Neurotic Obsession's Poetry

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2009-08-01 22:59:31

Last author: Neurotic Obsession
Owner: Neurotic Obsession

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This is a very long page with just the tip of my poems. They're there for anyone to use on their pages (as long as you say who wrote them). Feel free to copy/paste any of them if one really speaks to you.

-[Neurotic Obsession]

<img:http://www.elfpack.com/img/image/54238_1249167161.jpg>

<img:http://www.elfpack.com/img/image/54238_1249167161.jpg>

Uremic...
Bathed in my dreaded wastes,
The tank piles up, reaches brim;
Overflows way above my waist.
Drowns me in my uncontrollable failures --
Chokes my senses, my breath, my taste.

A smokers plea...
Breathed and basked a world my own...
The wind’s revenge makes me heave forlorn,
A gasp, a shriek, a tiny call, for ---
A tube, a lift, for my chest is best ---
My color blue, what an ugly rest!

Liver-ation...
I love thee liver, my Lover,
My booze you handle with
much care;
Tis' yellow, pale, thy
confused dreamer
Shriveled up --
pleasures vanished
in mid-air!

A failing heart...
I thought my will, desire, resides in you
Oh powerful flesh you failed me, too.
<img:http://www.elfpack.com/img/image/54238_1249167161.jpg>

Rain

I am from the sky
But I fall to the earth Making the sound of little droplets
Hitting your windowsill.

Excited, the children come out jumping in the puddles of their delight and riding their bikes through.

The single, working mother walks outside and says,
"At least I no longer have to wash the car."

The widow gazes out her window wondering why her love was drowned.
<img:http://www.elfpack.com/img/image/54238_1249167161.jpg>

Staggering

I long for the day I will stand in your presence
For it’s such a staggering thing
I long for the day I will be held in your arms
For it’s such a wondrous feeling

But I know that day is an eternity away
I lay here cold, sweaty and alone
With memories of a time when I was once happy
As I drown myself in my thoughts

To be with you was to know true peace
And I miss that beyond belief
Your words and actions were so comforting
You made me believe in love

I know that now is not the right time for us
But I won’t sit here and wait
I’ll experience things and live my life
And wait until that day comes

I’ll be ready for you, ready as I’ve ever been
For I’ve felt pain and happiness
And when this day comes, I’m sure I’ll know it
Because no one touches me like you do

My heart has been fucked inside out
And you’re the only one
That can reverse it back again
It’s you and only you

Your spirit is one of such captivation
I long to intertwine myself in it
I long to see and feel your presence again
To feel how staggering you are
<img:http://www.elfpack.com/img/image/54238_1249167161.jpg>

Rainfall

I ask the stars to hide their fires
Let not light see the velvet pain
Inside my soul as it perspires
As I stagger through the pouring rain
Of slighted hopes and ivory desires.

The silver clouds from up above
Remind me of all that I have to give
The sapphire tears filled with my love
Show me the reason I have to live.

To find that one who should gain
My most intimate feelings from deep inside.
My anger, sadness, bliss, and pain,
Someone in whom I can confide.

From early sunrise to golden sunset
Endlessly searching for one.
I walk on with the rain pouring down on my head,
As if threads of my life had unspun.

Now, as I wander around inside this storm,
Peering through the crystalline raindrops
I look to see you, an angelic form,
and notice the rain as it stops.
<img:http://www.elfpack.com/img/image/54238_1249167161.jpg>

My Winter

Winter is a mysterious season
A stranger and a friend; you see
Her temperament is cold
Her spirit is always free
No one can control her
She is cruel and shows no mercy.
Her eyes, the night sky, black and cold
None dare call her ugly.
Winter is mean and unforgiving
A sinister demon who has been released
Her voice is cold and harsh when heard
In the dead of night, her fury can be unleashed.
Yet winter is alone and sad
With no one to show her they care.
No one sees winter as I have
With eyes and lovely hair.
Winter is gentle and kind,
She dances to music that is her own
She pleads to her lover to free her
To take her back and give her a home
My winter has eyes that sparkle with stars
A movement so graceful and rare
A darkness so mysterious and lovely
I look with a mesmerized stare.
Her body the flakes of snow that fall,
Caress me with passion and love
We are intertwined in a bond that won’t be broken
Not even by the Gods above.
<img:http://www.elfpack.com/img/image/54238_1249167161.jpg>

Goodbye Little Boy

So she left, like you
Leaving me alone
Bleeding and broken
On the cold apartment floor.
Left to rot, and corrupt the lives around him.
The living who stand on the edge
Of his darkness are contaminated.
Poor dead abandoned boy
No mother or father to dig his grave
Left to rot and decay into nothingness
In a place where no one will look.
Upon unholy ground
No stone to mark his end.
No "born on..." "died on..."
Truly no one knows when he died
Even when he was living
He was pale
He was lifeless
A little boy robbed of his light.
Left in the back alleys
Inside a dirty dumpster
Left to fend for himself
And to fight the rats for food
Left to grow up in darkness, alone,
and without love.
<img:http://www.elfpack.com/img/image/54238_1249167161.jpg>

Kissing your neck gently,
Between these bed sheets we dance.
Nurturing the child within us,
Passion expressing our romance.

When I talk to you it's from the heart,
Listen to what I say,
When I declare my feeling to you,
You simply blow me away.

You know I'd do anything for you,,
Stopping your tears, we'll laugh and dance.
My million dollar maiden,
All those nights we shared romance.

Just take everything slow,
While do the love dance.
Just let it all flow,
While we express our romance.

I know that I love you so,
Believe when I say you're my girl.
I chuckle at the fact tonight,
Because I can feel your toes curl.

Was it just me or was it all in my head?
Now you deny how we used to dance.
It breaks my heart to listen to your lies,
To think you were once the object of my romance.
<img:http://www.elfpack.com/img/image/54238_1249167161.jpg>

Dead Inside

Days they passed on
Nothing changed but the same death inside
I find me between the suicide and hatred again
Old bruises and new wounds...
Worse than I imagined
I guess I'm not happy
Even though I try
Or I wanna be
How should I survive?
Or how must I lay to die?
Dig my grave deep enough to escape
Bury myself under the earth of death and pain
Forget my hope and salvation
They must have lost their ways
No pill for me to ease this memory
Stained in my heart of wicked past
My loved one has gone...
What else should I feel now?
Lost within the tortured life
Darkness seems to be overtaking my actions
I sense my movements without motions
I must have been dead...
Or should I?
I'm just dead inside...
beneath the hatred.
<img:http://www.elfpack.com/img/image/54238_1249167161.jpg>

Your not worth the tears

Your not worth the tears
that pour from my heart
my skin
my soul
my eyes
you said you loved me
but all you ever did was lie
you grabbed my heart and ripped it out
left nothing behind
left nothing inside
this soul of mine
bruised and hurt
i have a bandage round my heart
Your not worth the tears
that pour from my heart
my skin
my soul
my eyes
you left me standing there
on the edge
ready
ready to push me down below the ground
i hate you
how you made me give you
everything i am
then took it and never gave it back
Your not worth the tears
that pour from my heart
my skin
my soul
my eyes
you made me love you
did you ever love me back
or did you just want to stamp
over everything i am
push me down
below the ground
rip me to pieces
and leave nothing back
but a broken heart
and shallow eyes
that lots the light that made them glow
that lost the thing that made it beat
Your not worth the tears
that pour from my heart
my skin
my soul
my eyes
<img:http://www.elfpack.com/img/image/54238_1249167161.jpg>

Angel Teardrops

My guardian angel, once careless and free,
flew into the clouds and lost touch with me.
Her tears were cold and wet, falling on my face.
Her smile had left us without a trace.

Her angelic lips quivered, frozen and scared,
I felt rain clouds visiting, and had to prepare.
I knew that angels, often content,
were very special presents that God had sent.

To see one so sad,
so afraid,
so alone,
had made me weep while the cold winds had blown.

Her wings lost feathers,
comforting and soft,
falling from the stars,
floating aloft.

Her pain was felt throughout the land,
to feel true misery is impossible to stand.
I prayed so that when her hurting stops,
I'll be able to taste the angel's teardrops
<img:http://www.elfpack.com/img/image/54238_1249167161.jpg>

Cross my heart, hope to die,
Stick a needle in my eye,
Drown in tears, take this blade
Make a mark, the thing I crave
This is how I feel tonight,
I hug my knees and cry all night.
So see me with this razor blade
And see that I could not be saved.
<img:http://www.elfpack.com/img/image/54238_1249167161.jpg>

Something Must Be

Something must be wrong with me
with all this hurt inside,
always bursting with anger,
and never any pride.

Something must be wrong with me
if all I do is cry,
I can't stop this pain
all I want to do is die.

Something must be wrong with me
if my emotions run wild,
all this confusion does
is make me feel like a lost child.

Something must be wrong with me
with all these terrible things,
always there and never gone
depression is what it brings.

Something must be wrong with me
if I can't stop these thoughts,
all this pain does
is turn my stomach in knots.

Something is truly wrong with me
when I think there's only one way out,
"Let this pain end,"
is all my heart will shout.
<img:http://www.elfpack.com/img/image/54238_1249167161.jpg>

Understand

When you have tried and done your best, but failed,
I understand.
If with cruel fears and doubts you are assailed,
I understand.
When for long years you make Me sad,
And you cannot o'ercome the bad,
if struggling nearly drives you mad,
I understand.

When problems are ingrained into your soul,
I understand.
If you fail miserably to reach your goal,
I understand.
When all the gold becomes impure,
And darkness often seems at the door,
Remember - I love you the more,
I understand.

When dark clouds billow over your true soul,
I understand.
If you think nothing e'er will make you whole,
I understand.
There is nothing that you can do
That Me to you will make untrue,
For I passed through all hell for you,
I understand.

For soon the night-time will become the day,
I understand.
In new heaven and earth I will hold sway,
I understand.
Your goodness then will perfect be,
When your love's stream joins with My Sea.
Live now, as then, trust all to Me,
I understand.
<img:http://www.elfpack.com/img/image/54238_1249167161.jpg>

Self-portrait

Anger driven emotions,
hidden by my insanity.
Deep thoughts and insights,
blocked by the confusion.
Timid, shy, careless masked
by boisterous claims and paranoia.
Love for a woman,
repressed by the hate of myself.
Young, innocent, naive,
forced to grow up too quickly.
Kept in chains until
my mind is released by drugs.
Wrapped in guilt and sorrow,
but forced to act happy for my brother.
My mouth spews forth insults,
all really meant for me.
Weakness, vulnerability, and intimacy,
killed by pain.
Self-esteem lowered by
manic-depression and trapped by
my very being,
my words here written, my dreams,
my thoughts, my feelings,
my insanity, my pain, SET ME FREE!
<img:http://www.elfpack.com/img/image/54238_1249167161.jpg>

A Suicide's Lament

Silence is the enemy,
and at once, my greatest friend.
But when is all this silence,
and my fear to end?

My struggles have been long and hard,
at times, a frantic flight
From the dangers in the darkness,
seeking light.

How does it remain so hard
to reach the point of knowing?
How can this stagnation end,
and my soul rekindle growing?

I know that I am weary, for I feel my loss of light.
That lets the shadows strengthen in my ever ebon night.
The power of my soul to climb above such mortal care
Is fading, taking with it the life within my air.

So, I breathe deep, with passion, savoring the power
That does remain, while I await Death's appointed hour.
Now comes the dagger, sharp and sleek, quickly from the mist,
And I, from sheer frustration, raise an angry fist.

As onward flies the dagger, toward my heart of stone,
I know my final words will fall in silence, all alone.
And I feel peace, and freedom, as the blade doth come to rest.
Without pain, I shudder, as I spend my final breath.

Too late, I see
that God has dwelt inside of me,
And I, in sin,
launched the blade that now rests in
My heart.
<img:http://www.elfpack.com/img/image/54238_1249167161.jpg>

Silent Tears

The pain is deep,
No blood,
No tears,
Where it hurts is deep inside,

Silent tears stream down my face,
With each tear the pain only grows deeper,
Down, down, down,
They just keep falling down,

My future is cloudy,
My past so happy,
At this fork in the road,
I don't know what direction to take,

Silent tears stream down my face,
I squeeze my eyes shut tight,
Hoping they will go away,
But it only makes more spill out,

I hope to fall asleep,
Then morning comes,
They're still there,
Accompanied by the pain,

Silent tears stream down my face,
I reluctantly go on with life,
But not a soul ever notices,
For my tears are so silent.
<img:http://www.elfpack.com/img/image/54238_1249167161.jpg>

Though I chose death instead of pointless pain

Though I chose death instead of pointless pain,
Please forgive the manner of my leaving.
My love and need for all of you remain.

I could not long such suffering sustain,
Nor would it long have held you from your grieving.
Though I chose death instead of pointless pain,

I hope that choice will not my memory stain,
Nor lead you to be wroth at my deceiving.
My love and need for all of you remain.

For only in you do I live again,
Woven like a wind into your weaving.
Though I chose death instead of pointless pain,

I put to you the plea of the self-slain:
To comprehend an anguish past conceiving.
My love and need for all of you remain

That all that I have been not be in vain,
But blend into the earth of your believing.
Though I chose death instead of pointless pain,
My love and need for all of you remain.
<img:http://www.elfpack.com/img/image/54238_1249167161.jpg>

Blind

If only you could see
Just what it's like to be me.
Just one day in my life
That's all it would take.
Am I asking too much?
To want people to accept me
For who and what I am?
To want people to think
Before they speak?
Is it really too much to ask
For people to open their hearts
Before they open their mouths?
Are people really so blind?
Can't they see the pain they cause?
Can they not see?
How much they hurt others?
Are they all blind?
<img:http://www.elfpack.com/img/image/54238_1249167161.jpg>

Mainstream Life

Life is nothing
It's just a game
One by one we fall
Like flies in cold weather
Life is an endless drown
With blurry faces flying by
Meaningless words spoken;
In the mainstream
I am an outcast by society
Alone I walk slowly
As time ticks by
Life has fake people, posers, and freaks
But what do they really mean?
For they are all put out by the mainstream.
<img:http://www.elfpack.com/img/image/54238_1249167161.jpg>

Untitled

What is life
But a game
Many winners,
Many losers,
Some are in between
Winning and losing
Others don't know if they
Want to win or lose
Only they can decide
For it is their choice;
I want to be a winner
But it seems impossible for
Someone like me because
The mainstream has labeled me
A loser.
<img:http://www.elfpack.com/img/image/54238_1249167161.jpg>

Goodbye World

Late at night
I hear the screaming
People are rushing about
Calling out to me
I feel so cold and I can see
My breath in the air
And then I see myself
Lying as stiff as a board
I am not breathing
But yet I can hear
You burst into my room
And you start to cry.
But I am laughing
Goodbye heartless, cruel world.
It's your fault yet again
Like it has been a
Million times before but
I am now free of
Your hard grasping claws
And the people who tried
To stop me
Goodbye world and to all
I'm sure you won't miss me.
<img:http://www.elfpack.com/img/image/54238_1249167161.jpg>

Me vs. Normal?

I'm different.
I'm an individual.
People fear me...
I'm not "normal"

What is "normal"?
What is "right"?
Why would I want to be...
Just like everyone else??

People say stuff.
People talk.
I'm not everything they say I am...
I'm not all bad.

I'm just different.
I'm not like you.
I still get hurt though,
And I cry just like you do.

I have to be me!
I can't be like you!
Stop trying to change me...
You're wasting your breath.

I won't change.
I'll still be different.
That's what keeps me going...
Keeps me alive.
<img:http://www.elfpack.com/img/image/54238_1249167161.jpg>

Thank-You

Thank you for...
Looking on the inside,
Being there,
Loving me for who I am.

You opened my eyes
To what life can be,
If you just be yourself.

You showed me that,
I can love another person
If I let them love me.

Thank-you for,
Being there when I needed you
And thank-you for,
Loving me.
<img:http://www.elfpack.com/img/image/54238_1249167161.jpg>

True Love

True love, what is it?
Is there real love?
Truth is a word
Without real meaning.
Love is a murdering beast.
True love?
The words together feel like fire
Burning my tongue as I speak them.
Does true love exist?
I highly doubt it.
<img:http://www.elfpack.com/img/image/54238_1249167161.jpg>

In Your Arms

In your arms
I feel safe
And warm

Like nothing
Can hurt me
As long as I stay
In your arms

Then there is that
Hateful time when
We have to leave

I wish I could stay
In your arms
Forever;
I finally know where I belong.
<img:http://www.elfpack.com/img/image/54238_1249167161.jpg>

Here's to Blindness

Here's to you
And here's to me.
Here's to the inability to see.
To see the pain
To see the death
To see a persons
Cease of breath.
Love of life,
Love of fun
Love of your hate
Causing blood to run.
So here's to you
And here's to me
I hope you're happy
For now you can see.
<img:http://www.elfpack.com/img/image/54238_1249167161.jpg>

My Love

I sit here
A knife in one hand
Your picture in the other
You left me here alone
How could you?

I thought you loved me.
I loved you too...
That is why I am going to do this

I want to feel the pain you felt
Before you turned
The knife upon yourself.

This shall be the last time
I am no longer afraid
I long to be with you
And that's what I shall do

Goodbye world
Goodbye loved ones
Here I come my love
Nothing will rip us
Apart again.
<img:http://www.elfpack.com/img/image/54238_1249167161.jpg>

Sweet Death

What started with a slit,
Is now a trickle of blood.
What once was held back,
Is now flowing freely.
What had been beating,
Is now stopped.
What was once alive,
Is dead now.
He lies on the floor
In a warm puddle of blood.
His pain, his pulse,
Has stopped.
The suffering, which was once his
Now haunts her soul.
Casting a shadow over her.
It's gone with the wind
His life is drained
He's free of her
Alas, Sweet Death.
<img:http://www.elfpack.com/img/image/54238_1249167161.jpg>

Raven

I love thee
More than myself
You make me feel
Like I'm something.

You understand me,
My pain and my tears
You're there for me when
I needed someone the most.

You want to take my pain away
No one can but me
I will someday realize it
Until then all I ask of thee
Is to love me
Like I deserve to be loved.
<img:http://www.elfpack.com/img/image/54238_1249167161.jpg>

Emotional Death

When the pain inside
Bubbles up
And makes you want to scream,
Then run away
And grab the knife,
Put an end to your miserable life.
When the pain inside
Is just too much
To handle anymore
Grab the knife
And slit your wrist
Screaming as you fall to the floor.
For the pain inside
Rushes out,
As your blood begins to pour
That's it, you've had enough
You don't have to deal anymore.
So goodbye to you
Goodbye to me
You've died emotionally
Think only of this
They can't hurt you now
And as your skin grows cold
Your heart will stop beating
And your last breath will be taken
You've suffered an emotional death.
<img:http://www.elfpack.com/img/image/54238_1249167161.jpg>

Punk

Punk is a way of life
It's an art for those
Who want to be unique
They don't want to be like other people
They want to be different
Being different is
What punk is

It doesn't make them weird
It's a way to express ones self
I want to express myself
I want to be different.
<img:http://www.elfpack.com/img/image/54238_1249167161.jpg>

To A Lovely Death

It creeps up on you
Like the winter chill
Then pounces like a tiger
Making its kill
It stabs you like knives
Going through butter
Then burns like hell
But what does it matter
Love and hate
Consumes your soul
Love and hate
The true blood toll
Love took your life
It caused your death
Love took your life
Took your very breath
You still dream of the pain
When knife met flesh and slit again
You still dream of the relief
Well the time is coming, it's almost 10
At the stroke of midnight
Grab the knife
At the stroke of midnight
End your life.
<img:http://www.elfpack.com/img/image/54238_1249167161.jpg>

Fairy Tale

The queen is counting money
The king's upon the maid
The baby's in the garden
Getting buried in the shade
The roses are slowly wilting
That means winter's near
Why, when there's death
Comes fear.
<img:http://www.elfpack.com/img/image/54238_1249167161.jpg>

Untitled

One scream after another
Blinding words of vengeance
No love, only hatred
Late nights sitting here
Listening to the voices;

Voices that are familiar
To myself,
I remember when we
Were all happy
But those days are long gone;

I can't save me from myself
And you're not helping
Once again you have no idea
How your life is affecting mine.
<img:http://www.elfpack.com/img/image/54238_1249167161.jpg>

Random

Everything is messed up
nothing is ever ok.
It seems the days are in a blender
and they all mix into one vile mess
Everyone is the same
It both scares and disgusts me
Nothing makes sense
I just want the world to stop spinnng
To give me a second to figure life out
18 years dead
the only thing I know
is nothing means anything
or is it anything means nothing
either way the two things are the same
such words corrupt and frighten
my words are truth?
Or are they lies?
No one tells the truth
but I can read your mind
I know what your thinking
but your wrong!
I'm not insane yet, just half way there
does thinking your the only sane person alive
make you crazy?
I know everything
I know what you fear
this knowledge would kill you
scare the hell out of you
make you vomit
then come back for more.
You stupid immature sheep.
You are nothing and no one cares!
I burned all your pictures and your memories too
then I burned the ashes.
And made you eat them in your sleep.
You filthy creature,
go bathe in your own filth
and die of your own poison
and stab into your black broken heart
rip it out
and throw it away.
Then and only then
will you be Perfect.
<img:http://www.elfpack.com/img/image/54238_1249167161.jpg>

Return to: Elfpack Poetry or [Neurotic Obsession]'s house or move on to Neurotic Obsession's Poetry 2

2009-07-18 [Bookwyrm]: Added to Elfpack Poetry, and I hope you don't mind but I added a link back to the poetry page. ^_^ Love your poetry!

2009-07-18 [Neurotic Obsession]: Thanks and thanks! ^^ <3

2009-07-18 [Bookwyrm]: Not a problem at all! ^___^

2009-08-04 [His L♥ve M♥nster]: I'm totally intrigued by you! Hope that doesn't sound weird. >< lol You're truly unique. :] Kudos.

2009-08-04 [Neurotic Obsession]: Thank-you! And trust me, it takes a lot for something to seem weird to me :P

2009-08-05 [His L♥ve M♥nster]: Good to know. :]

2009-08-05 [Neurotic Obsession]: :P

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