I'm having problems in my life right now that are more serious than the internet. So when it's all resolved, I'll be back. Till then I'll check up every now and then.

*-this means i think it's true

[50 Things Girls Wish Guys Knew...]


1. dont tell us when you think other girls are hot.
2. whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
3. if you dont act like soap-opera guys, dont expect us to dress like Victoria Secret models.
4. mark anniversaries on a calendar.
[*]5. there is no such thing as too much spooning.
[*]6. we think about you all the time.
[*]7. this is how we see it . . . Don't call = Don't Care.
8. which also means that if we dont call, take the hint.
[*]9. we like you to be a little jealous . . . but overly possessive is not necessary.
[*]10. being able to make us laugh is so much more important than how much you can bench-press.
[*]11. return favors: we massage, you massage; we go down, you go down; we shave, you shave.
[*]12. foreplay is not an option . . . its a prerequisite.
13. we're allowed to be late . . . you are not.
[*]14. eye contact is key.
15. dont take longer to get ready than we do.
[*]16. laugh at our jokes.
[*]17. three words . . . honesty, honesty, honesty.
[*]18. girls can be groupies. guy groupies are stalkers.
19. we never have to wonder if your orgasm was real.
20. do not start with us. you will not win.
[*]21. would you like it if a guy treated your sister that way? we didnt think so.
[*]22. if you ask nicely, we usually answer the same way
23. we will never have enough clothes or shoes.
[*]24. we have an excuse to act bitchy at least once a month. As do you.
[*]25. open the door for us no matter where we are . . . even at our house and getting into the car.
[*]26. we love surprises!
[*]27. we liked to be kissed softly, not with an iron tongue.
[*][*][*]28. pay attention to the little things we do, because they mean the most.
[*]29. boxers and maybe boxer briefs sometimes . . . NEVER whitey-tighties!
30. clean your room before we come over.
[*]31. always brush your teeth before you see us . . . a fresh mouth and white teeth are a necessity.
32. when we use our teeth it means that you suck at going down on us, so we are just returning the favor.
[*][*]33. even though you are sometimes insensitive and hurt us, we still love you with everything we are.
[*]34. dont act hard around your friends because i wont make you hard tonight.
[*]35. sometimes "NO!" really means "NO!"
36. "Wife Beaters" are not an adequate form of fashion.
37. if we wanted to be on video tape, we'd be a porn star not your girlfriend.
[*]38. sensitive guys are great . . . but crying more than we do in a movie just isnt right.
[*][*]39. dont let ex-girlfriends cause drama, relationships are stressful enough.
[*]40. it takes a special kind of stupid to forget birthdays.
[*] sometimes41. guys who are good cuddlers = guys who know how to satisfy a woman.
42. "Fat Chicks" have feelings too.
[*]43. silent treatment, shoulder shrugs, tears, yelling and nasty looks all add up to . . . YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG!
[*]44. the excuse "I can't dance" is unacceptable . . . we'll appreciate the simple fact that you're trying.
[*]45. just because a girl doesnt pick up on the first ring doesnt mean shes not waiting by the phone.
[*]46. you dont have to spend a lot, if it means a lot.
[*]47. dont say you love me if you dont mean it. when we say it we mean it
[*]48. dont lie to us . . . we will catch you.
[*][*]49. just because your tired doesn't mean you can blow us off like we are nothing.
[*][50. when the girls get together, we talk about EVERYTHING. Meaning my best friends know everything about you.]

12 Ways To Get To A Girls Heart-- 1. Hugs her from behind. 2. Grab her hand when you guys walk next to each other. 3. When standing, wrap your arms around her. 4. Cuddle with her. 5. Dont force her to do ANYTHING! 6. Write little notes. 7. Compliment her. 8. When you hug her, hold her in your arms as long as possible. 9. Say I love you.....and MEAN IT! 10. Brush the hair out of her eyes 11. Comfort her when she cries. 12. Love her with all your heart Girls- Repost this if you think its sweet. Guys- Repost this if you would do any of it

Let's give up

I'm tired of trying to impress people my age. All I would have to do is lay back and do drugs and drink. But then I wouldn't be me. I feel as if the past 24 hours has been the down fall of my emotions, body, and soul. I feel like shit the only thing that keeps me a bit alive is the orange soda. I'm supposed to be really happy to be turning 16, but all I feel is depression.

I'm tired of all of thes:
-drug addicts that show it off like it's an award to see how fucked up your body can get until you start having granny seisures like my uncle
-these "sex addicts" who are all about the sex, get aids and fucking die
-smokers, go pollute your own lungs in a cealed room so that you're nicotine can coat those walls till they become yellow so i don't have to die of your cancer sticks
-worthless people

*wines*

my boyfriend has this friend who like probably hates me. it figures i put forth the effort to be nice and all he does is get annoyed with me. maybe i should give up. he was all like "i'm here to talk to his friends, not his gf." my mistake now watch me suffer a discussion like alex used to give me.

Two days till my 16th birthday and it looks as if it's going to be another day of hell to pay. I'm pretty sure that people hate me already.

Two and a Half Hours

I've been trying to get a hold of [Shougo] for two and a half hours. And still nothing. I have NO FUCKING CLUE what the hell happened to him or if he's still sleeping. I really, realy miss him, besides his trip to Chicago this has been the longest time I've gone without talking to him. So I am really worried and nothing is settling my mind.

I'M BACK!!

Well I'm back and I'm working on a few of my wikis!

Hello, Hello, Hello

Well I have exciting news! AFI'S DECEMBERUNDERGROUND ALBUM COMES OUT 6.6.06! GO GET IT! And I am going to Warped Tour and Ozzfest this year. Ozzfest is 7.23 and Warped Tour is 7.28! AFI is going to be at Warped Tour...but besides that my life is pretty much boring. I am over at Nick's waiting for him to get home from his interview...I hope that will be soon. I guess he's been at his interview for about an hour and 10 minutes now.

I'm out of school now and will be going to WHS next year along with graduating from WHS. It is a prep school and I really really hate it.

and i have nothing else to say so

aufwiedersehen,
[shardae le fae]

Spring Break, Nick, and Other Shit

As everybody knows April 2nd is the day when people "leap ahead" in time. Well this was only true for part of norther indiana until yesterday. All of Indiana got put on daylight savings time. so this was the first time I have ever had to lead/spring ahead in time. And I find it quite confussing since I still wake up like usual. 9:30, usual Indiana time, now it's 10:30.

Anyway, we are on Spring Break right now for the week. I guess that's all I have to say about that.

Nick and I have been going out for 6 months, 2 days. Speaking of Nick, he's not here right now, I guess he's out with his mom and will be back soon.

Alex leaves for his basic training June 13th. Him and I are no longer fighting. Umm...he's with his ex girlfriend Shelly. I wish him much luck with her....honestly she must be the most patient woman in the world to deal with him in person. lol ^_^

Oh and I don't know when I'll get another computer...right now my evil step father has it..he's such a stupid bitch. he has to be a bitch because he isn't a man....

Well I'm sure most of you like playing in the rain.

Let it Rain,
Love Yall,
[shardae le fae]

Moving and blah

I'm moving, it'll take a couple of weeks so I won't be on very much. Love Yall, Shardae le fae

MERRY CHRISTMAS

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!!!

'Ellow Nickha'

Nick and I are back together. Ann broke up with him and she had very good reasons to do it. Her ex called her up and asked her to be his wife. So yeah....and so he came running back. Alex is very, very upset with me, probably hates me.

(We decided not to count the few days we were split up so: 2 MONTHS, 17 DAYS)

Split Personalities

Well about the whole Nick thing. I realized I can't be with Alex if I still want to work things out with Nick. And I do. So I can't be with Alex. But Nick's idea of work things out with me is dating someone else for a little while. But all that is going to do is destroy my sanity, what little I have left.

What made it worse was his choice of people to go out with. Ann, a "friend" of mine, ended up being his choice. It sent me off the walls. And now I'm wondering if I do have any sanity left. And I asked him if he'd be willing to do anything for me. He said yes. I asked him if he would dump Ann to make things work. He said in time. I asked if we could work together, out of all opposite sex relationships, and not in one with each other, he didn't answer.

I want him back, I love him, I want a life with him. I honestly don't understand it. And I feel so very betrayed. Honestly, I want to break down within his arms, but they're not for me to break down in anymore. They're for Ann to break down in now.

What ever, I give.

Bye-Bye Nick. Hello Alex

Two months, twelve days, and it's now over. Nick and I are over. He ended it today because I still love Alex. I told him, I wouldn't lie to him about anything, including that.

So now, Alex and I are back together. I still love Nick more than Alex, but I'll live.

Tommorow at school will be hard and akward.

My Life?

I don't know what to type about. There isn't much going on in my life right now. 

Well there is way too much snow outside, so we didn't have school Friday. So Nick and I played out in the snow, napped, and watched a movie. wow, that was all yesterday. I tend to forget things way too easily. I really do. It's rather funny sometimes.

Hmm, I haven't talked to Alex in a few days. And I have no clue what's going on with him besides he has his new girlfriends. Well old girlfriends. Anywho!

I don't like talking about him as much anymore. We are friends, but we've both moved on.

I've learned to trust Nick, finally. Today he is hanging out with friends and all that lovely junk. I really do trust him. I just hope he doesn't spend all day with his ex Sarah. I guess I'm a bit jelous of her because she did carry his daughter, who was tradgically lost to a miscarriage. And I wish I could have had that stronge of a bound they must have with him. Oh well....anyway...I'll deal with it. I bet she would have been really pretty though.

Well Nick and I have been going out for 2 months and 9 days. ^_^

Well besides that there is nothing going on in my life. So well...

Happy Holidays,
[shardae le fae]

Laptops, Elfpack, my Life, and School

Well first of all I am on the laptop at school, explains the title a bit, and I will be talking about my all important life. ^_^

So here's what is going on. MEGAN IS IN CALIFORNIA. Okay then, moving on, Nick and I seem to be doing just fine now, a little rough around the edges, but whatever, if you care to argue: KISS MY ASS! Okay so we've been going out for 2 months, 4 days. So I am happy.

Anyway..I'm boring the death out of my friend Amanda, whom is sitting right next to me, begging the all mighty Jesus, ME, to change the site to something she wants to see....so then moving on because I am selfish today.

ON TO THE SUBJECT OF ALEX:

Okay so here's what's going on with him. His girlfriends' names are Krissy and D. Well okay then, I asked him if he cared about me more than them and he told me I come first in his heart. Wow I wonder if he wishes that he would come first in mine, probably does. But to be honest, between Alex and Nick, I think Nick comes first. So yeah, Alex, sorry for your luck. I guess if he hadn't of dumped me then he would still be the number one person in my life.

Anyway...moving on. I am going to meet Nick's family Christmas Eve and possibly Christmas Day.. So who knows how that is going to go. I guess I have to act very, very preppy and nice and innocent. (Although is there a girl who is innocent, sweet, nice, and preppy who has a boyfriend with a lip ring and tongue piercing? No.) And yes, now he has his tongue pierced. It's funny, he talks wierd since he got it done on the 3rd.

You should all go to http://illwillpress.com and http://missmab.com

Well I just found out that the school commputer will let me on Elftown, like it's not supposed to. SO THE ALMIGHTY GODDESS CALLED JESUS IS OFF TO ELFTOWN. Bye I love you.

BLAH!

Okay so here's what is going on now in my little wierd ass life that no one really cares about anytway! Nick is suspended because he got into a fight with Megan. He is grounded cause he got suspended. So yeah that is annoying.

MEGAN IS MOVING TO CALIFORNIA!! W00T!

[L V F] is being an asshole. He keeps threatening to kill himself. Which is so stupid. So if you know him, slap him for me! Oh yes and by the way Dawn, he says he isn't good enough for you, that he annoys you too much.

Hmm my grades are like in the fucking toillet right now. I have a D+, D-, and a F. So there is a good possibility that in 6 weeks I will be gone for 3 weeks until I get another midterm.

Okay then moving on.

NICK AND I HAVE BEEN GOING OUT FOR A MONTH AND 6 DAYS!!

Alex seems to be settled in with his new girlfriends. I forget their names, but whatever. I was suprised he didn't yell at me for going out with Nick. But I guess that shows how scared I was about his disapointment at the time.

OH WELL MOVING ON, AWAY FROM ALEX!!

I can't think of anything else to say.


I LOVE NICK....goodnight.

Coming Out

I'm done acting like something I don't want to be. So here I am going to state very clearly exactly what I believe and what I am.

1) I am bisexual
2) I am Pagan
3) I am a Neo-Nazi, take it or leave it
4) I HATE EMO FUCKS!! All of you are pathedic, learn diversity and individuality.
5) I HATE BUSH!

Thank you very much....you may now move on with your day.

What Seems like Forever

It's been nearly three weeks of chaos with Megan. She still won't back down..she still thinks Nick will go back out with her. He clearly said, "I'm so tired of this. I'm about to go up to her during Culinary and slit her throat."
So you can tell, it's getting old.

Anyway, tommorow (Saturday) it will be 2 weeks with Nick. It feels like it's been forever....goddess I'm just so happy it's going good so far.