16 THINGS TO DO @ WAL*MART
Body: 1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"...
5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. Look right into the security camera; & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "go, pikachu, go!"
Repost this if you laughed...
Or are planning to do any of these
16 THINGS TO DO @ WAL*MART
"I'm Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman"
I used to think
I had the answers to everything,
But now I know
Life doesn't always go my way, yeah...
Feels like I'm caught in the middle
That's when I realize...
[Chorus:]
I'm not a girl,
Not yet a woman.
All I need is time,
A moment that is mine,
While I'm in between.
[Verse 2]
I'm not a girl,
There is no need to protect me.
It's time that I
Learn to face up to this on my own.
I've seen so much more than you know now,
So don't tell me to shut my eyes.
[Chorus]
I'm not a girl,
But if you look at me closely,
You will see it my eyes.
This girl will always find
Her way.
I'm not a girl
(I'm not a girl don't tell me what to believe).
Not Yet a woman
(I'm just trying to find the woman in me, yeah).
All I need is time (All I need),
A moment that is mine (That is mine),
While I'm in between.
I'm not a girl
Not yet a woman
All I need is time (All I need),
A moment that is mine,
While I'm in between.
I'm not a girl,
Not yet a woman.
*kiss on the forehead--"for
*kiss on the ear--"i'm horny"
*kiss on the cheek--"we're friends"
*kiss on the hand--"i adore you"
*kiss on the neck--"we belong together"
*kiss on the shoulder--"i want you"
*kiss on the lips--"i love you" or "i want you"
*holding hands--"we can learn to love each other"
*a wink--"Let's get it on"
*slap on the butt--"thats mine"
*playing with the ear--"i can't live without you"
*holding on tight--"don't let go"
*looking into each other's eyes--"let's get romantic"
*playing with hair on head--"tell me you love me"
*arms around the waist --"i love you too much to let go"
*laughing while kissing--"i am completley comfortable w/you"
Why doe she not get the fact that i like him?
He likes her....
What do i do to show him?
I____ you. You have a nice ______. You make me _______. You should _______. Someday I will ______. You + me = ________. If I saw you now I'd __________. I want to ________ you. I would build a _______ just for you. If I could sing you any song it would be _________. We could __________ under the stars.
Doesnt matter how hard one tries, a heart of glass never truely heals, and eventually will never be whole again.
Those are the ones that are truely lonely in this harsh world.
*ι"м ѕσяяу*.. тнαт ι"м иσт єиσυ9н σf α ѕℓυт тσ ѕℓєєρ ωιтн уσυ σи α fιяѕт ∂αтє.. *ι"м ѕσяяу*.. тнαт ι ∂σи"т ѕмσтнєя му fα¢є ιи мαкє-υρ тσ ℓσσк α ∂ιffєяєит ωαу.. *ι"м ѕσяяу*.. тнαт му ¢нєѕт ιѕи"т вι9 єиσυ9н тσ "ѕαтιѕfу" уσυя иєє∂ѕ.. *ι"м ѕσяяу*.. тнαт ι"м иσт αиσяєχι¢ σя ѕкιииу єиσυ9н ѕσ уσυ ¢αи ѕєє му яιвѕ.. *ι"м ѕσяяу*.. тнαт ι"м иσт ρяєтту єиσυ9н тσ вє "уσυя 9ιяℓ".. *ι"м ѕσяяу*.. тнαт ιм иσт α ρℓαувσу мσ∂єℓ ѕσ ι ¢αи"т α¢т ℓιкє α ρσяи ѕтαя fσя уσυ.. *ι"м ѕσяяу*.. тнαт ι ∂σит нανє α ∂яєαм вσ∂у тнαт тυяиѕ уσυ σи.. вυт мσѕт σf αℓℓ.. *ιм ѕσяяу*... if уσυ ¢αит α¢¢єρт мє fσя ωнσ ι αм.
Don't tell me I have nothing to fear when I've got everything to loose.
Ok, My daddy haz dateing this gurl, (liz) i liked her @ 1st. Now, she ish changeing him. And i dont like it. I wish he would change back. I not saying i hate her or anything... im friendz wit her kidz(which ish kool), but she changed my daddy. ~cryz~ And i RLY wish he would change back. My mom left and i havnt seen her in a year! And, now my daddy ish changing. Yeah, this ish so great....
There ish this boy in my school nemd Homer Wixson and i RLY like him, but im not his "type of gurl" so wat do i do?? HELP ME!!
And my BEST friend Brenton ish changing and i dont like it... WAT DO I DO HELP ME PPL!!!!!!!!!!!
[What would you do if]:
.1) I committed suicide:
.2) I said I liked you:
.3) I kissed you:
.4) I lived next door to you:
.5) I started smoking:
.6) I stole something:
.7) I was hospitalized:
.8) I ran away from home:
.9) I got into a fight and you weren't there
[What do you think of my]:
.1) Personality:
.2) Eyes:
.3) Face:
.4) Hair:
.5) Clothes:
.6) Mannerisms:
[General stuff]:
.1) Who are you?
.2) Are we friends?
.3) When and how did we meet?
.4) How have I affected you?
.5) What do you think of me?
.6) What's the fondest memory you have of me?
.7) How long do you think we will be friends or enemies?
.8) Do you love me?
.9) Have I ever hurt you?
.10) Would you hug me?
.11) Would you kiss me?
.12) Would you make love to me?
.13) Would you marry me?
.14) Emotionally, what stands out?
.15) Do you wish I was cooler?
.16) On a scale of 1-10, how nice am I?
.17) Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
.18) Am I loveable?
.19) How long have you known me?
.20) Describe me in one word.
.21) What was your first impression?
.22) Do you still think that way about me now?
.23) What do you think my weakness is?
.24) Do you think I'll get married?
.25) What about me makes you happy?
.26) What about me makes you sad?
.27) What reminds you of me?
.28) What's something you would change about me?
.29) How well do you know me?
.30) Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
.31) Do you think I would kill someone?
.32) Are we close?
.33) Are you going to put this on your journal and see what I say about you
Copy and Paste and tell me yes or no
1. Give me your number?
2. Have sex with me?
3. Let me kiss you?
4. Watch a movie with me?
5. Let me take you out to dinner?
6. Drive me somewhere/anyw
7. Take a shower with me?
8. Be my bf/gf?
9. Have a fling with me?
10. Buy me a drink if i didnt have money?
11. Take me home for the night?
12. Would you let me sleep in your bed?
13. Sing car kareoke w/ me?
14. Re-post this for me to answer your questions?
15. Do you think im attractive, sexy, or hot?
16. Do you like my style?
17. Do you think im funny?
18. Do you care about me?
19. Would you dance with me?
20. Would you sing happy birthday to me?
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till."
A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.
Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Wilt Chamberlin claims to have slept with over 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."
Chuck Norris can impregnate women with only a glance. He can also do this to men.
Chuck Norris does not use spell check. His spelling checks itself.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
President Bush DID have a sure fire plan to end the war in Iraq, However Chuck Norris was busy that day.
Girl: "Forgive me father for I have sinned."
Priest: "What have you done my child?"
Girl: "I called a man a son of a bit**."
Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bit**?"
Girl: "Because he touched my hand."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bit**."
Girl: "Then he touched my breast."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bit**."
Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, father."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bit**."
Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)
Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"
Priest: (after a few minutes): "That's no reason to call him a son of a bit**."
Girl: "But father he had AIDS!"
Priest: "THAT SON OF A BIT**!!!"
Boy: baby we need to talk
Girl: kyle, wat do u mean?
Boy: sumthin has come up...
Girl: wat? Wuts wrong? Is it bad?
Boy: i dont want to hurt u baby
Girl: *thinks* omg i hope he doesnt break up with me... I love him so much
Boy: baby are you there??
Girl: yea im here wut is so important??
Boy: im not sure if i should say
Girl: well u already brought it up, so please just tell me.
Boy: im leaving....
Girl: baby wut are u talking about?? I dont want u to leave me, i love you
Boy: not like that, i mean im moving far away
Girl: why? All of ur famliy lives over here.
Boy: well my father is sending me away to a boarding skool far away.
Girl: i cant believe this.
[FATHER: (picks up tha other fone, interrupts & yells furiously) ERiKA, wat did i tell you about talking to boys?!!!!!....Get off the d*** fone!! (And hangs up)]
Boy: wow ur father sounds really mad
Girl: u know how he gets, but anywayz i dont want you to go
Boy: would you run away with me?
Girl: baby, u know i would, i would do anything for u, but i cant... U dont know wut would happen if i did. My dad would kill me !!
Boy: *sad* its ok i understand i guess..
Girl: *thinking* i cant believe wuts going on
Boy: i need to give u sumthing 2nite b/c i am leaving on flight 1-80 in tha morning, so i need to see you now.
Girl: ok i will sneak out & meet u at tha park
Boy: ok ill meet u there in 20min
[They meet at a nearby park, they both hug eachother. And he gives her a note.]
Boy: here u go, this is for you i gotta go.
Girl: *tear* (begins to cry)
Boy: baby dont cry, u know i love you...but i have 2 go
Girl: ok (begins to walk away)
[They both go back home. And erika begins to read tha letter he gave her]
It says.....
Erika,
U probably already know that im leaving, i knew this would be better if i wrote a letter explaining tha truth about how much i care about you. The truth is, is that i never loved you, i hated you so much, u are my b**** and dont u ever forget that. I never cared about you, and never wanted to talk to you, n be around u. U really have no clue how much i hate you. Now that im leaving i thought u should know that i hate you b****, u never did tha right thing, and u were never there. I didnt think i could hate someone as much as i hate you. And i never want to see you, for the rest of my life, i will never miss kissing you like before, i never want to cuddle up, how we used to. I will not miss you and thats a promise. U never had my love, and i want you to remember that. B**** u keep this letter bcuz this may be tha last thing u have from me. I hate you so much. i will not talk to you soon b****.... Goodbye
- Kyle
[ erika begins to cry, she throws tha paper in tha garbage & crys for hours ]
....A day passes, she is sad, depressed and she feels so lonely.... Then she gets a fone call....
Friend: how are u feeling?
Girl: i just cant believe this happend i thought he loved me.
Friend: o, about that. Kyle left me a msg. A few days ago. He told me to tell u to look in ur jacket pocket or something...
Girl: ummm ok
[She finds a piece of paper in tha jacket, It says...]
Baby i hope u find this before u read my letter. I knew ur dad might read it, so i switched a few words...
Hate = Love
Never = Alwayz
B**** = Baby
Will not= will
........ I hope u didnt take that seriously because i love you with all my heart, and it was so hard to let you go thats y i wanted u to run away with me...
-Kyle]
Girl: omg its a letter, Kyle does love me!!, he must of slipped it into my pocket when he hugged me. I cant believe how stupid I am!!
Friend: lol ok but i g2g... Call me later
Girl: *happy*ok bye, i'll be at home waiting for my baby to call me !!
...... Erika turns tha T.V. on......
[Breaking news] "An airplane has crashed. Over 47 young boys died, we are still searching for Survivors...Th
[ she turns off the tv....3 days later, she kills herself, because of tha fact that Kyle was dead & she had nothing to Live for... ]
....A day after that the fone rings. Nobody answers. It was Kyle, he called to leave a msg. "Its Kyle, i guess ur not home so, I called 2 let u know that im alive, i missed my flight b/c i had 2 see u one last time. So i hope ur not worried. I am staying for good. Sorry if u got scared, i promise 2 make it up 2 u everything will be a be ok i love you so much...call me asap bye!
**~~NOW MAKE A WISH ABOUT SOMEONE YOU LOVE~~**
>
>>
>>>
>>>>**WISH**
>>>
>>
>
*
*
*
>
>>
>>>
>>>>**WISH**
>>>
>>
>
*
*
*
>
>>
>>>
>>>>**WISH**
>>>
>>
>
*******SSSTTTT
NOW IF YOU REPOST THIS IN 276 SECONDS your wish will come true and you will get good incredibly good luck
When you repost this repost saying "IF YOU LOVE SOMEONE READ"
Guy: "Can we have sex right now?"
Girl: "Can we do what?"
Guy: "You know, can I be your first, finally?"
Girl: "Um.....no."
Guy: "Why?"
Girl: "Because, 1. you have a girlfriend, who happens to be my
friend......."
Guy: "So, if you don't tell, I won' tell."
Girl: "Besides that, I'm waiting for someone special. Someone that I want
to be with for the rest of my life to be my first."
Guy: "I'm not special to you?"
Girl: "You're my friend. That's all."
Guy: looks forward and keeps driving.
5 minutes pass.......
Guy: starts to run his hand up the girl's thigh.
Girl: moves his hand, "Don't touch me!"
Guy: tries to kiss her.
Girl: screams, "Would you stop."
Guy: continues trying.
Girl: moves to the back seat
Guy: parks on an abandoned street and gets in the backseat with the girl.
Starts to
kiss her.
Girl: pushes him off and scoots over, "Please, don't do this."
Guy: "Don't do what, I know you want it, I can see it in your eyes." Moves
over to her and starts to unbutton her pants.
Girl: pushes him harder and says, "No, don't."
Guy: getting aggravated, punches her and tells her to stop "playing hard
to get".
Girl: crying, continues to fight.
Guy: punches her harder, pulls her pants off, and holds her down.
Girl: screams as he penetrates her, "NO, please don't do this to me!"
Guy: puts his hand over her mouth.
An hour passes........
Guy: pulls back and wipes himself off.
Girl: sits on the corner of the seat, sobbing.
Guy: looks at her and says, "You better not tell anybody about this. If
you're really my friend, you won't tell anybody about this. You know I
love you." He reaches out his hand to touch her cheek.
Girl: pulls back,
"Just take me home, now."
Guy: says, "Alright." Gets in the front seat and drives her home.
2 months later.........
Girl: "Doctor, what's wrong with me. I haven't had my time of the month in
2 months."
Doctor: looks at her, "You haven't been having your "time" for a reason."
Girl: looks at him and says, "Why?" dreading the answer that she was sure
to receive.
Doctor: "You are pregnant."
Girl: faints.
The story gets out that she is pregnant, and people start looking to the
Guy. He claims that it isn't his because she was sleeping with every guy
in the school(which was a lie). He goes to her and tells her, "I'm telling
you, if you lie to people and say that I raped you, I'll kill you."
The Girl is completely devastated. First, he took her virginity and got
her pregnant....th
girl commits suicide
by drug overdose......
Girls, if this story touched you, repost it as "That's Fucked up"
Guys, if this story touched you, repost it as "I'll kill any fucker who
does this
if any guy or girl thinks this is funny then you are fucked up