augh.. i hate this. i feel so out of sorts these days. the last few days i feel like i have been on an emotional roller coaster. seems like even just a grumpy look from my husband and i cry. i get mad or cry or yell at people. idk what's going on.
Well I didn't burn the turkey.... My first attempt at thanksgiving dinner went well. So I am semi happy. This week has been really hard. My father in law died last week... Monday was the funeral and my mother in law is still not better. Dialysis isn't working. I'm now an instant mom over my husbands little brother. He is 13. My other brother in law is staying with us to make sure be can do all he can for us and their mom like we did for their dad (hubby and I did cpr). A cousin from Canada is here too. So we aren't alone. But it sure feels like it.
i wish that we could all go back in time so that my brother in law was healthy. i love him and he's just a kid. he doesn't deserve to be so sick. hopefully he doesn't have to stay in the hospital for a long time. i hope he can come home and be healthy. i hope the doctors can find meds that will work and help him.
my life has changed so much. I found the man made for me. only issue is my ex gf has been a big problem for him. she wouldn't refrain from talking to me in a way that was not just friend like. we thought the issue had been fixed because she moved out of state but i just found out she moved back to the area. we have been doing very well besides. we are planning our wedding and have a future planned. i'm so glad my life has turned around.
what would you do if your ex told you he loves you...would you make sure to confirm that it's as friends or as that he misses being with you?... what if this ex happens to be your best friend and ex roommate's ex? what would you do?
what is love? there are those who say it's a chemical reaction. there are others that say it is the best thing ever in the world. then there are those who speak of it like it is the plague. what if they are all right?
one touch can cause you to be nervous or soothed your heart beating faster or your breathing slows.
one glance can enflame and excite or injure and shut out.
one smile can make you feel like the most lucky person on earth
one frown can make you feel like the worst person on earth.
one smell of the scent that is theirs and you remember every moment
the lack of that scent makes you forlorn and wistful
the interlacing of fingers between your hand and theirs can make you feel comforted that all is right in the world and feel complete
a mere gesture of the hand can invite and entice or reject and abjure
the sound of their laugh sends shivers through you at how right it sounds
a single sob can wrench your heart
any physical anomaly that they have goes unnoticed or found to be attractive simply because it is part of them
no matter what they do you can't hate or despise them because the are your beloved.
knowing they react to you incites you to be over receptive to advances or emboldens you to stoke the flame of passions fires.
it's no just chemical and neither is it the greatest nor is it the worst thing to happen between you and another.
you may find it a blessing or a curse or not notice it as anything other than how you have always been with each other... as long as love is there... believe what you want. just never remove it from your life if you can help it.
what do you do if the guy that got you pregnant and left you when you miscarried calls you up months later saying he misses you and wants to see you and that he's been worried? after you've lost 4 family members and been victim to sexual intercourse unwillingly with the guy that he'd introduced you to and you'd started dating? would you tell him to fuck off? or would you let him come see you because you still love him?
Finished my course... looking for apartment and job.
fell for someone hard. haven't mentioned it the last few entries. He and i were going to have twins but i lost them. i've been trying to avoid him like the plague but he won't let me. not easy to hide on campus and can't leave campus cept on weekends and tuesday afternoons.
a few possibilities in relation to the love life.... dunno what i'll do or who will be the one but that's all the fun in it. had summer break at the beginning of the month. not much happened.
well the shit hit the fan. i got pregnant.... lost it.... and the father said he wanted to try again but then he went and fucked his ex behind my back.
hey y'all long time no see! it's been forever. lots of stuff going on lately. if you really care and want updates you can email me. (not bad drama if your wondering) phone broke so i had to get a new one. lost all my numbers and everything.
i might be pregnant!
i'm GETTIING MARRIED!!!!!!!
my ex once again dumped me! and i'm now single and bored out of my mind! lol. i have to work holidays i figured out... but i get over time so that's good.. i guess.
well my ex caved and asked me back out. and i said yes. went on a date with my sister... her new guy and the one she made me take. broke up with him between the movie and the pool hall. sister is a divorcee... soon to be mommy.
i don't like mri machines.. they freak me out!
ok... i have had a really bad experience with love.. back in september... 3 days before our 1year and 4 month anneversary my girlfriend decides that she want's to be with her gay boyfriend more than she want's to be with me. he has a boyfriend as well as her... and he is living in montana while she and i live in washington.i only live half a flippin' hour's drive away from her now. the sad thing is that she still loves me.
my sister was dating one of my friends over the summer... but around the first of august she calls me and tells me that he's mine.. to soften the blow for him that she has just gotten married and is "with child". so now i have a boyfriend. his name is matt. and he's one of the funniest best guys i know... i just don't want him in bed with me. i don't know what to do with him. i don't want to break his heart but i can't really stay with him just to make him happy when i'm not. i'm not really looking for a new person in my life right now... and i'm just not comfortable taking back an older relationship i had.
i just need my friends for morral support... (or something like that)... i'm kinda down right now. friends make the difference.