SCHMUCK
I coulda had it, but
I didnt press it hard
And now the time may have passed me by
I wish I woulda, but
I cant express it now
Cuz now the time may have passed me by
Im such a schmuck
I didnt push enough
But I never though
That I coulda had something so good
I am a schmuck
Such a dumb fuck
Just sat and watched it pass me by
And now I watch from the sidelines
Looking for a place and time
To where I can reach inside
But I am a schmuck for waiting
But I tried
CHEW
God is coming and so am I
You dont want to live this lie
Take it for what it is
And I dont care if you dont want it
Im giving this to you to feed on
Chew it nice and slow
No choking
Swallow your mouthful
Before you
Bite off more to chew
God is leaving and so am I
I am done with your fragile life
I leave you wanting more today
I dont hear your begging, praying for me to stay
Just fucking deal with it
Your thumbs give you confidence
Your minds make up all of this
To die and have eternal bliss
That is how you deal with it
Fuck this!
GODLIKE
When we fuck I feel like a god
When I cum I am one
Swallow my saviors And you will be forgiven
Revel in this sin for your only human
Take all I am willing to give
Believe in me im your deliverence
Heaven is found in this orgasm
Pain is just an illusion
You are my invision
For acceptence to my heaven
Do you feel it desolution
Do you need it confirmation
Bleeding out your needs
Your bleeding for me
Begging
Praying
Wanting
Seething
Needing for me
To make you see
To make you feel
Something so real
STRIP FOR ME
Let me see you strip, for me
Peal off all your skin, for me
Show me your organs, for me
Bleed, for me
Your need, for me
Dont deny me your needs
And I wont neglect to please
I want to feel your insides
I want to hurt you, dont hide
Dig through tissue
Have my way with you
Dont hide
Let me inside
I will only find
All that you hide
Dont be afraid, dont be scared
Its a small price to be paid
To face what you feared
You want it
I need it
So dont try to fight it
CELIBATE
Why do I feel this emotionless recognition of past relationships
An unconnected disembodied hope that I just may someday forget
The pain heartache discomfort feeling alone with my regret
I want to give it all away
But Im too weak and fetal
I depend on that pain to survive
Its apart of me that will never die
It feeds me and keeps me alive
The devil has given me this new ground
And with her we will dance all around
My hatred and regret are my new legs now
And with them I can walk and dance and run all over anyone
So here I come, here I come, here I come
My time has just begun
My anger and I are finally one
Embracing the dark
I blow out the light
So here I come
With all of my might
MY TIME HAS JUST BEGUN!!!!
MY CHOLER AND I ARE FINALLY ONE!!!!
WANTING THE NEED (NOT IT)
The innocent, virtuous, delightful, wildly chaotic, corrupting, mephistophelia
I can not get past this
Never. Fuck, shit!
I motherfucking love this
Im a motherfucking addict
Skim my finger tips
Brush against my lips
A lingering scent
I can not forget
And I would not change anything
If I had it
I would lose my desire
So I dont want it
I just want to need it
Keep it away from me
But please only just out of reach
And dont you fucking change anything
WARM PROTEIN SHOTS
Do you want it?.... Yeah!
I can give it!.... Now!
Can you take it?.... Down!
A one ounce shot
Of warm protein.
Just put it in your mouth
And swallow.
You are all my whores.
Begging me for more.
Cuts bleed,
From your knees.
Looking up at me.
Dont know what you see.
Or what you need.
So you want it?
I might give it.
You will take it.
Down, Down, Down
And when you need it.
I will give it.
So you can have it.
Now, Now, Now
(DONT) STOP
This is my love, This is my dream
Where nothing is really just as it seems
Everything is so blurry its so obscene
The bodies are curtains so I can not be seen
Their rything and grinding wanting to scream
They never once thought just what they could be
As the blood flows, Drugs start to go
Race through your viens, Kills all the pain
The demons you lust, The demons you fuck
The urges set in, The fucking begins
Slap them around, Tie them all down
I know what they want, So I will never stop....
Stop..... Stop..... Stop.....
This is my gun, This is my hate
Where all I dont want, Is just what I make
Create the deposits, That create the days
Bones in the closet, Thats where they will stay
I wear these masks, I wear all this fake
You dont understand, Just what it will take
As the blood flows, Drugs start to go
Race through your viens, Kills all the pain
The demons you lust, The demons you fuck
The urges set in, The fucking begins
Slap them around, Tie them all down
I know what they want, So I will never stop....
Stop..... Stop..... Stop....
SADISM
I..... want to taste...... you.......
I..... want to feel your...... body pulse.....
With ecstasy......
Make you squirm!
Make you bleed!
Make you hurt!
Make you scream....
DONT STOP, DONT STOP, TAKE ME THERE!
FUCK ME, FUCK ME, I AM ALMOST THERE!
OH GOD, OH GOD, I AM THERE!
I AM FEELING, FEELING, I FEEL SO SCARED!
My life..... flashed before..... my eyes.....
This pain..... hurts so good.... that I.....
Might be in love.....
Make me squirm!
Make me bleed!
Make me hurt!
Make me scream.....
DONT STOP, DONT STOP, TAKE ME THERE!
FUCK ME, FUCK ME, I AM ALMOST THERE!
OH GOD, OH GOD, I AM THERE!
I AM FEELING, FEELING, I FEEL SO SCARED!
Until now,I didnt know
And
Smoehow, Its starting to show
As we lay here
Blood staining the sheets
With fading fear
And loving release
I know now
What I wanted to be
This sadistic fucker
With no love in me
DONT STOP, DONT STOP, TAKE ME THERE!
FUCK ME, FUCK ME, I AM ALMOST THERE!
OH GOD, OH GOD, I AM THERE!
I AM FEELING, FEELING, I FEEL SO SCARED!
DIRTY SEX (BROKEN SKIN & ROPE BURNS)
Up and Down, In and Out
I try hard to get away from
Left and Right, Front and Back
It follows me everywhere now
Oh these thoughts
These dirty,dirty,di
If you knew what I harbor
You would want to run away
Or would you?
Are you as sick as me?
Do you supress the need?
Do you like to bleed?
I think your as sick as me!
So will you?
Up and Down, In and Out
As we fuck the scars rip open
Left and Right, Front and Back
Sadistic love and masochism
Oh these thoughs
These dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty thoughts
Bruises, welts, a little rope burn
Makes our sex so much better
Oh these dirty thoughts!
BROKEN
My erstwhile existence an unmitigated suffering
Ruin to the evidence of the donation of Eros
Never considered this uxorious veneration
Would be an abradant to my psyche
And here I lay unkept and imperfect
Disorganized and fragmented
Confused and uncomplete
Broken
In the exibit of today the composistion desends asunder
The chafing fuels my neurotic inability to grapple the surrealism
Floundering through the transition to assume consent of inculpation
So here I lay
Broken
So here I lay
Waiting to be fixed
But I dont hold my breath
I dont put too much faith in false hopes
I accept my cracks
And embrace my blemishes
They are all that remain
BAD PRESCRIPTION
Everybodies aching for me.
Im like a drug you can not get enough of.
I flow through your viens I distroy all your pain.
I build you up just to tear you down.
You want my love just to fuck around.
And you always come back for more.
And you always drop to the floor.
Your begging on you knees.
"Take me, cum in me please."
Everybody, everybody, everybody is aching for love.
Everybody, everybody, everybody is craving this drug.
You cant have me! You cant have me! You cant have me, anymore!!
Go find a new addiction.
Im not your prescription!
Go find a new addiction,
Im not your prescription!
Im not your pleasure toy or your whore!
All you fucked me, so I'll fuck you all!
Im all used up, now I have nothing left.
Im all fucked up, and its all in my head.
Im no longer your fucking pleasure toy!
Im no longer your fucking whore!
Im gonna, Im gonna, Im gonna,
FUCK YOU ALL!!!!
CONFUCTION
Not knowing, I feel
Disreguarded and tossed aside.
Pushed away, I watch
Observing from the outside.
Unwilling, I kneel
Tearing at my tear soaked eyes.
While I pray, I fought
The loss from this compromize.
Lack of lacrimal production
The gaiety of distruction
Firebrand for dececption
Placed me, in a, state of confuction
Catabolism occurs then dissimilated and metabolized
Began tearing up the very architecture that I called my life
Desperate victim to the environment that changed the integrity
Concede to the atmosphere of subjugation and captivity
Design to the freshet of a catastrophic memento mori
Conscionable and centripal a non-transitori
Lack of lacrimal production
The gaiety of distruction
Firebrand for dececption
Here I am broke by this rejection
Lost again in a state of confuction
WHAT IS LEFT OF ME NOW?
Uninformed I try to stay together
Put a smile on to not looked bothered
I have no way to vent this depression
As this fades so does my motivation
There is no one here that I can confide
So all alone inside here I will hide
What is left of me now
Just piled up shattered dreams
What is left of me now
Too many broken promises
Every night when I can not sleep
I lie awake lost in the dream
The unobtainable perfection
Is now my sweetest adiction
Nothing left of me now
Nothing pure nothing good
Nothing left of me now
Nothing I ever want to be
But this is me now
I guess