Domestic Violence Prevention
This wiki is made in dedication to Corinne DeMachio. (1968-1998),and also to anyone who lost their life or been hurt because of domestic abuse.
What is Domestic Violence?
Domestic abuse, also known as spousal abuse, happens when one person in an intimate relationship or marriage tries to dominate and/or control the other person. An abuser doesn’t “play nice.” He or she uses fear, guilt, shame, and intimidation to wear their partner down and gain complete power over them. He or she may threaten them, hurt them, or hurt those around them. Domestic abuse that includes physical violence is called domestic violence.
Victims of domestic abuse or domestic violence can be men or women, although women are more commonly victimized. (Note: I will use the pronoun “he” for convenience only)
This abuse happens among heterosexual
couples and in same-sex
partnerships. Except for the gender difference, domestic abuse doesn’t discriminate. It happens within all age ranges, ethnic backgrounds, and financial levels. The abuse may occur during a relationship, while the couple is breaking up, or after the relationship has ended.
Despite what many people believe, domestic violence is not due to the abuser’s loss of control over his behavior. In fact, violence is a deliberate choice made by the abuser in order to take control over his wife or partner.
This wiki has been designed to enlighten and teach. As one who witnessed these things, first hand, I know how difficult it is to understand a few key points.
Violent Behavior is an Abuser's Choice!
Reasons we know an abuser's behaviors are not about anger and rage:
* He does not batter other individuals - the boss who does not give him time off or the gas station attendant that spills gas down the side of his car. He waits until there are no witnesses and abuses the person he says he loves.
* If you ask an abused woman, "can he stop when the phone rings or the police come to the door?" She will say "yes". Most often when the police show up, he is looking calm, cool and collected and she is the one who may look hysterical. If he were truly "out of control" he would not be able to stop himself when it is to his advantage to do so.
* The abuser very often escalates from pushing and shoving to hitting in places where the bruises and marks will not show (Stomach, kidneys, back). If he were "out of control" or "in a rage" he would not be able to direct or limit where his kicks or punches land (face, legs, arms).
I can go into deeper detail, but that will just be too much to read. I'll just leave it at:
If you feel you are in physical danger immediately call 911 or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-787-3224.
Remember! Domestic abuse affects everyone
. Not just the victim. If there are children, they will be affected greatly for it. Also, if you're a parent and your child comes to you with a problem about mommy or daddy hurting them or threatening them, listen
to your child, and take the appropriate action!
If you wish to be one that someone can talk to, simply ask in the comments. I'll put your name up immediately. If you wish to add your own personal experience, I'll get to work making a wiki page just for that.
Here are some people on Elfpack willing to help you, give advice or just be there when you need someone to listen.
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