Hmm might re-do my house again... i need to do a bit of a photo shoot for it.. i have some ideas! =P lol ^_^ But art project first aye!!
ahh i just discovered how to turn my screen upside down!!! :o lol raaandom... hehe had a goood day today! ^^ Got a decent night's sleep (finally) and school was okay.. busy though.. 2 lessons, break, lesson, coursework at lunch, time out to play poker 4th and then art... which i did nothing in becuase... well i don't like art lesson's it's really hard to work in them. I might as my teacher if i can work elsewhere so i actually get things done. Oh yeah and i'm going to look into doing the International Bac. in Switzerland next year. Just for the fun of it ^_^ It'd be cool to get away and do something different.. probs won't work out but i'm gunna talk to my parents about it as my dad is getting a flat in switzerland anyway so i could always live there term time. =D
I dunno if i'm coming down with something but i feel really really warm and i have so much pain in my head, real bad earaache and a strange headache that's like a pressure building in my skull.
I'm trying to help people solve things.. i just don't know what else to do.. i want them to be happy and then they can leave me alone. Because at the moment i'm surrounded by people that i just can't.. i don't know.. i can't talk to.. have to tiptoe around incase i say the wrong thing. I'm fed up of it and i'm fed up of all the bitches around. Yeah i know i can be bitchy but seriously. People are as horrible to each other behind their backs as they are together to people they don't like. Bitch about me if you want. I don't care, coz chances are you don't know half as much as you think you do and to be honest i care as little about you as you do about me.
This is going to drive me crazy.
Elftown is down so diary rant goes here! =D
bleh.. today was quite crap to be honest. I'm not sleeping well at the moment so i'm really tired and ontop of that there's a lot of shit going on that i can't talk to anyone about. It's all building up inside me, along with school/exam stress and it's not like i'm going to explode or anything.. just drains all my energy away until i'm not enjoying anything. Just feels like every day is an issue of survival, get through it or break down. I'm getting through it but it really is effecting me.
For example i've lost about half a stone which i'm not putting back on becuase eating alot of food makes me feel sick. I have headaches all the time, i'm not sleeping well and my earache and sore throat have come back. ;_; so most of the time i'm finding it hard not to snap at people and be grumpy. It's just so wearing... life is soo bland.
Hmmm diary yeah... i think i'm going to redo my house... again! =P coz i feel like it yeah! XD and bleh watching most haunted series 7 ^^ so meh.
[-Brown eyes-]
STRAIGHT UP PIMPS!!!!!Sexy as hell,people with brown eyes are very attractive, adorable, love to make new friends. Will do anything for that special person. Kind and polite Can make anyone laugh or cheer them up. Best in bed can last for days.....way better than hazel eyed people.....Lov
yeah lol thats me! =P
Trying to hold things together,
When they keep falling apart,
Trying to fix it with tape,
And i've no idea where to start.
As one thing is fixed,
A hundred others break,
And i still don't know what to do,
Or how to get through each day.
bleh bleh BLEH!!!!!!!
yeah... i feel crap at the moment.. achey and tired as hell.. tired physically AND emotionally. I think i'm going to go crazy... or at least i'll be a wreck for the next 8 weeks. Seriously so much shit going on and no one to talk to. I just want someone to hug me and listen and tell me how to fix things... but that's not going to happen so. yeah. life goes on i'll get through it. Just have to keep away from people when i'm down and remember how great the ups are. balance. LOL.
Nikki made me laugh today, she said that despite the fact we've got similar sorts of stuff going on in our lives (as far as friends go) i always seem so calm and okay. She said i must be so churned up and torn apart inside. I think she knows me really well. She's the only person i know who just understands me, even if we don't talk all that much. It was nice chatting to her. <3
School was average. Life is average. Where's my knight in shining armour hay? To make everything seem amazing and make me see things with new eyes. Coz at the moment i could use a different perspective on things. I'm throwing my life away so much. Killing myself in a way. Maybe they were right. *sigh* ahh well i've never given up and i'm not starting now. onwards!
ENGLISH ESSAY DONE!!!!
and i am an official blood donor now!! I'm going to give blood at the end of the month which is something i've always wanted to do. Going to sign up to be an organ donor as well. I figure that the least i can do is help other's out when i die. Life is a gift and one i intend to pass on. After all i'm going to be cremated anyways. There's no need to burn parts of me that other's may need. ^_^ It's the whole circle of life thing, one thing dies to give life to another. I don't need to leave a legacy behind me, just knowing that if i die my death was useful is good enough for me! =D
and I AM ALMOST HALFWAY THROUGH MY ESSAY!! for english coursework yeah!! I'm feeling pretty chilled.. should finish the essay tonight and i've done my maths so i just need to check over my chem paper and i can do art all tomorrow and then school! I'm actually pretty organised.. i have quite a bit of work for my art exam so i'm not worried at all, going to do some in my free on monday.. so 2 hours of art a day.. makes 10 hours this week to do AO3 and then exam next week!! Lol i plan to spend the exam gluing and sticking! XD XD
Josh came over for a couple of hours too.. said he was bored coz no one would go to chester with him! Bless! XD lol Although all he did at mine was get bullied and watch TV while i pottered on the PC and slept! XD OHHH!! yeah in 2 weeks today i'm going to give blood! :o and then i plan to go to chester and get a piercing.. think i might have to have my nose re-done.. although i might do it myself.. but after i've given the blood! woooooo!! lol I've wanted to give blood for ages and seeming as Jim did and survived i thought i could too!! lolz and i shall watch as they drain away a pint of my blood!! hehe!! XD
So yeh i'm cheeery XD
you know what? The japanese-y looking guy from Elliot Minor is HOOOT!!! *drools* yeah... <_< Love their music too!! XD
I want some more people in my little family so come on guys and message me with what you'd like to be!! X3 (check the family section on my ET page!)
Okay i just got off the phone with Jim.. after an hour 15 minutes my LONGEST phone convo ever and we could have gone on longer if my phone hadn't run out of charge! ;_; He has such a sexy voice! X3 I think i've fallen in love with it! XD Bless him he cheered me up, he's so easy and fun to talk to, we just rambled about everything swapped tales of injuries and life experiances! ^____^ Plus the shopping.. ahh my day has been AMAZING!!!! <3 <3 i'm so happy i could sing and dance like a loon.. but i won't coz that would be painful! XD For everyone involved!
So yeah!!! I could explode with happiness right now!!
I think i might have to go lie down coz i have a pounding headache... >.<
Mwahahaha i went shopping, walked into town and it was goood! Didnt take long.. now i'm avoiding english coursework! :o as usual....
Anywho got a new dress thing which is gorgeous and £30 worth of make up coz i'm cool like that! XD Yeah all problems can be made better by spending money!! I'm going to wear the dress to school monday.. maybe over jeans maybe not!! XD
In other news i am fed up of being hit on... and harassed via PM by 30 year old guys.. =____= GO AWAY!! lol this is irrelevant to all youz my friends because you know i loves you all! X3
4 messages in the time to write that last entry??? how can that be i only have 1 online friend??? :o
rawr!! XD
I'm off for some retail therapy.. only in my local town, going to walk down (keeping my weight down ya see) and see if this dress i want is still in the shop!! It's so pretty and at heart i love my dresses.. like mega much! XD Plus i need to get out and get rid of some stress.. haven't done much except art for days now and as if that isn't enough i have science and maths papers to work on =___= bleh and exams in about 6 weeks! HELP ME!!!
Art exam is a week on tuesday and i have an engineering presentation two weeks today which should be fuun! I hope we win soe prizes i could do with the cash!! =/ lol!!
I'm having a bit of a teenage crisis at the moment and i really can't wait to get back to school and keep myself busy.. too much time to think at home! And thinking is not good!! Although everything is going to be okay... you know why? My darling Jim is going to ring me today! X3 lol yeah something as simple as that makes my day, but he really is my angel and i can't wait to speak to him! And i hate phones! :o lol
So yeah!! retail therapy, walking and hopefully complete my targets for today! English essay - complete or at least half done, artist studies drawn, last AO1 drawing coloured. *dances* Im actually pretty happy at the moment.. :o in an odd i hate myself sorta way! XD XD
Oh yeah and i'm revamping my house!! Slowly.. just with everything else changing i thought i might change my house around a bit too! =D
lol!!!
i lost another quater of a stone!! XD ugh so much school work i can't wait to finish my AS's and disappear for a while go MIA!! so if i disappear over the summer you know why!! XD
And lol... no posts for about a month!! I love my EP diarty.. i sound so. crazy! XD XD makes me feel happy!! LOL! cheh.. i'm in an oddly bright mood and ZOMG I NEED TO UPDATE MY ET DIARY!! i forgot to tell everone the Amazon packet i'd been waiting for arrived today!! MY BOOKS ARE HERE!! YES!! *is amazingly happy*
Everyone's treating me like glass o_o off one day ill and mike puts my hood up for me coz it's raining and holly makes me promise to keep warm as i walk into town o_o XD Weird!! lol
*HEADDESK HEADDESK HEADDESK*
yeah... I UBER FAILED at my physics test and it's really got to me.. i've never failed at something i've tried so hard at before. It's so demoralising. I want so much to succeed.. and i hate failing more than anything.. *rolls eyes* personality issues...
cheh that is all.