*sighs*

ok,well i know i ventured out and seperated from someone i truly love,but i guess it's good to determine if what we have is true.I agreed to have it that way,but when it happens,i'm like what the hell was i thinking.I'm so confused on how i should try to work things out,because i dont want to ruin what i already did.He knows i love him so freaking much. It's amazing how things and feeling change so fast and it leaves you speechless and wondering what you could do to work things out. I love him more than anything,and now that he and i are not together,i just don't want him to find someone else,but then u can't stop someone from doing what they want and being happy.
I am so not gonna like not being with him.But then again i did take advantage of the relationship,and i was cheating on him,but it's no excuse to say that he's right,i shouldnt have done what i was doing.Yet he still loved me and i was being a slut.a SLUT,yes,but i love the fact of being with him,and having those limitations,because he means so much to me and now he's seperated from me,maybe i'll learn a lesson now.It's not worth cheating.You'll miss what you had,if you had anything to begin with.

*The Poopie List*




GHOST POOPIE: The kind where you feel the poopie come out, but there is no poopie in the toilet.





CLEAN POOPIE: The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.





WET POOPIE: The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you won't ruin them with stains.





SECOND WAVE POOPIE: This happens when you're done poopie-ing and you've pulled your pants up to your knees, and you realize that you have to poopie some more.





POP-A VEIN-IN-YOUR-FOREHEAD POOPIE: The kind where you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke.





LINCOLN LOG POOPIE: The kind of poopie that is so huge you're afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the toilet brush.





GASSY POOPIE: It's so noisy, that everyone within earshot is giggling.





DRINKER'S POOPIE: The kind of poopie you have the morning after a long night of drinking. It's most noticeable trait is the skid marks on the bottom of the toilet.





CORN POOPIE: Self explanatory.





GEE-I-WISH-I-COULD-POOPIE POOPIE: The kind where you want to poopie but all you do is sit on the toilet and fart a few times.





SPINAL TAP POOPIE: That's where it hurts so badly coming out, you'd swear it was leaving you sideways.





WET CHEEKS POOPIE (The Power Dump): The kind that comes out so fast, your butt cheeks get splashed with water.





THE DANGLING POOPIE: This poopie refuses to drop in the toilet even though you are done poopie-ing it. You just hope that a shake or two will cut it loose.





THE SURPRISE POOPIE: You're not even at the toilet because you are sure you are about to fart, but *oops* --- a poopie!

*Sighs* Another day of boredom and lonesome.Yep,thats it. I will admit i had a fun day n all.I guess thats a good thing,haha,yeah.But when it comes to dealing with friends on HERE,forget it,it seems like their there one moment,then they never come back.I end up with so many relations and yet they fail to keep in contact with me. Why is it that ppl do that? I mean once you make a relations,it's like a commitment with the person that your willing to actually talk to them and not ignore them. Its not like i don't have friends in real life,but i mean come on,why make a relations if you won't talk to me. I hate being the only one who actually thinks to talk to ppl on my relations,and they act like they don't see me online.thats a load of BS. I just wish people would notice me sometimes.I like being able to know i have friends who actually care.
However, i will be ending relations soon.

Sometimes i wish that i could disappear and still find some way of being happy.Everytime i find someone that i think i have a chance of being happy with,seems like they just go away and don't come back. As a girl who lives alone in another country, you'd think she'd be able to find least one person,but nope.I mean even though i'm with someone now, i feel like we never have enough time together. Besides that,most guys want me for sex and sometimes i dont feel that guys even know how much they hurt me when it happens,but they do. I want to say i'll get over it,but why lie about it,it'll keep hunting me for time and time again.
I think just being single for a long ass time will help me realize that the only thing to make me happy is... well...me. I'm done with relationships for quite some time,until i can fully figure out what i'm getting myself into before i jump in.
The person i do want,well, i dont know,its just a crush i guess.

this is what[The Godfather] and i do everynight.

i'm in love!

haha yeah, i like um drank 2 vodka ounce things. err,,,3 i forgots some bacariidi..uh 2 more mudslides and i hink my cook is kind of not wanting to give me anuremore. uhh..

how can you truly trust someone?
how do you know if whats going on is real, so that you won't get hurt,but then you want to put your heart into it?

things are so hard to understand and believe,but i think i can manage.

well so far,i've been enjoying my boyfriend,but he's busy for the while,so i've been kind of depressed w/o him.Never felt this way with any guy else and yeah he is everything.But,i am in need of satisfaction and lol,um yeah,so i'm going to be going on tour for 2 weeks,starting december 1st until the 14th,but i will have my laptop with me.
I love you all *especially you chris*


feels like i need to say sorry to this person,for being what i was to them,but then i dont know if it's because i'm lonely or i'm actually feelin that way. i just don't know.

insatiable: always wanting more: always needing more and impossible to satisfy

always wanting more: always needing more and impossible to satisfy

[this song is what i feel when i'm in love]

You And Me" by lifehouse

What day is it? And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive
I can't keep up and I can't back down
I've been losing so much time

Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

All of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping on words
You've got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here

Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

There's something about you now
I can't quite figure out
Everything she does is beautiful
Everything she does is right

Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you
and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

What day is it?
And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive