all through the night
My Lisa she is a beauty
Her gently soul is kind
She loves her son and daughter
For them My Lisa would die
My Lisa how I long to be with her
To hold her close to me
To whisper baby I love you
Until the end of time.
Written 8-19-06 By [Morningstar Rising], for [lost innocence] the love of my life.
ALTER EGO'S
I show the world my faces
They are never quite the same
My alter ego's rock
Each one has a name
They live their separate life's
Crammed within the same space
Careful are they
Not to mix their life's in anyway
They write little stories
About each and everyday
They love, they cry, they sing, they die
They are reborn again with each sunrise
My alter ego's, my saving grace
Without them I would surely go insane
Morningstar Rising
Written about Thursday 2006-08-17
Written: (6674 days ago)
LIES
Lies people tell them all the time
Hurtful, painful, full of rage
To your face, behind your back
Whispered here, shouted there
Swirling around without a care
Hidden secrets cloaked in darkness
Shadows dancing on the walls
Crying, grieving for all thats lost
Lies they break a heart made out of stone
Suckers are born everyday
Innocence is lost without any grace
Sadness bubbles like moltan lava
Streaming down across your face
Your soul it cries with every lie
Whispered from lips smiling sweetly
Proclaiming love thats never ending
Lies they cut your heart just like a knife
An open wound that hurts like hell
That never heals no matter how hard you try
That tears you apart from the inside out
So deep the jagged edge does cut
Right through your heart down to your soul
Lies to many have been told
By you, by me, by all
Lies they never go away
They linger till the end
Lies they lead you to your grave
Becareful what you say
Lies, Lies, Lies,
Please make them go away
Morningstar Rising
I don't know why I keep coming here, I don't think anyone reads what I write anyways. It seems to me that life sometimes takes twist and turns that send us into loops and dives that we would be better off not taking. So many roads to choose from, how does one know that the path they have taken is the right one.
I had a friend who I am told passed on, he was a nice guy and feel in love and got burned. He tried love but it did not work for him and it made him so sad, it broke my heart. Now his bro is looking for answers, but I have no idea what the questions are. Hope he finds what he is looking for, but most of all I hope that my friend is finally at peace.
Everyone should live by this code.
