[~AzureSkyy.]'s diary

5100  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2005-01-04
Written: (7265 days ago)

[AzureSkyy]'s Poetry! Yaaay! xD



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Love Rain and Tears
By: ~[AzureSkyy]


With all that was, I wanted to cry for you ...
with all that is, I still want to love you ...

You are not pretty
I do not like you
If you walked away, I would not stop you

Beyond the reach of human range,
is a drop of hell,
with a touch of strange
wherein resides the demon of Love

You are not pretty .. you are beautiful
I do not like you .. I love you heart mind and soul
If you walked away .. I would not stop you .. I would die as I lay, silent tears eroding my silent love

You are not my life you are my love,
you are not my happiness,
you are the sole thing I look forward to each day
to be with you
to hold your hand
to cling to when you are scared

to fall into my arms when you want to cry ...
to just make everything in the world seem ... right for all eternity.

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Alone and Lonely
By: ~[AzureSkyy]


Alone in this nightmare
Alone in this twilight

No one to guide me
No one to hide me

Alone in this hatred
Alone in this fear

No one to console me
No one to control me

Alone and lonely
Always here
With no one
Beside me

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Surrounded On Six Sides
By: ~[AzureSkyy]


Locked up inside of myself
Which way to run, nowhere to hide
Surrounded on six sides

The trail is winding the path is narrow
no room to move no time to think
no where to hide surrounded on each and every side

Locked uip inside of my mind
Dodging these thoughts, killing the urges
Squelching my wants needs, my hopes and dreams

Locked up inside of my heart
It's a betrayal within itself
Burning with passion, ablaze with hate

And I'm locked up insde of myself
Fire and ice, wind rain and flame
Nowhere to hide, because I'm surrounded on six sides.

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Gone Away With Everything - Written for anyone I ever loved ...
By: ~[AzureSkyy]


You're my hopes
You're my dreams

And my wants
And my needs

You are everything to me
You are all that I need

You hold my heart in your hand
And my feelings in your palm

And while you're gone .. I walk alone
With none of those things

Sullen and distant I'm
Full of scorn because I'm torn
Away from myself away from you
Away from the world

Because you've gone
Away with everything and left me ...
Empty.

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The Secret of Me
By: ~[AzureSkyy]


My mind is a blank
My heart is a void
My soul is a chasm
All of no return

I feel ... Nothing
I love ... Nothing
I hate ... Nothing
I sense ... Nothing

But I want to feel
I want to be real
I need to feel!
I must be real!

All I have are my thoughts
Distant from nothing
Unable to focus
Unable to do
Unable to be

I'm no Pinnochio ... But ..
I still want to be a real boy!


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I'm Nothing Like Me
By: ~[AzureSkyy]


As I snuggle with you
And you cuddle with me
I look back on it all
And realize ..
That you know nothing of me

Because I'm a different person in this world that we converse in
It's nothing like me, only a part of my mind

It's who I want to be, who I can't be
And you fell in love with him
And he fell in love with you

And yet ... Who is he?
He is my thoughts
He is what I always wanted to say
He is a gentleman, a confidante, and so much more
But alas, he is not me

But alas again, I would that we could become
One, one time is all it takes ..
To reinvent myself
Would be ..
A great adventure

Am I ready? Where would I start? How would it end? How are we to know .. If it will be worth it .. By the end?

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A Poisoned Mind
By: ~[AzureSkyy]


All your lies breed poison in my eyes
All your hate breeds fire in my heart
And all your bravado breeds doubt in my mind

Everything I'm afflicted with
And all you infect me with
It breeds poison in my eyes
Fire in my heart
And doubt in my mind

I'm slowly dying in a lunatic freefall
Save me save me

I can't be saved
It's too late now
I've got no need to fly
Only to die

And to take you with me
As my eternal companion
Because you're the only one

Who wanted to save me.

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Dead To You
By: ~[AzureSkyy]


As I cry these tears
I close my eyes

And I see you
And look at you as you look into my eyes

With tears in your's

Why are you crying?
I reach up to wipe the tears away
But the muscles won't move
I try to ask what's wrong
But the sound won't come
As I try to look around
The blood begins to flow

It flows into my eyes and across my cheeks into my ears
I feel your chest against me, your heart beating, breathing
Rise .. fall .. shudder

And in that moment I realize that mine wasn't beating with your's ... And that you're crying for me
Because I'm dead to you but still alive to me
And I can still see ..
Which is the worst thing that ever was

Because I'm looking through eyes long dead
Into the eyes of my love
Whose eyes I know
Are now dead inside.

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Crimson Skyy
By: ~[AzureSkyy]


The is black, with suspended clouds
Scarlet clouds, laden with a crimson rain
The moon hangs purple, bruised and beaten
An arc of light flashes on a

Barren and desolate land with a lonely boy
Handss in pockets, head hung in shame and angst
Walking away from himself and the world
Falling blissfully into his own private illusion
Where there is no sorrow and there is no angst

This is my world, created by whim and will
Sustained by love and all of this thunder

But it's falling apart and that makes you wonder
So you asked the boy in the book
And he told you
But you wouldnt listen


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Flash & Burn
By: ~[AzureSkyy]


As I cry these tears
I thrust my fingers into mine eyes

It's my only escape
To finally stop the rage
And once the rage is gone
I realize what I've done

Since the pain is gone
I look into my eyes
The blood is dry the feeling is gone
But the sight is gone away with it
And I slowly start to burn

Inside and outside burn it all
Watch them bleed watch me fall
Pain to all pleasure to none

Swallowed in darkness embraced in flame
When the world tears itself asunder
We shall succumb to all of this thunder.

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66 Days
By: ~[AzureSkyy]


I'm waiting for you
Waiting for the one day
When all my dreams come True
And I can hold myself against you

I'd give it all away
Just to hold you in my arms, and try to make you laugh
I'd give it all away
Just to run away with you

I'm counting the days
Until I can walk the mountains with you
But first when i arrive
We'll sit in a box
And talk the night away
There's 66 days left
And I'm still counting down

So many obstacles and such precious time
I don't know if I can bear
To ask what I need to ask:
Will you let me spend
My first Christmas as a broken family
Fifteen hundred miles away?

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I Are Who I Be
By: ~[AzureSkyy]


Every day I question my destiny
Every day I wonder about my fate
Every day .. I ask myself ..
Is it meant to be this way?

I don't slouch because I'm lazy or defiant
I do because it's comfortable
I don't draw on myself because I want to be different
I do because I'm bored
I don't do well in school because I'm defiant or lazy

I'm just tired of it all.

Tired of these questions
Sick of these trials
Despaired by your judgement
And through it all I still have the strength
To toss out a smile, once in a while

And still I get ignored by many
Yet adored by some?

All of you people I ask: Why? Is it that I'm
Not good enough for you?
Only because you're not good enough for me.
I are who I be, even if you're not like me.

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Ultimatum - Dedicated to my teachers, Tom Prosen, Julie Haen, and Sarah Wilman.
By: ~[AzureSkyy]


Oh I'm torn apart beaten down
I begin with an endless sigh
As you shred the flesh of my eyes

Why do you do this to me, what've I done
But enter your sanctum with the will to excel
Instead of obey?

You tear me down and slice me up
And then you say with complete sincerity:

But we can work together!

I've got this pain in my back
That I can't put my finger on
Something akin to a knife
But...
Damned if it's not a battleaxe.

Scrath my back and I'll
Stick an axe in your's
That's all I can hear

You want me to succeed but that's
Not what I need.

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Acid Rain
By: ~[AzureSkyy]


Everything's falling
And I'm right underneath it all

They say that ... "When it rains it pours"
Well ... This rain burns

The sky is bleeding and so are we
As I die she's too from away from me
I should be bleeding blood and tears
But right now I'm just a puddle of acid and fears

The sky's falling down
Like a broken bed of lies

Dazed and dying I'm crawling
On my eroded skeleton I'm breakin' down
Trying to save her
But she's not there
She's already dead, a puddle of blood rain and memories

How did this happen why is she dead why did all of it happen ... it's alltoomuchforme imgoinginsanecantbreathe
I'mlosingmyselfcantthinkaboutanythingbutallofmymemoriesflying
Thenwhipphingthroughfivelifetimesandthenitsall
G O N E . . .

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Why Can't I?
By: ~[AzureSkyy]


Why can't I think?
Why can't I hate?
Why can't I fear?

I've just had a
Catastrophe of my sanity
But i still can't feel anything ...

Why has my rage gone?
Why can't I hurt
WHY AM I SO EMPTY?!
How come I can't cry
Why can't I just die already ...

This town is a poison
It's people are a disease
My house is a prison
And my bed is only the place
That I go to die at each nightfall

Why can't I fight it all
I'm going distant with my own madness
Away from my anger
All because I've never been able to to feel anger

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Mess With The Best
By: ~[AzureSkyy]


Fire and Ice, Wind Rain & Flame ...

I'm fallin down in a suicide freefall
And it's neverending

I can't take this pain
Anymore
I'm flying dead and it's killin me
I'm fallin down and I can't stop me
But now I'm flying high but I can't help but
Wonder why
Everything's alright but the Thunder still
£ie§ ...

How did I die
Was it for the best did I only die like
All the rest?

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My Teddy Bear
By: ~[AzureSkyy]


I just wanna curl up
And die
Crawl into a corner
Crawl into my bed
And die this night for the final time

I'm not dying slowly anymore
My emotional teddy bear
Was taken away from me
And now I'm all alone

"Look at the bright side of things"
That's what they say
But I couldn't see the light if I wanted to
I can't even see the dark
Because my world is painted grey
And so is my heart

I've nothing to look forward to
You stole it all from me
My chance to hold my teddy bear ...
And now it needs me more than I ever needed it
But I can't give it even one more hug
Because you locked it away from me
For now and forever
It's forever lost to me.

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What Am I?
By: ~[AzureSkyy]


I'm scared of myself
But I can't feel the fear
I'm terrified of what I've done to you
But I'm already over that
I hate myself for it
But I don't care what I think

What am I what have I become?
I can't die
I can't cry
I can't lie
I can't fight
I can't even set things right

But most of all ..
I can't love.

Fiona, everything I've ever said
I meant every single word
But what drives me to madness, makes me a sadist
Is that everytime I said "I love you"
I never felt a thing. I never felt sorry even though I
Meant it each and every time.

I hate my body I hate my mind I hate my heart
But none of them care, even a single ounce.

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What I've Never Been
By: ~[AzureSkyy]


I've never been happy
I don't know why
I can't remember the last time I smiled
Really smiled, a real smile ...

I've never been sad
Not really. I was sad when I was
Cut out of another's heart once
But not really.
It didn't last more than a day

I' never been angry, either
I can clench my fists
And slam the door until the icicles shatter
But I was only trying to see if I could be mad
And still it's not the same

I can't remember last
When I shed a tear for myself

And not
Just to put someone at ease

But I'm crying now
It's still not for me
But I still mean it
Because it's for you, Fi.


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Sadistic Incubus [*]
By: ~[AzureSkyy]


I want to cry the ruthless tears of power
I want to bleed the burning blood of anger

I want to rule you
I want to cower you
I want to see you Borken and Beaten
I want to see you cry in fear
I want to see that fear in the air
I want to walk upon your fears
I want to drink that fear

And laugh


Omnipotent and all powerful is what I want to be


I shall watch you bleed
Whip you with all mine anger

I shall watch you die
Even as you look into mine eyes

I shall watch you suffer
Knowing that I can only kill you once

I shall watch you cry
As I massacre every bit your feelings, tear them asunder in all your wonder

I shall watch you in horror
Knowing that I can do everything I ever wanted to do to you

And not feel a thing

Because I've lost all that I ever had
At the point in my life
Where I had nothing at all

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Psychoanalysis Autopsy [*]
By: ~[AzureSkyy]

I'm frigid and empty
For all these years
I've been killing my peace
To restore my calm

Does it make sense?
Am I going inane?
I think so
Because after all this time
I've finally driven myself insane

It wasn't supposed to be like this
Thinking these thoguths
I've thought my thoughts to death
And then I thought my emotions to death, too

And now there's nothing left to kill but my inner peace
And eventually, that will curl up and die along with

The rest of me

Through all the psycho-analysis
I've done the impossible
Attained emotional immortality

Immortality of the heart
Like any other
Is more a curse than a blessing
Because I can try to feel
I want it all to be real
But it's not real
My world
My illusion
It was all painted grey
And now I've drawn the same brush against myself

Because I'm tired of hiding me from you
So I began to hide me from myself

And now I've gone passively insane,
Inane from death by thought

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Frostburn [*]
By: ~[AzureSkyy]


You were
The breeze fluttering underneath my wings

But then it got cold
So, so cold, cold ...
And the air left my lungs
And then you were stolen from under my wings

Now I'm falling farther than I've ever fallen before
There's an edge to my coldness

So cold it burns
And you shy away from my hand as I touch your face
Shy away from the words that I speak
Because they bite in a way no teeth ever could

My heart beats with liquid rage
A rage that fills the room
And not just your veins
With the scent of blood
So, so, warm, warm

It's flowing from my body

A liquid power, a tangible acid, a forceful flame
It flows over you and over me, back unto you and back once more into me
To be placed in the seething cauldron of my anguish
What's a few more torrents ontop of all this torment?

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Fenced In Fate [*]
By: ~[AzureSkyy]


Locked in
Fenced out
I'm no longer flying
Only trying to fly away
Try to get away
Slip through the ripples of time

Slip through, right into the lap of oblivion

Blank and empty,
Emptiness is what you make it
But for some reason, all I can do is fake it

I lay my naked heart in my palm

And stare at it
While I wonder
Why I'm still living
When my life is sitting atop my wrist

And then I remembered
That I don't need my heart to live
I need it for ... For what?
What for, why, how come?

What for? To feel the ache of a lover's desire
Why? To make light of your fright .. And make sure everything's alright
How come? Because I can't feel love for you ... But that doesn't mean that you can't love me ...
Or am I only illusioning mineself once more
On this momentous date
Where my fate
Is decided for me once more and forever
Out of my control, nothing I could ever do to save myself
Only hand myself right over to you

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What I Want For Christymus [*]
By: ~[AzureSkyy]


Oh Santa what'm I going to do?
It's almost Christymus and I've got nothing down on this listof mine
What could be so divine that I could just wish it to be here
And have it be mine?

Santa you're such a silly, working yourself into a furvor

Sneaking into my house,
When I don't want presents for opening
Just cyanide in my stocking

And a shot of valium
Wrapped in a prettyful purple box


Santa don't look at me like that

Why are you taking my cute bunny hat?
I loved that hat like an aunt

Stop looking at me
Like I've got something wrong with me
I'm only being unique
Like I'm supposed to be
So now I fit in!
Isn't it a joy
To be just like you
And still be just like me?

Not really it isn't
So I'm gonna change me
To be only me
And be free of depression
To blend with my passive-aggression
And no longer be special and unique
But now I'm branded a freak

I'm wrong to want what I want
So you haunt me with sympathy
And bathe me with empathy
But still hold in your hand
My simple desire
To die happy and bliss

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Peace & Calm
By: ~[AzureSkyy]


All these years
Of all my life
I've been killing the peace
To restore the calm

But now ... This is how it is ...


I want to see you suffer
I want to feel your pain
I wish I could watch you squirm
I dream of drinking your pain

I want to squelch your heart
I wanna touch your soul
I wanna ruin your life
I want to take control!

To be powerful and not pitiful
I don't want to start a war
Just to shock you all ...

I don't want to hide
Only to stay invisible
I only want to run
Away..
From your..
Control!

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So Many Things
By: ~[AzureSkyy]


I wish
I could have
So many things
That I've got to wait to have

To be older
To be stronger
To be free
To be faster

To be me

I want all of these things

But I havve to wait
And I can't wait any longer

I' drowning in dissatisfaction

Drowning in time
Sinking into numbness
Time wants to keep my head down
And I'm out of air.

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Just A Phase - Dedicated to all the authority-oppressed. We know how it is.
By: ~[AzureSkyy]


You could lie a million lies
Scream out all your fears
Or tear out both your eyes

But you and I know
That they'd never look twice
Or even once
They wouldn't look at all

Because they know it's just a phase
They know you'll be alright
They know nothing will go wrong
Because they're in control of your life

But what if they aren't right?
What happens if you didn't read me right
You can't know what I need
Or have an inkling of my thoughts
You could never know how I feel

This nightmare can't be real

Not even I know how I feel
It's far too surreal for anything to be real
When you just simply don't feel.

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Nobody Knows - Dedicated to all the little kids that ever got picked on.
By: ~[AzureSkyy]


Nobody knows who the little boy in the hall is
He's walking faster today and blinking too much
But he isn't heart-broken
But he isn't mad
He's only lonely
But you didn't know that


So you pitied him for a while
And then you forgot
All about him

Then he shows up again in your life
He's still got that sad look, the too-fast walk, and the rapi-blink ..
But there's no pity in you anymore, you wasted it on yourself
This time you're lauging
Laughing and not thinking
It makes the boy put his head down just a little bit farther, walk a little bit faster
And then his eyes flutter
Like a butterfly
On shattered wings.

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Are We Over?
By: ~[AzureSkyy]


Why do you shy away from me
You're my only friends

You think you're saving me from something
But you're only harming me with that something

Don't leave me alone ...
I don't wanna be alone..

As I lay awake, alone in my private illusions
I start to dream .... About you
I want to touch your hand
I want to see your eyes
I want to taste your lips
I want to thrive in your surprise

I want to be with you

Are we over, is it through?
I'm not sure, you never called
I want to move on while still holding on
It'll never be over or me if I can't stip thinking about you ...
I don't want to carry your torch anymore .. But it makes me feel ...
So warm ...
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Should I Tell You?
By: ~[AzureSkyy]


Should I tell you?
Tell me what?
That I like you
Even though I feel beholden to another.
...
Even though you're already taken, too.

Why do I want such ludacris things
Why do I have to be this way ... To want
What I can't have .. All the time?

I don't want to break what you're
Made with him ... But I want to be
With you
Today you asked me if I liked you..
I answered truthfully (it's so hard to lie ..)
"Sure," said I
DId I lie? I don't think so.

I want him to have a chance with you
He's got a good heart ... But he's not good enough for you.
Even though you love him .. And he makes you happy most times ..
So I'll let it go, let it be, because your lif
Is not up to me
Be happy be free be how you want to be.

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Zealot
By: ~[AzureSkyy]


I'm torn and hurt and scared

I want to be alone
I want to be alone
I want you  but
I can't have you
If I can't have you  then
I want to only be alone.

I've become a zealot on my own desire for things I can't acquire.

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All for One, and One for All
By: ~[AzureSkyy]


I want to drown in my troubles
Cast away my fears
Shut out all the anger
And bottle up the tears

All for One and One for All
I sold it all to give myself one chance
And that one chance didn't just disinigrate sorrowfully
That one chance .. I took it, incubated it within my heart.

I let it grow because it allowed my blood to flow
And then one day when I was about to let it go
Everything stopped flowing ...


All for One and One for All.



That one thing ..
Ruined it all.

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Just Keep Wondering [*] - Dedicated to my father, Mike.
By: ~[AzureSkyy]


Choking on my anger
Drowning in my fear
Seething in this fury
Trembling in all this hatred

Clouding my vison
Killing me softly
Killing me slowly

You're talking calm and I tremble in hatred
You're talking me down while I seeth in my fury
You're walking that old path while I drown in fear
It's all for nothing
Because you can't see past my mask

You throw this shit on me

Pile it onto me
Fill my world with it
And spill it all over the sky
Clouding my vision

It's crashing down
You threw it at me, and then you send me away
Away to the shrink, away to the psyche, away from you and all your lies
You send me there and still...
HOW DO YOU WONDER WHY I FEEL THIS WAY?

Clouding my vision
Killing me softly
Killing me slowly

Why am I so mad?
Maybe it's because ...
                    You're an asshole.
Maybe it's because
                   You left me alone.
Maybe it's because
                  You said "I promise"
Maybe it's the same reason
That your wife left us all.
                 You're still an asshole.
                And she's too weak.

Clouding your vision
Killing you softly
Killing you slowly

I hope
You choke
On your fucking blankets.


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You [*] - Dedicated to my father, Mike.
By: ~[AzureSkyy]


I want ...
To get out of this house
To get out of this town
To get out of this county
To get out of this state
To get out of this country
To get out of this prison

But you're the warden
And you keep following me
Wanting to know what's wrong
When the only thing wrong is you

You
It's always been you.
You and all your lies
You and all your promises
You and all your dementia
You and all your calm ....

It's always been you.

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Falling Hard [*]  -  Written for anyone I've ever loved too much ...
By: ~[AzureSkyy]


Why do I fall so hard
Everytime I fall in love
I fall for eternity
And it lasts forever
Until forever crashes into the land of
Never again.

I fall for you and
I'll never be untrue
Until I hear you say
"We're through"
After that ...
I can't even look at you anymore
Because I still love you
I fell hard
It fell through
But I'm still in love with you.

<img620*0:http://elftown.lysator.liu.se/stuff/banner5.jpg>


Teeth, Nails, Sex, Blood, And Blades [*]
By: ~[AzureSkyy]


I've been holding back for so very long
Trying to make myself known to you
But never taking that final step

   Are you done is it over
     Can we finally begin out fairytale?
       I'll bring the flowers and poetry
         You bring the whips and razors
Because I like teeth and nails with my sex and blood.

I don't want to strip on the table
      But don't think I won't tease in private.

<img620*0:http://elftown.lysator.liu.se/stuff/banner5.jpg>


Love & Lust
By: ~[AzureSkyy]


  I love it when you hug me
Because I lust after your touch
  I love it when you look at me
Because I lust after the look in your eyes
  I love it when we cuddle
Because I lust after your comfort

       I crave the feel of you in my arms
            The look in your eyes
     And the feel of the smooth line of your body
           Laying against my own

I could just fall asleep
                if only you'd let me
                              have all of that.

<img620*0:http://elftown.lysator.liu.se/stuff/banner5.jpg>


Forever (Is just one Lifetime after Eternity)
By: ~[AzureSkyy]


A lifetime after eternity fades and forever is past
 I may get to finally
   Lay eyes upon you
 If memory allows
    We'll . . .
     Run to each other
      And drown in the passion
       Embrace the lust
        And give in to the love
         And take our very first hug
          Melt into that very first kiss
           Dissolve into love long forsaken
            And dance the first dance
             Of the lover's heart
              With life in unison
               One heart
                One body
                 One mind
                  One need ...

 To be loved

                                                           Forever


In this lifetime


                                                                  After Eternity


<img620*0:http://elftown.lysator.liu.se/stuff/banner5.jpg>


Why Do I Try
By: ~[AzureSkyy]


Why do I try to win your affections
Why do I try to win your attentions

Why do I try to make you laugh
Why do I try to soothe your tears
Why do I try ... When there are so many more worthy ... of you?

I try ... Because I care for you
I try ... Because I don't want to see you cry
I try ... Because I want to prove myself to you
But first ... You have to look at me.
And I try because, above all else, I want to see you happy,
Even if it makes me sad.


I can take away all your pain.


If only you'd allow me.


<img620*0:http://elftown.lysator.liu.se/stuff/banner5.jpg>


Love's Illusion
By: ~[AzureSkyy]


Love ... love love love ..
I think love may be the single most enchanting thing
Ever dreamt of.

It ... Enchants your senses ....
      Bespells your mind ...
      Enthralls your heart ..

Love will drive a man to initiate a war
 For the small reward of visiting his lover one more time before dying on the battlefield
Love whittles away appearances

 Beauty is in the eye of the beholder
 But love is in the eyes of the lover, transforming their one true
 Into another of perfection
 Imperfections are not ignored ... Only accepted as another thing
 That makes her the most beautiful thing this side of the moon.

Love ... Love is love, people. It means something different
To us all. Each and every love .. Is unique.

Every love bring a different feeling, and a new illusion
All of them hurt ... But the love never dies. You'll
Always see your love
Apart from all the others ...
Because no matter how hard you try ...
Feelings never die.


<img620*0:http://elftown.lysator.liu.se/stuff/banner5.jpg>


Behind Wintered Eyes [*]
By: ~[AzureSkyy]


  You were hiding out in the open
 Searching so hard


 For a kiss that lasts forever
 There on the boulevard
  Behind wintered eyes

  And then I found you
 Laying amongst the flowers
 Playing Does He Love Me

  In a bed of Forget Me Nots

  It was true love
  Of the most romantic air
 
  Everyday I'd read to you
  And you'd serenade me

  Reading by midnight
 Serenade by twilight
 And waking up beside you
 In the dawn's awakening
 Was the most perfect thing
  To ever be known

  A lover like no other, creative to the end
 A pair without a care to spare
 And a half
 That was once whole
 Now completes itself
 With nary a tear
  But the tears of harmony

<img620*0:http://elftown.lysator.liu.se/stuff/banner5.jpg>


Everything Will Be - Written for anyone who ever told me "It'll be alright it'll be okay"
By: ~[AzureSkyy]


Sometimes you tell me ...
"Everything will be alright, everything'll be okay ..."
But since then, I haven't been alright, nothing's been okay
I don't even know what to say (anymore ..)

Because there's nothing anyone can say
That can pick up the pieces of our shatter morals
Nothing you can say
To repair our flooded moral high-ground
Nothing you can say
Can wash this hurt away

And everytime I hear "It'll be okay,"
I think to myself that it would be amazing
If I could make it but one more day.

<img620*0:http://elftown.lysator.liu.se/stuff/banner5.jpg>


Sapphire Tears and Crimson Eyes
By: ~[AzureSkyy]


I'll leave you my shoulder
And offer up a tear
My glimmering silhouette
That follows every fresh burst of fear

When you cry those sapphire tears
The night dips them with starshine
When you cry those sapphire tears ...
May my breath freeze
   For an eternal lifetime
May my heart seize
   For another aeon

I try to walk by
But it's so hard to breathe
When you're choking on air flooded with need
You want me to throw away the darkness
Since you can't embrace it
Let's just face it ...
Your expression taught me a lesson:
That if you scream out all your fears
It reaches no one's ears.

<img620*0:http://elftown.lysator.liu.se/stuff/banner5.jpg>


This Side Of The Moon

By: ~[AzureSkyy]



This poem is dedicated to Laura Leigh Blaine, [Sweet destiny], without whom I may not walk this earth as a human, but as a soulless, broken being with nothing to live by ...




I've been Broken up and Beaten down
Used by them and throw around
Where is my savior where is my angel
Can you grant me sanctuary can I be Saved?
Save me save me please try don't let me die
Because I'm lost without you and
You'd be lost without me



You're my teddy bear, love
Your laugher is what lets me say
I can make it another day
Your voice gives me life
Your words make me whole



And your comfort deflects the blade of strife
I need to have you near me, because without you, I couldn't help but cry
Only why does it have to be this way? Why why why?
Together we make a person, but alone we can't even fly
Alone we break ... Like another's shattered bed of lies
...You can't give butterfly kisses...
...If you have broken wings...



We need to find our own person
Who can give us those wings
So that we can fly away to anywhere at all
Because we're the most beautiful things
This side of the moon.



<img620*0:http://elftown.lysator.liu.se/stuff/banner5.jpg>


Unique - Written for anyone I've tried to help and hasn't accepted it.
By: ~[AzureSkyy]


We are a species
That throughout all of their entire existance
Each of these creatures
Are searching franticly, desperately
For themselves.
They ask themselves the simplest question
And through all their complexity
Can't find a single answer that means a single thing
To the question of

       Who Am I?

Who am I who are You who is She and who are They?
Everyone responds with
I am me, who are you?
But they don't know
Becayse they're still searching for that answer

Well ... It's taken me an aeon ...
But I've finally found the tip of my iceberg.
Will you help me break the ice to discover what lays underneath
Of this frosted nightmare?
Because I think that maybe if you
Help others discover themselves ... Then perhaps you can find
Yourself within the trials of others.

<img620*0:http://elftown.lysator.liu.se/stuff/banner5.jpg>


Nightmare Aphrodisiac
By: ~[AzureSkyy]


I have a talent
A most intimate thing, is this talent
That when a person allows themself to
Drop all their shields
And dispel all their wards
I can come as close as is possible
To reading their minds

 And I feel
That I mush share my talent
With anyone I can...
But this talent requires a mutual trust
A level of trust so great
That we must be something akin to lovers

This poem, perhaps, is not a poem at all
But a thesis. An explanation to myself
That this talent is little less than an aphrodisiac
Because, from my experience .. Once it is tasted ...
We begin to spill our secrets
And share our lives
And live for both of those moments

It is so powerful
That it makes me shiver
Because this talent is not so much a talent
As it is an aphrodisiac
It attracts depression
And fascinates us with pain ...

I want to see you hurt ...
so that I can make it better in the morning
And because our pain is shared ..
I want to be hurt
So that I can fall into your arms
And be healed once more

It's a triangular cycle of pain love and trust
That makes me hurt shiver and lust

For each and every moment.

<img620*0:http://elftown.lysator.liu.se/stuff/banner5.jpg>


Never Never Wanted This
By: ~[AzureSkyy]


I never never wanted this never wanted to be free
Never ever wanted this
Never wanted this
To be cut free
Never never wanted you never wanted you to love me
Never ever wanted this, never wanted you to leave without me ...

I never never wanted this never wanted you to see
Never ever wanted this
Never wanted this
To let you see me
Never never wanted you never wanted you to see me
Never ever wanted this, nver wanted you to break me ...

I never never wanted this never wanted to be me
Never ever wanted this
Never wanted this
To be this me
Never never wanted to be me never wanted me to be not me
Never ever wanted this, never wanted me to hate me ...

<img620*0:http://elftown.lysator.liu.se/stuff/banner5.jpg>


Find My Tower Be My Winter
By: ~[AzureSkyy]


Be my winter
Fill my sky
All I want
Is for you to heal me so I can fly
Away with you

Climb my tower
Ascend the stairs
Break me down from inside up
Break my walls break my fall
Don't you ever wonder where I hide it all?

Ascend the stairs find my tower
Don't step on my solitary flower
For it's all I have left of this love

Give me hugs unlock my love
Help me find my wings
I want all of these things
  Be My Winter
 Unlock My Love

<img620*0:http://elftown.lysator.liu.se/stuff/banner5.jpg>


Frosted Rose
By: ~[AzureSkyy]


I want to be your winter
Hold your hand when you're lost
Kiss your cheek when you're down
Tickle you to drive away the frown
Hug you when all you want is to run
And hold you in my arms when you just want to drown

I wanna be your winter
Embrace you in the snow
Without an escape you're soo cold ...
Come with me where we can be warm and free
Let me be your winter
Come to me when you're cold and distant
Come to me when you're lost and scared ....

    I want to be your
     Wintered Rose

<img620*0:http://elftown.lysator.liu.se/stuff/banner5.jpg>


Prismatic Tears
By: ~[AzureSkyy]



Looking at the stars last night I lost myself
Looking down at the ground last night
I beheld the world through the prism of a tear
My distorted world hovered in a prismatic sea
What I could never see before
Was now dispelled within a tear

The drops fell away from me
And I dropped back into reality ...

<img620*0:http://elftown.lysator.liu.se/stuff/banner5.jpg>


Watch Me Watching You
By: ~[AzureSkyy]


Everyday I watch you ..
   Your walk ..
   How you hold yourself ..
   Your hands ..
   How you speak ..
   Your eyes ..

   How you hide it all away ..
           With such perfect ease

     But sometimes ... Your armor parts
     But sometimes ... Your shields fall
     But sometimes ... Your thoughts bleed out your eyes ...
     And I can tell
               That you just want to say
      I'm weak My life is shattered
     My heart is My soul is crushed
     My resolve is no more My soul it is crushed
    My sanity won't break But this pain I can't take

   And this is when I wish ... That, sometimes ... You'd watch me.
 Because ... When your armor peels away ...
   I wonder: What makes you hurt this way?
 Because ... When your shields melt away ...
   I think: What brings you down so dark?
 Because ... When your soul fills your eyes ...
   I wish: That you could see the
                        Pain that fills mine
      All the pain I feel for you ...
        Each and every time
         That I want to hel heal ...
            The pain fills my eyes.. And bleeds into my heart
               When I realize that .. You don't want it to be healed.

You don't want to be healed
Because now that you're hurt
                       You can hang your head
                    Tell your story
                 And say Look What Happened To Me!
               I Don't Want That Again!

   But you're really hiding
     Denying yourself
By hiding it all away in the wells of your soul.

<img620*0:http://elftown.lysator.liu.se/stuff/banner5.jpg>


Bring You To Life
By: ~[AzureSkyy]


 I only want to
   Release all your tension
    Wipe away all your tears
    Clean yp all your scars
    Soothe all your wounds
   And chase away all your fears ...

 If only you'd open up to me ...
   We could
  Take away your pain
  Heal every hurt
  Restore all your cheer
   And chase the tension from your tired shoulders ...

 I want to see you smile ... And hear you laugh ...
 See that shameless blush fill your face with beauty ...
 And meet my eyes when I tell you so

   All I want
    Is for you
     To come back to life
       And be the person
        That I glimpse under that morbid mask ...

<img620*0:http://elftown.lysator.liu.se/stuff/banner5.jpg>


Leap Of Faith

By: ~[AzureSkyy]



I'm setting myself up
To take a dive
A leap of faith


Looking with blinded eyes
This should be no surprise
That I'm going to risk temptation and damnation
To steal away your sorrow


<img620*0:http://elftown.lysator.liu.se/stuff/banner5.jpg>


Cavern Blind
By: ~[AzureSkyy]


Walkin blind I'm
Searching the endless darkness
Swimming through the twilight
I'm beginning to see ...

But my mind doesn't want to see it all

My mind is rebeling it won't let me see
              Then ...

I begin to realize that I'm still not going to look away
And with a sigh
I begin to see the horror before mine eyes
It starts to take shape, to let me see
And then I finally can't bear to see ...
And then I finally can't help but turn away ...
Close my eyes ...
And run to you
Tears falling in a torrent from your eyes
I drape your arms around my neck
And embrace you with my own
Crying the tears you've never allowed yourself to
My head hung for you
Reminiscent of all the times you've done the same ...
My breath shudders across your nape .. :

 "If you're too tired to hold on ..."
    "Let me be strong for you."

<img620*0:http://elftown.lysator.liu.se/stuff/banner5.jpg>


Day By Day Inch By Inch
By: ~[AzureSkyy]


Day by day I slunk away ..
Inch by inch I slowly drew away ..


Today and yesterday I kept myself away
Away from you away from us away from me away from all of us

But it wasn't the right thing to do
Wasn't the right way to help you through your day

And now you're not running away from me anymore but running right to him, mystery man that he is
I hardly even want to know his mystery name because I'm certain I know his familiar face

He's won your heart in three single days How bliss it must be
To have one proclaim his love with thee when he senses your need to escape thy tragedy

All I wanted was to give you some time to arrange your life closer to how you wanted it to be
To give you some time without having to talk to me So you could think a little more clearly


But I see that I was wrong
Wrong to love you as I do
Wrong to cherish the time I've had with you
Wrong to attempt what is right in everything I do
Wrong to wish for me to be with you
Wrong to think that nothing could come between us two
Wrong to love you as I do

<img620*0:http://elftown.lysator.liu.se/stuff/banner5.jpg>


If You Pretend
By: ~[AzureSkyy]


If you pretend
The world can come to an end

If you pretend
I can be healed

If you pretend
This won't get any better

If you pretend
To know me

Then you're in for a terrible tragedy
Because all of you

Pretend so hard
That you imagine I've stopped pretending myself to the world

I used to stop pretending
But old habits die hard and never slowly

You only see what you always wanted to see from me
My world is just deflected
This is a dream inside a dream injected with all its lies
My world is every bit rejected
I'm no longer reflected
In these wintered eyes


<img620*0:http://elftown.lysator.liu.se/stuff/banner5.jpg>


Starshine and Memory
By: ~[AzureSkyy]


You made some mistakes
I took the fall for you
If you died right now
Know that I'd die too

I spill my heart for you
Just to remember the times we went through
I hope you need this now
I know I still do ....

I can feel it rushing We're going to fall apart
Tell me why this hurts ... So much

I know now how it hurts me so
Because when I hear your voice
I can imagine the
Feel of your arms draped on my shoulders
Your arm moving lazily to find it's place in mine
Your head, resting gracefully upon this neck of mine
And your wondrous hair, washing over me in a caress of
Starshine ... And memory.

<img620*0:http://elftown.lysator.liu.se/stuff/banner5.jpg>


Tell Me Tales
By: ~[AzureSkyy]



While I was counting stars, wishing I was okay ...
Laying enveloped in starshine, bathed in moonlight
I wonder at the night air
It speaks to me It tells this
Rainfilled soul morbid tales
Of lovelorn loss

Over and over in my mind, again
All the things I should have said, to you
Because closing down, was my smallest mistake....
I never should have said the things I wouldn't say
Said in indecision I'm weary of walking this maze
Some days I feel the darkness break upon you ...
And I can hear the look in your eyes drive me crazy ..

The drops of rain, they fall all over
Your vows of slience, rain upon me ...
With tears from eyes worn by sorrow

Tell me tales Tell me with that look that lingers in your eyes
Tell me how the world will end Tell me when forever shall end
Tell me tales Tell your life Tell me your love
Spill your heart upon me
Tell me never lies
Never tell me lies

<img620*0:http://elftown.lysator.liu.se/stuff/banner5.jpg>


Malicious Masquerade - First real attempt at imagery
By: ~[AzureSkyy]


The gate creaks
I can't speak
The air is filled with need
The dead that no longer breathe
Poison the air with the lust to feed

I walk the grass, the earth breathing under my footfalls
Water's avarice inspiring it to rise, fall, shudder
Eyes flicking 'round I glance at the angels weeping o'er long forgottens
Their pitted eyes, tracing my path while Mother Mary
Etches the final detail upon my epitaph

Blooded rose in hand I tread my final falls
To the morgue I traverse, clutching hand never
Wavering from its perch upon my shuddering heart

Veil my eyes I'm still not blind the path has begun to wind
Moonlight on my back there's no coming back
I won't retract it would be a fiendish attack
On my reality

I color the night with the hues of madness
Waiting in the arms of my shadow,
I color the night sky with fright from an astral light
Here in this silver screen dream

I shall not waver in my deed
While the air is choking with need

<img620*0:http://elftown.lysator.liu.se/stuff/banner5.jpg>


Walking The Lie - First pre-meditated song written
By: ~[AzureSkyy]


We're stuck in a revolution
We're all walkin the lie
Stuck in a revolution
This is the way it's gonna be
For the rest of eternity

Walk your path Down the lonely road
Down the tired old paths of intervention
We're gonna change some things
There's nothing called the Wind Of Change
Change changes you Changes me
Like a break in reality
There's nothing can stop it it's comin fast
Better watch the sky
This is a blue apocalypse
Coming to wipe away the world's oceans
Onto the streets of your reality

Reality's coming down crashing into the sea of oblivion
Change can change in a moment
Don't let the blue fly away
Fly into the blue blue skies for a single moment
For a moment is all it takes
When you have a slice of eternity
Riding underneath your wings
You've got the winds of change under your power
This is the final hour
Stage your own revolution

<img620*0:http://elftown.lysator.liu.se/stuff/banner5.jpg>


Change My Direction
By: ~[AzureSkyy]


I live to be loved
I live to be consumed
I live to be your love

I'm moving in the wrong direction
I'm blind to the imperfections
I can't see the implications
Of all I'm doing
Until I've run a thousand miles
In the wrong direction

Love has made me so
I am blind
I am helpless
Within this love
Love has made me blind and helpless
I love that I like it this way

You're the only one I see You're the only one I need

Change my direction
I can only see my half of the reflection
Change my direction

Change my direction
I can't keep pushing this love around
Change this love
I keep pushing my love
But all I want is to be loving
Change my direction
Let me see your half of the reflection

Recognize my love don't deny this love
Reject it if you will but not until
Help me change my direction
I need to see the other half of our reflection

Love isn't just a word mean to mean something
Love is the word for when our hearts bleed together for want of affection
Love is lost in imperfection
Love is affection for all our imperfections
Words aren't just words Give them power Give them meaning Give them all of my EmoTioN

Love isn't a passion Love is a choice
Choose to love Choose to live a life

Choose to live a loving life
Choose to love this life

Help me change my direction
This is my half of the reflection

Turn me around change my direction
Help me up help me change my love
Open your eyes see your reflection in all its perfection
Show me your half of our reflection
Change my direction

This is my half of the reflection

<img620*0:http://elftown.lysator.liu.se/stuff/banner5.jpg>


My World Is All About Me
By: ~[AzureSkyy]

My world is all about me
This is how I want everything to be ...

I want my world ...
To be a place of magic and intrigue
I want my world ...
To be a play of happiness and glee
I want me world ...
To be all about me
I want my world ...
To be theatrical and free
I want my world ...
To be about everything we can be

Magical and free
Is how I want to be
Love is a miracle
That I want all for me
I want someone's love ...
To one day consume me
For I live to be loved ...
And have forever loved to love
Because I love the look in your eyes
When you see all of the things I love about you ...
How you ...
Cherish the looks
Hidden inside of a smile
Savor the smiles
Revere in the aura
Of inspired awe
Savor ...
What all of these things mean
When they are given
To you
With the blessing
Of a lover's heart

<img620*0:http://elftown.lysator.liu.se/stuff/banner5.jpg>


http://azureskyy.diary-x.com/journal.cgi?entry=20050328

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[#] Back To Top [#]


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Oh what the hell, why not ... I'll make a member's list... o.O; If'n you like my poetry, add your name and feel free to comment etc. ^.~

P.S. Don't forget to put your favorite poem down, too! ^__^

1.) [AzureSkyy] (Is it legal to be a member of your own page? >.O; ) "Forever (Is Just A Lifetime Past Eternity)"
2.) [~Shaman Queen~] (Of course it is ^,^)
3.) [.Stupid//Girl] (you silly's :p) - "I'm Nothing Like Me"
4.) [boo2you] your poems are bloody awesome!!! I love them, you're a beautiful writer :)
5.) [Falda] "Watch Me Watching You" .. You are and awesome writer..
6.) [Forgotten_Time] "Nobody Knows".. you are an awesome poet!..no need to thank me...lol
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