aroubd now I start feeling like tomorrow is gonna suck

I see these contrasting colors
I see contradicting colors as they lay on the wall
as if they're about to fall
I feel like I'm already asleep
I can feel it creep
I hate the way I sleep
and I love it too
These contradicting phrases
these contasting statements make sense in a way I'll never understand
please explain why it simultaniously does and doesn't make sense
tell me why the dice lie
and why the cards cheat
and how the two sided coin always lands heads
even when it's double tails
as I think about it
it doesn't make sense
after being washed 3 or 4 times
where was that when I needed it
pass the soap
soap the pass
all I ever say is the and the the thethe the thethethe
it makes less and less sense as I get more and more
even when I always win I still lose
more than you
why?
This poem is called gambling on sleep

From My Weary Limbs (Let's All Join A Nudist Colony)
From my weary limbs
remove these wretched things
at first they were made for warmth
then they were made to cover us up
and now they are made to be "cool"
From my weary limbs
take away the wretched clothes for which I am judged upon
and from the shoulders and hips
of every human in the world
and replace them with something less bulky
for nature is as it is intended to be
so come my friend and remove the burden
and come and lay with me
come and lay with us (these last two lines aren't sexual)
so we can all be as nature intended
naked
or close to it

But what if the wind comes?-a love story
But what if the wind comes, my darling?
what if if it comes while we sleep
while we dream of things too beautiful to be seen or percieved by our eyes
what if it comes to take away these we have together viewed and made real inside our minds eye? what then I ask while these images of beauty and these feeling of perfection are ripped from my body
Then I reply, I shall make anew these which I have lost.. these which it hath taken from me
but what then?
then I shall awake and turn them into things that are real, so all can bear with them and feel the beauty that I have felt
to make real the perfection that is not perfect, the thing that is felt while we sleep
while I walk through this red forest and all the beautiful things I wonder, do I have too go to home? to go back to the earth which I know? for this mars it much better.. I love it here... and I ask myself
but what if the wind comes?
and I answer my love will be there to guide me through...

Adam shall be coming over... we will spar and exist... I'll beat him bad...

is it possible for me to go even more insane than I already am? this concept scares me and I want it to go away... someone please help me... I'm kinda dieing inside every day that goes by...

I had an awesome day today with jessie