Today has been oaky so far...my mom doesn't know where I am well...she does but she doesn't know the real reason of why I'm here.It's for her own good not to know.Have you ever felt like that?I just had to go start Josh's dirt bike,he's 8 and he's like a brother to me.;)
Things at home are still the same.I'm just hanging in there.I haven't cut for 2 weeks.I'm proud of myself.....but my eating disorder is kinda not improving.The day before yesterday I was throwing up blood and my nose bled straight for like 3 hours.I have to admit it scared me a lil bit,even though I'm used to it you never know when your last day is and that alone is alot of worrying.
Yesterday I went modeling again and turned down a job,which I now regret a lil.The job was to model for YMI clothes and swimwear.I would've got paid $50,000 a commerical and there were at least 12 commericals on the contract.My manager was so suprised when I turned it down.But whatever she was kinda dissapointed but it was to be able to see the love of my life so to me it was totally worth rejecting.He's worth it...he's worth everything to me and if I had to I would give my life for him too.But time for me to cut outta here because Jonny's asleep and when he wakes up he'll wanna take a shower.(memories)lol sorry but since this is to the public I think it'd be best if I didn't write all that.
This morning I seen my babygurl and I have decided that I'm going to break up with my boyfriend and just stick with Rachelle!Socia