i am me
NEVER IS (X)
(_) I NEVER HAVE BEEN DRUNK
(x) I NEVER HAVE SMOKED POT
(_) I NEVER HAVE KISSED A MEMBER OF THE OPPOSITE SEX
(_) I NEVER HAVE KISSED A MEMBER OF THE SAME SEX
(_) I NEVER CRASHED A FRIEND'S CAR
(x) I NEVER BEEN TO JAPAN
(X) I NEVER RODE IN A TAXI
(X) I NEVER HAD ANAL SEX
(_) I NEVER HAVE BEEN IN LOVE
(X) I NEVER HAD SEX
(X) I NEVER HAVE HAD SEX IN PUBLIC
(X) I NEVER HAVE BEEN DUMPED
(_) I NEVER SHOPLIFTED
(X) I NEVER HAVE BEEN FIRED
(_) I NEVER BEEN IN A FIST FIGHT
(X) I NEVER HAD A THREESOME
(_) I NEVER BEEN SNUCK OUT OF MY PARENT'S HOUSE
(_) I NEVER BEEN TIED UP (SEXUALLY)
(X) I NEVER BEEN CAUGHT MASTURBATING
(X) I NEVER PISSED ON MYSELF
(X) I NEVER HAD SEX WITH A MEMBER OF THE SAME SEX
(X) I NEVER BEEN ARRESTED
(X) I NEVER MADE OUT WITH A STRANGER
(X) I NEVER STOLE SOMETHING FROM MY JOB
(X) I NEVER WENT ON A BLIND DATE
(X) I NEVER LIED TO A FRIEND
(_) I NEVER HAD A CRUSH ON A TEACHER
(_) I NEVER SKIPPED SCHOOL
(X) I NEVER SLEPT WITH A CO-WORKER
(X) I NEVER BEEN SKYDIVING
(X) I NEVER HAVE BEEN DUMPSTER DIVING
(_) I NEVER PUT MY PANTS ON MY HEAD RANDOMLY
(X) I NEVER WALKED IN ON FRIENDS HAVING SEX
(X) I NEVER WALKED IN ON MY PARENTS HAVING SEX
(X) I NEVER HAVE BEEN CAUGHT HAVING SEX
(X) I NEVER EGGED A PT CRUISER OR HONDA ELEMENT (SHEIST BOX)
(_) I NEVER LIED JUST TO COVER MY OWN ASS
(_) I NEVER CUT SOMEONE AND MADE THEM BLEED
(X) I NEVER GIVEN OR RECIVED ORAL SEX



The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Fifth Level of Hell!


Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Level | Score
Purgatory | Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo | Very Low
Level 2 | High
Level 3 | Low
Level 4 | Low
Level 5 | Very High
Level 6 - The City of Dis | High
Level 7 | Very High
Level 8- the Malebolge | Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus | High


Level descriptions: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/dante-inferno-information.html
Take the test: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/dante-inferno-test.mv














_____________________________________
my results
Disorder | Rating
Paranoid: High
Schizoid: Moderate
Schizotypal: Moderate
Antisocial: Moderate
Borderline: Very High
Histrionic: High
Narcissistic: Moderate
Avoidant: High
Dependent: Very High
Obsessive-Compulsive: High


[bloodyrain]


Paranoid: Very High
Schizoid: High
Schizotypal: Very High
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Moderate
Histrionic: High
Narcissistic: Moderate
Avoidant: Very High
Dependent: High
Obsessive-Compulsive: High


[MintlyNsane]


Paranoid: Low
Schizoid: Moderate
Schizotypal: Moderate
Antisocial: High
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: Low
Narcissistic: Moderate
Avoidant: Low
Dependent: Low
Obsessive-Compulsive: Low



[Sojuru Lit-Vithis]]
Paranoid: Very High
Schizoid: High
Schizotypal: High
Antisocial: High
Borderline: Very High
Histrionic: Very High
Narcissistic: High
Avoidant: Moderate
Dependent: High
Obsessive-Compulsive: Moderate


[wolfclan5@elftown]


Paranoid: Very High
Schizoid: High
Schizotypal: High
Antisocial: High
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: Moderate
Narcissistic: Moderate
Avoidant: High
Dependent: low
Obsessive-Compulsive: high


[a walking nightmare]
Paranoid: Moderate
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: Low
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: Low
Narcissistic: Low
Avoidant: Low
Dependent: Low
Obsessive-Compulsive: Low


[corky@elftown]
Disorder | Rating
Paranoid: Moderate
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: Moderate
Antisocial: Moderate
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: Low
Narcissistic: High
Avoidant: Low
Dependent: Low
Obsessive-Compulsive: Moderate


[lorric]


Disorder | Rating
Paranoid: Low
Schizoid: High
Schizotypal: Moderate
Antisocial: High
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: Low
Narcissistic: Low
Avoidant: Low
Dependent: Low
Obsessive-Compulsive: Low


[Haunted By Pink Elephants@elftown]


Disorder | Rating
Paranoid: Low
Schizoid: Moderate
Schizotypal: High
Antisocial: Moderate
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: Low
Narcissistic: Moderate
Avoidant: Low
Dependent: Low
Obsessive-Compulsive: Moderate


URL of the test: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv
URL for more info: http://www.4degreez.com/disorder/index.html
You are a maniac killer.
It doesn't matter who they are and what they have or haven't done. You still want to kill them. And for a simple reason only; it's fun. Seeing people in pain is like ecstasy. Maybe you have some sort of mental problems or you are this way because of previous deep scars, only you know. But now you are sadistic and maybe you only like to see a special group of people be in pain (e.g. preps). However you are not the most social person in the bunch and people think you are weird. That bothers you somewhat but atleast you can entertain yourself with daydreaming about killing them. After all, they have no idea what's coming.


Main weapon: Explosives and torture equpiment
Quote: "Insanity: a perfect rational adjustment to an insane world" - R.D. Lang
Facial expression: Wicked smile






________________________________________________
Lifes A Bitch
Until You Die
So Fuck The World And Lets Get High
If At First You Don't Succeed
Then Try Agin With Better Weed____________________
001: Name: leanna
002: Nickname: lee,midget,shorty lee, shorty,excetra ask and i will tell the rest
003: Country of living: USA
004: Birthdate:11/28/1988
005: Length: 4ft. 10in ... positive no lie
006: Eye color: shit color aka brown
007: Shoesize: 5 1/2
008: School/work: school
009: You smoke: no
010: Hobby's: I do poetry and photogrphy


011: Brothers/Sisters: 1 brother,3 step brothers, 2 sisters, 3 sister-inlaws
012: Relationship: nope
013: Piercing(s): 2 in each ear
014: Tattoo: someday...
015: Fave Country to go to: Italy and Australia
016: Are there people you wont reply to?: yes
017: Nicest person(s) you met this year: people
018: Person you rather not have met this year: none
019: Who would you like to meet: Billie Joe A
020: Who do you admire most: emily dickinson



021: Most sexy person(s): Billie Joe Armstrong!!! can you say Fuck Yea!!
022: Favorite Pyjama: A Large T-shirt and underwear
023: Favorite Car: corvette
024: Favorite Movie(s):sunshine of the spotless mind,the best man, and any other scary movies
025: Favorite music: Anything, try me!
026: Favorite City(s): dont have one
027: Favorite Plush: piggly wiggly my stuff pig
029: Favoriete Magazine: weekly world news
030: Favorite sound: The sound of a souped up car engine!!



031: Favorite TV-series: tru calling, the simpsons, the grim adventures of billy and mandy, Wild Boys,dave the barbarian, South Park, ivader zim,and many more
032: Favorite Writer: edgar allen poe
033: Favorite Nickname: lee
034: What is on your mousepad: hard rock cafe 2000
035: What is under your bed: Shit...I don't know!?!
036: Favorite color: Purple,orange
037: Favorite Song ever: jessie's girl (rick springfield )
038: Favorite song at this moment:save me (unwritten law)
039: Favorite Class:My Lunch Period!!and photo
040: Worst Class: geomatry



041: Favorite drink: baccardi name one and i will tell you
042: Lucky number: 8
043: What do you think is greatest about yourself: nothing
044: What deodorant do you use: mitchum/ax(voodoo) i know it is for guys i love the smell
045: Favorite shoes: converse,light ups (aliens) and Roos
046: What time do you go to bed on weekdays: 10pm
047: What word(s) do you use most: shit, fuck, DAMN!,fetish, what?!
048: Most romantic moment in your life: hasn't happend yet
049: Most embarassing moment in your life: when i got hit with a banna in the head on accident 6th grade
050: You spend your time rather inside or outside: all depends on my moods



051: What do you do on the weekends: SLEEP or go out with friends
052: What class in school do/did you dislike most: didn't this question already come up??
053: Your Breakfast: don't eat breakfast, poptarts, or kix
054: What do you really really dislike to eat: squash
055: Pets: 1 dog(mix named atticus), 1fish(betta mopy bob)
056: Laugh or dream: laugh
057: Serious or funny: how about Hilarious
058: Fast or slow: depends on what your doing
059: You prefer being alone or have relation: it depends on person
060: Simple or complicated? both



061: Cremate or Buried when dead: Cremated
062: Sex or alcohol: both
063: Stay up late or go to bed early: late
064: Light or dark?: bright/mixed with dark
065: Speak or Silence: depends
066: Tall or small man/woman: taller than me..lol
067: News paper: um....how about not, the comics are ok though!!
068: Hug or kiss: both
069: Happy or Sad: mixed
070: Life or Death: ...SKIPPING...



071: Gig or Disco: Disco...stayin' alive!!!
072: Left or Right: right
073: Sausages on top, or on the side: dont eat pig
074: Dark/ red/ Blonde: red
075: What would you ask God if you could ask him 1 single question: when am i going to die
076: You believe in reincarnation: yes
077: You believe in Aliens: hell yes
078: When you die, what will be your last words?: "finally!"
079: Does true love exist: no but i do beleave extream likeness for one
080: How many kids would you like to have: hope none but 2, at the most



081: What is the one thing you can't stand: hypocrites
082: Best feeling: the world no longer exists
083: Worst feeling in the world: loseing someone you have extream like for
084: What are you afraid of: being alone but i deal with it when i am oh and [MintlyNsane]'s pidgions
085: Are you an emotional person: kinda i try not to be unless it is happy emotions not sad i hate to be sad but it happens now and then
086: Do you ever cry during a movie: no i hate to cry
087: Your goal in life: to die knowing I had people having a strong likeing in me!!! and find every one who pissed me off and i held a grudge to and shoot them in the head
088: What was the promise you made to yourself at new years eve: i dont like promises i cant keep them and niehther can you
089: Favorite art-artist: salvador dali
090: As what animal(s) would you like to reincarnate: a Siberian-Tiger



091: What is the most beautiful part(s) on the female body: the breasts and eyes
092: Most original place to have your love ask you to marry them: when i am taking a picture and he takes a picture on one knee with a ring on my bed
093:What do you think of Elfpack: it's ok
094: Is there something you miss about elfpack: no?
095: Where did you get this question list: copied and pasted from another member and changed the answers
096: Besides elftown, what do you do most on your PC: aim and surfing the internet,and mail
097: Favorite band: green day
098: In one word what would you describe yourself as?: short/midget
099: Favorite room in the house: My room!!
100: Is there a question you missed in this all: no





____________________________________________________________________
I thought this was funny when I read it:


I shave my legs
I sit down to pee,
and I can justify
any shopping spree,
I dont go to a barber
but a beauty salon,
I can get a message
without a hard-on,
I can balance the check book
I can pump my own gas,
can talk to my friends
about the size of my ass,
my styles a master piece
and yes it takes long,
at least I can admit
to others when I'm wrong,
I dont drive in circles
at any cost,
and I dont have a problem
admitting I'm lost,
I never forget
an important date,
you just got to deal with it
when I'm usally late,
I dont watch a movie with alot of gore
dont need an instant replay
to remember the score,
I wont lose my hair
I dont get jock itch,
and just cause I'm assertive
dont call me a bitch,
dont say to your friends
"oh yeah I can get her",
in your dreams my dear
I can do better!,
flowers are okay
jewelerys best,
look at me you idiot.....
NOT at my chest!!!,
I dont have a problem
with expressing my feelings,
I know when your lying
you look at the celing,
DONT call me a GIRL
a BABE or a CHICK,
I am a WOMAN!
So you can suck my DICK!!!


I am worth $1,518,500.00 on HumanForSale.com
   jokes now

The many uses of vasoline

Steve is shopping for a new motorcycle. He finally finds one for a great price. The motorcycle is missing a seal, though, so whenever it rains Steve has to smear Vaseline over the spot where the seal should be.

Steve’s girlfriend is having him over for dinner to meet her parents one evening. He drives his new motorcycle to his girlfriend’s house.

She is waiting outside for him when he arrives. "No matter what happens at dinner tonight, don't say a word. Our family had a fight a while ago about doing the dinner dishes. We haven't done any since... and the first person to speak at dinner has to do them."

Steve sits down for dinner and soon notices that his girlfriend wasn’t exaggerating. It is just how she described it. Dishes are piled up to the ceiling in the kitchen and nobody is saying a word. Steve decides to have a little fun. He grabs his girlfriend, throws her onto the table and has sex with her in front of her parents. His girlfriend is a little flustered, her father is obviously livid, and her mother is horrified. Yet, when Steve and his girlfriend resume their placs at the dinner table, nobody says a word.

A few minutes later, Steve grabs his girlfriend’s mom, throws her onto the table and does a repeat performance. Now his girlfriend is furious, her father is boiling, and her mother is a little more pleased. But still, there is complete silence at the table.

Suddenly, there is a loud clap of thunder and it starts to rain. Steve remembers his motorcycle outside and so he jumps up and grabs his jar of Vaseline.

With a look of terror in his eyes, the girlfriend’s father backs away from the table and exclaims, "Okay, enough already, I'll do the damn dishes!"



Never lie to your Mom

John invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but noticing how beautiful John's room-mate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his room-mate, and this had only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and his room-mate than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you Julie and I are just room-mates."

About a week later, Julie came to John saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"

John said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure."

So he sat down and wrote: "Dear Mother, I'm not saying that you 'did' take the gravy ladle from my house, I'm not saying that you 'did not' take the gravy ladle but the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner."

Several days later, John received a letter from his mother which read:

"Dear Son, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Julie, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Julie. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom."

Lesson of the day ...Never Lie to Your Mother






Some Women Decide to Play Golf


A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the two some teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. Indeed, the ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in evident agony.

The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize. She said, "Please allow me to help. I'm a physical therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow."

"Ummph, oooh, nnooo, I'll be all right...I'll be fine in a few minutes," he replied
breathlessly as he remained in the fetal position still clasping his hands together at his crotch.

But she persisted, and he finally allowed her to help him. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, she loosened his pants, and she put her hands inside. She began to massage him. She then asked him, "How does that feel?"

To which he replied, "It feels great, but my thumb still hurts like hell."



A little Boy visits a whore house



A little boy about 10 years old was walking down the sidewalk, dragging a flattened frog on a string behind him. He came up to the doorstep of a whore house and knocked on the door. When the Madam answered it, she saw the little boy and asked what he wanted. He said, "I want to have sex with one of the women inside. I have the money to buy it, and I'm not leaving until I get it." The Madam figured, why not, so she told him to come in. Once in, she told him to pick any of the girls he liked. He asked, "Do any of the girls have any diseases?" Of course, the Madam said, "No!" He said,
"I heard all the men talking about having to get shots after making love with Amber. THAT'S the girl I want." Since the little boy was so adamant and had the money to pay for it, the Madam told him to go to the first room on the right. He headed down the hall dragging the squashed frog behind him. Ten minutes later he came back, still dragging the frog, paid the Madam, and headed out the door! . The Madam stopped him and asked,
"Why did you pick the only girl in the place with a disease, instead of one of the others?" He said, "Well, if you must know, tonight when I get home, my parents are going out to a restaurant to eat, leaving me at home with a baby-sitter. After they leave, my baby-sitter will have sex with me because she just happens to be very fond of cute little boys. She will then get the disease that I just caught. When Mom and Dad get back, Dad will take the baby-sitter home. On the way, he'll jump the baby-sitter's bones, and he'll catch the disease. Then when Dad gets home from the baby-sitters, he and Mom will go to bed and have sex, and Mom will catch it. In the morning when Dad goes to work, the Milkman will deliver the milk, have a quickie with Mom and catch the disease, and HE'S the son-of-a-bitch who ran over my FROG!"


A Young Man Goes to the Pharmacy


A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants. "Well", he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's THE night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack". The young man makes his purchase and leaves.

Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the blessing, and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes. The girl leans over and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person". He leans over to her and says, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist".


Jack Visits the Local Brothel


Jack is one horny guy and is not sure what to do about it. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a five dollar bill. He walks down the steet to the local brothal and knocks on the door. The madam opens the door and asks Jack what she can do for him. "I'm really horny but I only have $5. What can you do for me?", Jack asks the madam. She looks over this fellow and tells him, "Don't worry we can take care of you. No problem". She leads Jack into this room where in the opposite corner is a chicken. Jack thinks about this a second and figures it can't be that bad. He gives the madam the $5 and she closes the door behind her. Jack undresses and has the time of his live. When he's done he can't remember when he has had such a pleasurable experience.

One week later, and horny again, Jack has saved up $10. Being a satisfied customer he goes back to the same madam and asks what she can do for him for $10. "Well for $10 we have special show", the madam replies. She leads him into a different room where there are several other people sitting on benches. "Sit back and enjoy the show Jack", the madam tells him. Jack gives the money to the madam and takes a seat on one of benches. Soon after, the lights dim and the blinds open revealing another room on the other side of a two way mirror where two women begin to undress each other. Jack is very impressed. Clearly these women are unaware anyone is watching as they begin to make love to each other passionately. Apparently there is nothing they won't do to each other. Jack once again feels like he is getting his money's worth. He turns to the person beside him and says, "This is a pretty good show for ten bucks eh?!". The guy turns to Jack and says, "That's nothing... last week we saw a guy fuck a chicken".