look the tears are starting to flow now im even more useless.why do i cry why,in my family the guys arnt sopposed to show emotion why am i doing that now why.now im even less worthy to have the same name as my father.im so hopeless and i cant stop crying.

i may be gone for awhile after today plus i miss rping on sublime hatred yall should try it its very good and has good people on it i just f*cked it all up for myself,omg i hate my life my moms out of the hospital shes totaly yelling every second at me for being me im just sick and tired of it,my dads always cussing at me cause im always listening to Kiss,im just tired of life at the moment i just want to cry but i cant,im sorry im leting this all out on you my freinds and i apologize

The person I never wanted to be,
is the perosn I see most frenquently

he smears on a fake smile with force to make himself feel happy.
he longs for love because he needs it so bad.

he reaches out for help,
when help is not needed.

he reaches out for the bottle.
and is self concious and has low self esteam,

the strength needed for him to get along is hidden behind his fake smile.
and denys that he is not okay and says he is fine behind a fake smile

the thoughts that run through his mind are not normal
he lives to die.

the guy I see in the mirror is some one i hoped to never be.
the guy I see in the mirror is me.

heres another basicaly same message diff pic

http://elfpack.com/img/image/42552_1155014108.jpg

I MADE THIS BANNER AT PAINT SHOP PRO HERES THE LINK(http://elfpack.com/img/image/42552_1155013608.jpg)THE OTHER ONES ARE OUT DATED

i have 2 banners to choose from





here are the codes

http://i68.photobucket.com/albums/i32/elf_person/clip_banner.jpg
http://i68.photobucket.com/albums/i32/elf_person/vegetabanner.jpg

wat i fear
[] the dark
[] staying single forever
[] being a parent
[] being myself in front of others
[] open spaces
[X] closed spaces/ heights
[] cats
[] dogs
[] birds
[] spiders and/or other insects
[] driving or being in cars
[] flying
[] flowers or other plants
[] being touched
[] fire
[] water
[] the ocean
[] failure
[] success
[] germs
[]thunder/lightning
[]frogs/toads
[] mice/rats
[] jumping from high places
[] snow
[] rain
[] wind
[] cotton balls
[] cemeteries
[] clowns
[] large crowds
[] crossing bridges
[] death
[] Heaven
[] being robbed (Bitch I beat their ass)
[] men
[] women
[] having great responsibility
[] doctors
[] tornadoes
[] hurricanes
[] diseases
[] daylight
[] sharks
[] Friday the 13th
[] poverty
[] ghosts
[] Halloween
[] school
[] trains or railroads
[] odd numbers
[] even numbers
[] being alone
[] being blind...
[] being deaf
[] growing up
[]monsters under my bed
[] creepy noises during the night
[] bee stings
[] not accomplishing my dreams/goals
[] needles
[] blood
[] long words
[] Being kidnapped