and the pain begins...

the moment he came over i knew exactly what he was going to say.
but im not mad.
i know he grew attatched.
too attatched.
i know he will be in college next year.
i know i changed.
i know he loves me, and thats why he did it.
i know when he walked out that door, i screamed and burst intto tears.
i know he dented the hood of his car with his fist.
i saw it.
i know he put his hands on his head as if screaming and sat in my driveway crying for 5 minutes.
i know he drove off.
i know its over.
but im not mad.




i cant breath though...

so its been 18 hours.
no food.
hmmmmmm....

Hmmm.....
hey guys i might leave elfpack....
i recently realized that the image i am aparently trying to portray is not me...
bye byez
 -Elli


p.s. i may be drunk but this is still true

mum promises me to the doctor tomorrow.
we'll see how far that goes...
im praying its not what silverline and i think it is....
wish me luck,
love you all,

Just amazing,
mum did not take me to the doctor...
so the suffering begins.
i dont think she understands how much pain im in, oh well...

Going to the doctors office today to see what the hell is wrong with me...
im hoping its not what i think it is, mum thinks i might end up in the hospital...

i will be on again later to say whats happend.

silverline and i are heading for sixflags in one week.
we will be annoying the living fuck out of her father:))
wooooo!!!!!!!!!

Babysitting bites x.x

i hate little children.
nuff said.