[ladynightengale]'s diary

121179  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2009-02-14
Written: (4127 days ago)

The darkness grips at me like a vice,
squeezing out my breath and I
want to bawl.
The emptiness is making my
skin crawl;
Now I'm as cold as ice.

It creeps around me,
snuffing out the light.
It muffles out the sound,
and takes away my sight.

Who knew it could be scarry?
It cloaks me like a thick void.
Now a-days I'm oh so warry;
like shooting star in the sky.

Some people think I'm silly,
for being so scared.
Other's agree willingly,
but to me they just don't get it.

They don't feel how it grips at my soul;
tearing at my hair, like an ugly troll.
No matter how hard I try,
I can't seem to get away.
The more I try to calm my fears,
the more I want to cry.

Emotion is flooding through me now,
its getting harder to breathe.
I'll get past the fear some how,
while I clench and grind my teeth.

This fear is very real to me,
I don't know what to do.
I wish I could make you see,
what I feel, in my eye, is true.

When you mock and make fun,
all you see is the sun.
You're not being very fair,
and I can tell you just don't care.

"Turn on a light," you say,
"and it'll all go away."
If it were only that simple.
I could play it like a cymbal.

I feel as though the darkness
could take me down and out.
On an invisible map, with an
unfathomable route.

I'd bite my lip bottom lip
as it'd take me.
fighting back my screams,
my tears blinding me so I can't see.

"Into the darkness you must go!"
a thick voice said.
"Do not worry, in the morning you'll
be dead!"
Will you notice I'm gone?
I guess I'll never know...

121152  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2009-02-13
Written: (4128 days ago)

Once Upon A Time

There once lived a lonely wizard who wore a pointed hat of blue,
He said the world was in your hands and our prophecies rang true.
We asked him what he meant and his wrinkled brow gave rise,
The amber of his campfire lit sad moonbeams in his eyes.
“Once upon a time,” he said, “I walked across the sky,
I found the heart of Neptune and I think I now know why.”
“But Neptune dwells not in the sky!” you exclaimed bemusedly,
The wizard nodded, pipe in hand and then replied confusedly,
“Once upon a time, there was a child of Neptune born,
A child so filled with fury that the seas were rife with scorn.
His dear father could not bear to see his kingdom so forlorn,
So he in his madness slew the child he could not mourn.
But with his onward guilt amounting he bade that every ocean dry,
There was nothing still that could repent the countless nights he cried.
But as the poisoned days went by he knew with every bated breath,
That whilst he was victorious the other was victorious in death.”
We took in his tortured tale as he puffed rings and rings of smoke,
An ebony sky loomed overhead the moment the silence broke.
“But what is this to our quest at hand?” I inquired impatiently,
The wizard scowled, and rasped again in whispers without glee;
“It means that Neptune took his life and tore his heart out from his chest;
He placed it in the clouds in hope his guilt would come to rest.
But no longer, for the skies have stirred since our meeting here tonight;
A treacherous fate is placed upon you - I hope to the gods I am not right.
For Neptune swore his son would return in the one whose eyes are darkest blue –
And if truth is in all you told me, then Neptune’s son is you.”
I see your abyssal eyes now widen with shock beget from guilt –
You can’t imagine that your father was the one whose blood you spilt.
As your past comes running back I wondered where I was in all of this,
But then I see the fate you have and decided ignorance is bliss.

118946  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2008-10-29
Written: (4235 days ago)

I stoled it from [DeeJay™]

(X) smoked a cigarette
( ) smoked a cigar
( ) crashed a friend's car
( ) stolen a car
(X) been in love
(X) been dumped
(X) shoplifted
(X) been fired
(X) been in a fist fight
( ) snuck out of my parent's house
(X) had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back
( ) been arrested
(x) gone on a blind date
(X) lied to a friend
( ) had a crush on a teacher
( ) skipped school
( ) seen someone die
( ) been to Wales
( ) been to Japan
( ) been on a plane
(x) eaten Sushi
( ) been moshing at a concert
(x) been in an abusive relationship
(X) made a snow angel
(X) taken painkillers
(X) love someone or miss someone right now
(X) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
( ) had a tea party
(X) flown a kite
(X) built a sand castle
(X) gone puddle jumping
(X) played dress up
(X) jumped into a pile of leaves
(X) gone sledding
(X) cheated while playing a game
(X) been lonely
( ) fallen asleep at work/school
(X) used a fake id
(X) watched the sun set
(X) felt an earthquake
(X) slept beneath the stars
(X) been tickled
(X) been robbed
(X) been misunderstood
(X) won a contest
(X) been in a car thats run a red light
( ) been suspended from school
( ) been in a car accident
( ) had braces
(X) felt like an outcast
( ) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(X) had deja vu
(X) danced in the moonlight
(X) hated the way you look
(X) witnessed a crime
(X) questioned your heart
( ) been obsessed with post-it notes
(X) been lost
(X) been to the opposite side of the country
(X) swam in the ocean
(X) cried yourself to sleep
(X) played cops and robbers
( ) recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers
(X) sung karaoke
( ) paid for a meal with only coins
(X) done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(X) made prank phone calls
(X) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(X) caught a snowflake on your tongue
(X) danced in the rain
(X) written a letter to Santa Claus
(X) been kissed under a mistletoe
( ) watched the sun set with someone you care about
(X) blown bubbles
(X) made a bonfire
(X) crashed a party
(X) gone rollerskating/blading
(X) had a wish come true
( ) worn pearls
( ) screamed penis in class
(X) ate dog/cat food
(X) told a complete stranger you loved them
(X) sang in the shower
(X) had a dream that you married someone
(X) glued your hand to something
(X) got your tongue stuck to a flag pole
(X) worn the opposite sexes clothes
(X) sat on a roof top
(X) screamed at the top of your lungs
( ) done a one-handed cartwheel
( ) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours
(X) stayed up all night
(X) pick and ate an apple right off the tree
(X) climbed a tree
(X) had a tree house
( ) are scared to watch scary movies alone
(/) believe in ghosts
( ) have more then 30 pairs of shoes
(X) had sex
(X) played chicken
(X) been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on
(X) been told you're hot by a complete stranger
(X) broken a bone
(X) been easily amused
( ) caught a fish then ate it
(X) caught a butterfly
(X) laughed so hard you cried
( ) cried so hard you laughed
(X) mooned/flashed someone
(X) had someone moon/flash you
(X) cheated on a test
( ) had a Spice Girl CD
(X) forgotten someone's name
(X) slept naked
( ) skinny dipped in a pool
( ) been kicked out of your house
(X) bitten your finger nails
(X) hated someone
( ) believe in God
( ) believe in Satan
(X) have a fav band
( ) own more than 100 CDs (would vinyls be included? vinyls = X)

118426  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2008-10-02
Written: (4262 days ago)

I found this on one of my friends myspace pages. I absolutely loved it. It kinda hits the nail on the head about my feelings at the moment.

Empty words flow out of my hidden lips,
My mind crumbles, my soul dies, by body chips.
I try to reach you but you're too near to feel,
I cover my chest because my invisible scare hasn't healed.
I open my eyes because when closed I see too much,
Time moves at a pause but I'm in a rush.
I'm walking to fast but its getting me nowhere,
My heart can't over flow there's too much love to share.
No sound vibrations go in one ear and out the other,
I'm a galaxy away but you feel smothered.
St. Valentine takes a vacation on February fourteenth,
Our broken chain has way too many links.
I'm driving a race car out of your mind,
But you're walking a treadmill out of mine.

105282  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2007-09-07
Written: (4653 days ago)

Daddy's Poem

Her hair was up in a pony tail,

her favorite dress tied with a bow.

Today was Daddy's Day at school,

and she couldn't wait to go.

But her mommy tried to tell her,

that she probably should stay home.

Why the kids might not understand,

if she went to school alone.

But she was not afraid;

she knew just what to say.

What to tell her classmates

of why he wasn't there today.

But still her mother worried,

for her to face this day alone.

And that was why once again,

she tried to keep her daughter home.

But the little girl went to school

eager to tell them all.

About a dad she never sees

a dad who never calls.

There were daddies along the wall in back,

for everyone to meet.

Children squirming impatiently,

anxious in their seats.

One by one the teacher called

a student from the class.

To introduce their daddy,

as seconds slowly passed.

At last the teacher called her name,

every child turned to stare.

Each of them was searching,

for a man who wasn't there.

"Where's her daddy at?"

she heard a boy call out.

"She probably doesn't have one,"

another student dared to shout.

And from somewhere near the back,

she heard a daddy say,

"Looks like another deadbeat dad,

too busy to waste his day."

The words did not offend her,

as she smiled up at her Mom.

And looked back at her teacher,

who told her to go on.

And with hands behind her back,

slowly she began to speak.

And out from the mouth of a child,

came words incredibly unique.

"My Daddy couldn't be here,

because he lives so far away.

But I know he wishes he could be,

since this is such a special day.

And though you cannot meet him,

I wanted you to know.

All about my daddy,

and how much he loves me so.

He loved to tell me stories

he taught me to ride my bike.

He surprised me with pink roses,

and taught me to fly a kite.

We used to share fudge sundaes,

and ice cream in a cone.

And though you cannot see him.

I'm not standing here alone.

"Cause my daddy's always with me,

even though we are apart

I know because he told me,

he'll forever be in my heart".

With that, her little hand reached up,

and lay across her chest.

Feeling her own heartbeat,

beneath her favorite dress.

And from somewhere here in the crowd of dads,

her mother stood in tears.

Proudly watching her daughter,

who was wise beyond her years.

For she stood up for the love

of a man not in her life.

Doing what was best for her,

doing what was right.

And when she dropped her hand back down,

staring straight into the crowd.

She finished with a voice so soft,

but its message clear and loud.

"I love my daddy very much,

he's my shining star.

And if he could, he'd be here,

but heaven's just too far.

You see he was a policeman

and died just this past year

When airplanes hit the towers

and taught Americans to fear.

But sometimes when I close my eyes,

it's like he never went away."

And then she closed her eyes,

and saw him there that day.

And to her mothers amazement,

she witnessed with surprise.

A room full of daddies and children,

all starting to close their eyes.

Who knows what they saw before them,

who knows what they felt inside.

Perhaps for merely a second,

they saw him at her side.

"I know you're with me Daddy,"

to the silence she called out.

And what happened next made believers,

of those once filled with doubt.

Not one in that room could explain it,

for each of their eyes had been closed.

But there on the desk beside her,

was a fragrant long-stemmed pink rose.

And a child was blessed, if only for a moment,

by the love of her shining star.

And given the gift of believing,

that heaven is never too far.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person,

an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them,

but then an entire life to forget them.

Send this to the people you'll never forget, and

remember to send it also to the person that sent

it to you. It's a short message to let them know

that you'll never forget them.

If you don't send it to anyone, it means you're

in a hurry and that you've forgotten your


Take the time...to live and love!

103354  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2007-08-03
Written: (4688 days ago)

1 . Tell her she is beautiful (not fine, or sexy)

2 . Hold her hand at any moment . . . even if its just for a second.

3 . Kiss her on the forehead.

4 . Leave her voice messages to wake up to.

5 . When she is upset, hold her tight and tell her how much she means to you.

6 . Recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most.

7 . Pick her over all the other girls you hang out with.

8 . Write her notes. (she loves them)

9 . Introduce her to family and friends . . . as your girlfriend.

10 . Play with her hair.

11 . Pick her up, tickle her, and play-wrestle with her.

12 . Sit in the park and just talk to her.

13 . Tell her funny jokes, tell her stupid jokes, or just tell her jokes.

14 . Let her fall asleep in your arms.

15 . If she's mad at you, kiss her.

16 . Give her piggyback rides.

17 . Bring her flowers

18 . Treat her the same around your friends as you do when your alone.

19 . Look her in the eyes and smile.

20 . Let her take as many pictures of you as she wants.

21 . Kiss her in the rain.

22 . If your in love with her . . . tell her.

Guys repost this if u would do it.....

Girls repost this if u think its sweet......

Repost this as "22 Ways To Make A Girl Smile "

101504  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2007-06-26
Written: (4726 days ago)

So I was hanging out with Jennifer and Alyssa last night (I had to get out friend Linesy a baby shower gift) and I saw hair dye on sale, I thought to myself (and out loud) Oh it would be nice to dye my hair back to its normal color (or as close as I can get)
Anyways, we all went down the aisle and was looking at the different colors, I chose a medium brown color (I think we all did actually) we punched out and the two of them took me home.
I got all my stuff ready that I needed (when I got home) to dye my hair, Added the color, and waited the 25 minutes. I hopped in the shower to rince the dye and then I finished washing, when I got out of the shower I looked in the mirror and saw that my hair was BLACK!! Not BROWN but BlAcK!!! I wanted to cry :(
Not only does it look bad on me, but it totally wases my skin tone right out, I look like a friggen ghost!! I think that I'm going to have to buy another thing of hair dye and re-dye it.
I donno, what do you all think??

96203  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2007-03-09
Written: (4836 days ago)

Body: To every girl....if you almost cry while reading this, it includes you....

To every girl that
dresses cute, not skanky.

To every girl who
wants to be called beautiful, not hot.

To every girl that will spend her whole day
looking for the perfect present for you.

To every girl who gets her heart
broken, because he chose that bitch instead

To every girl that would die
to have a decent boyfriend.

To every girl who would just once like
to be treated like a princess.

To every girl that cries at night
because of another heartbreak.

To every girl that won't get down on her knees
and open her mouth just to get a boyfriend.

To every girl that
just wants to hold hands.

To every girl that
kisses him with meaning.

To every girl who
just wishes he cared more.

To every girl who would just once want a guy to give
their jacket up when they are cold.

To every girl who
just wants him to call.

To every girl who lies
awake at night thinking about him.

To every girl that
just wants to cuddle.

To every girl that
just wants to sleep with him without having sex.

To every girl that is SCARED to put her heart
out there again, because she has been HURT
too many times or so badly.

To every girl who shows how much
she cares and gets nothing back.

To every girl that thought
'maybe this one could be the one'.

To every girl that laughs at stupid stuff
when she actually doesn't think it is funny.

To every girl who is just looking for that one
and only and is having a rough time along the way.

To every girl that has been cheated on,
because she's not a slut who gives it up to any guy.

To every girl that doesn't want a guy who
just plays with her emotions but actually cares
about how she feels.

To every girl who wants
words backed up with actions.

To every girl that fell for all the lies
only to find themselves alone in the end.

To every girl that gave her heart away
to have it shoved back in her face.

To every girl that has faith that 'tomorrow will be a better day.'

And it will be. Trust me.

*If you are a nice girl repost this as: "To every girl."

*If you are a guy that thinks every girl should try to think about even a few of these things repost it as "I am looking for this girl

95816  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2007-03-03
Written: (4841 days ago)

I am soo tired...
Tired of being that girl who's "just a friend", "the little sister" or "one of the guys"
I want to be the girl who's "yeah she's mine" Or "I love her soo much"
Why is it that every time I feel like I could love someone they turn right around and tell me that they love someone else? Why can't I ever be the one who's loved?!
Damnit! I'm tired.. And as of right now I give up...
I give up on looking, I give up on trying to find "Mr. Right" because as far as I'm conserned, he doesn't exsist!
Or at least not for me anyways...
If he did exsist, wouldn't I have found him by now? Wouldn't I be happy?
I know one thing's for sure, I wouldn't constantly be getting my heart broken over and over.
If it breaks any more there isn't gonna be any left!

All around me my friends are in love and happy, they've all got boyfriends, and are engaged, and are pregnant or already have kids.
Me I've got nothing!! But splotchy eyes, and runny nose, tear streaked cheeks and a heart that's ripping at the seams...
I'm happy for my friends, I can't be nothing but happy for them. But I do feel a pang of jelousy when I see them, their eyes shining with love and a smile on their faces.. I wish it was me... I wish so bad that I was in love and was loved back...
But I guess that's not for me...
and its not fair!!

Ok well I think this is where I'm gonna end this..

             Sadly your's
                        a.k.a. ladynightengale

85386  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2006-10-19
Written: (4976 days ago)

Ok, I know that I just left an entry but I just found this and thought it was really good, so I thought I'd share... Hope you like it....

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasnt supposed to ever let us down probably will.
You'll have your heart broken and you'll break others' hearts.

You'll fight with your best friend and maybe even fall out with them, and you'll cry because time is flying by.

So take too many pictures, laugh too much, forgive freely, and love like you've never been hurt.

Life comes with no guarentees, no time outs, no second chances.

You just have to live life to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you and tell someone off, speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someones hand, comfort a friend, fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, be a flirt and smile until your face hurts.

Don't be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all, live in the moment because every second you spend angry is a second of happiness you can never get back !

85372  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2006-10-19
Written: (4976 days ago)

Wow! Haven't made one of these in a while... what to type down?

Lets see.... A diary entry...Well, I think I'll just start by telling you how I've been doing and go from there. How does that sound?

Ok, well, I am wonderful. I have been very busy with church and play practice.
I'm in the process of becomming a member of my church, and that's really exciting! And, I'm also preparing for my baptism on the 12th of November, which I'm also very excited for! However, I am kinda nervous...
Oh! I am also in a play at my church. It's a chiristmas play; called "I'll be home for Christmas" and its about a bunch of people who live in an appartment complex, who have become friends over the years and consider eachother family!
It takes place in the year 1941, around the time of the December 7th attack. Its really, REALLY good. I love it, and the first time I read through the script I cried.

Ummm... What else.... Oh! I'm looking for a job, so that I can pay my doctor bills and my phone bills... Hopefully soon I'll get one...
But, other than that folks...My life is pretty boring...
So I guess that brings my diary entry to a conclusion, Wouldn't you say?

Ok well have a wonderful day all...


76564  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2006-07-17
Written: (5070 days ago)

well accoriding to this message i should leave a diary note...

{Message to all: Isn't it time to write a diary-note so that all your friends get reminded about you? ;)}

...but now that i am i have nothing to say so i guess i'll leave a better one someonther day ^.^

29549  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2005-07-21
Written: (5431 days ago)

so can somebody tell me how to earn cool points? what are they for? i've been gone for too long.

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