Darkness and Gloom

I watch the glow of my cigarette in the dim light
I watch as it burns
Wishing you were by my side.
I look around but don't really see.
I miss you my Love
You miles across the wide open sea,
Me in our scarce lit room.
The bed seems so large,
So cold and empty without your sleeping form beside me.
I miss you twirling my har through your fingertips
The way your eyes shine as you say you love me.
I see your face whenever I close my eyes
I try and sleep so i can see the image of your smile
My dearest Love please come back to me soon.
This seperation kills me
With its darkness and gloom.

XFrank Renee Lucifer

I can see you but not touch..
your so far from me...
i hate this.
my dearest Rayn...
i miss you
i cant sleep without you breathing on my neck. with out your hand curled tightly into my shirt. i want you home. come home. im being selfish and i dont even care. your family should come here for a change. America is not THAT bad...i just want you home. now. 6103 miles is to far. i cant see or hear or touch you whenever i want. webcam doesnt work quite the same.

man Fanny, i know how you feel everytime she goes see her family.
its so freaking far >.<

this is what happens when i talk to my friends..
im the one who *raped*

According to Fanny [Nezeb] i am fail.
the reasons being:
i love dr. pepper.
my fiancee can't read 1337
and if you read my mood...Fanny is apparently my dream girl...

*drowns in self fail-ness*

\/\/|-|y |v|3 ???

.:.Edit.:.
more reasons i am fail in material form:

my height of 6'8" apparently makes me fail harder
being a big stick cause of my height/weight ratio

.:.Edit.:.

the fact that my two year old just cup checked me
because i should wear one and expect Athena to randomly slam her fist in my crotch
because i wear striped shirts/sweaters
im emo *cries*
i steal Francis' jeans.

.:.another one.:.
the fact that Fanny made me yell "how the fuck did you think i meant my balls???" out loud

.:.yet another edit.:.
for being on a shitty comp

Aoyagi Ritsuka says:
read my status
Rayn says:
blanches' shut up you!
Aoyagi Ritsuka says:
haha! i love you!!!
now why did your face white?
whiten*
Rayn says:
now read mine
Aoyagi Ritsuka says:
the best part of waking up....
is boobies in your FACE!
Rayn says:
lol
Aoyagi Ritsuka says:
"it right note rite"?
really?
Rayn says:
what are you talking about?
it says right not rite
Aoyagi Ritsuka says:
it totally said that ya dork
Rayn says:
looks'
no it doesnt
Aoyagi Ritsuka says:
it did
Rayn says:
no it didnt
Aoyagi Ritsuka says:
i said it SAID that
yes
it did
Rayn says:
no
Aoyagi Ritsuka says:
*dies*
Rayn says:
i just looked!
Aoyagi Ritsuka says:
safety
Rayn says:
gross!
Aoyagi Ritsuka says:
you just changed it!
Rayn says:
no i didnt
Aoyagi Ritsuka says:
fine.
no sex for you!
Rayn says:
bwahah  haha....
Aoyagi Ritsuka says:
im serious
Rayn says:
but seriously i didnt
Aoyagi Ritsuka says:
*serious face*
Rayn says:
*seriouser face*
 
Aoyagi Ritsuka says:
but seriously you did
Rayn says:
nope
Aoyagi Ritsuka says:
*dead serious face*
yes
Rayn says:
^.^
nope
Aoyagi Ritsuka says:
yes
you did
i watched it change
Rayn says:
no you didnt
Aoyagi Ritsuka says:
yes i did
Rayn says:
no you didnt
Aoyagi Ritsuka says:
no sex for a month
Rayn says:
cause i didnt change it


i love how we IM each other from different rooms in the house.

we were talking about how she spelled "sandwich" wrong.
her current status says "two things dear...its know not lnow and its right not rite"
but it did say "right note rite"
mine says "Sandwuch <--- New word. Way to be a dork Baby! and apparently Not is now Note"
and does anyone else notice how she doesnt respond to the no sex thing i said?

another song. im thinking about playing it when Rayn and i finally get married.

[Never gonna be alone- Nickelback]

Time, is going by, so much faster than I,
And I'm starting to regret not spending all of it with you.
Now I'm, wondering why, I've kept this bottled inside,
So I'm starting to regret not telling all of it to you.
So if I haven't yet, I've gotta let you know,

You're never gonna be alone from this moment on.
If you ever feel like letting go, I won't let you fall.
You're never gonna be alone. I'll hold you 'til the hurt is gone.

And now, as long as I can, I'm holding on with both hands,
'Cause forever I believe that there's nothing I could need but you.
So if I haven't yet, I've gotta let you know,

You're never gonna be alone from this moment on.
If you ever feel like letting go, I won't let you fall.
When all hope is gone, I know that you can carry on.
Were gonna take the world on. I'll hold you 'til the hurt is gone.
Ooooh.

You've gotta live every single day,
Like it's the only one, what if tomorrow never comes?
Don't let it slip away,
Could be our only one, you know it's only just begun.
Every single day,
Maybe our only one, what if tomorrow never comes,
Tomorrow never comes?

Time, is going by, so much faster than I,
And I'm starting to regret not telling all of this to you.

You're never gonna be alone from this moment on.
If you ever feel like letting go, I won't let you fall.
When all hope is gone, I know that you can carry on.
We're gonna take the world on. I'll hold you 'til the hurt is gone.

I'm gonna be there all of the way.
I won't be missing one more day.
I'm gonna be there all of the way.
I won't be missing one more day.

I Will Not Bow- Breaking Benjamin

Fall!

Now the dark begins to rise
Save your breath it's far from over
Leave the lost and dead behind
Now's your chance to run for cover
I don't want to change the world
I just want to leave it colder
Light the fuse and burn it up
Take the path that leads to nowhere
All is lost again, but I'm not giving in

I will not bow, I will not break
I will shut the world away
I will not fall, I will not fade
I will take your breath away

Fall!

Watch the end through dying eyes
Now the dark is taking over
Show me where forever dies
Take the fall and run to heaven
All is lost again, but I'm not giving in

I will not bow, I will not break
I will shut the world away
I will not fall, I will not fade
I will take your breath away

And I'll survive, paranoid
I have lost the will to change
And I am not proud, cold blooded, fake
I will shut the world away

I will not!

I will not bow, I will not break
I will shut the world away
I will not fall, I will not fade
I will take your breath away

And I'll survive, paranoid
I have lost the will to change
And I am not proud, cold blooded, fake
I will shut the world away

Fall!

omg i have such a headache >.<
im trying to fix two monitors and i dont know whats wrong with either of them really and it pisses me of D:< i mean seriously.
one turns on the just randomly shuts off.
and the other FLICKERS NON STOP!
almost had a farking epileptic seizure with that thing.
well imma bring the big one (the one that shuts off) to the computer store when i can. i think its just the adapters.
as for the one that flickers, it can kiss my butt.

this is what i get for using stumble.
all these photos and more can be found here http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2AwYRS/haha.nu/creative/creative-photos-by-chema-madoz

OMFG!!!!! i love this!!!! XD

It's times like these that are dangerous for me.
When I want to withdraw, and disappear.
When I want no one around me.
Surround me with people and it will be the same
I won't talk to anyone or even look them in the eyes
My heart hasn't been this heavy in so long,
I forgot how much it hurts.
You can say you'll be there for me,
But I may not listen.
I know it's true.
But only I can help myself in these dangerous times.




*side note to Rei* Yes I'm depressed. And no i don't really want to talk. But I am trying to help myself through this.

FUCK THIS SHIT!
I'm serious! I found out fucking TODAY that my best friend miscarried her first child. And don't tell me everything happens for a reason cause that's fucking bullshit. There is absolutely NO reason to take the life of an unborn child. NONE. Period. Kael never had a fucking chance to live. The worst part about it, is I fucking broke a promise to always be there for her.
What all powerful and all knowing God would put someone through that much fucking pain?! 2010 has just fucking started and I've already lost two people. One I've known my whole life and loved dearly, and one I've never even met and knew I loved already.
She doesn't deserve this, and neither does the father.
People always wanna fucking ask me why I don't believe in God, this is fucking why.
I'm sorry Beka, I wish i could bring Kael back for you.
Your Little Nudger is gone, and I am so sorry.
RIP Baby Stelly.

This year is not going to be the best one of my life.
At around 2:00 central time on January 1 2010
my grandfather was found dead.
He had been hit by a car and then a truck which drug him a ways.
He will be missed. Greatly.

You're gone from this world,
But not from my heart.
R.I.P.
Robin "Pop" Hinrichs
June 6, 1956-January 1, 2010

well now everyone,

i know my sister said id be gone for about 3-4 days, buuuuuutttt,

To whom it may concern,

Frank will not be on for a while. He is currently in the hospital. He shouldn't be there long and will be back as soon as he can. He ask that you please not worry. He's fine, he simply let his blood sugar get to low. He will be under hospital observation for about 3-4 days then he will be home.

Sincerely,
Francis

SOOOOOOOOO......
My Uncle's family (biological. he's adopted into mine) came visit him as a late Christmas present.
Well....they're from England. And I hardly understand a word of what they're saying right now. They're still here as they will be for a few weeks. His mom came too and hes VERY happy cause she's been sick but she's feeling better now. His family is including:
Elvin
Nelly
Artie
Marvin
Leif
Jan<---this is a boy btw.
Rozetta
and last but not least
Marie.
William and Willow, my adoptive aunt and uncle, are between Rozetta and Marie.
His father, fortunately for him, did not show. So they're won't be any fighting.
Well this all I really have to say: My Wiccan uncle is having a very Happy Christmas.



Happy Zombie Jesus's Birthday from the Lucifer family.
(i know its 2:39 am central time here in the States but oh well. i havent really been on all day)

Isaac is better.
thanks to everyone who gave there advice to the struggling father.

i need help!!! 3 of the 7 kids that live in my house are sick! and its all the boys surprisingly...haha. what do i do to help them??
i have taken them to the doctor and everything but alas they just gave me antibiotics...that does not help with a newborn, 2 year old, and 6 year old SCREAMING NON STOP

any suggestions?? please help me.... T_T