geez i've been writing in this thing alot
well my sister really pissed me off. okay so there are four of us who are really good friends. im the youngest. they are starting to leave me out of everything and it really hurts. we made this fake myspace just to mess with people. well my sister sent a message to this girl who used to be my best friend and we've had a few fights and now we are just kinda friends. but the message my sister sent was really hurtful. i mean REALLY hurtful. my friend called me up and asked me if i knew anything about the person who sent it. (obviously it was a fake person) and i was like oh yeah thats my sister and her friends, dont worry about it. and so my sister flipped out on me because we werent suposed to tell anyone its us behind the fake myspace. and shes like your not hanging out with us ever again. your so stupid blah blah blah and basicly saying that im not one of them anymore. and latley they have been doing every thing with out me and like making fun of me in front of my face. they like to go and be totally crazy and cause a bunch of trouble and stuff. which is fun. but ill only do it to a limit. you know i just dont want to get in trouble. so they were like oh your such a wimp we dont like hanging out with you. so yeah thats my little story.
Everybody is gonna read this afterward... watch this video.
It is me on the news.
((((I wrote this on tuesday))))
okay so yestersday i had my surgery. because my bones are twisting. my femur is going one way, and my tibia is going the other way. so they broke my femur, twisted it and put in screws and a rod to hold it in place and keep it from twisting back. but when they put in one of he screws, my bone splintered, just like wood sometimes does when you put a nail in it. they also had to break my ankle, twist my tibia and put staples in there so it doesnt twist back either.
they had to take the rod out of my right leg from my last surgery. so since they opperated on both legs, i lost about a third of the blood in my body, so i've extremely dizzy and out of it.
last time i had the surgery i thought they used the gas to put me out so i told them that was what i wanted. so they put the mask on me and at first i felt like i was going to be sick, then light started taking over my vision and i felt like i was falling. and all i could hear were voices and i just kept shaking my head because i was scared to death. so the guy asked me if i wanted the iv so i nodded and then slowly i could see again and i felt my mom rubbing my arm and finally i was fully awake so they gave me the iv and i was out in seconds.
when i woke up i was hurting really badly and i had to stay in the recovery room for like an hour and a half so i could get a private room. the little girl a few beds down from me was screaming and crying and it was really sad.
well i finally got my room and my nurse was really dumb and cut my morphone dose in half, so all night loong i was in horrible pain, and i had to wake up every two hours to go to the bathroom because they were giving me so much stuff through my iv, and it hurt so bad to get up.
so this morning my doctor came in and upped my dosage back up to where it is suposed to be, and im on vicadin as well as morphine and valium.
so yeah thats how im doing.
I was thinking.
Isn't it weird how things can change really fast?
Like two people can go from best friends, to hating eachother.
Or hating each other to being best friends.
Or one little thing can ruin your life.
Its kinda like life and death.
One second your alive, the next your dead.
Just thought I would share what was going through my mind.
Wow, well things have not been going right for me latley.
Everything seems to be going badly, and its really starting to get to me. I really need to vent so I figured why not do it on here? Okay where do i start.
My super good friend, Erin, hates me, and i didnt do anything to deserve it. Okay well Erin and this guy named Parker have been going out for years. Well he is like my best guy friend. And I'm his best chick friend. Last year we kinda started to like eachother. We never did anything, just liked each other (and it wasn't like we wanted to like eachother because we didnt want to hurt Erin.) She found out that we liked eachother and she hated me, I deserved that though. But she tried everything to get him to like her and stuff. She spred rumors about me and was just flat out rude. We eventually made up and were friends again. But she constantly kept bringing up the Parker thing, which hurt really bad. Well then near the end of this summer we got our class scedules. I told her that Parker and I had algebra together. She freaked out and started yelling at me. Its not like I chose to have classes with him. So Parker and I have been talking alot more latley and we are just really good friends (nothing more). I can tell him everything. Okay so then about a week later Erin apologized for yelling at me and getting mad. But Since then she's hasnt really been talking to me much or anything. Well Thursday (9/13) I went to this meeting thing after school and she went too. She walked right past me and most of her friends and sat my Jade. She used to tell me how she doesnt really like Jade that much and stuff. She didn't even look at me. So thats when it hit me that she was mad at me. Well later that day I went to the football game at school. Parker showed up so we hung out. But there was a bunch of our other friends with us, so it wasnt like it was just him and I. Erin called him and he said he was at the game so the next thing we know she shows up. I said hi to her. and she said hey without even looking at me. She follows us around everywhere we go. And Parker is talking to her because she keeps crying and stuff. She gets mad at parker because he wont kiss her (they have been broken up for a few weeks, but they break up all the time.) She calls me a skank face or somthing like that. Parker tells me that she said that so I got really mad. So I said, "Hey. I'm a skank face huh?" and shes like i believe i said skank bitch. I didn't anything to deserve that. I was just hanging out with my friends.
Homecoming is in a few weeks. All my friends have dates. And nobody seems remotly interested in going with me. Which isn't that big of a deal, it just doesnt make me feel good.
I'm having surgery two days after the homcoming dance. I'm going to have to miss two or three weeks of school. So I'm scared that I'm going to get way behind in my work and fail all my classes. I'm not that scared about the surgery because I already had this surgery on my other leg. But I am scared about when I go back to school because the school is so big (its brand new this year.) And I don't want one of the upper classman to trip me on my crutches or anything because I'm still going to be in alot of pain.
There is also just a bunch of little things that go on every now and then. Like fretting about home work or something.
Well if you actually read this than, thanks. It means alot to me.
this has been the longest week ever!!!! nick has been grounded all week! i cannot wait till he becomes ungrounded!!!!
Dear Diary, my teen angst has a body count