[COOTERxx]'s diary

70975  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2006-06-08
Written: (4930 days ago)

He treats me so good.
He's everything I've ever wanted in a guy.
He's there for me, he cares for me.

So why do I question him?
Why do I worry about what he's doing when I'm not around?
Why do I cry like this?

He hasn't done anything wrong. He's done everything right. Heartbreaks from my past are quickly catching up, and I'm beginning to realize that my scars will never completely fade out. I'm so afraid that he's going to hurt me, and why? Because of the mistakes the others have made with me. I want to be with him. I want to be with him so fucking bad, so why do I do this?



I just want to be happy again.

69864  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2006-06-01
Written: (4936 days ago)

Me: Hey, I'm going to be going to Ashley's Friday because she's not allowed to leave her house for a month..you can come if you want, if not I'll see you Monday.
Patrick: Are you sure it's okay if I go?
Me: Yeah, we'll just be all like, sober watching movies and stuff..might be kinda boring.
Patrick: I don't need alcohol to be with you.
Me: Alright. Gah, I miss you.
Patrick: I miss you too, but Friday isn't that far away.


fksjdfkj GAHHHHH.
He makes me feel amazing. And wanted.




I don't think I've been this happy in a long time.

69543  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2006-05-29
Written: (4939 days ago)

<img:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v337/xglowkittie/Gangstaz/lamee006.jpg>
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<img:http://myspace-441.vo.llnwd.net/00778/14/44/778974441_l.jpg>
<img:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v337/xglowkittie/Gangstaz/lamee010.jpg>
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http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v337/xglowkittie/Gangstaz/lamee011.jpg>
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<img:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v337/xglowkittie/Gangstaz/lamee028.jpg>


It was a good night.

69147  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2006-05-25
Written: (4943 days ago)

I swear..
My heart's just going to quit beating pretty soon.

69045  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2006-05-25
Written: (4944 days ago)

The lunatic is in my head.
You raise the blade,
You make the change,
You rearrange me 'till I'm sane.
You lock the door,
And throw away the key,
There's someone in my head..
But it's not me.

68922  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2006-05-23
Written: (4945 days ago)

She was divinity's creature
That kissed in cold mirrors
A Queen of Snos
Far beyond compare
Lips attuned to symmetry
Sought Her everywhere
Dark liqoured eyes
An Arabian nightmare...



I want to cry.

68562  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2006-05-20
Written: (4949 days ago)

I know you hate it.
The fact that I'm slowly trying to move on with my life.
But the truth is,
No matter where we are,
Who we're with,
Or what we're doing with our lives..

I will ALWAYS love you.
And you will always be my first love.
Don't think otherwise.



I wish you wanted me,
But if you don't,
I'm not waiting around for something..
That will never happen...

68217  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2006-05-17
Written: (4952 days ago)

<img:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v337/xglowkittie/Gangstaz/100_1051.jpg>
<img:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v337/xglowkittie/Gangstaz/thegroup.jpg>
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<img:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v337/xglowkittie/Gangstaz/100_1042.jpg>



I don't want Chez to leave..
Not now..

68014  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2006-05-15
Written: (4954 days ago)

Overwhelming level of confusion.

I hate myself when I do this to people..

67800  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2006-05-13
Written: (4956 days ago)

Aww.
Patricks such a cutie.

He was like, "Kike is my hero." And I asked why, and he was like, "Because if it weren't for him I might not see you tonight." AwwwwwwawaWWWw. K.

Anyways.
Kike is gonna come pick me up at 7:30 or so.
Huzzah.

67533  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2006-05-10
Written: (4958 days ago)

<img:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v337/xglowkittie/kok.jpg>


Alex drew me a kitty cat :D!!!

67499  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2006-05-10
Written: (4958 days ago)

Aww.
Look at meeee.

<img:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v337/xglowkittie/Meh/spiked.jpg>

<img:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v337/xglowkittie/Meh/squish.jpg>

<img:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v337/xglowkittie/Meh/Hair.jpg>

Like, two years ago. How cute.

67497  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2006-05-10
Written: (4958 days ago)

I wish I could really smile right now.
I really, really do.

67442  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2006-05-10
Written: (4959 days ago)

When I die,
I'll go out with IV:XX carved into my throat.

That way, you'll never forget what I stood for.

67430  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2006-05-10
Written: (4959 days ago)

I saw a shooting star one night, and he told me to make a wish. I wished that one day, some day soon, we'd be together and happy again. He told me that wishes upon stars always come true, he swore to it.

...He doesn't know I wished for him.

Please, oh please, please come true.

67285  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2006-05-09
Written: (4960 days ago)
Next in thread: 67286

God damn.
I don't know what I want in life anymore.


Alex
Travis
Patrick


Fuck
I dont know what to do.
I'm so in love with Alex,
And yet, He confesses nothing towards me.
We talk a lot, about relationships, having a kid, blahblahblah,
BUT NOTHINGGGG.
Patrick likes me
Travis says he loves me
But I truly do not know what I want.

67118  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2006-05-08
Written: (4961 days ago)

I hooked up with Travis,
But I really like Patrick.



I hope he understands.

66846  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-05-05
Written: (4963 days ago)

God damnit.

66300  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2006-05-03
Written: (4966 days ago)

The past two days, I've gotten 7 hours sleep total.
And why?
Because I'm up until 3am talking to him.
God.


..
Yeah.

Staying home this weekend so I can hang out with him next.
I'm bored.
Still sick.
Ughhh.



Yeah.

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