A house torn remade anew
Divided lives inside this head
I'm spinning webs of lies
Tonight
Tonight

This town of mine
I've designed
Decompiled
Realigned
Broken hearted
Blinded mind

My dreamscape tonight
This dark city sleeps
And I will burn it down
Unawakened
Unforsaken
My pretty little town

For some reason, when I'm irritated, I turn poetic.
Then I go back to read it, and wonder what the hell I was thinking.


Really makes me wonder if what I think is real.
I guess in time I'll find out.
... I wonder if I should actually write out all of my thoughts.
Just divulge them for the sake of divulging it.
I'd blind myself with the concept that maybe someone else who reads
it would give me some foresight into it all.
But I'm kidding myself.


Just stick to it John. Just stick to the plan, and everything'll be alright.

Don't you fucking tell me about pain, god damn it.
Don't you fucking dare.


Raging tears you'll never know of.
And this is why I cry, because I promised I would.
And I'm not allowed to lie.
I wish sometimes you'd change your mind,
but nevermind, this is the way it should be
I'll apologize for me
that way when the dust settles
you'll never see
how unsettling the truth is
in such lives that don't star-cross:
My apologies.

J : Everyone loves you.
O : You love life.
H : You have good looks and a very good personality
N : You're great in bed.

****************************************************


A : You have trouble trusting people.
B : You're wild and crazy.
C : You are always fun when it comes to meeting new people.
D : You are popular with all types of people.
E : You love foreplay.
F : People totally adore you.
G : You are very friendly and understanding.
H : You have good looks and a very good personality
I : You are loved by most hated by many yet wanted by plenty
J : Everyone loves you.
K : You like to try new things.
L : When you smile you make other people smile.
M : Success comes easily to you.
N : You're great in bed.
O : You love life.
P : You are very friendly and understanding.
Q : You are a hypocrite.
R : You're really laid back and like to have fun.
S : People think you are so sexy.
T : You are one of the best in bed.
U : You are beautiful and sexy.
V : You are not judgemental.
W : You are very broad-minded.
X : You never let people tell you what to do.
Y : You make every experience great.
Z : You're super cool.


Delete the persons name and replace it with yours...
Repost this with the title "What does your name mean?"

Ahh...HA!

I was right. If depression didn't inhibit me as it does, perhaps I could be proud.

I need to trust my predictions more.. they've never been wrong.. maybe just hopefully... I'll stop getting them.

I guess... I don't know.

"Word of silence creeping silence time
  bird of sadness seeking flightless mind"

it... was nice while it lasted.

.....

Oh well.... why not.

And so... Paranoia wins by a furlong.

I have this impending anxiety.. that one that causes you to feel a void
in your stomach because you know for a certainty that this is the worst,
and the worst is here.

...I don't like this feeling.

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE !

BOO PARANOIA!
YAY HAPPINESS!

*jigs*

Japanese acid-techno with an Englishman singing:


  Word of silence
  creeping silence time
  bird of sadness
  seeking flightless mind
  Bird of silence
  breaking for this light
  Note of brigthness
  all we give
  then we're shinin', shinin', shinin'...

Is it so wrong.. that I want to live with the lie.

Aristotle, Happiness is self-contentedness

Aristotle, Young men err in everything by excess and vehemence, contrary to the precept of Chilon; they do all things too much, since they love and hate too much, and likewise in everything else. They fancy and insist that they know all things, and this is why they overdo everything.

Chilon, Nothing in excess

Democritus, Everywhere man blames nature and fate, yet his fate is mostly but the echo of his character and passions, his mistakes and weaknesses

Democritus, Happiness resides not in possessions and not in gold, the felling of happiness dwells in the soul

Epictetus, Men are not worried by things, but by their ideas about things. When we meet with difficulties, become anxious or troubled, let us not blame others, but rather ourselves, that is, our ideas about things.

Epictetus, One must not tie a ship to a single anchor, nor life to a single hope

Epictetus, Remember that you are only an actor in a play, which the manager directs

Epicurus, If you live according to nature, you will never be poor; but if according to opinions, you will never be rich. Nature demands little, opinion a great deal.

Epicurus, Live today, forget the cares of the past

Epicurus, One is rich not through one’s possessions, but through that which can can with dignity do without

Euripides, from The Children of Hercules, though I was rid of Hercules, I knew I was hated by his children, and the feud would continue, so I left no stone unturned to find the scorpions underneath; I plotted oto kill or banish them, to assure my safety.

Euripides, He who submits to fate without complaint is wise

Hecaton of Rhodes, I will reveal to you a love potion, without medicine, without herbs, without any witch’s magic; if you want to be loved, then love

Heraclitus, It is not good for all your wishes to be fulfilled: through sickness you recognize the value of health , through evil the value of good, through hunger satisfaction, through exertion, the value of rest

Homer, Bear patiently, my heart - for you have suffered heavier things

Menander, He only lives, who living enjoys life

Plato, If man is moderated and contented, then even age is no burden; if he is not, then even youth is full of cares

Plutarch, A pleasant and happy life does not come from external things: man draws from within himself, as from a spring , pleasure and joy

Pythagoras, If you have a wounded heart, touch it as little as you would an injured eye. There are only two remedies for the suffering of the soul: hope and patience

Socrates, All I know is that I know nothing

Socrates, In the world of knowledge the idea of the good appears last of all, and is seen only with effort

Socrates, Look death in the face with joyful hope, and consider this a lasting truth: the righteous man has nothing to fear, neither in life, nor in death, and the gods will not forsake him.

Socrates, Remember, no human condition is ever permanent: then you will not be overjoyed in good fortune, not too sorrowful in misfortune

Socrates, The unexamined life is not worth living

Sophocles, Every man will fall, though born a man, proudly presumes to be a superman

Sophocles, from Oedipus the King, Then I Oedipus, presented myself, who was ignorant; I consulted no augur, but by a simple effort of reflection silenced the Sphinx

Sopocles, As god disposes man laughs or weeps

Thales (Socrates cites the Seven Sages of Greece in Plato’s Protagoras), Know thyself

Thrasymachus, I proclaim that justice is nothing else that the interest of the stronger

"Today I offer all myself to this:
I'm living for my dying wish"

I never should of gone to that damned Green Day concert.
I think I'm gonna be depressed for a week.

...

Why is it every week, I find a new reason to be depressed for that week?
Maybe its just fate.
...
heh, "fate":
Humanity's way of saying "what just happened wasn't my fault."
*sighs*

...worse yet, how is it I could of predicted what happened before it did..?
and on top of that, how do I always do that?
I should not be allowed in public.

Don't forget me dear, across our great divide,
keep my memory locked with you, inside my signet case.
We'll find ourselves; two hearts apart,
for you; inside; I will never be displaced.

All cries are waking.
Every scream is heard.
Every waking moment.
Every spoken word.
Through and through the tragedy.
Deep inside the heart.
My body lies in a separate life,
as my blood, will conquer me.

goah... is it so wrong to want to rip your heart out..?

*sighs*... why do I have to be so attuned to life..? Why can't I let life go..? heh... so many decisions that I know I rightfully made... but all for the sake of life. 

heh... and all I hear repeating in my head are my own words... flowing through, in liquid tragedy.

"...when underneath it all, there's a different story,
and underneath it all, there's a heart in mourning."

...here's an addendum to the relationship decision. (condensed into three simple words.)

Don't pussy out.