anyways, so life does go on, i can no longer find my friend, and well, that is crappy. oh, and i dont think i said, but my brother had kicked me out last week. for a no good reason. so that really sucks, and now i have to live with my parents for the time being. and right now, i am attempting to learn Japanese. its a little hard, but i can catch on, hopefully soon, i will know the whole language.

well, one of my best friends on a game thinks i am an assassin, so right now i feel like crap. she doesn't trust me, so she wont tell me about my own death on the game, and if anyone avenged it. but oh well, what can i do? nothing. but that is so like sad. anyways, havent been on in a while ( how sad! ) yeah, things come and go, and keep going, aww, and well it gets frustrating. and well, i just need to have some fun with some people. Yeah, anything.

Well today, cant say is a good day, but whatever. I just found out that, well, my sister's ex is totally dissing me. And i had even offered him tons of money to be nice, cause it seemed like he really needed it,and well, he is still acting like an asshole, and well, not just that, but he knows that my sister implied that he had called me ignorant, and well, i told him, and he didnt deny it. And he didn't even say that he was sorry, for anything. He is a total jerk. I cant believe that i ever even cared about what he thought about anything. He pretended to be a good guy, but hey, you can never really trust anyone can you?
Well, i say F@*! that guy. I dont need him for anything, he is a dirty rotten pig stealing son of a beotch

how do i always manage to get myself into all this mess? i really dont know how i do it. Am i really too flirty, AM i trying TOO HARD? i just dont understand. why should i force myself to stay in a relationship, with someone i dont want to be with? i really shouldnt do that. its not healthy. oh well. i wish he would really stop trying to make me feel bad for him though. he's always telling me how much he feels unloved, and how he wishes someone would just love him. its like Jeez, just leave me alone, youre like 29, and im like 18, this just isn't working.i need to stand up for myself, and just tell him, no more. that i will no longer stand for this crap. especially since i just found out that he had a kid, and he didnt tell me, and that also he's a man whore. and he wants smooches from me. I THINK NOT!!! that is an outrageous concept! how can he even think that i would want to be with him, since he's a man whore? i really have to end this, and soon. or it will go on longer than it should. i love him, just not in the way that he wants me to love him. he needs to back up, and look at the big picture. WE DONT EVEN LIVE IN THE SAME CITY!!! urgh, and he wants to be with me. well, no more, i wont allow it.
                   THE END