OK there we go...
what happend 2day?
The doctor told me that my back will probably not be ok.I have to be careful if i want it to be heald n not to be operated.There is a slight possibility that i will b fine just with time.Yet its just that i cn hardly ever sleep anymore even when i m layin on my bed it hurts n it does so way too much.

I am close to a decision but there are some things that prevent me from taking this decision
1st I m afraid
2nd I m alone
3rd i dont feel ready
4th I miss her :/

i m writing this things here just in case that something happens.....

i cnt fuckin lay back it makes me hurt more n more as if i have a sword there.... :( stupid back

missin her .... :S

i ll try not to say dunno agen

jst thought u all shuld know ... my bro is sick dunno what kinda illness ( actually how its calld in english) its got to do with his ears ... thats all

gtg tho i wanna write sumit over here i dont ave time for even that xxx

today has been a rough day n yesterday an even rougher
right nw i jst am sittin over here but considerin what i ve been through well its been a lot
a lot number 1 :Billy hasnt slept this saturday n he went a trip on sunday mornin to participate in a chess tournament at the teenager-team he leads.....
he was dizzy coz he hadnt actually eaten for like 12 hours ....
A lot number 2:tho none of ya knew billy hasnt been home the past days n well he missd his dad homecomin coz by the time he was back (billy) his dad had jst left....
A lot number 3: 2day he went to school tho he was felin sick n like crap but noone seemd to care in the beggin they jst thought it was coz i didnt sleep well or something like that but most of my friends were checkin on me all the time as if i am sick or mad n that was pissinme off n i tried to tell em but none of em wantd 2 listen so now i m over ere i m depressd n i m missin her
A lot number 4:Yesterday i was playin agenist the guy i hate most (frm the chess players its jst the way he exists :P) anyway i won n we won by a score of 5-1 the only person that lost was the teenage girl of the team about who i ve already written on here (yea that story the tough part was that i was supposd to calm her down...)anyway its jst been a lot in thz dayz n now i jst am lost n tird n its jst really weird
i wanna jst sleep into her hands

Guess what... i m off
well as i ve always been i guess n i hope i m wrong this time but something happend 2 someone i really care about
its probably my fault but i dont actually know wtf it is
so i dont wanna hurt the rest the same way so i just leave
hope you all dont mind...

Yea yea things are agen going on like crap....................................................................................................................
2day i started school again n tomorrow i will get my books.... so i got a surprise in the mornin though.... it was a huge one actually
Billy goes to school with his cousin n his best friend.... n while walkin suddenly notices that the same girl that has been there for him has switched school and will be in his class from now and....

Guess what>
lifez kept on being a bitch
the thing bout my foot well yea my foot is crackd...
and well i m here once agen tird n really scared
guess what billy has been playing chess today all day long he was the leader in a 4 member team and the team went well *got second place out of 21 participants :P* n well i was playin as the best player next to me was the second one *livin here 2 n well i dunno i jst have seen HER (yea its her) for a long time.... n i dunno what happend and she was behavin in a weird way.... *well after 4 games we went 2 eat n well she asked me 2 be just us cause she would ask me something ... i said ok but well it was more like a date i didnt want it to be though :S n well then she thought that we would go out together :/ but well its jst the way life is and i dont know what to do anymore then well while leavin (i was with her n her lil sister in her father's car with her father in...) she askd when we ll date again n i was like O.o n i said i dunno i got a lot of classes *couldnt stand sayin the truth at this time coz well she was there for me i couldnt say it for her the same day that she helpd me that much



*guess what i m startin to think of fillin it up lol its probably coz i write a lot over ere :P*

Yea lifez being a bitch once again one thing just leadz to another.....


yesterday i went with some friends and played some football i cn barely walk now tho :/
i got my brain down cause i ve been in classes the past 10 hours n well things cn always get worse i jst dont hope they wont anymore :S

I just wanna ppl 2 know that if they dont hear from me again i will have passd out

:(
I dont really wanna go on holidayz but that d be rude of me and me mom told me that if i jst dont go i cant stay here coz ma back is supposd 2 get betta if i jst go in the sea :(
after all i am gonna miss ya all -leavin sumday @ random :'(-

dunno whu is gonna read thz
i am harry
billy's away, he left home yesterday :'(
i dunno why he jst was pissd and startd runnin got outa home & didnt stop and slept @ a random place :(

hmmmz well i guess that was it
i hope u all had fun
byez
x

Well here we go agen
i know that all i do over here is hurtin ppl by lettin em no me and stuff
so i think i am gonna take a break coz i need to think of many thingz
i dunno how much this is gonna last
if anythin goes wrong someone will log in and infom
bye
x