Chapter Two: Rough on Relations

9:00 P.M. Friday- Case 7 days cold

Kevin Ryan had his hands full of a box, bags of food, and his regular side bag which he kept slung over his chest. With all of that piled together, it was easy to see how he had such a hard time getting the door open. Balancing the box on his forearm and leaning the half into the wall he pulled one arm free of the mess and dug into his back pocket for his keys. Pulling out a tangle of metal he stuffed his apartment key into the lock and twisted, then pulled, and twisted again but the lock wasn’t budging. A box started to tumble one way and he dropped the keys to grab the thing to keep it in place.

Suddenly the door opened of its own accord and Kevin looked inward. The hallway was dark as the only light that looked to be on was the kitchen light just around the corner. The face of his girlfriend appeared from beside the door and the scowl she wore told him everything. “I picked up dinner for us from your favorite Thai place,” Kevin said with a soft upwards-twist of his lips.

Jenny rolled her eyes and headed back inside, not bothering to help him with anything piled in his hands. Taking a deep breath, Kevin shifted the things in his hands and started after his girlfriend he kicked the keys he dropped. Heaving a sigh and rolling his eyes upwards he decided it would be better to set his things down first. He knew how this would go over but there wasn’t anywhere else to really set his things down. Placing the box, files and bags on the kitchen table he turned on his heel to get the keys from the hallway hoping that she would stave off of her yelling for a few more moments. He shut the door behind himself and pocketed the keys.

As he came back into the house he tried to focus on everything around him, the scent of the vanilla candle burning on the counter where Jenny had a sketch of something for work, the smell of the spicy Thai food on the table with his things, the hum of the dryer in the other room. Jenny’s voice drew the most attention, dragging him in with its harsh blasts. “Kevin! Are we seriously doing this after what we talked about? I thought we’d come to an agreement. You cannot do this to me, Kevin. Not after everything that’s happened.”

Kevin looked over at her standing at the end of the kitchen table, holding up a crime photo. His sister laid on the ground, candy-red strands of blood droplets dribbled down her cheeks from her pink painted lips. Her blonde hair fell out around her like a Japanese fan, petals from a rose were laid carefully over her body and hair like the Sakura blossom décor painted against the golden locks. He stared into the open eyes, more green than blue but as striking as his own. Ripping his eyes from the bloody image he looked up into Jenny’s dull gray eyes. “Can’t do this to you? Jenny, she’s my sister. She’s a young, beautiful, intelligent girl. I can’t let him get away with this.”

“Was,” Jenny said tossing the photo on the table top.

“What?” Kevin furrowed his eyebrows and the keys slipped from his finger, clashing on the counter. He gripped the edge of the kitchen counter as he watched Jenny. “What are you trying to say?

Jenny heaved a sigh and rushed a hand through her hair. “Was Kevin. She’s been dead over a year now. You need to talk about the incident in the past tense like Katherine said.” The woman was slowly moving past the table and towards Kevin. Her socked feet were silent across the floor.

Staring back at Jenny’s dull eyes, Kevin tried to keep his breaking voice easy. “I don’t really care what some shrink psychobabbled at you. I’m dealing with this.”
“Are you?” Jenny interjected before he could continue the thought. “Look at you Kevin! You used to shave every day, your suits are no longer being ironed, you look exhausted and you have crime scene photos spilled across my kitchen table. I don’t call that “dealing with” anything.”

Kevin felt his hands shaking with anger the closer she drew herself up to him. “I’m. Dealing. With it.” He pushed off of the counter and rushed past her to gather up the box and files in his bag. “I’ll take it to the living room.”

“No, Kevin. The girls are coming over tomorrow and I’m not having death sitting in my living room.” Jenny had turned around and was reaching out for the box he’d grabbed. “Give it to me. It’s going in the hall closet and you’re going to take it all back tomorrow and drop this.” Her eyes were narrowed, fierce, a lioness ready to leap.

Despite seeing how set Jenny was in her thoughts, Kevin couldn’t let this go. It was his sister’s murder… Did Jenny keep saying “my” this or that? She was implying something, he was sure of it, but wouldn’t touch it yet. “No, I’m not bringing it back. Jenny, I can’t.”

“You swore, after our last fight, you swore you would leave work there.” Jenny’s hands were sitting on either side of the box. “Let this go.”

Kevin tore the box away from Jenny and cradled it to his chest. “This isn’t work. Karli was my sister damn it. This is personal, not work.” He took a few steps backwards, tightening his grip on the box and twisting his face in anger. Turning away from her, Kevin figured he’d set things on the top of his bureau where it would be reachable but out of the way. She had to be all right with that. It was there, but not. He knew Jenny would be upset about this because of their last fight but he hadn’t expected her to be this crazy over his personal grief. He never thought she’d tell him to get rid of Karli’s things.

“Kevin. Turn around.” Jenny’s voice was soft but he heard it. He paused, holding his breath and hoping she wouldn’t say what he knew was going to leave her mouth. “Do not bring that into my room.”

“Your?” Kevin whispered. He did turn around, slowly with his body following his shadowy gaze. Ice blue eyes had never seemed so dark and full of such fire. “Your?” his voice was louder, like the strike of a bass drum. “When did this stop being my home, too?” He leveled his eyes on Jenny, gritting his teeth and clenching the box until his knuckles were bone white. There was no way he’d seen this coming.

“Three months ago when you refused to get help.” She answered so quickly. “Instead you immersed yourself hopelessly in this cold case. Even Montgomery is calling it a cold case now.” Jenny was quieter than before but her voice was even and strong. “This is my home, Kevin. You’re here because I loved you but if you don’t stop and go to Katherine like I asked, I don’t know if I can keep this up. You’re not the person I loved.” Jenny sniffed, a few tears dripping down her skin.

Kevin stood staring at her with wide eyes and a rapidly thumping heart. “I can’t. Jenny I can’t let this go. Not yet. My little sister-”
“Get out, Kevin.” Jenny turned away from Kevin and wrapped her arms around herself. He should have felt something stronger than shock. He should be upset at those words. “I’m sorry but this is destroying me, too. It’s destroyed us.” She was right. The woman heaved a breathy sob that wracked her body in small waves.

Kevin set the box down and moved to stand behind her. She needed some sort of comfort and he couldn’t be kicked out. They were in love…once. They were together. This was their place, even if it was just in her name. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly. “I need you, baby. Don’t do this to me.”

Jenny shook him off in wild thrashing movements and skittered further into the kitchen, back hitting the fridge where she stood still. “I could be anyone, Kevin. You love the idea of me but not me. You don’t need me, I’m just another body.” She wiped a shaky hand across her nose. “Who are we kidding? It never got past giddy school-days love. For either of us.” She shook her head, sucking in a shaky breath and laughing slightly. “For all you care, it could be Esposito in your bed.”

Kevin’s head was spinning as he listened to her saying all of this. A flush was pouring over his cheeks. “You’re wrong, baby. I love you.”

“Shut up Kevin and just get out! I can’t do this anymore. We’ve been fighting for months now and I’m tired of it. Get out!” Jenny was moving forwards and she grabbed the bag of food, shoving into his hands. She pushed him back, down the hall, yelling nearly incoherently at this point. Allowing her to force him back, Kevin stared wide eyed. He wasn’t sure why he wasn’t fighting back; the jumbled mess of thoughts in his head were tripping over each other. Kevin stumbled under her force and finally out of the door.

He fell back against the wall outside of the apartment. He stared at the numbers on the back of the closed door. Lost. “What do I…how…where-” The door swung open interrupting his muttering. Jenny practically threw his side bag at him and he dogged to the side hearing the bag hit the wall next to him. The door shut again and he listened to her footsteps. She was grabbing something from the dining room table. When the door opened a second time he saw the box of his sisters murder come flying at him, tilting to the side. Kevin dropped the food to catch the objects flying at him. Thai food went everywhere and the murder case spilled some of its brutal contents next to it.

“I’ll get your things.” Jenny shut the door and locked it leaving Kevin scrambling in the hallway to pick everything up off of the ground. His hands quickly found the pieces from the murder case, the marked evidence, the police reports…Thai food be damned. It was her favorite anyway, not his.

He was breathing quickly, not able to get enough air and his mind was racing. He’d let his place get rented out since he moved in with Jenny. He had a storage unit with some things like furniture and seasonal clothes in it, but he was sure it was illegal to squat there. He would be sent to a psych if he stayed the night in the precinct building. He didn’t have anywhere to go. Other than his car.

The door opened up just enough for a duffle bag to be chucked out and narrowly miss his stomach. It was followed by something he caught and that was lucky. Looking down in his hands was the picture of him and his sister. “Goodbye Kevin,” Jenny’s voice slipped through the crack in the door and disappeared with its snap shut.

11:00 P.M. Friday

Kevin sat in his car, the back seat holding a box, duffle bag, shoulder bag of work material, and a stack of books. That was his life, neatly placed in his vehicle. In a world of materialism he had to admit- this sucked. Easing back in his seat as he sat parked on the side of the street, Kevin looked around at the neighborhood he ended up in. It was block with small diners, a noisy bar and tall apartment buildings. It was where Javier lived. He was, in fact, parked right outside of Javier’s brownstone flat. He’d been sitting here about twenty minutes now trying to get himself to go inside and ask Javier if he could stay with him long enough to rent another place himself. Kevin just had to figure out how to ask. “Hey, I got kicked out because I’m not okay, I’m slightly obsessed, probably should be put on meds and don’t love my girlfriend, not really. Can I stay?” Kevin scoffed and looked at himself in his rearview mirror. “Yeah, that’ll get you far.” Rubbing his brow with his hand he sighed and looked back at the apartment.

The one he knew as Javier’s still had lights on and he could see some movement. “Just do it already,” he muttered to himself. Yanking the key from the ignition he climbed out of the car and jogged over, up the stairs and banged on the door before he could talk himself back into the car and over to the precinct. He heard footsteps coming to the door and heard a lock being flipped. It was small metallic click but it sank deep into his chest.

“Kev?” Javier asked, standing in the doorway gripping the door handle. His eyes flickered to the car and briefly took in the things piled in the back seat. “Did you, I mean did she-”

Kevin looked down at his feet, tucked his hands in his pockets then turned his eyes upwards to glance nervously at Javier. “Yeah, she kicked me out. I had nowhere else to go.”

Javier was already stepping aside before Kevin even finished his sentence. He reached out and grabbed his partner’s upper arm. “Get inside, Ryan. We’ll get your stuff after you help me down the rest of the pizza I have, dude.”

Walking in and stepping off to the side so that Esposito could shut the door, Kevin smiled and laughed lightly. He felt more at ease already. He followed Javier into the expanse apartment complex, kicking off his shoes in the foyer and hanging his jacket on the coat rack by the door. Once further inside of the apartment it was very male. The living room came up first and it had a deep brown leather couch, a coffee table with a chip in the corner holding a very funny story behind it, and a large screen T.V. with Madden paused on the screen. Over the island counter of the kitchen, Kevin could see a pizza box open and some dishes stacked in the sink. It was clean though, Javier was definitely a clean person. In fact, he once stole Kevin’s controller during a round of Halo when the man discovered his partner still had his shoes on. Kevin let himself smile again at the memories then looked over at Javier. “Tell me it’s pepperoni.”

Javier looked at him with slightly flared nostrils and a raised eyebrow. “Man, I’m almost offended.” He pushed Kevin towards the kitchen and headed for the fridge. Pulling out two beers he offered one to his best friend who was grabbing a slice of the pepperoni pizza. “How long you think you’re out for?” he asked groping in a drawer for a bottle opener, mostly to keep his eyes off of Kevin and let him talk without feeling pressured.

Finding the bottles were twist offs, Kevin popped the top of his while Javier took his time digging. “Uh,” Kevin took a swig of his beer and leaned back against the countertop. “Pretty permanent. I’m thinking we’re done, Javi.” He shrugged and shifted his feet, leaving the countertop.

“Come on,” Javier said leading his partner to the living room and over to the couch. They both took a seat, Kevin sinking into the couch and leaning up against the arm, one leg curled under him and the other stretched out to rest nearly on Javier’s legs.

“She said neither of us loved each other past that puppy love stage,” Kevin said taking another deep pull from his bottle. “I think she’s right, about most of it.” His lips twisted in a dismaying sort of way and his eyes fell to his lap where a slice of pizza sat half eaten. He thought of the things sitting out in his car. He did not want to move from where they were crashed at the moment. He nearly jumped when the feel of a warm hand landed on his thigh. He looked over at Javier and saw the man giving him an easy smile that made little laugh lines play at the corners of Javi’s lips. 

“We’ll get through this, don’t worry.” Javier leaned back further against the couch, sinking into its depths and keeping his eyes on Kevin. “A few more beers, a little more pizza, and some of those crappy movies you make me watch and you’ll be feeling better man. I’m sure of it.” Javier took a swig of his own beer. Lowering the bottle enough to look over it he threw Ryan a raking tease of lifted eyebrows and the crack of a jackknifed grin.

Kevin let his face fall into feigned displeasure, lines creasing across his forehead. “My movies aren’t crap. There’s more thought to them then something like Speed.” The Irish cop was feeling more at ease already, especially with Esposito talking about a ‘we’ and not just ‘you’. Knowing that someone was there, at the very least cheering him on from the sidelines. Of course, after all he’s been through with Javier, he knew the man was not a sidelines type of man. He was the “till the wheels fall off” kinda guy. And then some. Kevin knew he was lucky to have Javier as his partner and tonight was only proving that even more.

“Yo, Speed is a good flick, Kevin Ryan, and you know it. Do not make me get a new partner.” Javier sat up as suddenly as his words flew from his mouth. He set the now empty beer bottle down and playfully glared at his best friend.
With a roll of the eyes, Kevin put his own bottle down and sat up to glare back. The clink of the bottle on wood echoed in his ears, filling the silence of their tense looks. “Tell the truth, it’s totally because you have a thing for Keanu Reeves.”

“Pssh, you don’t know me dude. I’m all for blue eyes, not brown.” Javier stared into eyes of blue rivaling the clear sky on a summer day. He realized the implication he’d just made only after the words had spewed from his mouth. He cut his words off tight, shutting off even his breathing as he waited for Kevin to fix this situation Javier had just thrown them in.
Kevin sat staring, mouth open acutely as he let the words sink into his brain. The process of making sense of them took a moment and then the left side of his mouth twitched in some nervous half-grin. Leaning forward, closing the bulk of distance between him and his partner, Kevin let his lips dance across Javier’s in a tender waltz. Javier’s lips moved with the dip softly before they pulled back.

Both men sat in the awkward limbo of intermingling breath and darting close stares for long moments before Javier coughed and pulled further back. “Kevin-”

“I’m sorry,” Kevin interrupted quickly. “It’s been a long and confusing night. Let’s just pretend this didn’t happen, yeah?”
Javier chewed his bottom lip and nodded. “Yeah, good deal.” Still they sat, silent and in racing and probably racy thoughts. It took a minute before Javier could find more words to break the tension. “We should get the stuff from your car and get settled in. Montgomery’ll wring our necks if we’re late in the morning.”

Kevin gave a short scoffing laugh and pushed up from the couch. “Yeah, re-election always puts him in a mood.”

The few things from Kevin’s car were gathered fairly quickly and he soon found himself in Javier’s guest room. Lying in the bed, thoughts rocketed around his brain to the point that he was beginning to believe those thoughts could shoot their way out of his skull. The dull, throbbing ache that replaced his thoughts thankfully helped to lull him into a slumber deep enough that he didn’t remember his random dreams the next morning. 

Chapter Three: Settling Soul and Relapses
RRW: On the Time of Day
Raine's Random Writing
Raine's Random FanFiction