This is a tribute to the good, smart women. The good girls that finish last, that never end up with the "nice guy", that endure hours of whining and bitching about how manipulative women are, and how men are superior to them, while disproving the very points. This is dedicated to those women who always provide an open door, an open heart, and a warm meal, but are taken advantage of by every man they've dated. Those women who spend countless hours crying over a man who mistreated them, simply because the loneliness is killing them. Those women who have dated "nice guys" who are always "just friends" and been dumped by him because things just "weren't right", or she was forced to leave him after the constant tirades of how women have mistreated him in the past, and then be verbally attacked for being a "backstabbing bitch". This is in honour of the women that are beaten down, torn apart, and lied to each day - and yet each morning they rise to face another battle. This is for the women who, despite compliments on their appearance, feel inferior due to many men's addiction to the media (yes, men are just addicted to the media as women are, stop claiming that we use magazines as our Bible when you use the TV as your altar). This is in honour of the women with open minds, kind hearts, loving attitudes, and sincerity. This is in honour of the women who respect a man's every facet, from his best friend to his mind set to his personal tastes, despite any quirks she may have.

   This is for the women who pull their drunk, horny male friends away from golddiggers and potentially diseased whores at parties, only to be yelled at for ruining their fun. This is for the women who sit patiently by their drunken male friends who're bent over her toilet at 4 AM, with a cold compress to apply to their neck and forehead when they're able to raise their heads. For the women who go to work late the next day just to make sure that their hungover friend is going to be alright, and to make sure he gets home safely. This is for the women who accompany men to bars as moral support and date-bait, for the women who are hit on by the creepiest men in the bar but stay because their male friend hasn't found a girl to talk to yet. For the women who know that even "nice guys" don't play by the rules all the time, despite their continuing claim that they do, but forgive them anyway and love them more for their imperfection. For the women who are accredited as WIFE material, but somehow end up alone each time. For all the good women who are overlooked, underestimated, unappreciated, and mistreated. For all the good women who are manipulated, misled, lied to, and unjustly abandoned...this is for you.

   This is for the time you had a car wreck, but he didn't pick up the phone because it was after ten and he was watching TV. This is for the time he left you in the supermarket to talk to some blonde super-model from his old school that he failed to introduce you to until you did it yourself. This is for the time he interrupted the best spa bath you'd had time for in ages to rant about his ex-girlfriend who just "showed up" at work today, who flirted shamelessly with him and used suggestive lines to lead him on...only to sleep with him once and run off. And even though you thought he should've known better, and should've had more dignity than to lower himself to a one-night stand, you turned off your music, got out of the bath, got dressed and went to pick him up for a few beers and a rant about how women were cold-hearted and cruel, and even contributed to the conversation...despite the hurt it instilled. This is for the time he didn't have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing "serious" between the two of you, he dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and he flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each romantic interlude by announcing to everyone: "oh, we're just friends." And even though you were invited purely as arm-candy, a trophy woman just there to "look good", you went anyway, because you're nice like that. (Yes...guess what "nice guys"...MEN DO IT TOO).

   This is for the women who NEVER get credit where credit is due. The only conclusion I can form is that many men are illogical, ignorant, lying, abusive assholes. (If we're going to get nasty). Many of them claim they just want to find a nice woman to love them as they are, but when presented with such a specimen they say irrational, stupid things such as "it'll never work out, I never get the girl", or "she'd never want someone like me (despite the fact that she throws herself at him)", or the most frustrating of all: "she's not ready for the kind of relationship I'm looking for", and the utmost of disgusting mental-refusals: "her breasts are too (small/big), her ass is too (fat/thin), she isn't curvy enough, she isn't this, she's too much of that, all in all she's just not the 'right kind of beautiful'". Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable women in the world, and they expect they're too-nice-to-date female friends to sympathize and apologize for the women who are sluts or bitches. Sorry girls, men like that are too stupid to understand that they're not the only one's who get the short end of the stick. I can't figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a good, kind woman) and what they do (oh! Pretty girl! Hump leg now!). But one thing I can do, is hope that the "nice-guy-finishes-last" ridiculousness doesn't last forever. That the boys will eventually grow out of that "woe-is-me" and/or "I'm an asshole, no woman can deal with it, that's how I want it" mentality and realize they should be men...not little boys or primates...men, and instead of lying to and about women; taking advantage of their good, open hearts; and insulting them with every other breath they should be truly respecting them, not taking them for granted.

   So, until these men are found, I propose a toast to all the good women. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing this crap about how nice guys are mistreated by females in general. The truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience, your kind-hearts, your warm hugs and warmer smiles. For all the stupid, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you.

   A Note to All Men: you have to realize that most women that date assholes, don't realize it until it's much later in the relationship, and they often feel there's no way out. And guys, if your female friends are flirting with you and you truly don't like it, tell them to stop, imbecile! They do it because you let them, they want to feel wanted, they want to feel desirable...pretty much by most men. It's an ego-trip. If you don't like it, let it be known, but chances are that you do like it, it just pisses you off that they don't go through with anything. Another thing - if a female friend isn't interested, drop it. Stop whining about not getting the girl. There are tons of us out there, just because your female friends don't want to date you doesn't mean the rest of the female population won't. Dating takes time and dedication, if you're not willing to wait for your perfect woman, then you need to stop right now. You'll only frustrate yourself (and probably me). And don't come bitching to me about nice guys. I know there are "nice guys" in the world, REAL nice guys (I call them good men), in fact I have my own. Yes...that's right, a nice guy that DIDN'T finish last...wow, what a concept! I respect men who truly are nice, who truly have been dealt hard blows in the love department and have risen to the occasion...but honestly...stop this stupidity. Women have a hard time too, and it's not because we're these evil, manipulative, bitches you've all made us out to be (which, to be perfectly honest, totally ruins your nice guy status), it's because there are just as many assholic men as there are bitchy women. Having been abused all my life, I know this from personal experience, so stop blaming women for all your problems (I don't blame men and most likely I've had just as much if not more trouble with men as you 'nice guys' have had with women, just different troubles). Grow up, and maybe you'll find out that there are women for you too.