Nuuuu, i can't decide whether to cut my hair off or not.. I've had it cut.. but it's still fairly long with short layers on top... I had it in a pony tail before and it looked cool with just the short layers on top really messy.. i may get the longness cut off and just leave the short layers.. *wanders off pondering*
^{ZOMG i'm becoming such a hair addict >___< I change my hair every 5 minutes...}

And this week Beki will be modelling her hair on:

Kanon!
Aye, hairdressers AGAIN tomorrow.. they're gonna get sick of the sight of me XD But i like changing my hair every few weeks :p And i'm going for a Kanon-ish style this time ^___^

Oh dear. I do believe i just dug myself into a large and very stinky hole of doomness. Bugger. Why is it always me who manages to do these stupid things?!
Anyway, enough of that.. I'll worry about it later. I now want to ramble abit about the post 16 open evening i just went to at my school. It was great fun, despite the fact that i thought i'd be bored :p I met Bianca right at the start and we want to take all the same subjects XD then we met Josh, who's also taking all the same subjects as us.. Then we bumped into Toni, who's taking some of the same subjects as us. Then we met Ruth and Danny and Wilson and bogged around together like a bunch of loons ^___^ I ended up getting in a slightly uncomfortable position with Josh, Toni, Wilson and Danny.. there was alot of humping going on XD And then my mum walked round the corner.. It was hilarious XD And now i have Josh's slobbery glove o.O
Art exam tomorrow which will be ACE! 5 hours of art, bliss *drifts off into arty heaven*
Now i need to go and slap myself upside the head for digging myself into a hole, and go and organise my art work ^___^

*sigh* teh beki needs to rant..
i dunno why really, i'm just feeling really REALLY poo at the moment, and im not really sure why. I've been unmotivated in the past, but now it's getting stupid. I can't get out of bed in the morning. I just don't see the point, so i just lie there staring at the cieling all day. I can't sleep. I'm not eating and i'm drinking hardly anything.
The only time i bother getting up and dressed is for work, and to go and see my friends. AND I'M FUCKING DOING IT AGAIN! I'm hiding away like i used to.. Plastering on a fake smile and pretending i'm fine.. I can't do that anymore, it nearly killed me last time..
So i'm ranting in here because it's not the kind of thing i feel i can talk about, but if i know i've said it, i'll feel better.
It's probably just exam stress that's getting too me.. Coupled with boyfriend problems, parent problems and dealing with the fact that my dad is probably going to be dead before i finish college.
I'm NOT being emo or attention seeking.. i just can't think of any other way of letting this out.. I KNOW i don't have the worst life in the world, no one needs to tell me that.. I worship those people who have REALLY difficult lives, coz i have no idea how they cope with it.. i know i couldn't..
I'm easily stressed. Easily depressed. Easily angered to the point of violence. Easily upset. I don't exactly have the right kind of psyche to deal with some of the things that are going on in my life at the moment, that's all.
God, i don't even know what i'm talking about anymore.
I'm just gonna shut up and go to bed.
Go and lie in the dark and stare at the cieling again.
Fuck.

Awooga! I feel like writing in here.. because i can! CAN! MWEH! ..Can't actually think of anything to say though 8B

Hmmm... Ok, i've just realised something... I've actually had an Elfpack account since January O__O but i totally forgot about it and only came back to it recently XD I don't think i even logged on until a few days ago XD

What the hell does that make me then?? An old n00b or something? Meh, im not a n00b, i know how elfpack works.. It's the same as ET only slightly less green and nerdy O_O ..LONG LIVE THE GREEN NERDS!! XD