Well, after much humming and harring i've decided to come back.
Mainly becaus MySpace and Facebook SUCK ASS.
And now i'm back, I don't think any of my past friends would care to talk to me much. So i'm out to make new friends. I think I might redo my house too. Depends how I feel after this.
But first an update on everything that's been happening in my life...
(you don't have to look so "thrilled")
Well... thanks to the BOOMING economy, I have been unemployed now for seven months, during which time I have turned 18, which is now leaving me unemployable due to the fact that all my past experience has been from a pre-adult time. therefore leaving it pretty much null and void. Which doesn't really even matter when you consider that my next job will have to be very very long term because I simply cannot afford to switch jobs every few months in the pursuit of a satisfying career. I'm still not sure what it is that I want to do for the rest of my life. What sort of predicament is this to put on Gen Y? We shouldn't have to stick to one boring thing for the rest of our lives. It's simply unfair. We need to be happy with ourselves, every day feeling like we have accomplished something. I cant get that out of a simple office job.
Right now I am considering something to do with art. I find myself drawing alot more these days, well what else am I supposed to do. I was considering Tattooing. It's interesting, it's always going to be different. It's definately challenging...
But it wont pay very well to start off with... and that's my problem. I have moved out with my boyfriend, Jamie. He's an apprentice Plant Mechanic so he doesn't earn too much right now... So I need an entry level position that pays enough for two people.
MISSION IMPOSSIBLE!!!!
Especially when I cant even get a job flipping fucking burgers!!!!!
Cry all you want, no body will wipe your tears. Yell all you want, no body will hear you. Bleed all you want, no body will mend your wounds. Reach all you want, no body will save you.
so this is how it ends,
we return to being friends.
oh how close we are,
if only you could see my scars.
i cant bear to see your pictures,
the ones i had on my door.
right now they're scattered face down,
all over my floor.
i suppose this is all i deserve,
all i should expect.
who am i to fall in love,
with someone so perfect?
i dont blame or hate you,
in fact i love you more.
i'd still fucking die for you,
and if you wanted more.
the funny thing about this though,
is not how far we've come.
but how much i regret the things,
i said and what i've done.
the smartest thing you ever did,
was push my love away.
you saved yourself like i knew you would,
you'll live another day.
but as for me my time is short,
time ticks slower now.
at least i have the time,
to tell you what i feel and how.
if i ever saw you,
before my last day.
i dont know what i'd do,
but i know what i would say.
i'd tell you're my reason,
when nothing else made sense.
i'd tell you you're my eyes,
that see through the fog of love, so dense.
you're the person i wake up for,
the person i'll protect.
the one that i will suffer for,
the one i'll never reject.
when all hope is aboandoned,
and life itself is lost.
i'll stand up next to you,
and protect you at all cost.
if i am not the one you want,
which i know that is the case.
let me leave this earth,
for i have no love left to chase.
but if by chance one day,
you'd like to give me a chance.
know that we will happily be,
a lifetime strong romance.
i'll love you till the day i die,
and then forever more.
for you are everything i want,
all i've been waiting for.
yeah.
somehow i dont think its finished yet.
but it might be....
ehh.