T^T si Duckii died the day after i posted my last diary entry. i had just gotten her a cage mate, Abby. we think she died of kidney failure. my poor Duckii. RIP little one

So i got a new rat yesterday. my cat attacked her >.< but shes fine for the most part. i think she is paralyzed now but it doesnt seem to bother her too much. she still crawls around eats drinks potties like a normal rat. i think shell be fine. im thinking of getting her a cage mate soon. according to an article i read on caring for paralyzed rats its better for her. anywho. her name is Duckii. and i love her. took me a freaking hour to pick her out. but it was worth it. even after what happened last night she is still sweet as non diabetic ice cream. later guys!

so.... update on life


got my handweb redone. still work at burger king (the irony i know) uhm.... christmas was... tense. new years is making me sad. not sure what else to add here. but for those who wanna know. thats pretty much the extent of things atm. love you guys!

[There's No Place that Far- Sara Evans]



I can't imagine, any greater fear
Than waking up, without you here,
And though the sun, would still shine on,
My whole world, would all be gone,
But not for long,

If I had to run, if I had to crawl
If I had to swim a hundred rivers, just to climb a thousand walls,
Always know that I would find a way, to get to where you are,
There's no place that far

It wouldn't matter why we're apart,
Lonely miles or two stubborn hearts
Nothing short of God above
Could turn me away from your love
I need you that much

If I had to run, if I had to crawl
If I had to swim a hundred rivers, just to climb a thousand walls,
Always know that I would find a way, to get to where you are,
There's no place that far

If I had to run, if I had to crawl
If I had to swim a hundred rivers, just to climb a thousand walls,
Always know that I would find a way, to get to where you are,
There's no place that far

Baby there's no place that far

[Whispers In The Dark - Skillet]

Despite the lies that you're making
Your love is mine for the taking
My love is just waiting
To turn your tears to roses

Despite the lies that you're making
Your love is mine for the taking
My love is just waiting
To turn your tears to roses

I will be the one that's gonna hold you
I will be the one that you run to
My love is a burning, consuming fire

No, you'll never be alone
When darkness comes
I'll light the night with stars
Hear my whispers in the dark

No, you'll never be alone
When darkness comes
You know I'm never far
Hear my whispers in the dark

Whispers in the dark

You feel so lonely and ragged
You lay here broken and naked
My love is just waiting
To clothe you in crimson roses

I will be the one that's gonna find you
I will be the one that's gonna guide you
My love is a burning, consuming fire

No, you'll never be alone
When darkness comes
I'll light the night with stars
Hear my whispers in the dark

No, you'll never be alone
When darkness comes
You know I'm never far
Hear the whispers in the dark

No, you'll never be alone
When darkness comes
I'll light the night with stars
Hear my whispers in the dark

No, you'll never be alone
When darkness comes
You know I'm never far
Hear the whispers in the dark

Whispers in the dark
Whispers in the dark
Whispers in the dark

So anywho for those who are wondering (doubt you are) about why I was at the hospital.
FRANCIS HAD HER BABY!!!!!!!!!!!
Another boy. His name is Albin. It means "fair complextioned". Also, it's a saint's name. Cause my twin is weird.
Anyway.... HE IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ADORABLE!!!!!!!!!!!
And cute. Just like his Mamas. Yupp. Two of them. Ezekiel finds it perfectly natural and we're sure that Albin will too.

[City on Our Knees - TobyMac]
{very powerful song}


If you gotta start somewhere why not here
If you gotta start sometime why not now
If we gotta start somewhere I say here
If we gotta start sometime I say now
Through the fog there is hope in the distance
From cathedrals to third world missions
Love will fall to the earth like a crashing wave

Tonight’s the night
For the sinners and the saints
Two worlds collide in a beautiful display
It’s all up tonight
When we step across the line
We can sail across the sea
To a city with one king
A city on our knees
A city on our knees
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

If you gotta start somewhere why not here
If you gotta start sometime why not now
If we gotta start somewhere I say here
If we gotta start sometime I say now
Through the fog there is hope in the distance
From cathedrals to third world missions
Love will fall to the earth like a crashing wave

Tonight’s the night
For the sinners and the saints
Two worlds collide in a beautiful display
It’s all love tonight
When we step across the line
We can sail across the sea
To a city with one king
A city on our knees
A city on our knees
Oh-oh-oh

Tonight could last forever
We are one choice from together
Tonight could last forever
Ooh
Tonight could last forever
We are one choice from together
As family
We’re family
Oh Tonight could last forever
We are one choice from together
You and me
Ya, you and me
Tonight’s the night
For the sinners and the saints
Two worlds collide
In a glorious display
Cuz its all love tonight
When we step across the line
We can sail across the sea
To a city with one king
A city on our knees
A city on our knees
Oh oh oh
A city on our knees
A city on our knees
Oh oh oh
If we gotta start somewhere why not here
If we gotta start sometime why not now

[What A Shame - Shinedown]


Two packs of cigarettes a day
The strongest whiskey
Kentucky can make
That's a recipe to put a vagabond
On his hands and knees
I watched it all up close,
I knew him more than most
I saw a side of him he never showed
Full of sympathy for a world that
Wouldn't let him be

That's the man he was,
Have you heard enough?

[Chorus]
What a shame, what a shame,
To judge a life that you can't change
The choir sings, the church bells ring
So, won't you give this man his wings?
What a shame to have to beg you to
See we're not all the same
What a shame

There's a hard life for every silver spoon
There's a touch of grey for every shade
Of blue
That's the way that I see life
If there was nothing wrong,
Then there'd be nothing right
And for this working man they say could
Barely stand
There's gotta be a better place to land
Some kind of remedy for a world that
Wouldn't let him be

That's the man he was,
Have you heard enough?

[Chorus]
What a shame, what a shame,
To judge a life that you can't change
The choir sings, the church bells ring
So, won't you give this man his wings?
What a shame to have to beg you to
See we're not all the same
What a shame

God forgive the hands that laid you down
They never knew how much a broken heart can break the sound and change the season
Now the leaves are falling faster,
Happily ever after
You gave me hope through your endeavors
And now you will live forever

[Chorus]
What a shame, what a shame,
To judge a life that you can't change
The choir sings, the church bells ring
So, won't you give this man his wings?
What a shame to have to beg you to
See we're not all the same
What a shame, what a shame
'Cause we're not all the same
What a shame, what a shame
'Cause we're not all the same

I miss you Uncle Buddy.....

I HAVE A JOB!!!!!
and today is my first day there.
i work 5 to midnight...O.o;
why me?? lol.
so i will be here even less than what i already am.
sorry :-< it makes me vert sad.
well.....TOODLES! ^^

A good friend is someone who will be there while you cry...who will comfort you while you're down.

A true friend will will be there while you cry, comfort you while you're down, and kill the mother fucker who brought tears to your eyes.

http://cookiesinbloom.com/

go there and order stuffs. they have kick ass cookies ^.^
my nanny owns it. shes a great baker...and so is my grammy.
you will love these cookies. no doubt.

y'all read that right. i'm moving. i won't be on much cause the only place with internet is my grammy who lives next door and she works during the day. and i should be getting a job soon. and then hopefully i can set up the internet. well love you guys and ill talk to y'all when i can. baibai!

XOX
Frank Lucifer

P.S.
finally a happy diary entry ^.^

[F.T.W.]
_{Face the World}

Why do we live why do we die?
Watch as crystal-clear tears fall from tired blue eyes.
The pain and hurt,
Makes my heart want to burst.
I miss those who have passed
Why can't happiness just, for a moment longer, last?
All the death around the world is becoming so much
With an icy hand, my heart, Death did touch
My blood ran cold
With the news I was told
Of his passing from this life.
Through darkness and sorrow, I will fight
For those I love, and even those I hate.
Though a human life, I will never take.
I sit and bate my breath
As my heart races, unheard in my chest.
I will wait for my moment
I will sleep and lay dormant
Until that times comes when I face the world.

XF.R.L. 1/22/2010

Do we live simple to die?
Someone must know
Someone? Anyone?
If all we're gonna do is die, then why are we born? Why do we walk this Earth each and everyday, If all we're gonna do is die? For me right now, I'm beginning to think life is pointless. So far 3 people have died. My friend said that death happens in three's. Is this the last for me? I hope it is cause if one more person I care for and love dies, I'm going back to the institution. Not because I'm a threat to myself, but to everyone around me. I can't take much more of this. I really can't.

So i found out today that my uncle killed himself.
How or why is complete unknown to me, but he did.
I was at the Mall when my mom called and told me.
I cried. Right there. In the middle of the mall.


R.I.P.
Alex John "Buddy" Denais Jr.
I miss you already.
"How you like dem apples?"

Why the hell is it harder to give MYSELF benadryl then it is to give it to Athena?
that stuff is nasty...and it smells funny >.<



also...it SO DOES NOT taste like cherries!
not even the after taste is that of cherry... stupid label saying cherry flavored liquid. liars...

My newest phone contact in my cell is Bob With A Penis.
cause i know two, well three, Bobs.
they are as follows
Bob Hebert
Bob With A Penis
 and
Bob With A Vagina

the last one is actually a girl. her name is Rainy.
but we call her Bob.
that came about because of me.
i busted out the first day we met and called her Billy Bob Joe Bob Joe
and for some reason Bob stuck. XD

does anyone else get freakishly hyper when recovering from illness??
cause apparently...i do.

oh and my mom walked in one me while i was taking a steamy shower trying to loosen the congestin in my chest...and well...we have a clear shower curtain.
it wasnt that bad...i mean she gave birth to me AND changed my diapers...but it was still awkward as hell.... then Francis decided to come in and talk to our mom...i was like "wtf?! really?! im in the freaking shower!"
and neither one of them left.



and another thing
Athena doesnt like when i sleep all day. she kept walking up to the couch where i was and tugging at my hair saying "daddy needs to wake up. its day now. daddy needs to be awake."
my sha little girl. ^^ i love her. my mom had to keep taking her away from the couch so i cold get some rest. then she would cry.. and i felt bad got up and snuggled with her on the couch till we both fell asleep.
and just so no one is like "you shouldnt have a baby that close to you when your sick!"
i had a doctor face mask thing on. so i wasnt breathing on her.

the lastest survey says that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the worlds population

the trouble with life is that there's no background music

I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

I don't remember being absent minded.

I have not lost my mind; it is backed up on a disk somewhere

A rose by any other name would likely be "deadly thornbearing assault vegetation"

If at first you don't succeed,, destroy all evidence that you tried.

It is generally agreed that "hello" is an appropriate greeting, because if you entered a room and said "goodbye" it would confuse alot of people.

for fast acting relief, try slowing down

if you don't care where you are, then you ain't lost

flying is not inherently dangerous; crashing is

forecast for tonight: darkness

a sphere is a really pointless shape

i used to have a handle on life until it broke

i like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me

in dog years im dead

How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue... and then you had eggs and sugar and you get cake? Where does THE GLUE GO?

                  Rayn's crazyness

the difference between a smart ass editor and a hard working one is that the smart ass editor (me) will stand behind you and correct you as you type.

teehee. shes a dork. these are old. she had them written down in a notebook.
i stoled them and put them up. cause i think theyre funny.

Darkness and Gloom

I watch the glow of my cigarette in the dim light
I watch as it burns
Wishing you were by my side.
I look around but don't really see.
I miss you my Love
You miles across the wide open sea,
Me in our scarce lit room.
The bed seems so large,
So cold and empty without your sleeping form beside me.
I miss you twirling my har through your fingertips
The way your eyes shine as you say you love me.
I see your face whenever I close my eyes
I try and sleep so i can see the image of your smile
My dearest Love please come back to me soon.
This seperation kills me
With its darkness and gloom.

XFrank Renee Lucifer

I can see you but not touch..
your so far from me...
i hate this.
my dearest Rayn...
i miss you
i cant sleep without you breathing on my neck. with out your hand curled tightly into my shirt. i want you home. come home. im being selfish and i dont even care. your family should come here for a change. America is not THAT bad...i just want you home. now. 6103 miles is to far. i cant see or hear or touch you whenever i want. webcam doesnt work quite the same.

man Fanny, i know how you feel everytime she goes see her family.
its so freaking far >.<

this is what happens when i talk to my friends..
im the one who *raped*