DEcEPtIon

I found myself sleeping in once again
fighting natural animal instincts
i feel i am no longer the same
i have been deteriorating
no longer strong enough
to go on with this sherade
i try...
to make myself apear as human as possible
but while pretending to be something i am not
i disgust myself to the fullest extent
i dispize humans
and to be forced to act and live
with such a race of loathsome beings
torments my soul and breaks my spirit.
but...
while these beings are indeed corrupt
they harbor many emotions, that i am incapable of understanding,
and perhaps these emotions are what causes this race's corruption
they bare, sentimentality,hope, fear,trust, hatred
and the most loathsome of all emotions..
LOVE
I almost gave into these emotions but.. while experiencing these sentimentalities and their pain
I was able catch myself
and save my soul from human corruption
and pehaps a fate, worst than death.
now I live in fear of the next chance they will have to taint my heart
and attempt to destroy me...
I may never sleep well again.

Reflection and Rejection of self


This night the mirror cast a shadow of who i use to be.
i look to the other side that is now me,
where the darkness flows
and despair is more inviting than the alternative.
I fear nothing but my opposit self
who shows a face filled with hope and lies.
I banish this human heart to the mirror
where I shall be forever haunted by it's reflection
A reflection of who I almost became;
a weak human heart poisoned by all who surround me.
I dislike this vulnerable self and so...
i decided i must rid my soul of such an impurity.
I allow myself to harden once more,
to block away these weak human emotions
that threaten to polute my soul.
I have saved myself.
For the human race is so badly corupt and tainted,
that I will have no part in it.