ANYBODY WHO CHECKS OUT MY HOUSE MUST SIGN MY GUESTBOOK!!!!!!!!



A girl and guy were speeding, on a motorcycle, over 90 mph on the road..



Girl: Slow down. I’m scared.


Guy: No, this is fun.



Girl: No, it’s not. Please, it’s too scary!



Guy: Then tell me you love me.



Girl: Fine, I love you. Slow down!



Guy: Now give me a BIG hug.



*Girl hugs him*



Guy: Can you take my helmet off & put it on yourself? It’s bugging me.



(In the paper the next day)


A motorcycle crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it, but



only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized that his
breaks broke, but he didn’t want to let the girl know. Instead, he had her say she loved
him & felt her hug one last time, then had her wear his helmet so that she would live even
though it meant that he would die.


If you love someone this much paste it in your house.


        article in a paper

  A boy-child grows up and enters into adolescence, a phase of life so classically coined by Tori Amos as "the cruelest place on Earth."
  He runs with the other boys, experiences puberty's onset and discovers several areas of his body that mysteriously sprouted hair overnight.

  Boys and girls start to discover that the opposite sex really isn't all that "yucky" after all. But the boy-child is finding an endearment not toward girls, but toward boys.

  Wait. This can't happen. This is strange, confusing and horrific. What if the others catch wind of this? So the proverbial closet door shuts for the first time with a scared and confused adolescent taking shelter in the darkness cast by society's generally negative perception of homosexuality.

  As the boy grows into his mid-to-late teen years, he'll experience an overwhelming auditory assault of homophobic slang phrases such as: "What a fag," "That's so gay" and/or "You homo," among many, many others.

  All will laugh. Even the closeted adolescent will, if just to hide himself while being verbally derogated. It's his secret, and no one knows about it. After all, the general assumption by society is that EVERYONE is born heterosexual.

  The rest of his story, summarized, is that after years of "closeting" himself in fear, having secret relationships with other guys (that result in a positive confirmation that the boy is indeed gay) and feeling claustrophobic behind that damned closet door, he finally snaps. That's it. He cannot take it anymore.

  He opens the door, he steps out and allows himself the freedom to be who he truly is - the person he was BORN as.

  Homosexuality is NOT a choice.

  Who in their right mind would CHOOSE to be gay with all the stigmas, fears and violent acts directed toward gays by society?

  When confronted with the possibility of ostracism for leading a "taboo" lifestyle, being granted few (if any) legal rights or protections, and the threat of suffering violent (sometimes deadly) acts of homophobia, then tell me: Who would freely DECIDE to be homosexual?

  But people love to throw the church, the Bible, Jesus Christ and God into the equation. Let me guess: the Bible says homosexuality is wrong. Check the story of Cain and Abel. God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve, right?

  This implies that gay people are the spawn of Satan, as if we're all inherently evil, soulless sub-humans, void of any spiritual beliefs whatsoever.

  Then there's the issue of genetics and scientific research. True, there is no research that has proven that being gay isn't a choice. But how can such research be done? By trapping an adolescent like a lab-rat and monitoring his brain-activity to determine if he does indeed CHOOSE to like boys instead of girls at the onset of hormonal rage?

  And then there's always those uneducated assumptions that gay people either come from troubled or broken homes, or were raised mostly (or solely) by family members of the opposite sex.
  These "theories" are all completely unsubstantiated.

  Men will not always turn out gay just because they were raised by a mother and three sisters. They may just end up with a greater respect for and understanding of women.

  Like so many other gay people, I didn't come from a troubled or broken home. In fact, I'll be watching my parents happily celebrate their 28th anniversary this coming spring.

  And how do we know for sure that people weren't born gay? Research hasn't been able to present any certainties and religious dogmas can't agree on whether or not the Bible does indeed say that being gay is "wrong." What about those churches that welcome gay people? What about those churches that have gay priests, clergy and staff?

  The only choice involved with being gay is when a person decides between living in the closet and hiding behind a facade, or deciding to accept, acknowledge and BE who they are.

  And what of that adolescent, as he made the transition into adulthood?

  Well, with loving compassion toward himself, the young man peeked his head out the closet door. Then he kicked it down in the name of truth. Freedom is beautiful.










Have I ever:
1. Smoked a cigarette: yea
2. Smoked a cigar: yes
3. Snorted coke: yupper
4. Smoked Weed: definitly
5. Been high: yeah
6. Had sex: yes
7. Said "I hope you die" to someone: who hasn't
8. Tried to kill someone: not yet
9. Tried to kill yourself: many of times
10. Got in a fist fight: yea
11. Lied to your parents: a lot more than i should have
12. Given someone a bruise: yup
13. Ditched someone: of course
14. Freak danced: yea
15. Stole something: many of times
16. Cut yourself: check the scars
17. Skipped school: yea
18. Hung up on someone: every chance I get
19. Threw up at school: yea I do it on purpose to get out of school
20. Had sex with a member of the same sex: yes I like both sexes
21. Kissed someone of the same sex: yea
22. Had a burping contest: yup I didnt win my friend michelle did
23. Snuck out: yea
24. Been to a school dance: yea most of them have sucked
25. Thought your teacher was hot:yes
26. Swore in front of your parents: yes



http://tinypic.com/view.html
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Follow these rules to maintain your sanity:

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.


2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.


3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.


4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in"


5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.


6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors".


7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."


8. Don't use any punctuation marks


9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.


10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.


11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".


12. Sing along at the opera


13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.


14. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.


15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.


16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard Devon.


17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!", "I won!" "3rd time this week!!!!!"


18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "run for your lives, they're loose!!"


19. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."


20. Put this in all of your profiles.






Bands that I like:

Dave Matthews Band
AFI
Story of the Year
My Chemical Romance
Good Charlotte
Five For Fighting
Smile Empty Soul
AC/DC
metallica
Led Zepplin
Greenday
The Getaway
Snow Patrol
Stereo Fuse
Sugarcult
System of a Down
HIM


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THINGS GUYS WANT GIRLS TO KNOW!





1. We're not as perverted as you think we all are.
2. No matter what YOU say, your ex-boyfriend IS a LOSER.
3. We like you to give us hugs and kisses sometimes too.
4. Don't argue with us when we call you beautiful.
5. Don't treat us like crap, what goes around comes around.
6. We know you're pretty, that's one of the reason's we're going out with you.
7. Don't go into detail about your period. It scares us.
8. If you have cramps and we ask you what's wrong, just tell us it's that time of the month and nothing more.
9. If you really liked us for us, you would let us think that our mustache, beard, or sideburns looked cool.
10. We never shave our legs. So get over it.
11. NEVER ask us if you can put makeup on us. It's just wrong............
12. Don't make bets about us, because one of your friends will tell us, if you don't.
13. When we tell you that you're not fat, believe us.
14. We absolutely do not care about the Backstreet Boys, *NSYNC, 98 Degrees, or what any other guy looks like for that matter.
15. We may not be able to pee accurately all of the time, but at least we can stand up and go pee.
16. Just cause you think you're always right, doesn't mean that you don't have to apologize when you do something "wrong."
17. You expect us to say and do sweet things for you, but it would be nice if you did the same every once in a while. We like to know that you love us.
18. We can't always be spontaneous, so try to help us make the plans sometimes.
19. Don't ask us to beat up another guy for you, cause you might get what you wish for.
20. Never kick us in the nuts "just to see what we would say". That's just mean.
21. Never pretend like you are going to break up with us and laugh when we believe you.
22. Pamela Anderson's boobs aren't fake anymore, but we like yours better anyway.
23. Size doesn't matter, except to idiots who don't want a relationship
24. PMS is not an excuse.
25. If you want us to put the seat down when we're done, you should put it up when you're done.
26............ Don't tell us how cute your ex-boyfriend was. That doesn't turn us on.
27. And always remember: The way to a guys heart is through his stomach..... and maybe....oh nevermind.
28. NEVER ask us to kiss other guys. You might be that comfy with your friends, but to us it's just wrong.
29. We always notice how funny it is after you rip out our heart, stick it down our throat and still want to be friends.
30. We know you're not always right, but we'll pretend like you are anyway
31. And last but not least: If your fighting a guy and your winning no matter how much you deny it HE is still letting you win!


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Here's a question list I stole:



001: Name: John
002: Nickname(s): Elliot
003: Country of living: USA
004: Birth date: May 26,1988
005: Hair Length: long
006: Eye color: Green
007: Shoe size: 11 or 12
008: School/work: Schools out right now and I havn't a job just yet.
009: You smoke: not any more
010: Hobbies: to may to list right now
011: Brothers/Sisters: One sister
012: Relationship:Not right now
013: Piercing(s): NOne parents wont let me
017: Nicest person you met this year:No one that I can think of
018: Person you rather not have met this year: No one I can think of...
019: Who would you like to meet: Online friends and one of my hereos not sure which one but one day I will.
020: Who do you admire most: I admire someone.
021: Most sexy person(s): Johnny Depp in Pirates of the Caribean
022: Favorite Pajamas: Nothing I find clothes uncomfortable when I'm trying to sleep
023: Favorite Car: Mustang
024: Favorite Movie(s): Oh at the moment I'm not sure
025: Favorite Music: Almost everything but usually alternative
026: Favorite City(s): London
027: Favorite Plush: not sure
028: Favorite Perfume/aftershave: Hollister cologne
029: Favorite Magazine: not sure I dont look at to many magazines
030: Favorite sound: Rain gently falling on a tinroof it is so relaxing
031: Favorite TV-series: buffy, charmed, law and order:svu, will and grace, and ummmmmm invaer zim
032: Favorite Writer: Anna Rice
033: Favorite Nickname: Elliot
034: What is on your mouse pad: My mouse
035: What all is under your bed: cds that I dont use anymore since I have gotten my iPOD
036: Favorite color: pink and black
037: Favorite Song ever: "Gravedigger" by Dave Matthews
038: Favorite song at this moment: same as above.
039: Favorite food: Italien and chines or japanese.
040: Favorite class in school: Music...
041: Favorite drink: Mountain Dew.
042: Lucky number: 2
043: What do you think is greatest about yourself: I am open with most all people and I adapt quickly to my suroundings and what is going on at the moment.
044: What deodorant do you use: Old Spice
045: Favorite shoes: Adios or sandles
046: What time do you go to bed on weekdays: Whatever time I want
047: What word do you use most: Yea
048: Most romantic moment in your life: The first time the person I thought was the love of my life kissed me.
049:Most embarrassing moment in your life: If I told you I would have to kill you.
050: You spend your time rather inside or outside: It depends on what mood I'm in but it is usually inside.
051: What do you do in the weekends: Chat online and do whatever I feel like doing.
052: What class in school you dislike most: Math
053: Your Breakfast: A bagel or nothing.
054: What do you really dislike to eat: Most seafood except for sushi I love it.
055: Pets: 2 dogs Ollie and Oscar.
056: Laugh or Dream: both but I rater dream
058: Fast or slow: Start out slow then go to fast
059: You prefer being alone or have a relationship: I dont mind being alone but I love to be with someone.
060: Simple or complicated: Both at times
061: Cremate or Buried when dead: Buried.
062: Sex or Alcohol: sex!
063: Stay up late or go to bed early: Stay up late wake up late
064: Light or dark: It all depends on my mood.
065: Speak or Silence: I am silent when I want to be but I also put my opinion in everything.
066: Tall or small : I like em tall
067: News paper: nope
068: Hug or kiss: hugs from everyone but kisses from the one I'm with
069: Happy or Sad:I like to be happy but lately I've been sad.
070: Life or Death:life is only the begining of death.
071: Gig or Disco: disco
072: Left or Right: right
073: Sausages on top, or on the side: on the side
074: Dark/ red/ Blonde: any
075: What would you ask God if you could ask him 1 single question: There are to many questions to choose from
076: You believe in reincarnation: no
077: You believe in Aliens: of course
078: When you die, what will be your last words?: dont know yet im not dying
079: Does true love exist: Yes I believe it is out there somewhere.
080: How many kids would you like to have: None
081: What is the one thing you can't stand: Hypocrits and liers
082: Best feeling: My loved one with his arms wrapped around me to comfort me when I need him to.
083: Worst feeling in the world: Not having anyone
084: What are you afraid of: failing
085: Are you an emotional person: Yes I am a pretty emotional person
086: Do you ever cry during a movie: Once during the The notebook
087: Your goal in life: To suceed in something
088: What was the promise you made to yourself at new years eve: I didn't make one this year.
089: Favorite art-artist: Dont have one
090: As what animal would you like to reincarnate: A lyger
091: What is the most beautiful part on the male body: The eyes and his abs.
092: Most original place to ask your love to marry you: In a tree.
093:What do you think of Elftown: So far so great
094: Is there something you miss about elftown: not really
095: Where did you get this question list: UHhhhhhh from someone
095: Besides elftown, what do you do most on your PC: Chat with my friends, Check up on my fav bands.
096: Is there a question you missed in this all: nope
097: Favorite Actor: Johnny Depp.
098: Favorite Actress: Not sure
099: Favorite Animes: Spirited away.
100: Favorite MangAs: Goku Midnight eye
102: What super power do you wish to have: invisibility and mind reading
103: Your gender: Male
104: Straight/gay/BI: bi
105: Single: Single healing from last one
106: Want to be: Not sure
107: Age you act: I act pretty mature.
108: Age you wish you were: not sure
109: Your height: 5'9
110: Happy with it: yes
111: The color of your hair: brown
112: Happy with it: yea
113: Left/right/ambidextrous: right
114: Your living arrangement: I am living with my parents because I am still in high school
115: What's your job: None at the moment.
116: Piercing: none
117: Obsessions: None that I can think of
118: Do you speak another language: Yes French
119: Have a favorite quote: "Be who you are and say what you want because those who matter dont mind and those who mind dont matter."
120: Do you have a WebPage: Not at the moment
121: Where Do you live in the moment: USA
122: Do you consider yourself tolerant of others: Sometimes but not most of the times.
123: Do you have any secrets: Yes and no one will know about them.
124: Do you hate yourself: I use to but not anymore.
125: Do you like your handwriting: yes
126: Do you have any bad habits: Quite a few/
127: What is the compliment you get most from people: How nice I am.
128: If a movie were made about your life, what would it be called: The Struggle
131: Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool: Nope I act like myself around everyone wether they like it or not.
132: Are you a loner: Most times.
133: If you were another person, would you be friends with you: Yea
134: Are you a daredevil: Yea I do whatever I think will be fun and I'm not afraid to take risks.
135: Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself: YEs
136: Are you passive or aggressive: I try to stay passive but I can be aggresive
137: Have you got a question: Nope
138: What is your greatest strength and weakness: My determination and ummmmmm How easily broken I am.
139: If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be: Nothing
140: There are three wells, love, beauty and creativity, which one do you choose: Creativity
141: How do you vent: I use to cut but now I write.
142: Do you think you are emotionally strong: YEs most of the time
143: Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life: Plenty of things but in life there are always things that you regret doing or not doing.
144: Do you think life has been good so far: Most of it yes.
145: What is the most important lesson you've learned from life: Don't get your hopes up someone always knocks you down.
145: What do you like the most about your body: My hair and eyes.
146: And least: My chest.
147: Do you think you are good looking: I dont judge myself.
148: Are you confident: sometimes yes sometimes no.
149: What is the fictional character you're most like: I have to think it over.
150: Do people know how you feel: Most of the time.
151: Are you perceived wrongly: Yea
152: Smoke: Not anymore
153: Do drugs: Nope
154: Read the newspaper: sometimes
155: Pray: Yes...
156: Go to church: yes
157: Talk to strangers who IM you: yea
158: Sleep with stuffed animals: not lately
160: Talk to people even though you hate them: sometimes
161: Drive: Not yet
162: Like to drive fast: yea
163: Like your voice: yea
164: Hurt yourself: Not anymore.
165: Been out of the country: Once
166: Eaten something that made other people sick: of course
167: Burped: Yes
168: Been unfaithful: Nope.
169: Been in love: Yes and it was the biggest mistake of my life.
170: Done drugs: yes.
171: Gone skinny-dipping: Plenty of times
172: Had a surgery: yea
173: Ran away from home: No...
174: Played strip poker: every cahnce I get
175: Gotten beaten up: only once
176: Been picked on: Yes
177: Been on stage: yea
178: Been so drunk that you know you're supposed to go out on a date with someone, but you can't remember with who or when and that you faint when you look at yourself in the mirror in the morning, not to mention your breath: Yes
179: Slept outdoors: Yes...
180: Thought about suicide: Many of times
181: Pulled an all-nighter: Yes
182: If yes, what is your record: 88 hours
183: Gone one day without food: Yes
184: Talked on the phone all night: A couple of times
185: Slept together with the opposite sex without actually having sex?: Yes
186: Slept all day: yes
187: Killed someone: Not yet
188: Made out with a stranger: No
189: Had sex with a stranger: No
190: Thought you're going crazy: I already have gone crazy
191: Kissed the same sex: yes
192: Done anything sexual with the same sex: Yea
193: Been betrayed: Yes
194: Had a dream that came true: Yes
195: Broken the law: Yes
196: Met a famous person: nope
197: Have you ever killed an animal by accident: Yes
198: Stolen anything: Yes
199: Been on radio/TV: Yes
200: Been in a mosh-pit: yea
201: Had a nervous breakdown: yep
202: Considered religious vocation: No
203: Been criticized about your sexual performance: nope
204: Bungee jumped: Not yet
205: Had a dream that kept coming back: Yes
206: Believe in miracles: Yes
208: Astrology: no
209: Magic: Yes
210: God: yes
211: Satan: yes
212: Santa: no
213: Ghosts: yes I have seen them.
214: Luck: Yes
215: Love at first sight: I believe it
216: Yin and Yang: Yes
217: Witches: Yea
218: Easter bunny: nope.
219: Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever: Yes
220: Believe there's a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow: Of course
221: Do you wish on stars?: Yes...
222: Do you remember your first love?: Yes...
223: Still love him/her: Not anymore
224: Do you consider love a mistake: No.
225: What do you find romantic: Midnight walks on the beach hand in hand
226: Turn-on: guy on guy action
227: Turn-off: dirtyness
228: Do you base your judgment on looks alone: Never...
229: If someone you had no interest in dating expressed interest in dating you, how would you feel: I would feel wierd around them because I wouldn't want to lead them on in any way.
230: Do you prefer knowing someone before dating him or her or going "blind": Yes...
231: Have you ever wished it was more "socially acceptable" for a girl to ask a guy out: Yes...
232: Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractive: Yes
233: Do you think the opposite sex finds you good looking: Yes
234: What is best about the opposite sex: Their eyes
235: What is the worst thing about the opposite sex: Unshaved
236: What's the last present someone gave you: An iPOD
237: Do you consider your significant other hot: Dont have on eat the moment.
238: What would you do if you were walking down the street and saw some hot girl standing on the sidewalk: I would think that she is pretty and keep walking.
239: Favorite weather: Heavy rain
240: Astrological sign: Gemini
241: Chinese sign: dragon











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Things u should NVR say 2 a cop....
 
1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)


2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.


3. Hey!!!! aren't you the guy from the Village People?


4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!


5. Are You Andy or Barney?


6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.


7. Oh GOD!!! you're not gonna check the trunk, are you?


8. What the fuck?! I pay your salary!


9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!


10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.


11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.


12. When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyeslook glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"


13."Officer I wasn't speeding...I was qualifying for NASCAR."

WHAT COMES TO MiND WHEN YOU HEAR...
---------------------------------------------


1. Lotion: SEX
2. Rubber: condom
3. CD: MUSIC
4. Bed: sleep
5. Paper:clip
6. Run: police
7. Candle: hot wax
8. Mouse pad: COMPUTER
9. Sweatshirt: cold
10. Door: can it lock
11. Pictures: of what
12. Flowers: valentines day
13. Deodorant:How does it smell
14. Pencil:write
15. Sex: cant wait
16. Radio: to many commercials
17. mom: the coolest
18. dad: grat
19. siblings: Which one


~TEN COMAMENTS FOR TEENAGERS~


1) thou shall not sneak out when parents
are sleeping. (why wait?)



2)thou shall not do drugz
(alcohol last longer)



3)thou shall not steel from k-mart.
(Wal*Mart has a bigger selection)



4)thou shall not get arrested for
vandalism.
(destruction has a bigger effect)



5)thou shall not steel from thy parents.
(every-1 knows grandma has more money)



6)thou shall not get in fights.
(just start them)



7)thou shall not skip class.
(just take the whole day off)



8)thou shall not strip in class.
(hooters pays more)



9)thou shall not think about having sex.
(as nike says just do it)



10)thou shall not help old ladies cross
the street.
(just leave them in the middle


Think about this... You may not realize it, but it's 100% true.

1. At least 2 people in this world love you so much they would
die for you.

2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.

3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they
want to be just like you.

4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if
they don't like you.

5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.

6. You mean the world to someone.

7. If not for you, someone may not be living.

8. You are special and unique.

9. Someone that you don't even know exists, loves you.

10. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes
from it.

11. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a
look: you most likely turned your back on the world.

12. When you think you have no chance of getting what you
want, you probably won't get it, but if you believe in yourself,
probably,
sooner or later, you will get it.

13. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.

14. Always tell someone how you feel about them; you will
feel much better when they know.

15. If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that
they are great.




my wikis