[-Astonish-]'s diary

72740  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-06-23
Written: (6196 days ago)

[If I could I would do anything just to see you smile one more time.
To see you happy once again.
To be a part of your life.
To have you say you are my best friend just one more time.
To be the one who sticks up for you when people are hating.
To just be there for you just one more time before good bye.

22923  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2005-06-15
Written: (6569 days ago)
Next in thread: 22926, 22934

Ok I need serious help here guys! Anyone's advice is welcome and desperately needed!

Ok, Here we go, just a warning, it's a hella long story!

My ex and I started going out about 6 months ago and everything went cool, but about 2 weeks ago I broke it off with him cuz he wouldn't stop talking about his ex girlfriends and other stuff. I didn't want to really, cuz I still loved him, but I knew I needed some time to figure stuff out. Well, There's this thing called StockShow here, and it's like this big ol' thing. Anyways, there was a dance on Thursday, and since I'm grounded, I couldn't go. But Travis (the ex) Called and kind of asked for me back *in a way* and I said I needed to think. So the next day I hear that there's these two girls that he was practically screwing on the dance floor. And that upset me a bit. Then a mutual Friend of ours told me that one of them HAS screwed him. So on Monday I called him and I told him to be 100 percent straight up with me, and he admitted that they did. The night before, in "our spot" It absolutely broke my heart. I love him so much and I just couldn't take it. I cried for forever and junk. He apologized profusely and told me he didn't know why and that he still loved me and etc. I know I shouldn't care because we weren't officially "together" but if he still really loved me why would he do that? Everyone has told me since we first started going out that I was too good for him and deserved someone better. I just don't know what to do!

And then to add more on top of it. There's another guy...ok 2 others that I like. I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING WITH EITHER THOUGH! no matter how tempted I was. One's name is Jake, the other is Matt. I know Jake likes me *atleast I think I know that?* And then there's matt. Wow. Matt. Ok he's a whole nother story. We went to Homecoming at his school like 4 months ago, then I see him at stockshow. But there's another girl who likes him (one of the girls that could have been screwing my ex on the dance floor) and she likes him, but she's a total er...yeah... Anyways, his best friend kevin told me that the only reason he was even looking sideways at her was because he was drunk and that Matt still really liked me. And then this girls sister told me that matt told her the same thing, and that he only thought of her as a piece of ass. But this girl is SUPPOSEDLY my friend although she was all over my ex even when we were together.

So I have no Idea. Maybe I'm just being a whiny little puss bitch. But I am so confused and could seriously use some advice!

Thanks for listening to my sob story
xoxo Nikki

10850  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-03-12
Written: (6664 days ago)

I'm SO glad I'm ungrounded *YYYYYAAAAAYYY!!!!* I threw 40ft on the Javelin yesterday in practice. We just started long throwing that day to *woot!* Will says that's pretty good. I got a ride home from scotty boy too. Swanky eh? I'm bored *sigh* I wish ashley would hurry her ass up and call me back damn it. *grrrr* Hmm...I'm hungry, maybe I should eat something? I only ate breakfast...cocoa dyno bites, they're the shit man.

Whoa I'm kinda stressed right now, i can't tell why, TO ANYONE, but yeah, im stressed. I don't want ron to come home...it'll suck again when he does.

*sing* My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard *pauses* uh...oops...

Ok I'm done and bored, If ya couldn't tell, later dayz!


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