I really dont know what to put here anymore. Here is some of my poetry from darker days. Let me know what you think. If you are going to steal it let me know so that I can find you and put some type of physical harm to you.

Thanks
Forthright
Blame
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Shifting the blame
Wanting the same
I feel my heart stop
As if nothing were wrong
I want this to go away
All that tends to happen is that it stays
I have brought back an unwanted friend
I have cut once again
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Death and the cries
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I feel the worry and shift the blame
I cry at night when Im the one that is the same
I hope for the best and all that comes is the worst
I tear my arm open, hoping that it will all stop
But what tends to happen is that everything is a total flop
Hear my cries and hope that I dont die
I rip and tear and all that happens is that you are no longer there
I wish that I would die
But nothing comes of it
I wish that this would stop
I put the knife down and see what I have done
I know that I should tell someone but all they do is run
I want to stop the bleeding
but it is the only thing that I can control...
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The lines of death are simple and true
The lines of life are jagged and edged
Life is like the mountains full of ups and downs
Death is the endless valley that never changes
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ME



I lie here breathing
I lie here seeing
I see a reflection of someone i know nothing about
This person that is shown is entirely unknown
He is a stranger
That tries to live in danger
This thing that looks back
Is nothing when it comes to the fact
A faceless creature with no knowledge of whats inside
Lost in a field within itself
Left to do nothing but wither and die
I see all of this when I see it eye to eye.
Now why cant i just give up and die.
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Where there is life there is hope and suffering
Where there is death there is ease
To sum this all up Death is the way to go for living causes suffering.



Love leads to heart-ache so why do we care? Nothing lasts forever even though we say so. What's the point of caring and hopeing that someone cares about another. It exists but why? Love doesn't make sense to me. I have been told we live to love. Why is this (if true)? Why do we care? Why do we worry? Why do we want? If all we are going to do is lust after another. We do all of this just to forget and hate. The 3 L's of mankind are Love, Lust, and Lie. This all ends with the end of our lives. So what's the point of living if we all know that it will end?
These are the questions that have no right answer. They are the reason why I'm a lonely soul that wonders the planet looking for a reason.



From life to death
From death to life
this is our role in nature



We live this life just to die
this is our hope to fly when we die
I think that we should all fry
We live this life just to die
what about suicide
it is a sin or so I'm told
What's the point of growing old
if we live this life just to die
SCREW the thoughts of other people
I have no life thats considered evil
I dont care what i am told
I dont live this life just to grow old
I live this life just to die
I will end up in the ground not the sky
Will I commit suicide
Why I...I dont know
But i will be put in a hole
So #### the life we live to die
I think I will
I will commit suicide



You say you know me
you say you love me
Then why dont you hold me
I need you now but you dont see that
I am your son but you dont care
I have no more thoughts to bear
You no longer can help me b/c you are not there
You say you love me
You say you know me
Then why do you ignore me



Depression and Friends
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Why are we depressed?
Why do we all have friends?
One leads to the other
Which eventually leads to an end
When we lose our friends
Our hopes draw to an end



Friends
-------
There is no other way to fill the void
except with that friend's love
Just remember them
that's all you can do
I will remember them will you?



Third Party
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Life in a twirl of a coin
As you watch your destiny unravel as the coin repeatedly flies.
Flipping and turning
we see your reflection appear in your eyes
as you watch the destination as the coin hits your cold scarred fleshy palm
A chamber unloads as your destiny unfolds



Sadness and Friends
---------------------
Why all are we all glad?
Why arent we all sad?
You just lost a friend isnt that bad
I am depressed that makes me sad
What's the point if everyone is glad?
I know these lives came to an end.
I know that each one was my friend
I wont forget them
I will remember them even past this bitter end.
Thats right they will always be my friends



Life
----
Life is unfair.
I know you dont care.
Life is unfair.
I want to know why.
Life is unfair.
I know you really dont care.
Life is unfair.
I know that you are aware.
Life is unfair.
I know go tell someone who cares.
Life is unfair.
Fine then end it.



not sure what to call it
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Love me if you will
hate me if you might
just remember im not going down without a fight
i live this life
to make you happy
and all you do is to continue to slap me
i wont give up and i will not quit
until you get through this goddam fit
i will no longer put up with your shit
either get over it or i will make you quit
some call it abuse others call it rape
so whats it like to start a young boys fate
i hope to god
that you will figure it out
that what you did
may very well be the end
you said you were my pal and you said you were my friend
so why the hell did you make me a man
if i knew then what i knew now
you would have been labeled as a fucking cow
im depressed and hoping that it will all end now
so i want you to know
that you made it all go
my life is gone
ill never be the same
thanx again for all the shame
i hope you rot
and i hope you die
always knowing you made a young man cry
so end your life no one cares
the secrets that you hide
just made someone cry
so goodbye to you and to the ones that care
i have just told my story
and it ends there


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The Feeling



There is this feeling deep inside
It cries to get out but stays within
You dont let it go
You really just dont know what to do so you keep it within
You tell it to shut up but it fights to get out
You say enough I dont care what your all about
It stays inside without anymore struggle
Its there dead without any fuss
But now it hurts and you want to cuss
This damn feeling is now unknown to all of us
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Thoughts
This thing that drowns everything
The feeling of loss and yet gain
Im lost in a sea of confusion
I dont know what to do
When it comes down to it i only think of you
What we could have had
It makes me really sad
I fucked up and let you go
There was nothing that i could do i know
Im filled with sorrow and pain
I have started all my habits that i once stopped
Why...I ask myself the same question
All because of the one thought that i cant control
Leave it in the bag or make a new hole
Now i really am out of control