How am I supposed to tell him, that all I've ever wanted is simply in his eyes. The way he talks, how he walks, god just help me get it right. Distance is a bitch, but I'd walk it all for him. How do I let him know just how much I love him? I don't know if he'll ever understand.
IT's so....hard to believe that everything that you could ever want is telling you that it's not going to work. That its just..Not how things are going to be and that you never did belong. That would sting really bad..It really does. Now..Imagine being in love with them for a long time...And having them tell you you're not good enough. Hurts worse. Now cut into yourself to bleed and make sure it wasn't all a dream. That's gonna bleed, hurt and scar, physically and emotionally. So the point...Is noticeable. Don't fall in love.
It always hurts. You're either actually wanted, being used or being pitied. Only one of them is good and the odds that you'll get that one out of the three, it's very ....Slim. Most don't give a shit. Look at the divorce rates. They are climbing way too high. I'm not going to be a number on that chart. So you all know what, I'll stop falling in love if you'll learn how to stop hurting me. I'm done hurting. My heart is now in a little powder, crushed and ground so that its so fine, you can't see how small just one little grain of it is. It's sad that that's all that I have left. I'm used to all this by now. My real friends are there for me. Otherwise, please go away.
I'm so madly in love that I can't see straight but I'm doing the same thing that I used to do when I loved Ashely. I say the wrong things and I get scared of everything. I just want them so badly to be happy that I'm convinced that they'd rather be with someone else aside of being with a person like me. I can't handle being alone, but maybe I should be. No one really needs to be with me. Their minds are just so wrapped around the person that I am and the person that they want me to be and they're so entranced to it. I feel horrid. Maybe I should just be a different person altogether. Or I should just leave. If I left no one would get hurt anymore cause no one would even know I was missing. Am I even missing? Am I here? Who am I? No one will remember. I can't for my life stop running from what I should be running to. I feel bad but I guess....I guess he's right. I'm not supposed to be around people. Just lock myself in a closed off room till the oxygen is no longer around and...Then maybe everyone can be happy. I'll be dead.
I'm in love with more than just pretension. He's all that I want all that I need. He's perfect and I'm so happy that I've met him. I love you. So much.
Look, I do love you but I really don't know what I'm supposed to do now because youre all that I care about and I don't need you moving farther away. I'm already in pain, I know that'd kill me
Just how important am I to you if can't look me in the eye and tell me that I mean something? Why is it that everyone I used to care so much for is hateful and spiting. Why am i not more important? WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING WRONG?!?!?!
Okay, sorry for my little spout off, no one has to pay attention to it. No one really paid me any attention in the first place. I don't see why now would be any different. I guess I truely am unseen. No one really cares anymore..How sad..
I guess being alone isn't so bad...
I'm so...tired of not being able to sleep. I'm so tired of no one really sticking around to help me anymore. I'm just so sick of this world. Can someone tell me why the hell im here or why I'm here? I don't think so. don't try . You dont know me and I dont know me. Go to hell...Wait no
I don't want you in my house
I feell.....the love..I always wanted...and it comes in a new package...and he's just so
REAL
and
I wish he would be mine...
This is kinda lame. Here I am sitting in class on a friends laptop and i can find NOTHING to do. Totally lame. Thats right, Vampy can't find anything to do which makes me a little sad. I feel retarded about that. But aside of that, I have totally bad burns on my arm. Thanks a lot stupid people that mess around in the kitchen. Well, I think that you are all a bunch of weirdos...Just messing around. talk to me when i get home. Goodbye