You know, I fucking tried to be nice, but i'm sick of it.
He can be a stupid judgemental asshole and noone says a fucking thing, but someone else is mean to him and everyone blows a fuse.
My Letter to Mon
Well, I was sort of wondering if we could talk..
See, Nick told me what you and him talked about..
Do you want to be my friend?
I'm asking you, because it's really important to me..
Though, I've made some mistakes, some bigger than others.
I really wish you could talk to me about what's going on,
and tell me how you feel, not someone else..
That's just how I feel, so please don't get offended..
I want us to be friends, I want your trust back,
I'll do anything to get it back. We were like brother and sister..
I want that again, you even told me you thought of me as a sister..
<=[ I know I hurt you, and I know that I've lied to you more than enough
times for you to not believe me, and I'm not saying I don't understand..
I do, I completely understand, but I'd like to earn back the trust.
Please, give me one more chance.. I won't mess this up..
I even told David about you, I told him you were someone he should talk to.
you guys would get along very well.. Atleast, that's what I feel...
Please don't let my ignorance blind you from seeing the real me..
I'm not a liar, though I have lied.. I'm being completely honest with you now..
I wouldn't lie to you again.. I promise you that, I wouldn't even think of it.
I know, my behavior before was very idiotic, actually, I can't even
describe my behavior.. Look all I know, is that I want us to talk again, to actually talk.
Not just "hi mon" "hi".. I want a conversation.. I want you to trust me.. and I know it may
take a while, but i'm willing to try, I really am... =[ You were one of my bestfriends..
and You know what, warrior was right.. I was a backstabber.. I told you guys I wouldn't go back
to Megan and then.. I did... I wanted to see the good in her... But I just couldn't see what she was doing
.. I wanted to believe she wasn't the person everyone talked about.. But it was true.. I told you guys
I wouldn't go back and befriend her, but I lied and did it anyways.. and I'm sorry.. i'm so sorry mon..
Please forgive me for how stupid I was.. For how crazy I got... =[ I'm asking you to please just...
don't hate me.. I made mistakes, but If I didn't make them.. I wouldn't have realized.. so I mean, yes..
It was dumb of me, but I finally realized the true friends I had, and that Megan is not one of them..
I'm just sorry it took that much for me to truely open my eyes... Look just.. Please talk to me about this..
I will not be on this site, but i will be inviting people to my boyfriends website soon as he gets his computer. if you are chosen to be a member of his website, i will send you a message if you dont get one im sorry. the invites are for people who i trust completely, people who have not shown me any reason not to. and alot have..
Okay, so, yesterday, I did something stupid to hurt someone. turns out I hurt others in the process:( im dumb..
My dad and I use to have a band together and we made a cd of our band..
god i was so fun..
He and I were like bestfriends, heh.. but that all changed, he has a good life now and doesnt need me or anyone else in it:(
Okay, well recently, I was that I think I'm better then everyone.
If sticking up for one of my friends makes me better then you, I'm fucking proud of it, because I'm sick of dumbass friends who can't just take a fucking hint and leave someone alone, so if you have a problem with me sticking up for one of my friends and you feel like telling me i'm a bitch and that I think i'm better then everyone else, then please comment my diary.
I'm going to smack Davids brother, he's a stupid fucking dick.
He's so cocky.
This girl who I see staring back at me, the girl with the angel eyes.
this girl who I will always prize.
Though she doesnt love me.
And we never will be.
I charish those angel eyes.
She would tell me she loved me.
Then take it back.
This notion of hers, cause my heart to crack.
Will I ever learn wll I ever meaned?
this mary-go-round love
Caused me to break and bend.
So, i'm letting her go with this note of how much
I love this girl with all that I must.
She wouldnt believe me if I said I was sorry..
I've said it too many times, and then hurt her again...
But I do love her, and want her as a friend..
I never meant to hurt her, I never mean to..
Everytime something happens, I take it out on here... I make her out to be the bad guy.. and I hurt her all the time, I yelled at her, when it wasnt even her who did it..
it was me.. I shouldve opened my eyes...
But, now it's too late......
Better off dead
Tired of drama.
Tired of trying.
Tired of hurting everyone.
I feel numb, like it matters, people will just be like" she acts like shes the only one who feels numb and sad!!"
True friends are not real, they act like it, but they are not fucking real, I'm not staying on this site, it's shit.
So, maybe I did have a problem, but, hey! I won't talk about them anymore, who knows I might bring someone down, oh no, already did.
I don't know what to feel anymore..
I fell for someone and I love him so much...
Yet, I'm crushing on her.. It's so different.. I've never felt this way about a girl.. ever... I guess i'll just have to forget those feelings and remain, I mean, I love my boyfriend, I do, and i feel like a slut for saying these things, but I'm not going to lie, I fell for a girl, and confused her.. and I hurt her.. and I regret it all:(...
You are the air in wich I breath, one of my closest memories, yet not to far away, so sweetheart, won't you stay. We've asked you time and time again, because you are our great true friend, so stay with us and keep believing, there will be noone decieving you, and if you want to, you've got me, and all your friends on here, there's no need to shed a tear we'll do, anything to see your eyes light up, when you smile^.^ so please just smile, I love you<3
It's not my best and for that I'm sorry.. but I love you Shanelle:)
I ish happy!!
I has my buddies and I don't need anyone else:):)
Made a choice yesterday,and I hope my friends can learn to accept it.
I don't like fighting with people nomatter what they've done in the past, I like to make things better...
God, people are so fucking irritating sometimes.
I said I was ugly, I didnt fucking talk shit about anyone.
and I have people bitching at me and telling me to stop causing drama, since when is caling yrself ugly a thing that causes drama, it isnt, honestly I should write in my diary more often, it's better than fighting with idiots all day.
I feel like I cant say anything without someone going completely fucking insane, and then for the last month or so, I've had to deal with "effexxxor" and it's like dude seriously, I'm sick of her, and I havnt said shit to her, if I was that immature i would sit around and toss insults back and forth but I am not. Sometimes I do say stupid shit, but I am not a little child and I'm sick of people acting like I am. I love my friends alot, they rock especially[ShanelleRenee],[Ritsuka-Kun],[wolvie],[MON CAUCHEMAR CHIMIQUE] Jonathon, and others and it's like I love them, but I am getting so tired of this site. There is really too much drama on it.
I've been feeling so different lately..
It's not bad, just different.
Happier, more giggly...
and sorta.. ghetto...O.O