[Enneigard Rebirth]'s diary
wait.....if no one thinks im hot, so that must mean im ugly.
Right?
i went to show & pizza 2day at the dorm. went to cutbank, ate at pizza hut, & watched 8 below...
had a really shitty weekend. bad things happened, & i really felt like crap. but then again, we all have days like that...
all i have to do is get her out of my fucking mind & ill be okay again...even though i was never okay
to love someone that cant love you back, to have feelings for a deceased love, that is a fateful demoneida...
Description:
Disorder Rating Information
Paranoid: Very High
Schizoid: Very Low
Schizotypal: Low
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: High
Histrionic: Moderate
Narcissistic: Very Low
Avoidant: Very High
Dependent: Very High
Obsessive-Comp
oh well...
i was denied.
Written about Saturday 2006-03-25
Written: (6861 days ago)
we all have our simplistic problems, are deeper tormented illusions of unexpressed emotions, waiting to crawl out into the light of revealment, but to be masked with regret & unsurity, is the real curse.
if you know what to expect then knowing the truth doesnt hurt as bad...
hey! evilishish wiki
bleh...meh...i
i decided to post one of my poems from www.Creative-p
enjoy....or at least TRY to
××× ŧõ mŷ mũŧĭĿâţēđ âńĝėĿīč Ĺŏvē...×××
i hide behind a smile & of an image of a friend
wishing this horrid pain would seize & end
no one would ever understand this torture
while everyone gives into it like pop culture
so i set my own heart on a bottle of propane
knowing that my true love was slain
that was the match that ignited my pain
with screwed up thoughts tearing apart my brain
wrap barbwire around my neck & hang from the ceiling
stab myself with a knife, i dont need this darkened feeling
she was shot to death because of me
im a hopeless abomination, dont you agree?
shut myself away from sociality to feel the darkness
because i deserve it, i am ugly & hopeless
please forgive me my love, i have failed you
your soul resides in heaven, i only know that to be true
i was supposed to protect you in this complicated tangle
i am the norevard, the savior of the distressed angel
i failed my mission & now i am damned for eternity
i am so sorry that youve been caught in this calamity
just another victim of depression's darkest side
with a tough brave image but a frail person inside
i already have it copyrighted so no one can do shit with it....
i think i should ask this one person but NO. shed never accept. shes not going anyway, & she isnt into my kind....
sigh....this sucks...now i dont have a date for prom....wait..
would being dead really be that easy? will going to hell or heaven result in meeting the one i miss & love? will my friends really understand why i wanted to die? no...nothing in this life is ever that easy...always a catch.....so we are forever to be split apart...
completed a work of art "enneigard vs. Malpasso" being entered in my Ze Art Of Enneigard wiki.
the hardest thing to see is to see the one you truly love, love someone else....
stab my fucking legs, slice up my arms, bite holes into my wrists, rip open my arms with my fucking fingers, tying my veins into knots while i wrap them with barbwire & jump off a fucking building into a pit of impaling bones of all the ones i loved & forgot with swords of regret stabbing through every fucking pore of my flesh is what the anti-christ wishes for my lifeless soul to end scenario...
(its not supposed to make sense)