T • A • U • R • U • S: The Freak in bed
Aggressive. Freak in bed. Rare to find! Loves being in long relationships Likes to give a good fight for what they want. Extremely outgoing. Sexy as ...u no!..... Loves to help people in times of need. Outstanding kisser. Very funny. Awesome personality. Stubborn. Sexual as ......... Most caring person you will ever meet! One of a kind. Not one to fuck with. Are the most sexiest people on earth! 15 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, 'Tell me, Mary, who created the universe '

When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. 'God Almighty !' shouted Mary and the teacher said, 'Very good' and Mary fell back to sleep.

A while later the teacher asked Mary, 'Who is our Lord and Savior ' But Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. 'Jesus Christ ' shouted Mary and the teacher said, 'Very good,' and Mary fell back to sleep.

Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, 'What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child ' And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, 'If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half '

The Teacher fainted.





Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before
Woman : Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty
Woman : Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine
Woman : Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living
Woman : I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign
Woman : Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning
Woman : Unfertilized

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman : Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman : But would you stay there

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman : If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing

One night, he decides to bring his girlfriend home for a little fun.
They
have bunk beds and the guy notices hat his little brother is already
asleep
on the lower bunk, so he and his girlfriend climb up to the top bunk.
As you
might expect things start to heat up.
The guy remembers that his little brother is sleeping below so he tells
his
girlfriend to whisper "lettuce" if she wants it harder and "tomato" if
she
wants a new position.
Lettuce!!!
Tomato!!!
Lettuce!!!
Tomato!!!
Lettuce!!!
Tomato!!!
She screams.
Lettuce!!!
Tomato!!!
Whoa!!!
PULL IT OUT!!!
PULL IT OUT NOW
I can't get pregnant!
Then the little brother shouts up, "Hey, would you guys stop making
sandwiches up there! You're getting mayonnaise all over my
face!*!*!*!*!

If there was something you wanted to tell me what would it be?

" What I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that though I do not know you and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you."
- (V for Vendetta)

ღ

a peach is a peach














































a plum is a plum






























































a kiss aint a kiss without some tongue





















































so open your mouth and close your eyes give your tongue some exercise













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[God made whisky, God made pepsi]
[God made me so fukin sexy]
[God made rivers, God made lakes]
[God made you, well we all make mistakes]




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[I wanna give you a hug but,
a hug leads to a kiss,
a kiss leads to a lick,
a lick leads to a suck,
and a suck leads to a fuck.
hmm... wanna hug?!]

What you are about to read is unbelievable

New York City has 11 letters
Afghanistan has 11 letters
Ramsin Yuseb (The terrorist who threatened to destroy the Twin Towers in 1993) has 11 letters
George W Bush has 11 letters

Coincidence?
It gets more interesting!

New York is the 11th state
The first plane crashing against the Twin Towers was flight 11
Flight 11 was carrying 92 passengers (9+2= 11)
Flight 77 which also hit the Twin Towers was carrying 65 passengers (6+5=11)

The tragedy was on September 11 or 9/11, as it is now known (9+1+1=11)
The date is equal to the US emergency services number 911 (9+1+1=11)

Still think it is a coincidence?
READ ON!

The total number of victims inside all the hijacked planes was 254 (2+5+4=11)
September 11 is the 254th day of the calendar. (2+5+4=11)

The Madrid Bombing took place on 3/11/2004 (3+1+1+2+4=11)
The Madrid bombing took place 911 days after the Twin Towers incident

The most recognised symbol in the USA after the stars and stripes is the Eagle
The following verse is taken from the Quran the holy Islamic Book:

“For it is written that a son of Arabia would awaken a fearsome Eagle.
The wrath of the eagle would be felt throughout the lands of Allah and lo, while some of the people trembled in despair still some rejoiced:
For the wrath of the Eagle cleansed the lands of Allah and there was peace.”

That verse is number 9.11 of the Quran

NOW TRY THIS!!!
This is the freaky part.

Open Microsoft word and do the following

Type in capitals Q33 NY (this is the plane number of the plane which first crashed into the Twin Towers)
Highlight this
Change the font size to 48
Change the font to WINGDINGS

roses are red
viloets are bule
u make me cry inside
when i look at u
u know my i luv u
u know my plea
and just for a second i thought u luved me
i wished and i prayed
for the day u would come around
but im still waitin
here on the ground
4 u to say u luv me
and to say u that want me
but just for a second
i thought u luved me

[~!10 Ways to a gurls heart!~
1. Hug her from behind.
2. Grab her hand when you walk next to her.
3. When standing, wrap your arms around her.
4. Cuddle with her.
5. Don't force her to do anything.
6. Write little notes for her.
7. Compliment her.
8. When you hug her, hold her in your arms as long as possible.
9. Say "I love you!" and mean it.
10. Tell all your friends how lucky you are to have her.]

[Don't EVER leave the one you love for the one you like because the one you like will leave you for the one they love... tonight your true love will realize how much they love you. between 1 & 4 in the morning, tomorrow the shock of your life will occur. if you break the chain then you will have bad luck...
.:.:.:.
$$$$$$$$$$
.:.:.:.
If you REALLY LIKE SOMEONE right now AND MISS THEM and can't get them out of your head then re-post this within 1 mintute and whoever you are missing will surprise you..]

¨·.·I May not Get 2 see U as often As I Would Like,I May not Get 2 Hold U all through The night,But deep inside my heart,I Know That This Is True,No Matter What I do,I Will alwayz Luv u·.·´

I Dont Deserve friends, I dont deserve love, I dont deserve life and I wish someone would take away my pain.

---------------[-Girls-]-------------
----------[-are like apples-]-----
------[-on trees. The best ones-]----
----[-are at the top of the tree.-]----
--[-The boys dont want to reach-]--
-[-for the good ones because they-]-
[-r afraid of falling and getting hurt.-]
[-Instead, they get the rotten apples-]
[from the ground that arent as good,]
[but easy. So the apples up top think]
[something wrong w/ them when in]
[-reality they're amazing. They just-]-
--[-have to wait for the right boy to]
---[-come along, the one who's-]
----------[-brave enough to-]----
--------------[-climb all-]--------
--------------[-the way-]-------
-------------[-to the top-]-------

If you REALLY LIKE SOMEONE right now AND MISS THEM and can't get them out of your head then re-post this within 1 mintute and whoever you are missing will surprise you..]