I'm not in the mood to lie and tell everyone how happy I am in my diary. In truth, I am upset. Some friends are never reliable, even if you go to any extent to help them.
I have very few true friends. [raynesprite], [Shougo], and [death how i long to embrace you] naming three true friends.
L is isolating herself. I got to talk to her for like 2 minutes. I just wanted her to read a poem. She told me she didn't like it. So I told her have a good night and that I would speak to her next week. Then she tells me that very few people will be talking to her from now on. I told her if I was one that wouldn't just to tell me.
What does she say? "I don't know. You throw alot of your problems into my life."
I got on AIM at 8 am and she came whining about her fiance (btw she is only 15 and is about to get married). At least I had the decency to wait to seek help. I never tell her she puts too much drama in my life. In reality she is just dragging me down. So I've been a true friend. She has not.
So I am depressed.
I am going to be rude, crude and very ugly. People need to grow up. The problem with people is not just society because it starts with a single person or a group of people. The problem is individuals making society cruel and hard.
People need to grow up. It's not society's fault you do drugs. It's not society's fault you didn't graduate. It is your fault. You are not a product of your envoriment. You are the product of what you make yourself out to be.
If you make excusses all of your life, you will become a slacker. If you exert energy into life, you will in turn do better in life.
Also, isolating yourself from the world does not make it go away. I guess this is a nice idea when you are 13 years old and you feel like shit. Let us face it, the world does not go away. On top of that, you can not do this when you are 25 years old going to college and working. You can't call into work for two weeks straight and go "I'm sorry I don't feel well." You will get fired.
People are the things that are horrible, not the world. It's the people in this world. That is why people abuse Welfare and think that they "deserve it." Yeah sure, you deserve welfare while you are sitting on your ass everyday while some single mother has 4 children and 2 jobs because he husband left her after 10 years of marriage. Can she get welfare? No, because she is getting off her ass and doing something to try to make it better for her, yet the government doesn't give two shits about her.
You all need to get off your lazy asses, stop making excuses, stop following stupid fads, and get off the DAMNED DRUGS! "Well I had a stressful day, today." Is not a good reason to go home to drink, do drugs, smoke or go party. It is also not a reason to EAT YOURSELF TO DEATH PEOPLE OR TO STARVE YOURSELF! Why don't you go to the gym for an hour and work out. That releases stress alot better than whipping out the pot. Also, laziness, having a stressful day does not mean you get the "special priviledge" to lay on your ass and sleep all day! Build a garden, start a scrap book, take photographs, DONATE TO CHARITY! For the sake of sanity STOP BEING STUPID MORRONES!!!
I feel pretty helpless with Petition to Remove ana can help. It seems everyone likes [RabidSphinx].....so I guess that sways me to believing some of this was for absolutely nothing.
1. Smoked a cigarette: nope
2. Smoked a cigar: nope
3. Snorted coke: nope
4. Smoked Weed: nope
5. Been high: Yes
6. Had sex: Yes
7. Said "I hope you die" to someone: Yes
8. Tried to kill someone: Yes
9. Tried to kill yourself: Yes
10. Got in a fist fight: No
11. Lied to your parents: Yes
12. Given someone a bruise: Yes
13. Ditched someone: No
14. Freak danced: Yes
15. Stole something: No
16. Cut yourself: Yes
17. Skipped school: No
18. Hung up on someone: Yes
19. Threw up at school: Yes, alot
20. Done someone else's make-up: Yes
21. Kissed someone of the same sex: Yes
22. Had a burping contest: Yes
23. Snuck out: Yes (yeah to the store >.<)
24. Been to a school dance: Yes
25. Thought your teacher was hot: Maybe...
26. Swore in front of your parents: On accident
27. Drank alcohol: Sorta, two sips
28. Dyed your hair: Yes...too many times
29. Gone skinny dipping: YEP
30. Took pills you weren't suppose to: Yes
31. Lied to a friend: Yes
32. Stab a friend in the back: Yes
33. Got drunk: Nope
34: Got so drunk you forgot your name: Nope
35. Kissed someone of opposite sex: Yes
36. Had anal sex: eww, no
37. Ever been in love: Yes right now
38. Had sex in public: nearly
39. Been dumped: Yes
40. Been tied up sexually: yeah
41. Made out with a stranger: yep, later turned out to be someone my dad knew...and another my mom's boyfriend's son
42. Been on a blind date: no
43. Been cheated on: yes
For all Davey Havok Freaks: Davey Qoutes:
Old ladies come up to me all the time telling me to find God, when all I want to find is some chai and a good vegan muffin.
-Davey Havok
How many times will Davey put a disk into a CD player before realiing its a DVD?" - Davey Havok
As you get older you will gain a bit more control over everything. Don't let anyone, even your parents, break you. Find good people who care about you and surround yourself with just them. If you can't find them at first, find good music and fall into it, let it hold you until they come. I truly hope you enjoy the new record." - Davey Havok
A girl in Salt Lake once asked me 'Why are you wearing make-up, are you a fag?'
I then said 'Well, if I'm a fag for wearing make-up, you must be a dyke in blue jeans.'
I also informed her that she was just angry because I was prettier than she was.
- Davey Havok
interviewer- If the four of you were stranded on a desert island and you had to resort to cannibalism, who would you eat first?
Davey- Can I eat like nuts and berries and stuff?
Interviewer- It's a desert island, there aren't any nuts or berries.
Davey- Oh so it's like sand or people.
Davey- So basically you want me to eat one of my band mates, and you just expect me to answer that question?
Interviewer- Well that or one of their parts, yeah.
Davey- Probably Adam
Interviewer- Why Adam?
Davey- Well he's a drummer, so he's all lean, if you like lean meat.
Adam- Tender!
Interviewer- Well you wouldn't wanna get fat on a desert island.
Davey- Right.
Adam- I'm the other white meat!
Interviewer: Isn't it weird to think your faces are on a lot of bedroom walls?
Davey: We don't think of ourselves in those terms. It may be true but it's hard to think of ourselves in those terms.
Hunter: I have a poster of Adam on my bedroom wall
Davey: We all have posters of Adam.
"My ideal girl should be smart, drug free, and hot. People say its not important, but it is...oh and she can't hate me either."-Davey
Interviewer: All your guys stuff is all 666 and everything so whats all that about?
Hunter: Its my phone number, I didnt want to give it away
Interviewer: so do you believe in God?
Davey: I am God.
Hunter: He believes in him (pointing to jade) and I am an Atheist.
Accually I do believe in one god, I have a picture of him (takes picture out of wallet) his name is Molo, he is the god of moles.
Geoff: Oh yeah, ask us about Wal-Mart
Davey: Yeah, ask us about Wal-Mart
MRR: What about Wal-Mart?
Geoff: Well, let me tell ya. I went there with Dave and Mark looking for material to print patches on and there was this gangster girl there and she walked by and laughted and said, "It's not Halloween, you know." While she was walking away I said, "You coulda fooled me." She came back and got in my face and said, "What did you say?" I looked her in the eye and said, "YOU COULD HAVE FOOLED ME." I basically spelled it out for her and she was tough or something and said that Ukiah was her city and Wal-Mart was her territory and to watch out for her or some crap.
Adam: That's basically why we left. [lotsa laughter]
Geoff: Then her boyfriend got in my face and said, "Hey man, this is my girlfriend. Why don't you shut up?", and I said, "well then why don't you tell her to shut up?!", and he just walked away. That was about it. Oh!, and there's another story about Wal-Mart. Davey and I were buying dog chains and this redneck, typical Ukiahan guy walked by, and said, "Hey look, they're buying their jewelry." And then Davey says,....
Davey: "That's right, MOTHERFUCKER!!
Geoff: I didn't see who it was. I looked for him and was gonna go up and say, "Yeah, they're for your wife", but I couldn't find who he was."
JASON: You handled that like a man.
DAVEY: Ironic isnt it? I got makeup all over my shirt.
Who you see onstage is, at most, a slight exaggeration of who I am when Im not onstage. Or on Southwest Airlines.[davey]
Can you just say she was a boy?[davey]
FAN (during song): I love you Davey!
DAVEY (stops singing and smiles): Someone wants to fuck me. (Continues song.)
Q: How has AFI changed since you were signed and put out your first album?
DAVEY: We shave now
'Sorry about that big bright thing up there' - Davey
'Rabbits. you know, bunnies. If you don't watch it, they'll sneak up on you and bite you and shit' - Davey
terviewer: davey, tell the story about the time you guys played with SNFU.
davey: well, we have a couple of stories about that.....when we played with SNFU, geoff and i and our friend smiff....mark was there too, adam had already left, for reasons unmentionable. we were standing at the table selling stuff, and there was this big girl.....she was really tall, about 100 feet tall and...she wasn't fat or anything - she was just BIG. she had this big smile and bright red lipstick and a short blonde flat-top, a bleached blonde haircut like the girl in rocky IV, or whatever.
mark: like susan powter.
davey: yeah, like her! 'stop the insanity!' so, she kept coming up to the SNFU table and our stuff and saying, "anything free?" and she'd smile. we'd say, "no" and she'd make this grimace, pout, roll her eyes and walk away. she kept coming up and doing that and at one point, i was drinking jolt and i had let somebody else drink out of it. there was lipstick on it when she gave it back to me. i said to dave (SNFU's manager) after i drank from it, "that's the closest thing i've come to a kiss in a long time." and, so, he says, "aw, davey, you just got to exert yourself." so the big girl comes back and takes two SNFU stickers off the table and tapes them to her breasts, which were kind of large. dave says, "don't make me go there, cause i will." she says, "well, what if i run?" and dave says, "well, me and davey will have to catch you and tear them off. won't that be fun?" i was just sitting there, so dave says, "i'll tell you what. if you give my friend davey here a little kiss, i'll let you have those two stickers for free." she says, "okay" and then he asked, "how about you, dave?" "uh, okay." - i thought i was just gonna get a little smooch....
geoff: so davey puckers up and the girl takes her hand, puts it behind davey's head, and this 80 foot tongue shoots out of her mouth and goes down davey's throat!
davey: i was shocked, i was crying, i couldn't breathe. ohhh - it was horrible.
geoff: my eyes popped out of my head about three feet.
davey: it was traumatizing.
mark: and later on when she saw you what did she say? oh, "i'll see YOU later."
davey: i'm a fucking idiot..
"They wouldn't sell me a fuckin' pretzel," Davey fumes, pointing at a nearby vendor. That's what a VMA does for you. It doesn't mean shit."
"I was walking down the street in Berkeley the other day with my friend Geoff [Kresge, ex-AFI bassist] from Tiger Army and we walked by these guys who were like, 'Oh, look at these fucking faggots,' " he says. "So I just turned around and blew kisses at them and licked my lips. I'm very accustomed to it. Growing up, to present yourself the way we did, it was very common to be abused."
"I'm half mascualine and half feminine."
On being asked if he freaked out in the theater when he saw The Ring: Yes I did. I was by myself and there was this guy with his girlfriend and a couple of other girls next to me - and they were right next to me, so I was pretty much in his lap the whole time. Luckily for me, he was nice!
"This barricade is a piece of shit. I could build better. Yeah, yeah, believe it or not, the kid with the lipstick knows how to build stuff..."
"We don't wear your Abercrombie, please don't listen to our punk rock"
"We'll have buttons and stickers soon...I've gotta pee."
"Can I have a bite of your hamburger? Just dont tell the vegans... "
"Speaking of art, I saw Cabaret in SF last week. It was fucking amazing!
Yeah, it's a musical... yeah I know."
"Sometimes I hate myself. Sometimes I don't ."
When a GIRL is quiet, Millions of things are running in her mind. When a
GIRL is not arguing,She is thinking deeply. When a GIRL looks at u with
eyes
full of questions,She is wondering how long you will be around. When a GIRL
answers "i'm fine" after a few seconds, She is not at all fine. When a GIRL
stares at you, She is wondering why you are lying. When a GIRL lays on your
chest, She is wishing for you to be hers forever. When a GIRL wants to see
you everyday, She wants to be pampered. When a GIRL says I love you, She
means it. When a GIRL says "i miss you", No one in this world can miss you
more than that
Repost this and your true love will call you in five minutes
great it's raining...and i have to WALK TO WORK..every body else have rides to work, but no, I have to be the lucky one that has to get her shoes soaked and then go into work with wet socks...so i guess what i'm going to have to do is wear my boots to work and carry my other work shoes and just change in back
+TOUCH HER WAIST
+TALK TO HER
+SHARE SECRETS
+GIVE HER YOUR JACKET
+KISS HER SLOWLY
+HUG HER
+HOLD HER
+LAUGH WITH HER
+INVITE HER SOMEWHERE
+LET HER BE WITH YOU WHEN YOU'RE WITH YOUR FRIEND(S)
+SMILE WITH HER
+TAKE PHOTOS WITH HER
+TELL HER THE WAY YOU FEEL ABOUT HER**
+KISS HER ON THE NECK***
+TELL HER WHAT FEELS GOOD
+LOVE HER
+DON'T LIE TO HER**
+DON'T CHEAT ON HER***
+SHE COMES FIRST ECSPECIALLY BEFORE SPORTS
+CALL HER UNEXPECETEDLY
+TREAT HER GOOD
+NEVER HANG UP WITH HER
+ALWAYS KNOW WHEN SOMETHINGS' WRONG
+DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO CHEER HER UP; DON'T JUST GIVE UP BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T TELL YOU RIGHT AWAY
+NEVER SWEAR AT HER
+CALL HER AND TELL HER YOU'RE THINKING OF HER
+TELL HER YOU LOVE HER MORE THEN ANYTHING
A Pagan dies and to his great surprise he finds himself standing before some pearly gates.
[Pagan:] "Where am I?"
St. Peter: "You're at the gates of Heaven"
[Pagan:] "But I dont believe in Heaven"
St. Peter: "You're one of those arent you?"
[Pagan:] "Yes. I believe I'm in the wrong place Im supposed to be in Summerland."
St. Peter: "Sorry, We took overSummerland
[Pagan:] "What should i do now?"
Peter: "Well since we dont allow Pagans in Heaven, you'll have to go to Hell. Sorry. Just follow that path than leads down and to the left."
The Pagan walks down to Hell where the gates are standing wide open. He walks in and finds beautiful meadows, happy animals, and clear streams of water.
He walks on in and begins exploring, and after a few minutes a courtly gentleman walks up to him and bows politely.
"Hello, Im Satan. You must be the guy St. Peter called me about. Are you a Pagan?"
[Pagan:] "Yes I am. What's going to happen now?"
Satan: "Well the fishings good if you enjoy that sort of thing. There's a little refreshments stand just down the road. And I believe the Pagan meeting grounds are right over the next hill."
Suddenly a hold opens up in the sky above and a yawning chasm opens directly underneath it. The stench of sulphur and firing brimstone fills the air. Hundreds of screaming, tortured souls drop down into the flaming pit which immediately closes with a thud.
The Pagan hardly believes what he just saw.
[Pagan:] "And what was THAT?!?!"
Satan rolls his eyes: "Oh just ignore them. They're Christians, they wouldnt have it any other way."
I feel so relieved, I can finally be myself again. Go to: http://allpoet
Ramble
1) I work at Wendy's and I already hate it, I've burned myself so many times, it's not funny!
2) Why [Shougo] still acts like we're together when were not confuses me, I think he just wants the stress taken off of the relationship.
[Shougo] and i are now over....so....
I'm having problems in my life right now that are more serious than the internet. So when it's all resolved, I'll be back. Till then I'll check up every now and then.
*-this means i think it's true
[50 Things Girls Wish Guys Knew...]
1. dont tell us when you think other girls are hot.
2. whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
3. if you dont act like soap-opera guys, dont expect us to dress like Victoria Secret models.
4. mark anniversaries on a calendar.
[*]5. there is no such thing as too much spooning.
[*]6. we think about you all the time.
[*]7. this is how we see it . . . Don't call = Don't Care.
8. which also means that if we dont call, take the hint.
[*]9. we like you to be a little jealous . . . but overly possessive is not necessary.
[*]10. being able to make us laugh is so much more important than how much you can bench-press.
[*]11. return favors: we massage, you massage; we go down, you go down; we shave, you shave.
[*]12. foreplay is not an option . . . its a prerequisite.
13. we're allowed to be late . . . you are not.
[*]14. eye contact is key.
15. dont take longer to get ready than we do.
[*]16. laugh at our jokes.
[*]17. three words . . . honesty, honesty, honesty.
[*]18. girls can be groupies. guy groupies are stalkers.
19. we never have to wonder if your orgasm was real.
20. do not start with us. you will not win.
[*]21. would you like it if a guy treated your sister that way? we didnt think so.
[*]22. if you ask nicely, we usually answer the same way
23. we will never have enough clothes or shoes.
[*]24. we have an excuse to act bitchy at least once a month. As do you.
[*]25. open the door for us no matter where we are . . . even at our house and getting into the car.
[*]26. we love surprises!
[*]27. we liked to be kissed softly, not with an iron tongue.
[*][*][*]28. pay attention to the little things we do, because they mean the most.
[*]29. boxers and maybe boxer briefs sometimes . . . NEVER whitey-tightie
30. clean your room before we come over.
[*]31. always brush your teeth before you see us . . . a fresh mouth and white teeth are a necessity.
32. when we use our teeth it means that you suck at going down on us, so we are just returning the favor.
[*][*]33. even though you are sometimes insensitive and hurt us, we still love you with everything we are.
[*]34. dont act hard around your friends because i wont make you hard tonight.
[*]35. sometimes "NO!" really means "NO!"
36. "Wife Beaters" are not an adequate form of fashion.
37. if we wanted to be on video tape, we'd be a porn star not your girlfriend.
[*]38. sensitive guys are great . . . but crying more than we do in a movie just isnt right.
[*][*]39. dont let ex-girlfriends cause drama, relationships are stressful enough.
[*]40. it takes a special kind of stupid to forget birthdays.
[*] sometimes41. guys who are good cuddlers = guys who know how to satisfy a woman.
42. "Fat Chicks" have feelings too.
[*]43. silent treatment, shoulder shrugs, tears, yelling and nasty looks all add up to . . . YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG!
[*]44. the excuse "I can't dance" is unacceptable . . . we'll appreciate the simple fact that you're trying.
[*]45. just because a girl doesnt pick up on the first ring doesnt mean shes not waiting by the phone.
[*]46. you dont have to spend a lot, if it means a lot.
[*]47. dont say you love me if you dont mean it. when we say it we mean it
[*]48. dont lie to us . . . we will catch you.
[*][*]49. just because your tired doesn't mean you can blow us off like we are nothing.
[*][50. when the girls get together, we talk about EVERYTHING. Meaning my best friends know everything about you.]
12 Ways To Get To A Girls Heart-- 1. Hugs her from behind. 2. Grab her hand when you guys walk next to each other. 3. When standing, wrap your arms around her. 4. Cuddle with her. 5. Dont force her to do ANYTHING! 6. Write little notes. 7. Compliment her. 8. When you hug her, hold her in your arms as long as possible. 9. Say I love you.....and MEAN IT! 10. Brush the hair out of her eyes 11. Comfort her when she cries. 12. Love her with all your heart Girls- Repost this if you think its sweet. Guys- Repost this if you would do any of it
Let's give up
I'm tired of trying to impress people my age. All I would have to do is lay back and do drugs and drink. But then I wouldn't be me. I feel as if the past 24 hours has been the down fall of my emotions, body, and soul. I feel like shit the only thing that keeps me a bit alive is the orange soda. I'm supposed to be really happy to be turning 16, but all I feel is depression.
I'm tired of all of thes:
-drug addicts that show it off like it's an award to see how fucked up your body can get until you start having granny seisures like my uncle
-these "sex addicts" who are all about the sex, get aids and fucking die
-smokers, go pollute your own lungs in a cealed room so that you're nicotine can coat those walls till they become yellow so i don't have to die of your cancer sticks
-worthless people
*wines*
my boyfriend has this friend who like probably hates me. it figures i put forth the effort to be nice and all he does is get annoyed with me. maybe i should give up. he was all like "i'm here to talk to his friends, not his gf." my mistake now watch me suffer a discussion like alex used to give me.